


Nomi Darklighter's War Diary

by NomiDarklighter



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars - Freeform, The Empire Strikes Back
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-01-10 07:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 111
Words: 119,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12294126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NomiDarklighter/pseuds/NomiDarklighter
Summary: The fight of the former smuggler Nomi Darklighter against the Empire.Star Wars & Characters ©Lucasfilm/Disney





	1. Prologue + Somewhere in the Outer Rim

**Author's Note:**

> My very first fanfic in an edited version. Don't expect too much. I wrote it from 1997 till 1998.  
> I wrote it before the release of the Prequels, so there aren't any Midichlorians.

\- Prologue -

I was born to a moisture farmer family on Tatooine. Since my parents Jula and Silya Darklighter adored the Jedi I was named after the famous Jedi Knight Nomi Sunrider.  
We had a large estate on Tatooine, but it fell to the Empire. It was the punishment for helping Jedi to escape during the Great Purge.

Life on Tatooine was always boring for me. The only fun was to fly with the family's skyhopper through Beggar's Canyon, together with Luke Skywalker, my cousin Biggs and others who were bored like me. The greatest adventure for us was to shoot on Womp Rats.  
I was always longing for the stars, but there was no way to reach this goal.  
When all my friends had left the planet there was nothing what held me any longer. I run away from our farm and went to Mos Eisley. There I have stolen a YT-1300 Corellian freighter, named it Aquarius and begun a career as a smuggler. Together with my copilot Tarik, a winged non-human from a little-known planet in the Outer Rim I was quite successful. We were able to get a living from our business.

Then the day came which had changed my life forever. The day when I learned that my cousin Biggs was killed in action during the Battle of Yavin. When my grief ceased was only hate and anger for the Empire left inside me. Shortly after I've joined the Alliance to restore the Republic, which the Empire only refers to as the Rebellion. 

Somewhere in the Outer Rim

It was calm in our sector of the Outer Rim. Too calm for my taste to be honest. I had a bad feeling. Tarik was bored. "I don't know, Nomi, when we were smugglers there was more fun and adventure in our lives."  
I shrugged. "It wasn't about fun and adventure that I've joined the Alliance. Must I remind you, that it was your own decision to pledge your allegiance to the cause?"  
Tarik frowned. "I thought they would make us X-wing pilots. And now we're serving on this damn gunship at the turbolasers."

Since the Alliance was forced to abandon the base on Yavin 4 we were on the run. Searching for a new place for a base throughout the galaxy. But it wasn't easy. Whenever we thought that we've found a safe place, the Empire discovered us. And every time it cost us comrades and material. We were clearly outnumbered. If it wasn't for the bravery and determination of our fighters there wouldn't be any hope for the galaxy to get rid of the Imperial yoke.

Then out of the sudden the alarm sounded.  
A voice over intercom: "We're under attack! Man the turbolasers!"  
Tarik and me were heading for our stations at the turbolasers. We were firing at the oncoming Imperial capitol ships, while the X-wings escorting us engaged the TIEs. The Dantooine shuddered under the hits she took.  
Then the shields were failing and our turbolaser battery was hit and exploded.

When I woke up, I found myself hanging in a bacta tank. I've survived, but it seemed that I was severe wounded. Nobody wasted bacta on a merely scratch.  
I've lost track of time and I couldn't remember how often they took me in the tank.

One day a young dark haired man was sitting at my bed and looked at me. "So you are the woman who's assigned to my squadron? I'm Commander Wedge Antilles. We're in desperate need of pilots."  
I looked at the Commander. "You want me to fly in your squadron, Commander?"  
He smiled at me. "If you have only half the talent of your late cousin... yes. But first you must heal, Lieutenant Darklighter." Then he stood up and left the room.  
I looked after him and couldn't believe that my dream came finally true.


	2. Anoat System

The injuries I've sustained aboard the Dantooine were almost healed. There was now nothing to stop my training. The Alliance had built an outpost for the X-wing training on an asteroid in the Anoat System.

I was lucky to be personally trained by Commander Wedge Antilles. The training was hard and consisted of simulator practices during the first weeks. I should familiarize myself calmly with the controls of an X-Wing without endangering myself or others.  
The programmed exercises were tough and Commander Antilles was a rigid instructor. How often he lectured me when I've failed. This was such a day when all went wrong during training.

"Lieutenant Darklighter, how often must I say that an X-wing isn't a freighter? Commander Skywalker told me that you flew through Beggar's Canyon together with him and Biggs on Tatooine. The controls of an Incom T-16 Skyhopper are equivalent to those of an X-wing. I don't get it why you have such difficulties."  
When he mentioned Biggs I broke out in tears. He looked in consternation at me and then happened something totally unexpected. Commander Antilles took me in his arms and tried to comfort me.  
"It's ok, Nomi. Stop crying, please. I can't stand seeing tears. C'mon we go through the exercises again. I want to make you such an ace pilot as your late cousin Biggs was. I feel confident that you'll make it." He hesitated. "I somehow feel guilty for Biggs' death, you know."  
I looked at him. "No, Commander, you're not guilty. Luke told me. If you had stayed in the trench you would have also been killed."  
"Please don't call me Commander, Nomi. I'm simply Wedge for you. Maybe you're right. But I think it would be better to continue practicing now."

As time passed my piloting skills improved. Wedge was deeply contented. When I climbed into a real X-wing for the first time I was very proud. We had had drone ships as targets, and I could hardly believe it when I learned I had a hit rate of 100%.  
When we had landed on the base, Wedge came towards me and hugged me.  
"Congratulations, Nomi, you're a member of Rogue Squadron now."  
After he had congratulated me, that I was accepted in Rogue Squadron he whispered in my ear: "I hope you know what you get yourself into, Nomi. The Rogues are fighting on the front line. We're under the best fighters of the Alliance and we're respected and admired by all. But you must be aware that most of the Rogues are dying young. I would understand if you prefer another unit, Nomi."  
I get clear of him. "I'm aware that maybe I won't get old when being a Rogue. Nevertheless is my decision firm, I'll serve in Rogue Squadron. Nobody discourages me from doing this, Wedge. I must do this in memoriam of Biggs."  
Wedge stared at me. "It's your decision, but I can't say that I'm glad about this."  
Perhaps he is afraid to see again a Darklighter die.

When I was back in my quarters I sat down at the table. I was thinking about Dash, wishing that he would be with me. It was long ago since I've heard of him the last. He would be proud of me when he would know that I'm a fighter pilot in Rogue Squadron. Even if I try so hard, I can't forget him. I miss him so much. I'll probably never see Dash again and he will never know what happened to me if I am killed in battle.


	3. Somewhere in Hyperspace

We were on our way home from a mission. My very first mission for the Alliance. Wedge and I infiltrated the Imperial Academy planet Carida.

We were tasked to steal ion cannon components. The drill on Carida was harsh. Since Wedge already knew how to behave as an Imp it was much easier for him to blend in than for me. He told me that he was once a TIE fighter pilot before he defected to the Alliance. During the months we were there we managed to steal the components. And not this alone, we were also able to sabotage the controls of some Imperial Star Destroyers and TIEs. This was an easy task for me since I was trained as a commando. Maybe therefore they chose me for the mission.

When we had finally the needed components we went to the freighter where we had secretly stored them. But then the problems began. A stormtrooper commander stopped us. "Where are you going?"  
Wedge answered him: "We've order to make the freighter ready to take off, sir."  
The commander turned to a com unit. "I don't know anything about it. I'll ask."  
Wedge gave a signal and we drew our weapons. Nobody can imagine the confusion among the stormtroopers when two of their own fired on them. Before they get the idea to return the fire approximately a dozen of them lay dead on the ground. But the survivors recovered fast from their shock and it became hard to reach the freighter. We encountered fierce resistance. Our fleeing became a race with the death. Half of Carida was in uproar because of us. At last we had reached our destination. Freedom was within our grasp, when I get the uneasy feeling of danger. I called out to Wedge that he has to take cover while already shots were flying over our heads. We were ambushed by the enemy.

Wedge shouted at me, but I couldn't understand him because of the noise of battle. He gestured towards the freighter and then I understood what he was calling.  
"Run to the freighter, Nomi! I'll give you covering fire!"  
I actually managed to get to the freighter and start it. When I looked out of the cockpit, I saw that Wedge was surrounded by stormtroopers. It was only a matter of time before he would be killed or captured. I couldn't leave Wedge to his fate. I pulled the freighter up and flew to the place where Wedge was.  
The stormtroopers fired with their blaster rifles at the freighter, but the shots bounced harmlessly from the deflector shields. With the freighter's laser cannon, I caused much more damage among the stormtroopers.  
When I was directly over Wedge I opened the hatch and lowered the ramp. Wedge jumped up and entered the freighter. I closed the hatch and raised the ramp. He had slumped hardly in the copilot seat, when I ascended in Carida's orbit.

There, the Imps had nothing to set against us because our sabotage of the Star Destroyers and TIEs was very successful. After we left the gravitational shadow of the planet, we jumped into hyperspace.  
That was a close call. Thanks the Force at last everything went well and we were able to bring the ion cannon components to our new base.


	4. Eol Shah

We thought we could set up our new base on Eol Shah without ruffle or excitement. But the Imperials weren't as stupid as we thought. Using a tracking device they managed to track us up to our base. We're actually fallen for the Empire's oldest trick.  
When suddenly an imperial fleet appeared in orbit, we hardly trusted our eyes. It consisted of the Super Star Destroyer Executor, 5 Imperial Class Star Destroyers and 5 Victory Class Star Destroyers, in addition the respective amount of TIEs.  
Somehow it is odd that we are now always confronted with Imperial troops under Vader's supreme command.

Princess Leia ordered an immediate evacuation of the base.  
To cover our retreat, the captured ion cannon operated by Tarik and his comrades, fired on the Star Destroyers. They actually managed to disable the capitol ships.  
In the meantime the X-wing pilots headed for their fighters. We should entangle the TIEs in melees in order to allow the transport ships to escape with the equipment and the ground units. It wasn't an easy task.  
My little brother Gavin, who was now also with the Alliance, was my wingman, which was really a big advantage. It was really a nice feeling to fly with someone in combat you can rely on. No sooner had we ascended to the orbit, than the first attack wave of TIEs came towards us. Over the battle frequency I heard Luke's voice: "Here Rogue Leader. Avoid the Star Destroyers. We don't know how long the effect of the ion cannons shots will last. Try to entangle the TIEs in melees and distract them from the transports. Let's go, Rogues and may the Force be with you."  
We confirmed one by one that we had understood his order, and then the battle begun.

The TIE pilots weren't bad, but they did not fight with desperate courage.  
I heard my brother's voice: "Rogue 5. Sis, watch it! You've a TIE at your back."  
I couldn't see anything. "Damn, Gavin, I've no indication. Wait, I see it."  
The TIE was right behind me and tried to get me into its targeting computer. Via com I spoke with my R2-unit Fuzzy: " Fuzzy, make the best of the fighter." He chirped and on the display I could see the translated answer. It didn't looked good, we flew already at full speed.  
More wasn't possible. The TIE caught up. Soon I would be in firing range.  
Desperately I tried to avoid him with a corkscrew maneuver, but he remained persistent behind me.  
Suddenly I heard Wedge's voice via com: "Stay calm, Nomi, I'll be right with you. Gavin, give me cover, if you do not want your sister to be vaporized by an Imperial."  
I was in its firing range now and inwardly I prepared for the inevitable end. It was almost as if I could already feel the lambent flames that would consume my body. But then the X-Wing of Wedge appeared just before me. "Nomi, push your fighter down!"  
I followed his order and then Wedge flew towards the TIE and fired his laser cannons. The TIE vanished in a fireball.  
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Wedge."  
He laughed. "You're welcome, Nomi. You can buy me a drink when we're back."  
Then we heard Luke's voice via com: "Splendid shot, Rogue. The transports are all gone. Our work is done. Let's go, Rogues."

We had put up a good fight. Many TIEs were shot down by us and all of our transports escaped. We were only forced to left behind our ion cannon on Eol Shah.  
Then we were in hyperspace heading for our rendezvous point.  
After a long search, we finally found a planet suitable for our new base.


	5. Nar Shaddaa

Last week we get information through an Imperial defector that Vader is obsessed with finding Luke.  
All units were mobilized for the search. Even bounty hunters are on the scent. Everybody was eager to find Luke. No wonder since the bounty on his head was doubled.

But they are also behind other rebels, as I discovered to my horror. Someday, Wedge, Tarik, Gavin and I just wanted to check if on Nar Shaddaa was anything useful for the Alliance. This was a bad idea. I've totally forgotten that my copilot and I was well known on the Smuggler's Moon. Unfortunately a bounty hunter discovered us, who was on the outs with me. One day I defrauded him of a very high bounty when I freed rebels he had hunted down. Doing this his ship was heavily damaged and he vowed vengeance. That he was now even able to get a high bounty was a lucky strike in his three eyes. He would kill two piranha beetles with one stone.  
The bounty hunter confronted me in a back alley. "What do you think where are you going, Darklighter?"  
"Wherever I go, I'm certainly not going with you, scum." I drew my blaster.  
The bounty hunter laughed at me. "I shiver with fear, Darklighter. Drop your blaster and you'll live. If not - die." He aimed his blaster at my head.  
I saw Wedge creeping up on him. He put his index finger on his lips and gestured that I should drop my blaster.  
I followed his lead and dropped my blaster to the ground.  
"I see you can be reaso..." The bounty hunter never finished the sentence. Blood oozed out of his mouth and he fell to the ground after Wedge shot him in the back.  
I breathed a sigh of relief and picked my blaster up from the ground. "Thank you, Wedge."  
He grinned. "You're welcome, Nomi. One bounty hunter less to worry about. We should leave Nar Shaddaa as fast as possible. Where one bounty hunter is there are certainly more of them."  
I nodded. "Where are Tarik and Gavin?"  
Wedge answered: "When I saw them the last they were on their way to the black market."  
"Then we must pick them up there. Let's go."

Shortly after we reached the black market. I looked out for my brother and Tarik.  
"There they are." Wedge pointed at a booth where he saw Gavin and Tarik. Both were discussing with the merchant.  
We approached them and I tapped my brother on the shoulder. He turned and smiled at me.  
"What do you think, sister, is this spare part 100 credits worth?"  
I checked the emitter. "It seems in good shape, but 100 credits are way too much. 80 credits."  
The merchant winced. "This would be my ruin, Miss. 90 credits."  
I wrinkled my forehead. "85 credits. Take it or leave it."  
The merchant winced again. "You're killing me... ok, 85 credits."  
I smiled broadly and prompted the transfer on his account. "A pleasure to bargain with you."  
I put the emitter in my satchel and grabbed my brother's arm. "We have to make off," I said quietly. "I had an encounter with a bounty hunter. Wedge shot him."

We went to the docking bay and shortly after our ship ascended in Nar Shaddaa's orbit. When we reached the jump point we entered hyperspace with destination Hoth, the location of our new base.


	6. Hoth

I couldn't hardly believe it, but it was true, Dash has returned to me. He suddenly appeared on Hoth with a load of smuggled blaster rifles. After half a standard year he was back and worked for the Alliance.  
When he stood in my quarters I believed to see a ghost. He had not let me come to think, but pulled into his arms. Then he kissed me passionately. Initially I tried to push him back, but then my resistance melted like snow in the sun and I responded to his kiss passionately. Affectionately Dash caressed my face and then he finally said the words I had been waiting for so long: "I love you, Nomi."  
I was so happy.

However, when I told Wedge full of joy that Dash has returned to me, he just shook his head and said: "I don't understand you, Nomi. What binds you to this smuggler and mercenary?  
He is cynical, arrogant and egoistic. There are so many nice men in the galaxy, why have you lose your heart at such a scoundrel? Guys like him are looking for pleasure without obliging themselves to anything. You'll see when he has enough of you, he will disappear again. If you're unlucky, you'll be a single mother."  
I had not expected such a reaction from Wedge. I answered him: "Dash isn't how you think that he is, Wedge."  
He looked at me seriously. "I wish you from my heart that you're right, Nomi and I hope that he is worthy of your love."  
I gave Wedge a kiss on the cheek and thanked him for his wish. Then I went back to my quarters, where Dash was already waiting for me.  
I thought about Wedge's words, but he was wrong with the assessment of Dash. He couldn't knew that a stroke of fate rendered Dash into the man he was now.

Shortly after my doubts were removed. I was overjoyed, when Dash made me a marriage proposal. Although he had always said that he would never get married. I didn't know why he had changed his mind. It was romantic when he kneeled in front of me on the ice cold ground.  
"I love you, Nomi and I can't live without you. Do you want to be my wife?"  
I smiled at him and answered: "Yes, Dash, I want to be your wife."


	7. Battle of Fondor

A few standard days later I was called to Princess Leia. "As you know our snowspeeders are still non functional. We have intel that the shipyards on Fondor produce the needed spare parts. You will fly together with Commander Antilles, Tarik and your brother Gavin to Fondor to get those spare parts.

When I told Dash about the new mission he became very angry. " Why do you want to participate in such suicide mission, Nomi? They want to attack an Imperial shipyard with only four fighters? Have they gone mad? You won't go with them, Nomi! I forbid you to do!"  
I wanted to run out of the room, but he was faster and grabbed me with a grip hard as durasteel on the arm.  
"Damn, Nomi, you stay here and when I have to lock you up!"  
I tried to get rid of his grip, but he only intensified his grip.  
I snapped at him. "Let go, Dash, you're hurting me! You've nothing to forbid me! If you haven't noticed yet, I'm an officer of the Alliance and must obey my orders! Even if they mean death for me." I said the last sentence a bit quieter.  
Dash finally loosened his grip.  
"I'm only afraid for you, my darling. I don't want to lose you."  
I caressed his cheek and kissed him.  
"You won't lose me. Trust me, I'll come back. We aren't only four, but the entire Rogue Squadron will fly the attack. In addition, you forget that I have previously served in a commando unit and was trained as a sniper. Nothing will happen to me, Dash."

Then he let go of me and finally I was able to go to the hangar, where my comrades were waiting for me.

When we dropped out of hyperspace we saw the planet Fondor and its orbital ship yards.  
Normally Imperial facilities were heavily guarded, but since parts of the Imperial navy were bound in the search for Rebel outposts and Luke, there was only one Star Destroyer in orbit.  
I heard Wedge's voice: "Shields up, Rogues. We're going in. Fire at will. We must buy time for the team which will retrieve the spare parts we need."  
It wasn't long until they discovered us.  
The voice of Rogue 6: "Incoming enemy fighters!"  
I heard the voices of my comrades.  
"We'll cover for you."  
"We're right above you!"  
I saw laser streaks flung from Wedge's X-wing connecting with a TIE. The TIE bought it, creating a tremendous explosion far below.  
"Watch yourself, Toby! Increase speed full throttle!"  
"They're coming in! Three marks at two ten."  
Suddenly I heard Wedge's voice: "I can't shake him!"  
I saw a TIE right after him nearly in firing range. "I'm on him! Hold on!"  
Then I dove towards Wedge and the TIE. I moved my X-wing rapidly.  
"Blast it! Where are you?"  
I approached the TIE joined by Gavin and we both unleashed a volley of laser fire on the Imperial fighter. The TIE exploded filling our cockpit windows with white light.  
Finally we heard the voice of one of our commandos. "We have what we need. Let's get out of here."

Shortly after we hurried back to the jump point. TIEs in hot pursuit, but we managed to outrun them and to make the jump to hyperspace


	8. Battle of Hoth

Luke had been attacked by a Wampa a few standard days ago and was seriously injured. Han told me about this when they were back. He had found Luke in the ice desert. But since Han's Taun Taun was frozen to death there was no way back to the base. The night with Luke in the pup tent was terrible. Luke had fever and fantasized constantly about a Yoda and Dagobah. Han thought that Luke wouldn't make it. At the morning the snowspeeders were finally operational, were searching for them and found them. After a few standard hours in a bacta tank Luke was well again.

Then came the day when the Empire found us. We had felt so safe on Hoth. When the alarm sirens blared I was with my Taun Taun on the North Ridge. I managed it to reach the base before the AT-AT attack begun. When I reached the base I ran from the Taun Taun stables to the hangar for readying my X-wing for takeoff. The Imperials had already prevailed and had intruded the base.  
I was just turning a corner when I saw a squad led by Vader personally. I almost ran into them. I pressed myself into a niche and prayed quietly that they wouldn't notice me. My heart stood still when the Dark Lord looked exactly in the direction where I was hiding.  
He paused for a moment and said to the stormtroopers accompanying him: "I feel something. A presence... But it can't be - strange."  
Then he shook his head and hurried on.  
I let go of the breath, I didn't realize I had been holding. I'm no coward but against Vader there would had been no chance. My way to the hangar was terrible. There were dead and wounded everywhere. Again and again I encountered stormtroopers. I had to fight my way to the hangar in the truest sense of the word. Killing was not easy for me, but it was about either them or me. I had no choice if I wanted to survive. But these images will probably haunt me for a lifetime. Finally I reached the hangar where I saw Dash. He had recently arrived with the Outrider.  
I thought my eyes not to be trusted. Was he totally crazy? He jumped in a snowspeeder and joined the attack, which was lead by Luke, on the AT-ATs. He wasn't even a member of the Alliance. I couldn't stay any longer and think about Dash's combat mission. The enemies were already close. I jumped into my X-Wing, which my R2-unit Fuzzy had already made ready for takeoff.  
As part of the escort for the last transport, I managed to escape the Imperial blockade.

When we reached the rendezvous point I could Dash take in my arms. He had survived the Imperial attack. We had to mourn many losses. It was the greatest defeat the Alliance had suffered so far. After the evacuation were Han, Luke, Princess Leia and Chewie missing.  
We all had expected to see them at the rendezvous point. But even after many standard days there wasn't any sign of life from them.

Dash had completely changed since the battle. Only outwardly he still maintained the facade of the cynic and the mouthy jack-of-all-trades.  
He had already told me on his way to Hoth, that he has a great request to me. After a tenderly kiss he told me his wish. "After all this dying that I had to watch, I was only strengthened even more in my desire. I had already told you on my way to Hoth, that I have a great request, my darling."  
I looked up to him and nodded.  
He looked at me lovingly. "Now I stand before you and don't know how to tell you, Nomi."  
"Ah come on, Dash, you were never shy. What is it?"  
Well, and then he blurted out his desire. " I want a child from you, Nomi. Please don't say no."  
He looked at me expectantly.  
My thoughts swirled. A child. I have always dreamed of marrying one day and having children. But there's war. The Alliance has no need for a pregnant pilot. How should I tell him that now is not the right time for a child?  
Pleadingly he looked at me with his beautiful green eyes.  
" Yes, Dash, I would also like to have a child of you..." I hesitated to end the sentence.  
Dash didn't notice it and immediately wanted to take action. As he began to open the zipper of my uniform, I held his hand and finished the sentence.  
"... but not at this time. I think if we want to populate the galaxy with little Rendars, it's better to wait until after the war."

His reaction to my rejection of his desire to have children was fierce. We had a terrible quarrel.  
"You don't love me, Nomi! Would you otherwise refuse to have a baby with me?"  
"You're unfair, Dash Rendar!"  
He walked quickly to the door of my quarters. "Is it so hard to understand that I want a child with you, Nomi? I really thought I meant something to you and that I'm not just an affair for you. Apparently I was wrong."  
I ran after him and tried to stop him. " Please, Dash, understand. I love you and you mean everything to me. But for a child is now not the right time."  
Dash get rid of my hand and stormed, followed by me, toward the docking bay, where the Outrider stood. He had not really listened to me or he wouldn't have said the following: "It seems a mercenary and smuggler isn't good enough to you! It's better if I disappear from your life, Nomi!"

At the foot of the ramp of the Outrider I had finally caught up with him. The eyes of all those present in the docking bay were directed at us, but that was indifferent to me.  
"Please, Dash, don't go."  
He ran up the ramp without hesitation and disappeared inside the freighter. The access ramp was lifted and I had to retreat behind the protective gates, when the Outrider launched.


	9. Corellia

Dash came after a few days back to me. It was shortly before a mission to Corellia in order to establish a supply line for the Alliance.

Wedge and me were assigned to the mission. When we entered the hangar bay, he looked with amazement at the Aquarius. "Oh wow! I thought the Millennium Falcon is a hunk of junk, but your ship is far worse, Nomi."  
I laughed. "Ah c'mon, Wedge, I don't know what you mean. For me she's beautiful. I have also installed some extras and the engines modified so that the Aquarius is the second fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy."  
Wedge grumbled: "If you say so. Let's start."

After an eventless journey we landed on Corellia. But it seemed that our mission was ill-fated.  
Two standard days after our landing we learned that Dan D'y our contact on Corellia was taken by the Imperials. He hadn't survived the interrogation. Wedge was nervous when he came back in our room.  
"It would be better if we go as fast as possible, Nomi. We don't know what Dan D'y told the Imperials when they tortured him. There are few who can withstand an Imperial interrogation droid."  
I nodded and quickly packed our things. Unfortunately the Aquarius was in a docking bay situated at the other end of the city. We hoped that we won't encounter any Imperials on our way since we were wanted by the Empire. Our only weapons were my vibro knife and Wedge's blaster. I'm skilled with the knife but it is a melee weapon and there's no Imperial who let someone come this near to use it effectively.  
Wedge urged to leave. We hoped that the Force would be with us and we would escape unscathed. But our hope for an easy escape has not been fulfilled.

Against expectation Wedge and me had reached the space port without any incidents and we considered ourselves safe. Then an incident happened we hadn't bargained for. Since my dress was a little bit too flirty a drunken Twi'lek was attracted by me. Swaying he came up to us. When he was on the same level with us, he suddenly caught my arm.  
"Hey, sweetie, how about the two of us?"  
I tried to get rid of him, but he was holding me tight.  
"Let me go, please."  
His breath smelled of alcohol when he answered me. "Ah, you play the farouche."  
With a look of contempt he looked at Wedge. "What does this guy has to offer? Come with me. I promise you we'll have a lot of fun with each other."  
I looked for help to Wedge. He tried to take the Twi'lek's hand from my arm.  
"You heard what my fiancée said."  
The Twi'lek laughed. "Your fiancée? Boy, you're still wet behind the ears. Someone like you, I won't even let clean out my Bantha stables. And now go away."  
At the same moment he swung his fist and downed Wedge. He turned back to me.  
"C'mon, sweetie, let's go to me now."  
He tightened his grip on my arm and pulled me close. When he tried to kiss me, I didn't know what else to do and pulled out my vibro knife.  
"Ok, that's enough. You didn't want it otherwise."  
The Twi'lek recoiled. He had thought I would be easy meat for him.  
Then I realized that it had been a mistake to pull the knife. The four stormtroopers, who until then had been bored in a corner by the landing bay of the Aquarius, felt they had to intervene now that a weapon was involved. They recognized Wedge and me because we were wanted by the Empire.  
"There are Rebels! Fire!"  
Without hesitation they opened fire on me and Wedge, who had meanwhile regained consciousness. Unfortunately, I was exactly in the line of fire.  
Wedge yelled. "Nomi! Take cover!"  
But there wasn't any cover and it was already too late. In the same instant when Wedge yelled several blaster shots hit me. I felt a terrible, burning pain in my chest. With my hands I tried to stop the bleeding. My vision was blurred, but I noticed that Wedge came crawling towards me.  
Thanks the Force he wasn't this badly injured like me. Then darkness enveloped me - I had lost consciousness. I woke up in a bacta tank aboard a frigate.  
Wedge had managed somehow to checkmate the stormtroopers and to carry me aboard the Aquarius.  
He told me that he had never flown this fast like this time. The emergency med pack couldn't have kept me alive for long. Wedge said if I had died, he would never have been able to look in Dash's, Luke's and especially my brother's eyes. He is quite contrite that he couldn't protect me on Corellia.

Speaking of Luke, he's also here aboard the frigate. He has lost his right hand when he dueled Darth Vader on Cloud City. Luke got a bionic hand for the lost one. When I visited him I was shocked how he looked like. I sat down at his side and asked him: "What happened, Luke?"  
I saw tears running down his face and took him in my arms. "You know that you can tell me anything."  
Luke slowly calmed down and then he told me the whole terrible story.  
"It's all my fault, Nomi. I should have listen to Master Yoda and Ben. They warned me that I'm not ready. But I couldn't let my friends down. But I made things even worse."  
He began anew to cry.  
"Han... he was frozen in carbonite on Vader's order and handed over to the bounty hunter Boba Fett, who brings him to Jabba the Hutt. I... I was so sure that I can avert disaster, but I've failed, Nomi. In the end they had to save me."  
Luke raised his head and looked into my eyes with a tear-stained look.  
"I must tell you something, Nomi. You're my friend. I don't know nobody else to whom I could confide what I tell you now. Vader claimed to be my father."

I looked horrified at him and left him shortly after. It was unbelievable to me that this monster could be Luke's father.


	10. Rogue Squadron

It was boring being in the med bay. I was still wondering why General Rieekan sent us so badly armed on a mission. When I objected during the briefing he only said: "Lieutenant Darklighter, you have your orders."

Luke was also still there, but he wasn't able to lighten my mood.  
I was happy when 2-1B told me that I can fly again in one standard week. My brother Gavin was eager to fly with me since I was his pivot. Also Wedge was looking forward to the moment when I would be with Rogue Squadron again.

Finally the moment came when I was able to leave the med bay. It was amazing how fast my severe wounds were healed.

Four days later we were accidentally discovered by an Imperial Star Destroyer. It was my first battle after being wounded on Corellia. We were able to jam their transmissions so they couldn't send the coordinates. After this we were deployed to engage the TIEs and the Star Destroyer itself.  
I heard Wedge's voice over comm. "Rogues, S-foils in attack position and fire at will."  
Shortly after our attack runs begun.  
"Rogue 3, a TIE's tailing you."  
"I can't see anything. My scanner doesn't work."  
In the same instant I saw how Rogue 3 was hit. Flames came out of the stern. He drifted slowly to the frigate with an engine failure.  
We managed to take out several TIEs when I saw something odd in my scanner readout.  
"Rogue Leader, there's something odd on my scanner."  
"I saw it Rogue 10."  
"Do you think the same like me, Leader?"  
"I bet I know what you think. We're going in, Rogue 10. Rogues, keep the TIEs busy and out of our necks."  
Together we steered our X-wings in the Star Destroyer's direction. We met heavy defensive fire, but our shields held. Then we were in firing range and we took advantage of the mistake the Star Destroyer's commander made. He had directed the whole shield energy on the rear shields. The bow was literally wide open. My finger lingered over the fire button. Then the signal of the targeting device sounded and I pushed the button sending the proton torpedoes away. Seconds later the Star Destroyer exploded and some TIEs were caught in the explosion resp. the resulting shockwave.  
"Splendid shot, 10!"  
The enemy ship and the fighters were all destroyed. No survivor left to tell that there were rebel transports and frigates.

We didn't hear anything from Lando and Chewie. It seemed it wasn't easy to find a trace of Boba Fett. Luke went together with Princess Leia to Tatooine because it was Boba Fett's destination in order to deliver Han to Jabba the Hutt. Luke also wanted to take a look in Ben's hut if there would be something he could use for his Jedi training. Perhaps there would be also plans how to build a new lightsaber since he lost his own during the duel with Darth Vader.

At the day of Luke's and Princess Leia's departure Dash came to me and looked at me with pleading eyes.  
"I can't wait any longer, Nomi. Let us marry when Han is freed. He could be my groomsman, Darling."  
I nodded and hugged him lovingly.  
"I agree, we've waited long enough. When Han is freed I become your wife, I promise."  
It was a nice evening, where we sat together for a long time and made plans for the future.

The next day Dash stood in front of me to tell me about his newest plan.  
"I'll take part on the search for Boba Fett. Imagine how it would be if I find Boba Fett. It's worth a few credits for sure, isn't it?"  
With his superficial selfishness and his greed for credits, he does not make himself popular.  
That's what I told him clearly, but he just shrugged his shoulders and went to his beloved Outrider.  
I ran after him and caught up with him at the access ramp.  
"Dash, please..."  
He turned slowly to me. "Yes, Nomi?"  
I went up to him, stood on tiptoe and kissed him. "Take care, Dash."  
He laughed and tenderly caressed my face. "Take care, Nomi and don't mess with Imperial Star Destroyers again."  
Then he walked up the ramp and disappeared inside the Outrider.


	11. Gall

Two days later came Wedge's mission order for Gall.  
Dash thought that he had seen there Boba Fett's ship the Slave I. We were pretty sure that it wouldn't be an easy mission because of the great Imperial garrison there. And we should be right about this.

It was planned that the pilots of Rogue Squadron distract the Imperials so Lando, Princess Leia, Chewie and Dash could land with the Millennium Falcon resp. the Outrider on Gall.  
Dash ought to bring them to the location of the Slave I.

We had to deal with superior numbers. A Star Destroyer was in a striking distance, so our 12 X-wings were attacked by 72 TIEs. Furthermore there was a second Star Destroyer at the planet's dayside.  
When the second Star Destroyer slowly advanced towards us we were forced to abandon the attack. Under those circumstances we were unable to carry on.  
Luke was nearly vaporized by Rogue 6 because his R2-unit went mad. He told me afterwards that only because he had used the Force he managed to take out the X-wing without hurting Wes. All of us were hoping that we bought enough time, so that our friends were able to reach the Slave I.  
Back at the base, we then learned that this was not the case. Boba Fett escaped.

What should the crew of the Millennium Falcon do against such superiority alone? Yes, alone. Dash skipped out on them with the justification that he wasn't paid for shooting. Luke was so furious about this that Wedge was forced to hinder him on bashing Dash. There wasn't much to be seen of a Jedi at this moment.

When we were alone I gave Dash a piece of my mind. The argument was noisy as usual. I stood in front of my fiancé and flashed at him angrily.  
"Damn, Dash, why did you do that?"  
He looked at me innocently with his wonderful green eyes.  
"What have I done, darling?"  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Dash! You skipped out on our friends! Do you realize that they could have died there?"  
He tried to calm me down and grabbed my arm. I shook off his hand.  
"Don't touch me!"  
He shrugged.  
"What do you want, Nomi? They paid me for bringing them there. Damn, more wasn't agreed! I'm a mercenary, in case you forgot! If they expected me to fight for them, then they would have had to pay me for it!"  
The answer hit me hard. This wasn't the man I believed to love. I had the feeling of seeing a stranger in front of me. Saddened I turned away.  
"You've understood nothing, Dash."  
Dash took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. I looked at the ground, because he shouldn't see that I was crying. Of course he realized it nevertheless. When he spoke to me again, there was so much love and tenderness in his voice.  
"Please, Nomi, stop crying. Yes, you're right, it was wrong what I did. I... I'm sorry."  
He gently took my head in his hands and started kissing away the tears.  
"Forgive me, darling."  
Hesitantly I began to return his caresses and Dash sighed with relief.  
"I forgive you, Dash."

Later we learned that the malfunction of Wes' R2-unit wasn't by chance. A bribed technician had programmed it this way. We won't get any chance to learn who has bribed her, because Wedge was forced to shoot her.

A few standard days later Dash got another chance from Princess Leia to make up for his behavior on Gall. She had hired him as a bodyguard for Luke. He should take care that nothing happens to Luke on Tatooine.  
Everyone suspected that Vader was behind the attack, but I can't imagine that. Even he can't have sunk so low that he seeked his own son's life. Or did he lie to Luke in Cloud City?


	12. Secret Alliance Base

After several weeks Dash came back. But it wasn't the Dash I was used to know. He performed his task as Luke's bodyguard very well, but another task he has totally messed up.  
In the course of hijacking a freighter over Kothlis that had a computer with secret plans of the Empire on board eight Bothans died because of him.  
He was shaken and in desperation. It wasn't only a damaged ego. The dead Bothans been on his conscience and he said again and again that he can't have fired wide. There wasn't much left of the Dash I was fallen in love with.

A few days later he was on his way to Coruscant to support Luke's friends. Princess Leia was in trouble after contacting Black Sun, since Prince Xizor hold her captive.  
Dash wanted to make up for his failure at Kothlis. He also had a score to settle with the Empire. When he told me about his plan, I must had paled, since he looked shocked at me.  
"What's wrong, darling? You're so pale."  
In my helplessness I yelled at him.  
"They'll kill you, Dash! Did you forget that the Rendar family was banished from the planet under penalty of death after the freighter accident that killed your brother and destroyed the Emperor's museum? I don't want that you go! Don't leave me, Dash!"  
Dash gently pulled me into his arms and caressed my face.  
"Don't make it so hard for me, Nomi. It will all work out. Trust me. Believe me I know what I'm doing and I'll be back." He looked at his chrono. "It's time. Leebo has readied the Outrider for takeoff."  
Dash stood up and went to the door. I followed him and we walked together to the hangar. Before Dash stepped into the Outrider he kissed me so full of desire and passion, as if it were the last time. I was so worried about him.

Every night, a terrible nightmare plagued me, with Dash standing in a blaze of flames calling to me. I wanted to go to meet him, but I couldn't reach him. He disappeared into the inferno and when it has gone out there was only a pile of ashes left - Dash was gone. Then I woke up and my nightgown was wet with sweat. I hoped so much that it wasn't a vision of coming events.


	13. Secret Alliance Base

Dash was dead.

He died over Coruscant a senseless death, when the Outrider was hit by the debris of Prince Xizor's skyhook, that was destroyed on Lord Vader's order.  
Luke said that he has wanted to warn him not to fly too close at the debris, but it was already too late.  
When Luke brought me the death message I collapsed in his arms. My forebodings were right.  
There were no more tears left and I felt empty and raddled. With Dash a part of me had died.  
Nothing was left for me than the Alliance and the fight against the Empire.  
I realized like many others before me that in times of war it's senseless to bond with someone and to forge out plans for the future.  
It made me particularly sad that Dash would never know that he was not to blame for the death of the Bothans. It was cruel that he had to die with such a burden on his conscience.

Gavin and Wedge were now constantly around me, probably for fear that I would kill myself out of sheer grief and suffering. But this wasn't in my mind, because I wanted to take revenge on the Empire.

The all-consuming grief slowly gave way to a dull ache. I just had to pull myself together.  
In my state, I was just a burden for the Alliance. I was still grounded since nobody believed me that I wasn't about to commit suicide. I wished desperate to climb in my X-wing and to fly to the stars. There I would be near Dash. Every morning when I woke up I hoped that it was a bad dream and that Dash would lay by my side. But this hope was in vain. Dash was dead and would be never come back.  
I had to try to accept this truth and get over the loss.

Leia, Luke, Lando and Chewie were together with the droids gone to free Han from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt. I hoped that they would succeed. It would be tragic if Leia would also lose her great love.

The computer files captured by the Bothans were analyzed and there were already rumors that it were plans for a new Death Star. If indeed such a thing is to be build, we would do our best that it will never be used. There mustn't be another Alderaan.


	14. Secret Alliance Base

Since I was grounded for a long time I was doomed to practice several hours in a simulator. As if someone can unlearn how to fly. But I was glad that I was allowed to fly again. If they had taken that from me as well, then I would have hold a blaster to my head and pulled the trigger.

The simulation showed me that I really haven't unlearned how to fly. Hit ratio 100% and an excellent flight. Dash would be proud of me. I still thought of him and what he would have said or done in some situations. It would be too bad if I could just forget him, after all that was between us and what he meant to me.  
They said that I can climb in my X-wing again and that I'm fully operational. Wedge and Gavin were really looking forward to flying with me again.   
I was burning to fly into combat and to show it the Imps. And I was pretty sure that Luke would be terrified about how I've changed. There was only one goal for me to send as much Imps to their deaths as I could before they would kill me. I had nothing to lose.

But then came all different than expected. They didn't want to let me fly.  
Somehow they had managed to gain access to my diary.  
Admiral Ackbar had personally taken care of my case. I still hear his words: "You are a danger to yourself and others, Lieutenant Darklighter. There's no place for pilots who are seeking their personal revenge neither in the Alliance nor in Rogue Squadron.  
Your judgment is clouded by your severe personal loss. It would reckless to let you fly missions. To be honest, you doesn't look healthy, Lieutenant. We will send you to Ithor for recreation."

I left the command center. Admiral Ackbar was right I didn't feel healthy. For some time I threw up nearly every morning.  
It was ironic that they wanted to send me to Ithor - Dash and I had planned to marry there.


	15. Executor

I was actually on my way to Ithor. They succeeded to convince me that it would be the best for me.

Wedge, Gavin and Tarik promised to visit me on Ithor. I hoped that they can keep their promise.

Suddenly the alarm siren blared when the Aquarius was pulled out of hyperspace. Then I saw an Interdictor Cruiser and the Executor. It couldn't be that they wanted me. But a Darklighter doesn't surrender easily. Then a shot of the Executor's ion cannon took from me any chance to fight. The whole electronics went mad. Then the tractor beam get a lock on my ship and pulled it slowly inside the Super Star Destroyer.  
I drew my blaster and was prepared to fight in close combat. Then I heard the heavy footfalls of stormtrooper boots. They were coming for me.

I managed to shot two troopers of the boarding party before the stunner beam hit me. The stormtroopers who brought me in the detention block were oddly careful with me. Except that they shackled my hands with stunner cuffs behind my back, they didn't mistreat me.  
The cell they brought me in was very small. There was only a niche, that was meant to be my bed and in a corner a small refresher.

The waiting was unnerving and my fear increased with every minute. I thought since Dash's death it would be indifferent for me if I live or die. But it wasn't the case.  
Then I heard again the footfalls of stormtrooper boots. I was pretty sure that they would bring me to my execution. Nobody would know what happened to me. My family and my friends would think that I was lost in space or that I committed suicide.

The stormtroopers didn't bring me to my execution but on the bridge. There an admiral was waiting for me.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter, I'm Admiral Piett. We are ordered by Lord Vader to bring you to Vjun. There you will be brought in his fortress Bast Castle."

After this the stormtroopers brought me back in my cell. The prospect to have an encounter with the Dark Lord caused me to panic. I felt helpless as there was no option to escape my fate. There were only two standard hours left until arrival.


	16. Bast Castle

They brought me with a Lambda class shuttle to Bast Castle on the planet Vjun.  
It was a dark place nearly as dark as the soul of its owner, if he even had a soul. Strangely enough, when there was no way to escape, I was completely calm. I had resigned myself to the inevitable.  
What I didn't understand was why Lord Darth Vader should personally deal with a Rebel officer, who in his eyes was certainly insignificant. They locked me in a cell that looked similar to that on the Executor. But this time they chained me in the alcove.  
Again I heard heavy footfalls but this time they were slightly different to those of the stormtroopers. I was pretty sure that I would face my future tormentor soon.

I was right about this, it was Vader who entered my cell. He came without an interrogation droid, what I saw with relief, even though he was well known to have other methods of truth-finding available.  
For a long time he just stood there and looked at me. Except of his heavy mechanical breathing wasn't any noise to be heard. I tried to show no fear but it seemed that I wasn't successful.  
Finally the Dark Lord spoke to me. "You've no cause to fear me, Nomi Darklighter, at least not yet. Perhaps in six standard months it will be the time you should fear me. It's amazing that such a small person is carrying three potential Dark Jedi."  
I asked him: "Three Dark Jedi, six standard months? What are you talking about?"  
"I'm talking about the three unborn you're carrying since three standard months in your belly. You're expecting Force sensitive triplets. Amazing since you've nothing in common with a Jedi except your given name. I can already feel their strong presence in the Force. Therefore I was able to find you. Who's the father?"

Now I knew why I threw up nearly every morning. Those children, Dash's children, Dash's legacy were the cause.  
Vader spoke again: "Dash Rendar is the father. Then I'm not surprised any longer. There were once in a while Force sensitive born in the Rendar family. But those three are very strong in the Force. When they are born it will be a pleasure to me to show them the dark side of the Force. I will you keep alive until the triplets are weaned. Then you'll be executed."  
After this he left me alone.

Under other circumstances I would have been happy to carry Dash's children. But now I wished that I had them lost when I was severe wounded on Corellia. I wondered why 2-1B hadn't mentioned that I'm pregnant.  
But now I knew how long I would be alive and that until then nothing would happen to me.  
Vader didn't want to endanger his precious Dark Jedi.  
I tried to sleep and I hoped to wake up the next morning and that all this was only a nightmare.


	17. Bast Castle

It wasn't a nightmare. I awoke by hearing Vader's mechanical breathing in my cell. Besides his towering figure stood an approx. 1.30 m tall, gray skinned non-human. This creature looked scary with its large glowing eyes and needle-sharp teeth. It seemed Vader didn't share the Emperor's prejudices concerning non-humans. I was unable to hide my fright.

After the Dark Lord had gloated over my fear for a few moments, he spoke to me: "This is Barakhkha. He's a Noghri and my faithful servant. Barakhkha will guard you. It's useless to think about an escape because I'll find you where ever you try to hide. Remember that I can feel your unborn in the Force. So I always know where you are and I can send Barakhkha to bring you back. Don't even try to escape. But now come with me, you should eat something."  
With these words, he lifted his black gloved hand lightly in my direction and the chain that had tied me to the alcove fall off.  
"Follow me."  
Then he went ahead and I reluctantly followed him, suspiciously watched by the Noghri.

Vader led me into a large room, which was furnished with a large table and chairs from exotic wood. On the table was laid for one person, so he would not eat with me. I was afraid that I would have to see the face that was hidden behind this terrible mask. Vader's voice interrupted my thoughts.  
"Eat now. There is no point to refuse food and to hope to starve to death. I have otherwise ways and means to force you to eat."  
Obediently, I took a few bites of bread and drank a few sips of water from a crystal glass decorated with strange symbols. But no sooner had I swallowed those few bites my stomach began to rebel again. 'Damn, why now?' I thought.  
I didn't want to show any weakness in front of Vader, but since he watched me carefully, he realized what was wrong with me.  
Then he said something that almost sounded like: "Did my wife suffer the same way when she was pregnant with Luke?"  
What was that? That almost sounded as if he still had the ability to have feelings like a human.  
I asked him: "What have you said?"  
But he only replied, this time loud and clear: "Nothing. Barakhkha, bring the medicine that is in my bedroom for our guest."  
This was the moment when I heard the Noghri's voice for the first time. The speech melody was feline like when he answered his master: "To hear is to obey, Mylord."  
Then he left the room and came shortly afterwards back with a small crystal flask that contained a blood red fluid.  
He placed it in front of me on the table and Vader asked me: "Drink this, Nomi, it will help you. You have to keep your strength for your children."  
Was there genuine concern in his voice? If so, then it was certainly not me, to whom he was concerned but only the so ardently desired Dark Jedi.  
Obediently, I drank the medicine and felt the nausea slowly subside.  
"Now, you shouldn't have any more problems with eating."

After eating under his and Barakhkha's supervision, I was taken to Vader's bedroom to rest.  
It was a large bare room containing only a bed, endowed with various medical equipment. The bed was almost like a coffin, but the most amazing was a holographic image of Luke hovering over the bed.  
Vader must have noticed my amazement. "You are surprised. Well, as you will have noticed, it is no longer possible for me to breathe independently. This construction allows me to spend at least the night without this prison of my armor."  
I couldn't keep my curiosity under control.  
"Why is there a hologram of Commander Skywalker? He's your enemy."  
"Luke Skywalker isn't my enemy."  
A long pause ensued, until he spoke again. "Since you won't leave this fortress anyway, I can tell you my secret. My name was Anakin Skywalker. Luke is my son."  
"So you didn't lie to Luke back then in Cloud City."  
Astonished, the Dark Lord looked at me. "What do you know about this? Ah, I understand. Darklighter - somehow the name ringed a bell. The Darklighter are just like Luke from Tatooine. Wasn't there a Biggs Darklighter? Yes, now I remember. Biggs Darklighter was responsible for the mutiny on the Rand Ecliptic. Back then the entire crew defected to the Rebellion. Are you related to him?"  
"What does it matter? Biggs was killed in action in the Death Star trench. Shot down by a TIE fighter. Luke told me about, he is an old childhood friend of mine and has therefore brought me the news of my cousin's death in person. Since that moment I hated the Empire."

Vader replied: "The Empire and I will be able to live with your hatred. But you have even more cause to hate me, since I will take your children. I am also the TIE fighter pilot who killed your cousin."  
There was a long silence between us, interrupted only by Vader's regular mechanical breathing. Then the Dark Lord gave Barakhkha the order to bring me back to my cell. I was chained up in the cell again and I thought about what I could do. I wanted to live and be happy with my children. They shouldn't know suffering or death, as their mother had to. I didn't know how to protect them from the fate that Vader has determined them.

It had to be around noon when Barakhkha brought me a tray of food. At least I was spared this time by Vader's presence. However, the Noghri remained in my cell to monitor that I eat.  
He was totally devoted to Vader and this devotion wasn't evoked by fear. I wondered why the Noghri was this faithful to Vader. Whether the Noghris, as well as the Wookiees, have the concept of a life debt? But how should Vader have earned such a life debt?  
The Noghri and his behavior made me terribly nervous. Why couldn't he leave me alone?  
Finally he left and I had the opportunity to ponder about my situation.  
At first I thought it would be possible to persuade Barakhkha to help me escape. But now I believed that it would be senseless. All I could hope for was that they would miss me and send a search party to find me and free me.  
I tried to sleep a bit, I thought it would be best for me and the babies to rest a little.

After a short, restless sleep, I was awakened by Barakhkha, who said to me that Vader wanted to see me. I snarled at the Noghri as he released my shackles: "I don't want to either see or speak the murderer of my cousin! He should leave me alone!"  
The Noghri backed away from me. Apparently he hadn't expected such a blaze of anger.  
"I will tell Lord Vader your request."  
With these words he sneaked silently out of my cell without shackling me again. Finally I was able to move freely in my prison. I hastily examined it for any means of escape, but in vain. Desperate I slumped on my hard bed, where I was shortly afterwards scared by Vader's mechanical breaths.  
"You don't want to see your cousin's murderer? May I remind you that we are in war? You call me a murderer? By what right? How many have you killed in combat, Nomi Darklighter? Two? Twenty? Or even thousands? For the Empire you are a murderess and your cousin deserved his death over Yavin 4. You see it depends at the point of view. I will never leave you in peace as long as you live. Your anger feeds the dark side of the Force in your unborn children. You lay the seed of evil in them with your hatred and your anger. You're easing my task in educating them to become Dark Jedi."  
In my mind's eye, the images of the Battle of Hoth, the Battle of Gall, many other battles and fights, and most of all those of the Star Destroyer I destroyed, passed by. Vader was right, I killed thousands.  
I could imagine his smile behind the impenetrable mask when he read my mind through the Force.  
"You see, Nomi, it is only a small step from war heroine to murderess. In this regard we're equal. Your children will be a small compensation for the Empire's losses."

I couldn't hold back the thought that came to me, I had to utter it. "Reparation for the Empire, or rather a means to fulfill your own wishes and hopes? Luke told me that you offered him in Cloud City to end with combined strength the deadly conflict and bring order to the galaxy. Luke resisted your temptations and wanted rather die than follow you. You must be good in hiding your true ambitions before the Emperor, otherwise you would be already dead."

Vader was visibly astonished at my knowledge. "Luke must have great confidence in you when he told you about this. I wonder if he's the father of your triplets. It's more than likely with this strength in the Force."  
I couldn't prevent the anger boiling up inside me. With my bare fists I wanted to attack the Dark Lord, but Barakhkha was faster and threw me on the bed.  
"Let her, you know she poses no danger to me. This weak woman is no match for the dark side of the Force. As I told you, Nomi, with your anger, you only help me with my future task. And rest assured someday my son will come to me and the Emperor will be destroyed."  
With these words he left me and the Noghri shackled me again.

Now I was alone and could calmly think about what I had heard. I had to learn to master my temper and not to lose control of my emotions. I shouldn't be responsible for putting the seeds of evil in my children. I promised my little ones that I wouldn't let me provoke by Vader. I would never let that happen to them any harm even if it costs my life.

It had to be evening, because Barakhkha appeared in my cell with a tray full of food. Since my prison was windowless, I had no clue what time of day was. Thanks the Force, Vader spared me this time with his presence. The Noghri's company barely disturbed me because he just silently stood by the cell door and watched me.  
The food was very good and I gobbled everything with ravenous appetite. Finally, I wanted to keep my strength for the case there would be an opportunity to escape. It wouldn't do me any good if I could then barely stand.

Barakhkha had taken the empty tray and left me. The first of presumably many days of my imprisonment in the hands of the Dark Lord of the Sith, was drawing to a close.  
I hoped that I would sleep undisturbed.


	18. Bast Castle

Again I was awakened by Vader's heavy mechanical breaths.  
Did he want to make that a habit? He held out a wonderful, emerald dress to me.  
"I wish that you dress in this gown. Barakhkha, open her shackles."  
After the Noghri had followed the order he left me with Vader.

Slowly I begun to undress my uniform and went over to the tiny refresher in my cell to take a shower. It was a wonderful feeling as the pleasantly warm water ran down my body. In the shower, for the first time, I consciously perceived the little bulge of my belly. How could I have missed this other unmistakable sign of my pregnancy?  
When I had dried myself and dressed, the Dark Lord was back in my cell.

"Come, it's time for you to eat." Vader turned and I followed him, the Noghri close behind me, in the great hall where the table was set for me.  
On the table, besides the food and water, was the crystal flask with the blood-red medicine that had helped me so well against my nausea yesterday. In order not to be a pathetic sight for the Sith again, I drank it right away.  
Vader seemed to be pleased with my behavior and my appetite. No wonder, the more I ate, the stronger and healthier would be his raw material to create the Dark Jedi.

Vader had been watching me all the time in silence while eating, only his mechanical breaths broke the silence in unnervingly regularity.  
When I finished eating, he suddenly spoke to me. "When the Executor captured your freighter, you were alone on board. I wonder, where is your mate? It's surprising that he was so irresponsible to let you fly alone in your condition."  
I felt tears in my eyes when I answered him. "Dash...is...dead."  
"That is unfortunate. With his help I might have been able to create a whole army of Dark Jedi."  
If he wanted to make the anger in me flare again with this remark, he had miscalculated this time. I had worked really hard on myself so as not to lose control.  
I replied calmly: "If Dash had been with me, you wouldn't have gotten us. We would either have escaped or Dash would have killed me first, and with me the unborn and then he would have killed himself. You would have lost in any case."  
"That may be, but as you already said, Dash Rendar is dead. He can't help you anymore. Barakhkha!“  
"Yes, Mylord?"  
"Bring her back in her cell, but you don't need to shackle her. She's a smart woman, and has recognized that there is no point to risk an escape attempt."  
"Yes, Mylord." He waves at me. "Come."

Now I was back in my cell and made those entries in my diary, hoping that they would not be destroyed after my death and my children could read them. They should know that their mother loved them and their father very much. No matter what the Imps and especially Vader would one day tell them. Because Vader must be aware that the triplets can only be seduced to the dark side of the Force through a lie.

I was curious if I was carrying Dash's sons or daughters. But I would rather have bitten off my tongue instead of asking Vader, who certainly knew.  
"You will give birth to three sons, Nomi."  
I startled. Was I so distracted that I hadn't noticed Vader's approach? It would have been nice if he had failed to read my most intimate thoughts.  
"Yes, I admit, it's a bad habit of mine. But it is also a very useful talent that I have often used to my advantage. Sad that you aren't Force sensitive. I think you should now where you know that you'll have three sons think about the names you'll give them."

I had to collect myself. At least I was allowed to give my children their names.  
"I'm waiting. Decide quickly, before I change my mind."  
Slowly, I found suitable names. Near Lord Vader it was difficult for me to think straight.  
"I wish my first-born to be named after his father Dash, the second-born should be named Biggs, after my cousin who was killed during the Battle of Yavin, and the last-born should be named Obi-Wan in honor of the great Jedi."  
Oh, oh, I guess I had stung the middle of a Piranha Beetles' nest.  
Vader rebuked me with an angry voice. "I can tolerate you wanting to name two of your children after a mercenary and a rebel. But the third name is totally unacceptable. How dare you to utter this cursed name in my house? You are lucky that I need your children, otherwise I would have killed you now."  
Fearfully, I backed away from this outburst of rage, Vader had clenched his right hand into a fist and I felt as if an invisible hand squeezed my throat. When Vader said the last sentence, ceased the feeling of being strangled. Gasping, I fell to the ground.  
"Let that be a warning to you, Nomi Darklighter. Provoke me not again, maybe I can no longer control myself then. So, how do you name your third son?"  
With difficulty I managed to answer: "You've won, he shall be called Corran."  
"Yes, this name I can accept. Your children will be named Dash, Biggs and Corran. I'll leave you now."  
With heavy steps, the Dark Lord left my cell, but not without making sure that Barakhkha chained me again. The privilege of freedom of movement within my prison I had forfeited by my imprudence.

When I gave them their names, it had become clear to me that what was growing in me were little beings with an already existing consciousness. I gently stroked my belly and spoke to my unborn children. "Hello, you three. I hope you weren't scared too much. I hope you'll like your names. Hey, you don't need to kick me. Was that you, Dash? Or Biggs? Or maybe your brother Corran kicked me. You seem to have inherited the temperament from your father and me."

Under all this talk I must have fallen asleep, because I was awaken by Barakhkha's voice.  
"Time to eat."  
At least Vader didn't let me starve to punish me.  
After I ate I told my triplets how the future would look like if I had the chance to escape from here and to see them grow up.

Under all those sweet dreams it had apparently turned into evening. The Noghri was in my cell with dinner, but I wasn't hungry after today's experiences and my throat was still aching.  
I asked Barakhkha fervently not to tell Vader about my refusal to eat and the miracle happened. He answered me: "I won't say anything to my master. It wasn't right how he treated you."  
Then he helped me to remove the food as if I had eaten. Suddenly there was hope in me to escape with the Noghri's help.

In the night I had a dream. I saw a shimmering figure clad in a cowl. The figure begun to speak. "I am Obi-Wan Kenobi and I am honored that you wanted to name one of your children after me. Listen to me, we've not much time. Your friends from the Alliance are already searching for you. In two standard days Vader will travel to the Endor system to supervise the construction of the new Death Star. Wedge, Tarik and your brother Gavin will find you. Hang on and don't provoke Vader again, because that would be your certain death."

Even when it was only a dream it gave me hope. I must see to it that Vader doesn't know that I've new hope for escaping his clutches. If I don't succeed everything is lost.


	19. Bast Castle

The morning had dawned and again I was awakened by Vader in the usual way.  
This time he held out a dress that made me burst into tears seeing it.  
"I wish that you dress this gown." He looks at me. "Why are you crying? There's no reason to cry."  
Between sobs I asked him: "Where did you get that gown? It looks just like the bridal gown Dash bought for our upcoming wedding. How can you be so cruel?"

Then something completely unexpected happened. "You must have loved Dash Rendar very much. I'll let you bring another dress. Barakhkha, go and get the black shimmer silk gown.  
It once belonged to my wife, Nomi. You may not believe it, but I once loved and was loved by someone. But this was in another life. When I became what I am now, when Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader through Obi-Wan Kenobi's fault, my beloved wife turned away from me. With Obi-Wan's help, she fled from me. I never saw her again.  
Now you might understand why I feel such hatred for Obi-Wan. It is his fault that I am crippled and can only survive with the help of machines. If he had not been, I could live happy with my wife and son Luke. He thought he could teach me as well as a Jedi Master.  
That was a serious mistake. Patience has never been my strong point, everything went too slow to me. I began experimenting with the dark side of the Force. When Obi-Wan noticed, he wanted to bring me back to the in his opinion right way. But I had progressed too far down the dark path, for me there was no way back.  
You don't know the power of the dark side, Nomi.  
Kenobi challenged me to a duel with lightsabers. We fought on the edge of a crater that was filled with glowing lava. Obi-Wan was stronger than me and drove me back. In the end, I lost my balance and fell into the crater. Kenobi thought I was dead, picked up the lightsaber I had lost and walked away. So he could not see that I managed to free my burned body from the hell mouth.  
Painstaking I crawled up the crater rim. But what was released from the blazing inferno was no longer Anakin Skywalker - I became Darth Vader. Everything that was still good in me was wiped out.  
But you must be hungry. I'll leave you now, so you can change your clothes. I'll pick you up in fifteen standard minutes. Barakhkha, loosen her shackles."

After this Vader and the Noghri left me. Why had the Dark Lord told me this?  
Somehow I had the feeling that there was still something good in Vader.  
Now I could understand his reaction to my choice of name for my third son in some way.

When Vader came back he looked at me amazed. "How do you manage to erect a blockade in your mind when you aren't a Jedi? Ah, I see your unborn triplets are helping you to block my attempts to read your mind. At this early stage they are already extremely adept at handling the Force. Simply amazing and, above all, promising. They will surely become very powerful Dark Jedi. I am looking forward to start their training."

I could have been dancing for joy. I didn't need to worry about Vader getting behind my secrets. Thanks the Force, my triplets could protect me from him.  
"Come, it's time to eat."

After the meal, I was taken back to my cell, but not shackled. Apparently Vader was this time pleased with my behavior. I had still the hope that my dream where Obi-Wan spoke about a rescue would become true.  
The rest of the day was eventless and was only interrupted by lunch and dinner. Vader didn't show up for the rest of the day. Apparently he had more important things to do than bother his prisoner with his presence. Since Barakhkha had not betrayed me to Vader the day before for my refusing to eat, I had almost a respect for him. I hoped that nothing would happen to him when my friends and my brother would free me. The Noghri would be a great asset for the Alliance.


	20. Bast Castle

As usual, I was awakened by Vader's mechanical breaths.  
"You should stand up and take a shower."  
Then he left my cell immediately. After I took the shower and dressed he came back accompanied by Barakhkha.  
"It's time for you to eat."  
Again I followed Vader obediently in the direction of the great hall, as always followed by the Noghri. But this time we weren't alone in the sparsely illuminated passageways. To my dismay, I noticed a whole Stormtrooper squadron. The chances of an escape sunk to zero. The table was laid in the usual way, but lacked today the crystal bottle with the blood-red medicine. I looked questioning at the Dark Lord.  
"You don't need the medicine anymore, Nomi. You will have no more problems now. The time of morning sickness is over."  
How could he know this? But he was right, finally, even without medicine, my stomach didn't rebel against food. After I had eaten, Vader explained to me what the Stormtrooper squad meant. And what I became to hear didn't sound good to me.  
"You're probably wondering about the Stormtroopers. It's just a precaution. I am compelled to go on the Emperor's order to another star system to monitor an important project personally. The Emperor is extremely dissatisfied with the progress of the work. He thinks that my presence is beneficial. Since Barakhkha is insufficient as a guard for you, I have ordered a Stormtrooper squad. They have order to kill you when you attempt to escape or when there is an attempt to free you."  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
"But when they kill me my triplets, your desired Dark Jedi, will also die. What will become of your ambitious plans?"  
Vader replied: "Better I take this loss, than to risk that you, even if it is unlikely escape and your children serve the Rebellion. If I can't get your children, then nobody should get them."

I was firmly convinced that Vader wouldn't do anything that endangers the triplets and now this. The Dark Lord was really unpredictable and full of surprises. That didn't look good. Would Wedge, Gavin and Tarik manage to stand up to the Stormtrooper squadron? And above all, would they be fast enough to free me before the Stormtroopers would execute Vader's order to kill me?

After the meal, I was taken back to my cell, where two Stormtrooper were standing guard now. When I was alone in my cell I thought about the possibilities I had to protect myself and my children. The result was disillusioning - there were none. Any attempt to reach me in time would be doomed to failure. The two Stormtroopers at my door would always be faster than my brother and my friends. As soon as they would hear the sound of battle, they would come in my cell and kill me.

Outside I heard a shuttle start. I thought to know where Vader went, because of the dream I had. He was on his way to Endor, the construction yard of the new Death Star.  
I was about to fall asleep when Barakhkha appeared in my cell.  
"Tell me about the Rebellion and why you fight against the Empire," he asked.  
I gladly followed this request, hoping to win him for our cause.  
When I had finished describing the atrocities committed by the Empire, a very thoughtful Noghri sat in front of me.  
After a seemingly endless period of silence, he looked at me with his glowing eyes and said simply: "I want to join the Alliance. For too long, I and my people have served the Empire. The New Order of the Emperor is wrong, I've realized that through your tales. I see it in your eyes that you haven't lied to me. I'll leave you alone now because I have to think about what I've heard." Then he left me.

It seemed as if I had found a new ally for the Alliance.  
Barakhkha intended to go to his home planet Honoghr after a successful escape. He wanted to enlighten his fellow tribesmen about the true interests of the Empire. If it would possible the Noghri to become our allies, we would have a large number of brave warriors in our ranks.

The rest of the day was very quiet. The silence was only interrupted by the Stormtroopers' heavy footfalls at the change of guard.

When Barakhkha brought me my lunch and later my dinner, he was very silent. Apparently he was still thinking about my tales.  
Just before I went to sleep he came back in my cell.  
"I will think of an escape plan. It's important to the entire galaxy that you and your children don't remain in the hands of the Empire."


	21. Bast Castle

It was nice to be not awakened by Vader in the usual way.  
Barakhkha stood in front of me with breakfast and meowed friendly. "Good morning, Nomi. Did you sleep well? How are the triplets? Can you already feel them?"  
Since Vader left and I told him why we were fighting the Empire, the Noghri was always friendly to me.  
"Yes, Barakhkha, I have slept well for the first time in a long time. The triplets are fine, I think. Sometimes I feel them, it's like they're doing boxing matches in my belly. They are really three very spirited babies. When they're born I have my hands full." I laughed.

When I was eating we heard the explosions of thermal detonators, blaster shots and screams mixed with commands. My rescuers were apparently on their way. Of course, what we heard was also heard by the Stormtroopers posted outside my door. They stormed, following the order given by Vader, with drawn blasters in my cell. What happened then took place in a split second.  
When the stormtroopers fired at me Barakhkha jumped up and in the line of fire. With his body he protected me and my unborn children from the salvo.  
Mortally wounded, he sank to the floor.  
Behind the stormtroopers my brother Gavin suddenly appeared and shot them down.  
I had never been so pleased at the sight of my brother, as at this moment.

But the moment of joy was brief, Barakhkha was dying and we could do nothing for him.  
I crouched down on the ground and held the dying Noghri in my arms. He had sacrificed his life for me and my children.  
With his dying breath he said: "I am glad that you and your children will live."  
Blood oozed from his mouth, his body trembled then he was dead.  
With him died the hope to have found new allies for the Alliance.

Then Gavin tore me out of my torpor. "Hey, sis, you had a shuttle ordered?"  
"It's about time that you care for your sister and your nephews."  
Gavin made a pretty stupid face.  
"Don't look so surprised. Yes, you become uncle. I'm pregnant with Dash's triplets. That's why I had all these problems, but I'll tell you that another time. Let's get out of here."  
Gavin went to the spot where Barakhkha lay, picked up the corpse and carried it out.

Outside stood to my surprise, the entire Rogue Squadron. They had done a good job. No member of the stormtrooper squad had survived. It was good to see the familiar faces of Wedge and the others.  
Wedge hugged me and said: "We missed you a lot, Nomi. Come home."

On the landing pad of Bast Castle, the X-wings were clustered around a Lambda-class shuttle.  
In this shuttle Gavin carried his sad burden, because I wanted to give Barakhkha the honor of a space burial.  
After boarding, I doffed the bloodstained dress first. Gavin gave me a new pilot's gear, which he had brought as a precaution. Shortly after we were ascending in orbit to pay our last respect to the Noghri.

The ceremony was simple and at the end I pushed the button that opened the airlock.  
Barakhkha's corpse slowly fell back to the planet surface of Vjun and burned in the atmosphere.  
He deserved this funeral, it was the least we could do for him.  
Who knows what would have happened to his corpse if we had left him at Bast Castle.  
After a little while we were in hyperspace on our way to the Home One, Admiral Ackbar's flagship.


	22. Home One

Without any incident we reached finally the Mon Calamari Cruiser Home One.

Admiral Ackbar and General Madine were delighted about the Imperial Shuttle we brought.  
They thought it might someday be of use to us.  
I was very happy to have escaped Vader. Now I could prepare in peace for the birth of my children.  
Gavin was looking forward to his three nephews, though he was a little confused that they would not be normal kids. Such didn't happen before in our family. Gavin commented: "By all stars, Nomi, tell me that you're joking. Have you ever thought about how to raise little Jedi? And now you even get three of them. Wasn't one child enough?"  
"Damn, Gavin, it happened and I'm glad that it happened. The triplets will always remind me of Dash. You're still wet behind the ears and you don't know what love is."  
Gavin tried to respond but I was in full flow.  
"I know what you want to say, but your little affairs can't be called love. If a relationship of you is lasting longer than one standard week we can speak again about this topic."  
Gavin went out of my quarters angrily, slamming the door shut.  
I don't wanted to hurt my brother, but I did it. Why was I'm doing this?

It wasn't long after Gavin left when Wedge entered my room. I hoped that he would have good news for me. I wanted to fly my X-wing again as soon as possible. 2-1B said that I can do this when Admiral Ackbar agrees.  
"I've good news for you, Nomi. Admiral Ackbar believes that you're stable enough to fly. You pose no longer a danger for yourself or others."  
Actually, Wedge could have left now, but he stopped at the door and turned.  
"What I wanted to ask you, Nomi." He hesitated. "Have you ever thought of bonding to another man? Look, it won't be easy to raise those special children alone. There's still danger that Vader seeks you out again. Who will protect you?"  
I wondered what he was driving at.  
"We get along with each other very well, Nomi."  
I looked at him and wondered if he wanted to make a marriage proposal. I never thought that Wedge could have other feelings than friendly ones for me.  
"I love you, Nomi and I want to ask you if you want to marry me. I will be a good father for your children. It will not matter to me that I am not their biological father. And who knows, sometimes we can have a child together. And who knows, eventually we can have a child together."  
Now it was out. Good old Wedge, how could I tell him without hurting him?  
"Wedge, I don't want to hurt you, but I can't marry you."  
He looked at me disappointed. "Why not?"  
I had to be diplomatic now.  
"You are a good and reliable friend. In all the months in which we shared the rough and the smooth, you have become very valuable to me. But I can't love you, as I have loved Dash and still love. If I became your wife under these circumstances, we would both not be happy. You would always be aware that I would never completely belong to you. Dash would always stand between us. I don't think you could live with this burden in the long term. Let's continue to be friends, Wedge. I am sure, one day you'll find a woman who will give you the love I can't give you."  
"No matter what happens, Nomi, I'll always be there for you and your children." I saw that he was sad when he left my quarters.

It was reassuring for me to have in Wedge still a trusted friend despite his disappointment. This danger hung like a threatening shadow over me and my unborn children.


	23. Rogue Squadron

Finally I was allowed to fly again.  
It was great to finally be back in the cockpit of an X-wing after the torturous captivity and see the myriad stars. I didn't want to think about in this happy moment that Vader could lurk somewhere to capture me and my unborn children.  
Even the triplets seemed to enjoy the flight, they acted contrary to otherwise quietly in my belly. Certainly they felt how happy their mother was and didn't want to disturb her in this happiness. However, their uncle Gavin was not so considerate.  
"Hey, Nomi, sis, don't dream. This is a combat exercise and not a family outing. If there had been a TIE behind you, the triplets and you were space dust now."  
Then I heard Wedge's voice via comm.  
"Gavin's right, Nomi. Close the lines. Attack formation. S-foils in attack position. Stay sharp. Target in 0,35."

Now I had to concentrate, otherwise I get to hear at the review a proper lecture by Wedge. Over the display ran the information of my R2-unit Fuzzy. Everything is fine.  
There were already the drone ships. They were programmed to act like TIE fighters flown by Imperial bucket heads.  
"Rogue 5, close the lines and switch over to combat speed!"  
"Copy that, Commander Antilles."  
Damn, why was Wedge snapping at me like that?  
"Rogue 4, swoop for the TIE at your starboard side, Gavin. Rogue 5, cover him."  
The drones were really well programmed this time. With pain and misery, Gavin managed to destroy his assigned target. Suddenly another drone showed up. I was unable to destroy it.  
Wedge's voice over the comlink was strident as he told me: "In combat your wingman would be dead by now, Rogue 5. You are the only ones who totally failed in this exercise. Especially you, Nomi. I think you should practice some hours in the simulator. Let's go home, Rogues."

I couldn't understand why Wedge was this mean. I wondered if it was my refusal that caused him to act like this.

After we landed on Home One, Wedge approached me.  
"Nomi..."  
I didn't let him speak.  
"Why did you bully me all day today? What's the point of that? Yesterday I thought that everything's alright, that you understand and accept my decision."  
Wedge was taken aback.  
"It is hard for me but I accept your decision, Nomi. You should actually know me and know that only out of concern for you I'm acting like this. My behavior has nothing to do with yesterday's events. Understand me, I'm afraid for you. I don't want to lose you, Nomi. It's a long time you flew the last. You need more practice. As your commander I could order you to do this, but I ask you as a friend. Do the simulator practices or your next combat could be your last. You know what I mean when saying this."  
Oh, I knew too well what he meant.

After dinner I went back to my quarters. There I pondered about Wedge's behavior. What he said was right, I was out of practice. I was too well aware that not only my life depended on my fighting skills but my comrades' lives as well. I decided to make the simulator practices as Wedge asked me to do.


	24. Home One

One night I woke up when a shape stood at my bed whispering my name. How did he get in here? This voice. No, it couldn't be. Dash was dead.  
A ghost? Or someone who made a cheap trick?  
Again the whisper. "Forgive me, Nomi."  
Slowly I sat up. "Dash?"  
"Yes, Nomi. Please forgive me. I didn't want to hurt you."

It wasn't a ghost. Dash stood in the flesh in front of me.  
After I recovered from the shock to some extent the whole built-up sadness and anger discharged and I slapped Dash right in his face.  
"Do you scumbag know what you did to me with your faked death? What if I had killed myself out of sheer grief? Did you ever thought about this? You took the easy way out, Dash Rendar."  
Dash looked at me calmly and replied straightforward to my outburst.  
"I know that it is unforgivable what I did to you. I don't know what came over me. As we flew into the rubble, I thought that would be a good opportunity to make a graceful exit. I asked Leebo if I had not done well and if anyone would miss me. He pointed out that there is a certain small X-wing pilot who would miss me for sure. But then I simply didn't dare to return to you. You shouldn't have to live with a failure who was responsible for eight deaths. I wanted that you remember me as a hero."  
Against my will tears welled in my eyes.  
"Oh, Dash, you aren't a failure. It wasn't your fault what happened near Kothlis. Nobody could have done anything. You didn't miss. It was a new weapon developed by the Empire which couldn't defeated with conventional weapons."  
Dash looked at me in disbelieve. "Is this true?"  
"Yes, Dash, it's true."

Slowly, his eyes slid down my body and when he noticed the bulge of my belly, he looked at me in surprise.  
"You're pregnant, Nomi?"  
I nodded my head.  
"By all stars, it's the best present you can give me. I'm the happiest man of the whole galaxy."  
"Yes, Dash, it's already the 4th month."  
Dash approached me slowly, hugged me carefully and tried to kiss me.  
I pushed him back.  
"Damn, Dash, not this way! Let me go! You can't come into my life and disappear from it, as it suits you!"  
He was completely perplexed by my outburst.  
"But I love you, Nomi."  
I snapped: "Oh yes, I haven't noticed much of that in recent times! Where have you been when I needed you the most? While I have been anxious as Vader's prisoner for my life and that of my triplets, you were hanging around in the galaxy!"  
Dash dared to object: "They're also my children."  
I was now in full swing.  
"Sorry, I forgot that you were not completely uninvolved. You had your pleasure and I have the burden now!"  
Slowly, Dash got pretty loud too.  
"Damn, Nomi, if I remember right, you had also your pleasure in the night after our engagement on Hoth!"  
Suddenly he hesitated.  
"You were Vader's prisoner?"  
"Yes, he wanted the triplets."  
"Since when did the Dark Lord bother with children?"  
Now I had to tell him.  
"Dash, our children won't be like every other children. I don't know why, but Vader said that there were sometimes Force sensitive children born in the Rendar family. The triplets are extreme strong in the Force, so he was able to find them. He wanted to raise them to Dark Jedi."  
Dash looked thoughtful at me.  
"So it's all true what my father told me. My grandfather was a Jedi. He was executed during the Great Purge. I spare you the cruel details. Since my father and I aren't Force sensitive we thought that this curse was taken from our family."  
I was about to answer that it is indeed a curse when I heard a voice in my mind.  
'You must learn patience and to control your aggressions. Otherwise, you serve the dark side of the Force, which can then more easily take possession of your children. The gift to understand the Force and use it for good isn't a curse, Nomi. Don't reject what you don't know.'  
I calmed down.  
"Please leave me alone, Dash. I have to think about us."  
Dash turned away from me and went to the door. He turned around again.  
"Yes, think. If you have come to a conclusion, you can find me in Wedge's quarters."  
Then he left.

Now I was alone and tried to sort out my opposing feelings. My heart languished for Dash's love and tenderness, while my senses warned me that Dash is reckless and irresponsible. I was completely at a loss.

After breakfast there wasn't any time to think, since I had to start the simulator training as I promised Wedge. It was rough. I hated the simulator. Even the smallest mistake was punished. And I made a lot mistakes this time. What was wrong with me? I wasn't this bad even when I thought that Dash would be dead. My restlessness had also spread to the babies, not only that I had to endure the vibrations of the simulator, they also kicked me constantly.  
And then also the mockery of Gavin and Wedge about my failure.  
At these day someone must have given order to torture me. I needed a conclusion about where do we go from here.

"Hey, Nomi!" I rolled my eyes when Wedge entered my quarters without knocking. I wondered what he want from me. Soon after he proved to be a true friend of mine. He has helped me in my decision.  
After he had just burst into my quarters, he didn't let me have a word.  
"Please don't get upset right now, Nomi and just listen to me, even if it's hard for you. I talked to Dash and he told me everything that happened between you both in the night. In a way, I can understand your behavior. He really hurt you a lot on a whim. But remember, despite everything, he loves you very much even if he can't always show it. It isn't his fault that he became the man he's now. And remember that your children need a father. How will you manage to raise the children alone?"  
I tried to answer but he closed my mouth with his index finger.  
"Shhh, don't say anything. Just listen to me. Dash isn't as reckless and irresponsible as he pretends to be. This morning he asked General Madine for acceptance in the Alliance. His request has been accepted, he is now just like you a member of the Alliance. You know how much he loved his independence, I think there can't be any greater proof of his love for you.  
I ask you as your joint friend, don't wave Dash away when he comes to you. He would perish by a renewed rejection of you."  
I knew how difficult it must have been for Wedge to speak this words, but they helped a lot with my decision.

When Wedge was about to leave me I followed him.  
"Wait, Wedge, I come with you."  
In Wedge's quarters, Dash sat at a table in an X-Wing pilot gear, his face hidden in his hands.  
Slowly I went to him and my heart was pounding like mad.  
"Hello, Dash. You wanted me to come to you when I made my decision."  
He looked at me questioningly.  
"I made my decision."  
Hesitant he asked me: "And your decision is?"  
"Yes, I want to make my life's journey together with you. Despite what you did to me I love you. By joining the Alliance, you have proven to me that you are ready to take responsibility for others."  
That was too much for Dash, weeping he embraced and kissed me, so that I could hardly breathe.  
"Hey, be careful."  
"Of course, darling. Can you already feel the little ones?"  
"Oh yes, one of them is kicking me just now."  
Carefully and tenderly, Dash put his hand on my belly. I had never seen him so happy. I was pretty sure that he would be a good father.

I hadn't noticed that Wedge had left the room to not disturb us, until he came in again.  
"Hello, you two, may I disturb your family idyll?"  
Dash answered him laughing: "Of course, because those are still your quarters."  
"Nomi, you must in the simulator again. Admiral Ackbar wants to test your abilities personally. He had a particularly difficult simulation programmed for you. Don't make me look ridiculous."  
I laughed at Wedge.  
"No, I certainly will not. I'm back perfectly fine. Do you want to come with me Dash?"  
"No, I'd rather stay here, I don't want to distract you."  
"As you wish, Dash."  
I was halfway out the door.  
"Hey, Nomi - may the Force be with you."  
"It will work out."

Admiral Ackbar was waiting for me at the simulator.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter, this test is intended to determine whether your skills meet the requirements of Rogue Squadron."  
What was he talking about? I was one of the best, well, at least before I got into the whole mess. Without a word I climbed into the simulator.  
It was really a difficult simulation program. Wedge hadn't exaggerated. It was very hard.  
But this time I didn't have so miserably failed, as in the morning. I had my usual hit rate of 100% and 0 flight errors again.  
When I climbed out of the simulator, Admiral Ackbar, Dash and Wedge stood in front of it and smiled at me. I had passed the test.  
Admiral Ackbar said to me: "Congratulations, Lieutenant Darklighter. You are now again a full member of Rogue Squadron."  
Wedge embraced me and said: "Welcome home, Nomi."  
And Dash? Dash said nothing, but looked at me proudly.

I was about to leave with Wedge and Dash when Admiral Ackbar stopped me.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter, just a moment, please."  
I stopped.  
"I would like to ask you to keep silent about the information you have received about the construction of the new Death Star. We want to spread this information not until the High Command has developed an attack strategy based on the captured computer data. That's all. Dismissed, Lieutenant Darklighter."

Outside, Dash and Wedge were waiting for me.  
"Are you coming, Nomi? We want to celebrate your passed test."  
"Yes gladly. But only if you guys pay."

It was a very nice evening with both of them. I was very happy that Dash was alive and joined the Alliance.


	25. Home One

The next day Dash moved in my quarters together with his droid Leebo. It was cramped now and not very comfortable, but it worked somehow.  
But what went really on my nerves was Dash's solicitude. He tended to treat me like a raw Krayt Dragon egg. Whenever I wanted to lift or carry something he stood at my side and took it away from me.  
I wasn't this fragile as he thought. If I was allowed to fly an X-wing why shouldn't I do other work?

In the daily routine of the Rogue Squadron the usual course of action has been restored.  
Since two weeks there was one combat exercise after the other. And if it wasn't this then we had to maintain our X-wings. One day I had an argument with Dash, when he saw me worm my way through my X-wing's service access.  
"Nomi!" He yelled at me.  
I startled and bumped my head at the ceiling.  
"Are you crazy? What are you doing? Why isn't Leebo doing this for you? I have never known such an unreasonable woman like you. I almost think you don't want the children and does everything to lose them."  
I couldn't believe that he really said something like this to me.  
"Are you crazy, Dash? Half of my life I maintained space ships. Why should I let Leebo doing this? Every pilot is responsible for his ship. And to accuse me that I don't want the children is a piece of impudence. I'm looking forward to them as you do."  
He looked at me with pleading eyes.  
"I'm sorry, Nomi. I don't know what's going on with me."  
But I knew all too well. Dash missed his freedom. It wasn't easy to convert an independent smuggler in a freedom fighter of the Alliance.

Shortly after a mission briefing lead by Admiral Ackbar and General Madine took place.  
The upcoming mission wouldn't be easy. Our spies managed to discover the location of a secret Imperial mine complex. Rogue Squadron was tasked to destroy the complex since its ore was vital for the construction of weapons and other war material.  
The mine itself wasn't heavily secured. The problem was how to approach the mine complex.  
It was surrounded by a mined asteroid belt.  
Admiral Ackbar addressed us: "It is very important that this mission is successfully. This mine complex is the main source for the basic component of durasteel. If it is destroyed the Empire will have massive supply problems. Commander Antilles, it won't be an easy task for your pilots."  
Wedge stood up and said: "That I am aware, Admiral, that's why I ask that Lieutenant Darklighter be exempted of this mission. As you know, is the Lieutenant pregnant in her 4th month and in my opinion unable to manage such dangerous flight."  
Now it was enough for me, when I heard the next overprotective man speaking in my behalf.  
I tried to stay calm.  
"Admiral Ackbar, Commander Antilles, I don't want to be exempted of this mission. I feel me able to fulfill my duties in the Rogue Squadron. My pregnancy isn't a sickness. I flew often through the asteroid belt of Hoth and I trust myself to fly through a mined asteroid belt."  
Now Dash intervened also. I rolled my eyes.  
"Please be reasonable, Nomi. Think about our children you're carrying."  
"I thought about our children when I made up my decision to participate in this mission, Dash.  
They should grow up in peace without having to worry about to be pressed to serve in the Stormtrooper ranks or persecuted for their special abilities. Please, let me fly."  
Then Admiral Ackbar spoke again. "When Lieutenant Darklighter wishes, she can take part in the mission. You will leave tomorrow. The coordinates will be stored in your navcomputer today. The meeting is over. May the Force be with you."

After we left the meeting room Dash and Wedge talked insistently to me.  
"We don't understand you, Nomi. Why are you acting like this?"  
"If you don't think about yourself, at least think of our children."  
I answered them calmly. "As I already said to to Admiral Ackbar and General Madine I thought about our children when I made up my decision. Because I don't want our children and the children of others to live in constant fear, I must help to destroy the Empire. And I can't do this if I sit down in a chair and knit baby clothes. Better to die trying to change something than to stand idly by while more and more star systems come under the Empire's reign. If we can't stop it, I don't want my children to grow up in a world of hatred and oppression."  
I saw how the two men slowly started to understand my decision.  
Dash finally said: "Forgive me, Nomi. You're right, but you must also understand me. I'm worried about you and I don't want to lose you. I couldn't live without you."


	26. Rogue Squadron

The next morning we took off to our mission to destroy the Imperial mine complex.  
Our first obstacle to fulfill the task was the mined asteroid belt. The most of us has already gained experience in the Hoth asteroid belt.  
When we reached the outskirts of the asteroid belt Wedge said: "When we traverse the asteroid belt is everybody on his own. Watch out for mines drifting between the asteroids and destroy them. Keep in mind that your shields can't protect you when you come between two of those boulders. Let's go, Rogues. Keep your chins up and arm your laser cannons. We meet again at the other side. May the Force be with us."

It was far more difficult than expected.  
Where Rogue 4 just got through, suddenly the path was blocked. Then I heard Rogue 6 via comm: "Nomi, pull up and watch your starboard side. Mine approaching."  
Immediately I pulled up and tried to avoid the mine and get it at the same time in my target device. Being in horror about this maneuver Fuzzy whistled itself through the entire scale.  
But my efforts were successful.  
"Thank you, Moolaan,"  
"You're welcome, Nomi. You can buy me a drink later."  
Oh dear, there already were the next chunks hurtling towards me or was it me who was hurtling towards them? I couldn't let myself be distracted, but had to fully concentrate. The rest of the way I flew like being in a trance. With the sureness of a sleepwalker I dodged the boulders and destroyed the mines that came towards me.

The flight through the asteroid belt had lasted twenty standard minutes, but all of us it seemed like an eternity.  
As we gathered at the end of the dangerous passage, we found to our relief that all had passed through without significant damage. Over comm we heard Wedge's voice: "Good job, guys. The rest should be a breeze, according to our intel."  
But we should discover soon that this was a vital error. In front of us we saw the huge Imperial mine complex. It was a gigantic sight.  
"We are now flying in the ventilation shaft, from there we go directly to the main energy source of the complex. The access to the energy core is protected by strong shields and we have little space to maneuver in the ventilation shaft. It could be a rough flight, but I know that the Rogue Squadron is used to it. Ok, guys, let's do it."

We flew in the shaft and I wondered why we met no resistance. The crew of the mine complex couldn't be totally blind. There weren't any defensive measures from the Imperials. I had a bad feeling about this. It was easy to destroy the shields around the energy core and to reach the core itself. For my taste it was too easy.  
We fired several proton torpedoes that triggered a chain reaction in the energy core.  
Now we had to retreat quickly. The whole complex was about to blow up.  
We flew through the ventilation shaft back. And there they were.  
The Super Star Destroyer Executor, the Interdictor Cruiser Revenge and three TIE fighter squadrons were waiting for us.

Suddenly I heard Darth Vader's voice in my head.  
'You can't escape me that easily, Nomi Darklighter. I told you that I'll find you everywhere. It's useless to resist. If you come freely to me, we will spare your comrades.'  
In this moment exploded the mine complex in a blazing fireball.  
"I never surrender, I rather die and my children with me."  
'If this is your destiny. You have no chance. You're hopelessly outnumbered.'  
Vader was right even if we would manage to stand against the TIE fighters and the Executor there were still the Interdictor Cruiser. The cruiser would prevent us with its artificial gravity well to jump to hyperspace. It was a trap, a trap to get me and my unborn triplets. Therefore it was this easy to enter the complex and to destroy it.  
I activated my comm. "Vader's on the Executor. He wants me and the triplets. If I surrender he'll let you go."

For a moment, which seemed like an eternity, there was deathly silence, interrupted only by the static of the comm. How would my comrades decide?  
Then suddenly Wedge's voice. "Switch over to combat frequency, Nomi."  
I switched over and answered him. "Yes, Wedge?"  
"I'm speaking now in behalf of all comrades. We agreed that we disallow that you surrender to Vader. There's too much at stake. We'll fight even if it means death for all of us. Rogues doesn't let each other down, Nomi. Ok, guys, S-foils in attack position let's protect Nomi."  
I made my X-wing again ready for combat. I wouldn't surrender. I would rather die than being again Vader's prisoner.

We were barely in attack position when the first attack wave came. They advanced massive against us that at first we had to restrict ourselves to wild evasive maneuvers.  
Rogue 8 was attacked by two TIEs the same time, he made it not in spite of frantic efforts to shake off his pursuers. Neither of us could help him because each was attacked by at least two or three TIEs. I would never forget his death cry when he was struck by enemy laser fire.  
Rogue 12 and 10 burned up next to me in a fireball. They had tried to protect me from the attack of a TIE that came towards me. At the last moment, I managed to dodge the debris and the TIE. At last I had him in my sight, he was supposed to pay for killing my friends. Strike!  
One less, but what did it matter in the face of superior numbers?  
More and more attack waves came towards us.

In the thick of combat I heard Vader's voice again. This time my children didn't succeed in shielding me from him.  
'Surrender and your friends will survive, Nomi. It's useless to resist. You can't win. If you don't surrender you all will die.'  
"No, I'll never surrender! You won't make my children to slaves of the dark side of the Force."  
'Your decision is unreasonable.'  
Next to me, Rogue 13 was hit, he spun away, pursued by a TIE that vaped him to space dust.

It was horrible, there were humans and non-humans dying because of me.  
'Yes, Nomi, you're right, they're dying because of you. But you can end this easily. Come to me, Nomi. It's the only way to help your friends.'  
I thought about Dash who was fighting along his comrades.  
'Dash Rendar is here? Yes, he's here. I can feel your fear. Your fear that he could die. But even he can't help you. Come to me, it is the only way.'

I found the path Vader had pointed out to me, logical and headed for the Executor at full throttle.  
He was right, it was the only way to save my friends and Dash.  
Suddenly I heard Dash's scream.  
"No! Nomi, veer. You've no chance against the Super Star Destroyer!"  
"Let me go, Dash. I must go to him. It's the only chance to save all of you."  
"What are you talking about? Nomi, veer!"  
"No, Dash. It's your only chance to escape and stay alive. Too many of you already died because of me."  
"Nomi, be reasonable. Vader's manipulating you. You have such a strong will, resist his insinuations. I know you can do it. Think about our children and that you have sworn to protect them from Vader."  
"I'll try it, Dash."  
"Not trying, Nomi. Do it!"  
And I did it. Suddenly I was able to think clear and veered my X-wing shortly before I was in the range of the Executor's tractor beam.  
Via comm I heard Wedge's voice. "Well done, Dash. I discovered where the artificial gravity well ends. The coordinates are 6,87. Follow me, guys we should leave the party."

Rogue 20 didn't make it, just before he reached the coordinates he was hit by a laser beam fired from the Executor. Us survivors managed to jump into hyperspace. Of 20 X-wing pilots, 15 were returning. It was all my fault.


	27. Home One

After I landed in the main hangar of the Home One I left totally exhausted my X-wing.  
I could hardly stand. What I was undergone was too much for me. When they saw how I collapsed, Dash, Wedge and Gavin run to me. When I regained conscious I lay on the floor and Dash was bend over me and looked worried at me.  
"Here you are again. You scared the hell out of us. It was all a bit much for you."  
"A bit much? Five good fighters who were even my friends died because of me, Dash. I'm feeling guilty and I don't know how I can live with this guilt. I shouldn't have come along for this mission."  
Dash looked at me lovingly.  
"Nomi, don't be so upset, think of our children. I know all too well how you feel now. After Kothlis I felt the same way."  
I remembered very well how desperate he was. But in his case it was proven that it wasn't his fault.  
"Oh, Dash, with you it was something completely different. If I hadn't insisted to take part in the mission..."  
Wedge interrupted me.  
"Stop it now, Nomi. It wasn't your fault. Nobody could know that the Empire has set up a trap. If you hadn't been there, it would have gone just as wrong. Vader wasn't just there because of you and the triplets. Stop the self-blame. When you told us about Vader's ultimatum, all members of Rogue Squadron voted how we deal with the case. Without exception, all were in favor of not to buy our freedom with your extradition. We were aware that this decision could mean certain death for many, but we couldn't do otherwise. There was too much at stake. If you were fallen in Vader's hands, there would be more than five victims sooner or later. You must always remember this. Don't let the sacrifice of Thak, Oolka, Ukas, Dave, and Borthas be in vain."  
Gavin had said nothing so far. He knelt beside me and tears ran down his face.  
"Hey, brother, why are you crying? There's no reason."  
"It's nothing. Something got in my eyes."  
Something got in his eyes? Did he think I was stupid? Then a thought struck me - Oolka. The Twi'lek girl. She was Gavin's newest squeeze. Now I understood why he was crying. It was the first time that my little brother had developed genuine feelings for a female being. And now his first love was dead. Full of joy he had told me about her and that it is really serious this time.  
Carefully I sat up.  
"Please be so kind and accompany me to our quarters, Dash. If I lie here any longer, I get pneumonia."  
I wanted to get up, but Dash was faster, just picked me up and carried me to our quarters, where he laid me gently on the bed.  
"Rest, my love, it was a hard day for you. I have to go with the others to Admiral Ackbar and General Madine for the debriefing. Leebo will take care of you until I'm back."  
I wanted to get up, but he gently pushed me back into the pillows.  
"No, you stay here. You've already done enough for today, Nomi. I'll excuse you to Ackbar and Madine. They will understand that you need some rest in your condition."  
Then he kissed me tenderly.  
"I'm back as soon as possible, Nomi. Try to sleep."

Then I was alone with Leebo as my only company. I was unable to sleep. The events of the battle haunted me. When I closed my eyes I saw still the horrible images and I heard Vader's voice in my mind.  
I was finally able to find sleep. When Dash came back I awoke with a start.  
"It's all good, Nomi. Don't be afraid and continue to sleep. Nothing can harm you here."  
When I heard his words I lost my nerves totally and begun to sob. Dash held me in his arms and tried to comfort me.  
"Please calm down, Nomi. I'm with you and I won't allow that you and our children will be harmed. You were always so strong. I'm pretty sure, that at a not so distant day the Empire will fall. Then we can live in freedom. But until then you must be strong and hang on. I need you, Nomi and also the Alliance needs you. Try to sleep."

Obediently I lay down again, but I shouldn't find sleep for a long time. While Dash lay peacefully beside me, the same pictures and thoughts kept crossing my mind.


	28. Home One

When I woke up it was already midday. I wondered why Dash didn't wake me up. At this day a combat exercise was scheduled. I was pretty sure to be in trouble.

"Hello, Nomi, you slept well? I bring you Dewback stew."  
I looked at him angrily.  
"Why didn't you wake me up? I can't just miss a combat exercise."  
He grinned at me.  
"That's okay. You have leave for a standard week, but you must every day train one standard hour in the simulator. Wedge will work out some nice simulation programs for you. He too thinks that after everything you've been through you need recovery. But now eat your stew."

When I finished my meal I took a shower and dressed. After I dressed I went over to Dash who looked lovingly at me.  
"You become more beautiful every day, Nomi."  
I responded laughing: "You rather mean misshapen. Now in the 5th month I already feel as if I look like a barrel. How is this supposed to continue? Soon I will not fit in my X-Wing anymore."  
"I see you always with loving eyes, Nomi. Besides, when the children are born, you will be as petite as you used to be. But now come with me, I have a surprise for you. Wedge just told me about."  
He took me by the hand and just pulled me with him. What was waiting for me was really a surprise. When we entered the mess hall of the Home One, Leia, Chewie, Lando and Han were sitting there.

They had actually managed to find and rescue Han. Laughing I ran to Leia.  
"Leia, you've actually done it. I'm so happy for you. But where is Luke?"  
Leia hugged me smiling and then held me at arm's length to look at me closer.  
"You are pregnant, Nomi. When will you give birth?"  
"I'm already in the 5th month, Leia. It will be Force sensitive triplets."  
Leia frowned.  
"Force sensitive triplets? Oh, you and Luke..."  
I interrupted her.  
"No, Leia. Luke has nothing to do with it, the proud father of this miracle is there."  
Then she noticed Dash.  
"I hardly believe my eyes, if that isn't Dash Rendar. Luke and I believed you died over Coruscant. I see that was a mistaking and I'm glad for Nomi. Luke has, after he had helped to free Han, separated from us to visit an old friend. He will surely come to us soon."

After that told Han, Leia and Lando alternating their experiences. Even Chewie took part in the conversation.  
I was very happy that everything turned out all right for Han and Leia. Pensive, I sat at the table and listened to the conversations, as a question of Leia let me wince.  
"How have you been, Nomi? What did you experience?"  
"Please don't be angry, Leia, but I can't and don't want to talk about it. It was too terrible. I don't want to burden you."  
And then I began to cry. Dash came to me and held me in his arms until I calmed down a little. Leia looked at us both quizzically.  
"Can't you tell me what happened to Nomi, Dash?"  
Dash shook his head.  
"I'm sorry, Princess. All who know what happened had to promise Nomi to speak only with Admiral Ackbar and General Madine about this. She has been through a lot. Maybe one day she will be able to talk about it."  
Leia nodded.  
"I can understand that. I felt the same way after my imprisonment on the Death Star. It took me a long time to process the experiences."  
Dash stood up.  
"Excuse me, Princess, but I think it's better to bring Nomi to our quarters."  
"Yes, of course, Dash, you should go."

Once in our quarters Dash asked me: "Why didn't you tell the princess, Nomi?"  
"I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to reopen old sores. Leia was once Vader's prisoner and she was less lucky than me. She told me that he tortured her."

At that moment, Wedge burst into our quarters. I wondered if he would ever learn to knock on the door.  
"Hey, Nomi, time for your simulator training."  
Dash looked worried at me.  
"Do you think you can do it, honey? I don't want you to overexert yourself."  
I wondered why all were so worried about me.  
"Yes, I can do it, don't worry. I'm coming, Wedge, I'm really looking forward to your nice simulation programs."

So much for nice simulation programs. These programs were the most insidious and meanest that were ever designed. I was in a cold sweat. After this hour I was totally exhausted. Back in the quarters, I fell tired on the bed and sank into a deep dreamless sleep.


	29. Home One

The next morning a kick of one of the triplets woke me up.  
"Good morning, Darling."  
Dash was already dressed and stood with breakfast at my bed.  
"Wedge's nice simulation programs seem to do you good. Apparently you had finally a quiet night without nightmares."  
I sat up and Dash put the tray on the bed next to me. It looked like he wanted to feed a whole Stormtrooper squadron.  
"Dash, if I eat all of this, I'll look like a Hutt."  
Dash laughed.  
"You would be the loveliest Hutt, I've ever seen. Besides, you aren't supposed to eat it all alone. I will keep you company."  
I understood now why there was this big portion of Corellian stew, despite he knew that I can't stand this stuff.

After breakfast I took a shower and dressed. Then I walked together with Dash to the hangar bay. When I saw the X-wings and my comrades from the Rogue Squadron, I wanted to get in my fighter and fly with them. But I had to stay. Dash and the others were to fly to the single parts of the fleet scattered throughout the galaxy, telling them that we would gather near Sullust.  
It should be the first time that the individual resistance cells unite into a large force.  
Dash said goodbye to me with a kiss.  
"Take care, Nomi."  
"You too, Dash and may the Force be with you."  
Then they climbed into their fighters and flew away in all directions.

Now I was alone in my quarters except of Leebo's company. Then it knocked on my door.  
It was Leia.  
"Hello, Nomi. May I come in?"  
I smiled at her. Finally a silver lining.  
"Of course, you're always welcome, Leia. If you only knew how hard it is to bear Leebo's humor. Never buy a droid that is programmed by a bad comedian."  
Then we both laughed while Leebo offended muttering to himself, and retired into the kitchen.  
"I wanted to ask how you and the triplets are doing."  
"I'm fine and the triplets apparently too. They are really three very lively little guys. How to deal with them once they are born is a mystery to me. Dash and I will have our hands full."  
Leia looked at me thoughtfully.  
"I ask me how you know that the triplets are Force sensitive. 2-1B isn't programmed to determine this. Please, Nomi, tell me how do you know."  
Leia can be damned stubborn, in this case we're very much alike. So I preferred to give in soon. Barely audible, I whispered the name we both hated.  
"Vader. He told me when I was his prisoner."  
Leia looked at me in horror.  
"Now I can understand that you don't want to talk about your experiences. And I thought Vader would be only interested in Luke. Now I understand. For him, it would probably be easier to shape the children according to his wishes. Converting Luke to the dark side may be harder for him, since he already once resisted. Through his Jedi training Luke is very strong in the Force and can oppose Vader with considerable resistance, if it comes to a renewed confrontation. Nomi, you must be strong for the sake of your children. Don't forget that you're going to give birth to three potential Jedi. In them, both the light side and the dark side of the Force will be present. How will you manage, that they choose the light side and withstand the temptations of the dark side? You aren't a Jedi, Nomi and Dash isn't a Jedi, even though he has Jedi ancestors. You will need help."  
She was right.  
"Maybe Luke can help. You said that he seems to be a full-fledged Jedi now. He has demonstrated his remarkable abilities in rescuing Han and in building his own lightsaber. When will he come back?"  
Leia sighed.  
"If I'd know that. But enough of sad thoughts, what do you think of a game Dejarik?"

We played, but I couldn't concentrate. Through the conversation with Leia all my fears were back. Too many things were in my mind. As long as Vader lives, my children would never be safe. And what if he could convert Luke to the dark side?  
Leia soon said goodbye to me and for me it was time to go to the simulator.  
The simulation programs were really rough, but at least they made me spend a quiet night.  
Maybe that was the purpose of the programs Wedge had worked out for me.


	30. Home One

It were already six standard days since Dash left for his mission.  
Meanwhile my time was filled with conversations with Leia, Han and Chewie and simulator training. Finally I got an encrypted message by Dash. He was on his way back and promised me a surprise. I was curious what it would be this time.

When he stood in our quarters he beamed of pride.  
"Come to hangar bay 2, Nomi there's an old friend waiting for you."  
I wondered who this old friend could be. Together we went to the hangar bay.  
And there she was - the Aquarius.  
For a moment I was speechless with amazement.  
"Where have you found her?"  
"At a merchant for used space ships on Ord Mantell. He was a damn tough bargainer. But eventually we were able to agree on an acceptable price. It was still too expensive, but your joy is worth it. I know how you hang on this old pile of junk."  
"And where you had all the credits come from?"  
Dash grinned at me.  
"Won in a game of Sabacc. But don't ask so much. You should delight in have her back."  
I was happy, I had thought I would never see the Aquarius again.

Wedge, Tarik and Gavin arrived.  
"Hey, Nomi, Dash. Hurry up you two. We must go to hangar bay 1. Mon Mothma comes and all combat units must fall in to greet her."  
Finally I was to see the leader of the Alliance, from whom I had heard so much.  
We of the Rogue Squadron, the elite fighters of the Alliance, were in the front row. However, I felt a bit uncomfortable there because my pregnancy had to catch everyone's eye immediately. A place in the back row would have been much better to me.  
Shortly after Mon Mothma's shuttle landed in the hangar bay. We stood in attention.  
I was amazed that the great leader turned out to be a relatively small, red-haired, friendly middle-aged woman. She had nothing warlike about her.  
Accompanied by General Madine, she walked down the ramp of the shuttle and walked along the length of our ranks.  
When she had reached me, she stopped in surprise.  
"You are pregnant and member of the Rogue Squadron? Exceptional. What's your name?"  
I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me, so embarrassing was the general attention to me.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter, Ma'am."  
The former senator looked friendly at me.  
"Which month are you, Lieutenant Darklighter?"  
"In the 5th month. I'm expecting triplets, Ma'am."  
Mon Mothma frowned.  
"In the 5th month and you're still flying in combat? Really remarkable."  
General Madine chimed in.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter is one of our best pilots. She wants to support us as long as possible in our fight. Our medi droid has assured us that she will be fit for use until the 7th month of pregnancy. We wouldn't like to do without her."  
Mon Mothma nodded.  
"If she is such an excellent fighter, I can fully understand that. We really need every available pilot for the upcoming offensive. I hope that we will be victorious and your children can grow up in peace, Lieutenant Darklighter. May the Force be with you."  
Before I could respond, she went on with General Madine.

Mon Mothma had withdrawn with the high command to discuss the attack plan.  
We were still uncertain about where the decisive battle might take place. Dash and Wedge thought we would learn more when we'll arrive at Sullust and joined the other units.  
I doubted it would be a good idea to bring all the Alliance forces together in one place.

Dash entered our quarters with interesting news.  
"Imagine, darling, Mon Mothma has promoted Lando and Han to generals. Straight from smuggler to general. If that's not a stellar career."  
Laughing I asked him: "Are you jealous, Dash? What is a promotion to a general?? From me you will soon promoted to father of three."  
Dash looked at me mischievously.  
"Hey, Nomi, how about we finally legalize our relationship? I would love to see it when our children bear my name."  
I wanted to let him dangle a bit more.  
"I do not know, I like the name Darklighter more. I think I shouldn't marry you until the children are born."  
With mock dismay Dash replied: "You can't possibly be serious, after all what I've done for you."  
I smiled at my fiance.  
"No, I'm not serious, Dash. I promise to marry you before the birth of the triplets. The name Rendar shouldn't die out. Darklighters are like grains of sand in the Jundland wastes, my uncle Huff has already seen to it, it doesn't depend on my three children."

Then we went to bed since we would reach Sullust the next morning. The next combat was in store for us.


	31. Sullust

After several hyperspace jumps we finally reached Sullust.  
We were prepared for a longer standby time until the other units would arrive. Many Alliance members came from distant star systems and were forced to avoid a direct route to Sullust because of security reasons. The risk that we would be discovered by the Empire prematurely was great. All were on high alert for this case. Every day, hours-long combat exercises were scheduled. We were challenged to the utmost of our capacity.  
Luke had still not arrived and we were worried about him.

After waiting a standard month in Sullust's orbit the last units finally arrived.  
Oddly enough, the Imps hadn't become aware of this large concentration of warships. Perhaps the Force was really with us this time.

I was at the beginning of the 7th month and fit only with difficulty in my pilot's gear as well as in my X-wing.  
Dash was always very concerned about me. He kept asking me if that wouldn't be too much for me with these constant combat exercises. But Wedge was careful not to strain me too much. Although I didn't see any point in it. The Imps would be without regards for a pregnant X-wing pilot flying in combat.

One day during the standby time I had an argument with Dash and Wedge.  
Wedge didn't want to take me to the combat exercise because Dash asked him for. When he called me, I went to Wedge's quarters. Dash and Wedge sat at a table and looked at me worriedly. Straightforwardly Wedge came to the point.  
"I noticed that you look very pale and tired lately. You need some rest. Therefore you will not take part in today's combat training. Take a break. Dash is also of the opinion ..."  
Wedge didn't get any further as I interrupted him.  
"Where do you both get the right to constantly decide about me? I'm an adult and will soon be a mother, if you haven't noticed. How should I survive without combat training? Do you want me to die? I need the combat exercises, the simulator is no substitute."  
Dash looked at me pleadingly.  
"I'm afraid for you, Nomi."  
But I didn't want to hear.  
"Now you don't need to worry about me, but if I fly into combat without sufficient training.  
What use would I have for the Alliance if I won't participate in the possibly decisive battle.  
You heard it yourself, what Mon Mothma said to me when she arrived at the Home One, you have had been standing right next to me. The Alliance needs every available pilot. I can't just sit and watch while others fight and die. When Biggs was killed in action at Yavin 4, I vowed to help the galaxy to shake off the Imperial yoke. I'll keep that oath, no matter what it costs. You can't stop me, Dash."  
In Dash's face, his conflicting feelings were reflected.  
"I don't want to stop you, Nomi. You have to do what you think is right. I have to accept your decision."  
I saw that Wedge also had to fight hard to come to terms with my decision.  
"Well, if your decision is incontrovertible, then get ready for the combat exercise."

After the combat exercise, Dash and I went to our quarters, where I slumped completely exhausted on the bed. Dash looked worried at me.  
"Why are you looking at me this way, Dash? Is something wrong?"  
"Please don't be angry with me, Nomi but are you really sure that it's right what you're doing?  
You really shouldn't fly combat missions in your condition. I am terrified for you. What if the children are born premature by all the fuss? The hospital frigate is not equipped to keep early born babies alive."  
"I know what I'm doing. Trust me, Dash. We Darklighter women are stronger than it seems. My mother gave birth to me and my brother when she repaired the evaporators and two standard hours afterwards she just kept on doing the repair. If you don't believe me, ask Gavin he'll confirm it."  
At last Dash laughed.  
"I believe you, darling. Rarely have I met such stubborn woman like you. I surrender. Are all in your family like that?"  
I too could not help laughing.  
"The most of us, especially the female family members. But now don't stand around and finally go to bed. It's late and tomorrow we all have to go to the briefing. I have a feeling as if tomorrow is the crucial day."


	32. Sullust

All were gathered in the briefing room of Home One. It hummed like in an Alderaanian beehive.  
As Mon Mothma entered the room, the conversations fell silent. Calm and serious she stood before us. Then she began to speak.  
"The Emperor has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come. The data brought to us by the Bothan spies pinpoints the exact location of the Emperor's new battle station. We also know that the weapon systems of this Death Star are not yet operational. With the Imperial fleet spread throughout the galaxy in a vain effort to engage us, it is relatively unprotected. But most important of all, we've learned that the Emperor himself is personally overseeing the final stages of the construction of this Death Star."  
An astonished murmur went through the assembled crowd.  
Mon Mothma continued.  
"Many Bothans died to bring us this information. Admiral Ackbar, please."  
Dash who was sitting next to me flinched at the mention of the dead Bothans.

Admiral Ackbar stepped forward and explained at a hologram the structure of the new Death Star and how we should proceed. Then he gave General Madine the floor.  
"We have stolen a small Imperial shuttle..."  
Somehow I remembered that differently. We had taken the shuttle with us on our escape from Vjun. But no outsider should learn about my captivity at Bast Castle. And somehow the presence of an Imperial Lambda-class shuttle had to be explained.  
Lando would lead us pilots into battle while Han, Leia and Chewie should destroy the shield generator with a commando unit on Endor.  
The biggest surprise of the morning, however, was the sudden appearance of Luke. He also volunteered for the Endor mission.  
Something must have happened. He had matured and there was nothing left of the naive Tatooinian farm boy he once was.

As Dash and I greeted him later, he looked at us in amazement.  
"Hello, Dash, I thought you're dead. I am glad that it isn't so. I see you have found your way into the Alliance. And Nomi's pregnant. A lot has changed since I left."  
I smile him.  
"Yes, I'm pregnant, Luke. Meanwhile, I can't deny it anymore. I'm expecting Force sensitive triplets. I have so much to tell you, but I think it's better to wait until after the battle."  
Luke looked at me with a strange expression.  
"I know what you want to tell me, Nomi."  
I wondered if he has read my thoughts just like once Vader.  
"Yes, Nomi, excuse me, it will not happen again."  
Dash looked at us irritated.  
Luke quickly said good-bye to us since he had to go to the shuttle.  
"See you after the battle. May the Force be with you."  
"Yes, with you too, Luke."  
He waved us once more and then he went to the Imperial shuttle.

Through the main hangar bay sounded the announcements. All units should go to their fighters. To our surprise, we saw Lando enter the Millennium Falcon.  
We X-wing pilots went to our fighters, as it was intended that we should make the flight to the Endor system as escorts for the war ships and hospital frigates.  
When we left the main hangar bay, all spaceships and fighters jumped into hyperspace at the command of Admiral Ackbar.  
The offense of the Alliance had begun.


	33. Endor System

When we dropped out of hyperspace in the Endor system, we saw the huge, unfinished structure of the Emperor's new Death Star.  
It was a breathtaking sight.

We headed directly toward it, on the assumption that we had left the commando unit on Endor enough time to deactivate the deflector shield. We set our S-foils in attack position on Wedge's orders. All A-, B-, Y- and X-wings approached the Death Star.  
Suddenly Lando's call came over comm.  
"Break off the attack! The shield is still up."  
I didn't have an readout, my sensors couldn't detect anything, but I didn't question Lando's decision. Without thinking, I veered off.  
Suddenly a squadron of TIE fighters lunged at us. A fierce battle flared up.  
The TIEs were trying to get to the cruisers to attack them. Again came over the comm an order from Lando.  
"Accelerate to attack speed! Draw their fire away from the cruisers."  
I wondered all the time why the Star Destroyers that blocked us a possible escape route, didn't intervene.  
That just couldn't be true. Suddenly I heard Vader's voice in my head.  
'You're here, Nomi? I assure you, this day will be long remembered as it will see the end of your pathetic rebellion. My son is finally with me, he has voluntarily put himself in my hands.  
With combined strengths, the Emperor and I will succeed in converting him to the dark side of the bForce. When we have won and you have survived the battle, I'm going to get you and your children will be mine. Then there is no escape, Nomi Darklighter. But now I have more important things to do.'

Suddenly my cockpit was lit by a blazing explosion. Laser beams were fired from the Death Star and an Alliance cruiser was blown to dust by them. With horror we discovered that the Death Star was operational.  
Over comm I heard Admiral Ackbar's voice.  
"All craft prepare to retreat."  
I don't know why, but Lando contradicted Ackbar.  
"You won't get another chance at this, Admiral."  
Ackbar answered him.  
"We have no choice, General Calrissian. Our cruisers can't repel firepower of that magnitude."  
Lando responded him.  
"Han will have that shield down. "We've got to give him more time."  
We tried desperately to dodge the Death Star's deadly laser beams. Again a cruiser was hit by them and vanished in a fireball.  
The command, which then came from Lando, was like a call for suicide.  
"Move as close as you can and engage those Star Destroyers at point blank range. We might just take a few of them with us."  
But better fighting and die than being Vader's prisoner again. There were many bitter single combats around the Star Destroyers. There were many fierce single combats around the Star Destroyers. Our fight became more and more desperate.  
Then over comm came Admiral Ackbar's relieving words.  
"The shield is down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor."

I heaved to and followed the Falcon and several X-, A-, and Y-wings as they flew to the Death Star's unfinished surface structure. We entered under heavy defensive fire the shaft that lead to the main reactor, followed by several TIEs. There was little room to maneuver.  
On Lando's orders, we tried to lure some of the enemy fighters back to the surface and some actually fell for it.  
After we destroyed them, Admiral Ackbar ordered us to center our fire on the Super Star Destroyer Executor.  
We attacked the Executor and destroyed a deflector. An A-wing already hit by enemy fire raced into the now unprotected bridge. The Executor went out of control, crashed in the Death Star and exploded. In the meantime, Wedge and Lando had advanced to the reactor core and destroyed it.

Again Admiral Ackbar's voice.  
"Move the fleet away from the Death Star."  
I saw several small explosions running over the Death Star until it elapsed in a massive detonation. Wedge and Lando had flown out of the shaft shortly before.  
I hoped that Luke had escaped if it was true that he was on the Death Star.  
We really did it, but how many victims had this victory cost.  
Back on Home One, I was able to hug Dash, Gavin, Wedge and Tarik again. I was so happy that they all had survived this battle.  
The next day we would all gather on Endor and celebrate our victory.

Dash came back to our quarters and looked at me expectantly.  
"Wouldn't the victory celebration be a good opportunity to marry, Nomi? What do you mean?"  
This time I didn't let him wait long for my answer.  
"Yes, Dash I think we took our time with this enough. Han and Leia will be our witnesses. It will be a nice celebration."


	34. Endor

The next morning we flew with our X-wings to Endor.  
There we met the smallest allies of the Alliance - the Ewoks.  
Han, Leia and Chewie had a lot to tell about their mission on Endor.  
Almost everything would have gone awry, but with the help of the Ewoks, who had proven to be brave little warriors, they finally managed to blow up the shield generator.

Leia took me aside.  
"I have something to tell you, Nomi, which will surprise you. Luke is my twin brother, he told me before he left to face Vader. He was with him on the Death Star, but he is alive, I feel it."  
I wondered if Leia knows that Vader Luke's father and as a consequence also her father is. But with this problem she would have to cope alone.  
"This is really a big surprise, Leia. Speaking of family, Dash and I will marry today. We want to ask you and Han to be our witnesses."  
Leia looked at me smiling.  
"Of course, Nomi. It's about time that you marry. Long enough you are already together."

It was a beautiful wedding. In the light of the many bonfires we stood, with Han and Leia as witnesses, in front of Mon Mothma, who personally performed our wedding ceremony. Under the cheers of all those present, we sealed the marriage covenant with a long kiss.  
Luke joined us, coming from a clearing where he had burned Vader's armor on a pyre.  
Just before our wedding, he had told me what had happened on the Death Star.  
Anakin Skywalker, not Darth Vader, died to save his son's life. It was actually still good in him and when he died he became one with the Force.  
As I looked toward the edge of the forest, I could see dimly the shapes of three Force ghosts through the abilities of my unborn children.  
Luke also seemed to see them, because he smiled.

When I woke up the next morning I couldn't believe that Dash and I are married.  
The day before it had become very late, because the celebration of victory did not want to end. Dash lay calm and relaxed beside me, this way I hadn't seen him for a long time.  
The triplets in my womb, however, were not as calm and peaceful as their father. Sometimes I thought they had something against me as they kicked me again and again. If I complained to Dash about it, he just laughed.  
"They will definitely be good fighters. The three can't deny their parents."  
I hoped that Dash, Biggs and Corran would never have to fight. My greatest wish was that they grow up in peace and be happy.  
I was aware that this victory was only a beginning. Many battles would follow before the last remnants of the Empire were destroyed and the star systems suppressed by it were liberated.  
"Nomi, why do you make such a thoughtful face? You should be happy. Vader and the Emperor are dead. They are no longer a threat to our children."  
I hadn't realized that Dash had been watching me.  
"Didn't the three blighters let you sleep again?"  
He gently put his hand on my belly, and beamed with happiness as he felt the movements of the babies.  
"In two standard months you'll give birth to them, darling."  
I laughed.  
"Yes, but I will continue being deprived of my sleep. My only satisfaction is that I no longer have the problem alone. A baby can very stressful, how will it be with three?"  
Dash laughed too.  
"We'll make it together. Who takes on TIEs and Star Destroyer should be able to handle triplets."  
I became serious again.  
"You forget that the three are potential Jedi. They are already very strong in the Force. Back then on Vjun, they managed to build and maintain a blockade against Vader when he tried to probe my mind. If they hadn't succeeded, you would never have seen me again. Vader would have killed me for sure.  
"Hey, Nomi, that's past, we have to think about the future now."  
I sighed.  
"I do, Dash and the future scares me. What if we do something wrong while raising the triplets? We both are no Jedi. Luke wants to help us, but he also can not know everything and be with us all the time. What if we fail and one of our children falls for the dark side of the Force?"  
Dash gave me a tender kiss and looked at me confidently.  
"That will never happen, darling. You worry unnecessarily."  
I couldn't share Dash's optimism.

Luke, along with Leia, set off for the Imperial Outpost Bakura at night, despite the injuries he sustained by the Emperor's attack.  
An Imperial drone ship had a appeal for help from the Bakurans on board. They were attacked by a large force of the Ssi-ruuk. Luke told me he needed to leave and help as the fate of the entire galaxy depended on it. Leia wanted to try to extract Bakura from the Empire when they would be grateful that the Alliance helped them to defeat the enemy.  
I hoped they would succeed in their mission and come back healthy.

2-1B forbade me to fly an X-wing until I would gave birth.  
At my objection, he answered me: "Lieutenant Darklighter, if you don't want to lose your children, please follow my instructions. Another flight or even combat mission would inevitably trigger a premature birth."

Reluctantly, I followed his advice. Secretly I had to admit that it was good for me to do nothing. It was nice not to have to take part in combat exercises or sit in the simulator. Dash had leave from service in the Rogue Squadron to stay with me. We spent a lot of time together. To our shame, I had to confess that, despite the many years we had been together, we now really got to know each other. Our lives had been left us little time for quiet, joint conversations. On the now peaceful forest moon of Endor we could make up for it all.  
I was so happy with Dash and wished it was always like this.


	35. Endor

We were already a standard month on Endor and the Ewoks were very friendly to us. But their curiosity was somehow unnerving to me. Since I had nothing else to do, I had begun to learn a bit Ewokese.  
Strangely enough, these little furry non-humans were very interested in my pregnancy. As far as I understood them, it was unusual for them to see a female give birth to several children at once.

One morning, Dash came to me with a suggestion that I agreed to, albeit hesitantly.  
"I've been wondering if it's really good for the triplets to be born here on Endor. The tribe's shaman may be very good, but he has no experience in human midwifery. What if there are complications at birth? Although 2-1B is perfectly programmed, I don't want our children to feel the cold gripper arms of a droid as a first impression of the world they are born into. That's why I wanted to ask you if you fly with me to Corellia. Now that you are in the 8th month, the flight would be still possible. We could either take the Aquarius or the Outrider.  
Please agree, Nomi."  
Dash seemed really to worry about me. After careful consideration I came to the conclusion that he was right. It would be better if the triplets were born on a civilized planet. And why Dash's choice had fallen on Corellia, was understandable. He was born and raised on Coruscant, but his family was originally from Corellia. Dash, Biggs and Corran would become native Corellians with a Tatooinian mother and a Corellian father. If that's not a good combination.  
"I agree, if 2-1B agrees, Dash."  
Dash was visibly pleased with my quick approval, which he wasn't used to.  
"I've already asked him and he has confirmed to me that the journey is still possible without problems. We can leave today."  
"Then I'll pack and bring our stuff into the Outrider. I think it's better if we take your ship. We can pick up the Aquarius from here on occasion."

Of course, Dash didn't allow me to carry our few possessions into the ship.  
"How many times should I tell you that you shouldn't work so hard."  
He took the crate out of my hand and instructed Leebo to bring it to the Outrider. When everything was ready, we said goodbye to the Ewoks and the Alliance members who would stay on the forest moon.  
Then we entered the Outrider and started towards Corellia.


	36. Outrider

The flight went smoothly, but when we dropped out of hyperspace in the Corellia system, we had a nasty surprise.  
The planet Corellia was teeming with Imperial Star Destroyers and TIEs, and we got into trouble. They immediately opened fire on us.  
Dash cursed.  
"Damn, I thought they had already freed themselves from the Imps."  
But cursing didn't help us now. I got up cumbersome and headed for the gunner station. Dash's call stopped me.  
"Where are you going, Nomi?"  
Sometimes Dash could ask strange questions.  
"To the gunner station, of course. Someone has to operate the cannon while you're flying."  
He looked at me as if I had lost my mind.  
"Yes, somebody, but not you. Leebo can fly the Outrider and I go to the cannon."  
A hit rocked the freighter.  
"Damn, Dash, when we discuss here a long time, then it doesn't matter who does what."  
I headed again to the gunner station.  
The Outrider was shaken repeatedly by hits despite Dash's evasive maneuvers. It was difficult to keep my balance, but at last I was at my destination.  
Meanwhile, we were circled by half a dozen TIEs and had already had a significant loss of energy at the deflector shields. It was only a matter of time before they would fail.  
"Dash, I would be able to aim much better if you didn't fly like a wild space jockey!"  
Dash's reply came over the intercom.  
"Hey sweetie, if I didn't fly like that, your butt would have been grilled long ago."  
At last I had a TIE in my targeting device. Direct hit! One less.

Suddenly I felt a dragging pain in my womb. The pain ceased and I thought that I had only imagined this.  
From all sides TIEs pressed upon us. Again and again I fired at the fighters, but for every TIE I shot down, at least two new ones came. Luckily, the Star Destroyers have not yet participated in the fight. Our situation was desperate enough already.  
I hoped that we would be able to clear a path so we could make the jump to hyperspace.  
There came this dragging pain again.  
Now there was no doubt for me, it were contractions. The triplets wanted to be born in the middle of the battle.  
"Dash, get us out of here!"  
"I try that all the time!"  
Another contraction.  
"Then try it a little faster, please. I think the babies are coming."  
Dash asked doubtfully: "You're joking, right? It was supposed to be in a month."  
I answered him while I fired incessantly at the attacking TIEs.  
"I don't feel like jokes now, Dash. Get us out of here."  
There was finally a gap between the attackers, big enough to slip through with the Outrider and jump into hyperspace.  
"Hold on, sweetheart, we make the jump now."  
That was damn close, the shields would have failed with the next hit.

Instead on Corellia, the triplets were born in hyperspace with the help of their father and Leebo's. It was a difficult birth. For hours I was in labor before the first head was visible.  
But then everything went very fast. Thankfully, there were no complications.  
Dash had done everything so well, as if he's doing it every day.  
Although they were born one standard month too early, Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran were three healthy, strong babies.

I had fallen asleep from exhaustion and when I woke up, Dash sat next to me. He was very pride at the little wonders we created together.  
Dash stroked my face tenderly while he thoughtfully watched the triplets lying asleep in a container turned into a crib.  
"You can't imagine how happy you have made me by giving birth to these children, Nomi."  
"Don't you have to be in the cockpit, Dash?"  
"No, Leebo flies the Outrider. He knows the way to Nar Shaddaa."  
I looked at him in surprise.  
"We're flying to the Smuggler's Moon?"  
Dash nodded.  
"But why? Wouldn't it be better if we go back to Endor?"  
"It might be better, but the forest moon is too far away from here. Nar Shaddaa is faster to reach. Besides, there are some friends where we can stay with for a while. After this difficult birth you need rest."  
Then I must have fallen asleep again.

A standard hour later, I was awakened by the cries of the triplets. They vigorously demanded food. After nursing them, I put them back in their makeshift cot, where they fell asleep contentedly.  
Dash came to me.  
"Hello, Nomi, how are you and the little ones? I just wanted to let you know that we will reach Nar Shaddaa in two standard hours."  
I smiled at him.  
"As you can see, I and the babies are fine. I hope we don't have a welcoming committee in Nar Shaddaa like near Corellia."  
Dash kissed me.  
"I hope so, darling. But so far the smugglers have been able to keep the Empire from gaining a foothold there."


	37. Nar Shaddaa

The orbit around Nar Shaddaa was actually free of Imps and we were able to land safely at the Smuggler's Moon's spaceport.  
Dash had already contacted Mako Spince when we were approaching, who was to inform our friends. When we walked down the ramp of the Outrider with the children in their container bed, our friends were already in the landing bay.  
Shug Ninx came toward us beaming.  
"Nice to see you again. Welcome to Nar Shaddaa."  
When he saw the triplets in their container, he hesitated.  
"Hey, Dash, you stoop so low as to trade children? Then better get out of here. We don't want to have anything to do with anything like that here."  
Dash couldn't help laughing at the sudden fuss of his old friend.  
"Calm down, Shug. It's not like you think. Nomi and I got married on the forest moon after the Battle of Endor and what you consider to be merchandise are our triplets. Actually, they should have been born in a standard month on Corellia, but the Imps had something against our landing there. Well and the little ones suddenly were in a hurry to get to know this beautiful galaxy. They were born in hyperspace and I can assure you it was for both parents a heavy piece of work."

Talon Karrde was about to greet us when a tall black-haired woman came running up to us and flung her arms around Dash's neck. I didn't believe my eyes when she kissed him very hard on the mouth.  
"Dash, finally you're back. I've missed you so."  
That couldn't be true. I wondered who this woman was who simply threw herself at my husband.  
Dash stood there, as if someone had pulled the ground from under his feet. He finally found his tongue again.  
"Nomi, may I introduce you Salla Zend? She's an old friend of mine."  
Sarcastically, I said to him: "But this friendship doesn't look that old, Dash. I'm not as stupid as you think. Now I know where you were when I thought you dead. While I mourned for you, you enjoyed yourself here on Nar Shaddaa. Now I see what all your vows of love are worth."  
I turned on my heel and just wanted to get away.  
Dash tried to hold me back.  
"Nomi, please, let me explain."  
I shook off his hand angrily.  
"Don't touch me, Dash! There is nothing to explain for me! What I have seen is obvious! You cheated on me with her! That's the worst thing you could do to me! I never want to see you again."  
Talon intervened.  
"Please, Nomi, at least give him a chance to explain it to you. Don't judge rashly."  
"What should there be to explain? He cheated on me, only that matters."  
Dash looked at me pleadingly.  
"All right, I'll listen to what you have to say."  
Relieved that I wanted to listen to him, Dash began to speak.  
"After my hasty decision to leave your life, Leebo and I roamed the galaxy. At no place did we last a long time. It were damn lonely weeks and months. Finally we landed here on Nar Shaddaa. I was tired of constantly rove about the various star systems. Before, I had not minded to have only Leebo with me, but that was now, I realized, different. Even if you may not believe me, I missed you very much, Nomi."  
"Oh, and that's why you cheated on me with her."  
"Please, let me finish speaking, Nomi. One evening I couldn't stand the loneliness and went to a cantina. I had been drinking quite a bit when Salla joined me. Somehow I liked her and - oh damn, Nomi, I'm just a man. The many lonely days and nights - it just happened. The next morning, when I got sober again, I woke up next to Salla, horrified by what I had done. I left the room in a hurry and went to the spaceport to get my ship ready for takeoff.  
Through the night with Salla I realized that there is no substitute for you. I was hoping that you would never know about this short affair. Forgive me, Nomi also for the children's sake."

There was a long silence between us and I was feverishly thinking about how I should respond to his confession. Then I finally came to a decision.  
"I forgive you, Dash - but I can't forget that you cheated on me."  
Oh, those words had hit him hard. I saw him flinch as if struck by a whiplash.  
But he had hurt me too.  
Talon, Shug and Salla had silently followed the last part of our dispute.  
Then Talon took the container with our children and headed for the exit of the landing bay.  
"So, now that everything is settled between you two, we can go to me perhaps. You will live in my headquarters. Everything is already prepared."

When I unpacked everything in our room at Talon's headquarters, the babies again demanded their right.  
Dash had gone with Shug and Talon so I was alone with the little ones and Leebo. I was nursing Corran when there was a knock.  
Salla entered when called upon to do so. I wondered what this woman wanted from me. Hesitantly she approached.  
"Can I speak to you for a moment, Nomi?"  
I looked at her dismissively.  
"I don't know what we have to talk about."  
Salla looked at me pleadingly.  
"Please listen to me. You're upset for nothing. Between me and Dash, even if he is firmly convinced of the contrary, nothing happened. I don't know how he got the idea he has spend the night with me. He was too drunk. When we arrived at my apartment, he slumped on the bed and fell asleep immediately. This night was very disappointing for me, Nomi, but now I'm glad. If I had known that Dash is bound, I would had leave it."  
That was really interesting news.  
"And why didn't you say so, Salla?"  
She shrugged.  
"I didn't want to make him look like a fool to his friends. It would have been embarrassing for your husband."  
Embarrassing? That would have been more than embarrassing to him. As I knew Talon and Shug, they would have had mercilessly mocked him.  
Corran had fallen asleep while breastfeeding and I woke him with a gentle pat. I stood up and carried him across the room. After he burped I put him to bed where his brothers already were sleeping.

Salla was still waiting in the room.  
"I believe you, Salla. Thank you for telling me how it really was."  
You could see her relief over my words. She stepped at the container bed of the triplets and laughed softly.  
"As we can see here, your husband doesn't always fail. He got these three right."  
Still laughing, she left the room.  
I came to realize that some smugglers have a peculiar sense of humor. Then I decided to tell Dash the truth about his night of love with Salla Zend after he returned.

Dash coped very well with what I told him.  
"I'm glad that it's been that way. At least I can look you in the eyes again, darling. Salla Zend isn't my type anyway."


	38. Nar Shaddaa

We stayed already two standard months on Nar Shaddaa and I have recovered well from the difficult triplets birth.  
The little ones thrived really well. They had already gained weight and their eye color had changed from pale blue to brown. The first hair also begun to sprout already. They would get really pretty brown curls. I was amazed about it, since Dash and I both are red-haired.  
When I told Dash about my astonishment, he answered me: "That must be the legacy of their Jedi great-grandfather Halcyon Rendar. We still had some holographic footage of him. He was a handsome, tall warrior with brown eyes and brown curls. These images have to have originated in the time of the Clone Wars. As far as I know he has fought at that time along with Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi."  
This was interesting news that Dash's grandfather had fought in the Clone Wars along with Anakin Skywalker, who became through Kenobi's blame Darth Vader.  
Dash told me once that his grandfather had been executed by order of the Emperor at the time of the Great Purge. Had Vader something to do with it? I had to have certainty.  
"I know that the memory of it must be painful for you, but I need to know. How did your grandfather die?"  
It seemed for Dash really difficult to talk about these events. I almost felt sorry for asking.  
After he had gathered himself, he began hesitatingly to tell.  
"I can only tell you what my father told me about it. At that time, I was still too small to be aware of what was happening. Halcyon Rendar was a great Jedi who was respected by all. When Palpatine proclaimed himself Emperor, my grandfather feared the worse, or perhaps he foresaw the coming events through the Force. The first act of the Emperor after his seizure of power was the ban on the Jedi Order. But this wasn't enough for Palpatine and he ordered the extermination of all Jedi. The Great Purge began and the Emperor took advantage of the services of a renegade young Jedi who was once a pupil of Obi-Wan Kenobi. This former Jedi was now called Darth Vader. My grandfather tried to hide from the Emperor's henchmen, but in vain. You must know, Nomi, a Jedi can feel the presence of another Jedi in the Force. Halcyon Rendar was tracked down by Vader. He was taken to the Emperor in a special cage that was constructed to hold even a Jedi Master captive. Do you really want to know everything, Nomi?"  
I nodded and he continued.  
"The Emperor was known for his perverse pleasure in cruelty. Grandfather was brought in the great throne room at the Imperial Palace on Coruscant. He was still in the Jedi cage. His execution was to be a highlight to celebrate the birthday of the Emperor. My parents and my grandmother were forced to watch. Instead of killing my grandfather quickly and painlessly with a accurate blaster shot, the stormtroopers fired that way that the wounds were not fatal but very painful.  
As Halcyon didn't scream in pain, Palpatine ordered to torture him using a interrogation droid.  
But even that didn't bring the success desired by the Emperor.  
Vader stood next to the Emperor's throne all the time, watching. Suddenly he leaned toward him and whispered something in his ear. A broad grin appeared on the Emperor's face, that was eaten away by the use of the dark side of the Force.  
'Good my friend, try it.'  
Vader stepped close to the cage and addressed my grandfather, who was slumped.  
'Do you hear me, Halcyon? There is one way you can save yourself from death. Only in this way you can save yourself. If you only knew the power of the dark side, you wouldn't refuse. Join us and you will live and become rich and powerful.'  
My grandfather gathered all his remaining strength and replied: 'I will never belong to the dark side, I'll rather die. I am a Jedi and I will be a Jedi until my last breath.'  
The Emperor probably had enough of this game.  
'As you wish, Jedi.'  
At his command, the stormtroopers fired an aimed salvo at my grandfather and ended his agony. When the smoke of the shots had vanished, were only his clothes left which were torn apart by the shots and the torture. He had become one with the Force and disappeared."

Shocked by the just heard, I looked at Dash. Vader had betrayed his friend to the Emperor and participated in his murder. One question haunted me as I became aware of the full extent of what had happened.  
"But why you wanted, despite the murder at your grandfather serve the Empire and thus his murderers? You went to Carida to become a soldier of the Empire, I can't understand that, Dash."  
He nodded.  
"Yes, that must seem strange to you, Nomi. My father wanted the Rendar family to attract as little attention as possible in the future. When I told him I wanted to go to the Imperial Academy, he didn't put obstacles in my way. At that time I was still very naive and inexperienced in every way. I didn't realize how corrupt and morally rotten the whole system was. Until my brother's fatal accident, which resulted in our exile from Coruscant and my expulsion from the Academy, my father never talked to me about what happened to my grandfather back then. Had I known about it before, I would never have served the Empire. At that time I bitterly reproached my father for telling me the truth so late. Today I think differently, he wanted to protect me by not telling me the truth. In a way I'm glad I was thrown out of the academy. By my spirit of contradiction, I would certainly sooner or later had ended in an execution chamber. Then I would never have get to know you and these three children wouldn't have been born."  
Dash gently pulled me into his arms and kissed me lovingly.  
"I love you, Nomi and I will do everything in my power to make you happy."

We were interrupted by a com call. To our surprise, it was Luke.  
"Hello you two. I congratulate you on the birth of the triplets."  
Dash asked in astonishment: "Hey, Luke, how do you know that the children are already born? Nobody knows, except our friends here."  
Luke laughed.  
"You forget that you fathered potential Jedi, Dash. Two months ago I felt their presence in the Force stronger than usual. From this I could conclude that they had already been born. I think a bit too early, right? I would have contacted you earlier, but there were some issues with our Bakura mission. But in the end everything went quite well. But I'll tell you another time."  
But now I also wanted to speak.  
"Hello Luke. Many thanks for your congratulations. Yes, you're right, the triplets were actually born one month early. But they are alive and well and are developing really well.  
Now I have to look after the little ones. They will wake up soon and then they are hungry.  
See you then and may the Force be with you, Luke."  
"Yes, until then and may the Force be with you."  
Then the com connection was over. But Dash and I had no chance to continue where we had been interrupted since the triplets were now awake. They were hungry. While I was nursing the babies, Dash sat next to me and was pleased with the peaceful picture that presented itself to him. It took a while for me to breast feed the triplets and put them back in their bed.

Also for us it was time to go to bed. When Dash came to me, he surprised me with a request I hadn't expected. "I don't want the triplets to be our only children, Nomi. Please, darling, I would like to have another child. Perhaps this time it would be a daughter. I would be so happy about a little girl."  
I looked at him and didn't knew what to answer. To be honest, I also wanted a little girl but not this fast. The triplets were barely two months old at this time. I had no idea how I should explain it to Dash without such a bad dispute we had after the Battle of Hoth. I had to ponder about this.  
"Have you been listening to me at all, Nomi?"  
"Of course. I would also like to have another child with you."  
At these words Dash advanced with a certain sparkle in the eyes closer to my side of the bed.  
But what I said then was like an ice cold shower for him.  
"But I still think we should wait with children until the end of the war. As you may remember, the triplets weren't wanted by me, although I love them very much now and wouldn't want to miss them. Please understand me, Dash."  
Dash turned away from me disappointed, grabbed his bedding and moved to the couch in the next room.  
"Yes, I understand. You don't love me, Nomi. You probably just stayed with me because you were pregnant. Admit that you would have preferred to take Wedge when there weren't the triplets. A Commander of the Alliance is far better than a former mercenary and smuggler."  
Dash's childish jealousy drove me crazy.  
I followed him into the next room because I couldn't and wouldn't not put up with those suspicions.  
"You are unfair, Dash. I never meant to tell you, but you owe it to Wedge that we're married now. When you came back to me after your feigned death, I was determined to break up with you. Wedge would have taken me with your children as well. When we all thought you were dead, Wedge confessed to me that he loved me. He wanted to marry me and to be a good father to the triplets. It didn't matter to him that they weren't his own. But I refused his marriage proposal. I could never love Wedge the way I love you, Dash. We would both have not been happy in this marriage. Wedge found it very hard to accept my decision. When you came back and told him what had happened between us that night, he came to me the next morning. But instead of taking advantage of the situation, he became your intercessor. He convinced me that you are the right man for me. It must have meant a great sacrifice for him."  
Dash looked at me incredulously.  
"Is that really true, Nomi?"  
"Why should I lie to you, Dash?"  
"Forgive me, Nomi. I was unfair to you. But you also have to understand me, I have had to go through so much bad things in my life. With you and the children I finally found peace. It would be my greatest happiness if I had a daughter and seeing her grow up. I am afraid that it will be too late for another child after the war. The struggle may take years to go before the last remnants of the Empire disappear, Nomi."  
I nodded in agreement.  
"I think you could be right."  
I gently took him by the hand.  
"Come with me into the bedroom, Dash, what are you doing here alone on the couch?"  
Maybe Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran will have a little sister in nine standard months.


	39. Nar Shaddaa

The next morning Talon came grinning to our quarters.  
"Hi, Nomi and Dash. It was quite lively last night. Do you want to populate the entire galaxy with little Rendars?"  
I blushed. I hadn't thought that the walls in Karrde's headquarters were so thin. Dash just laughed.  
"Why not, Talon? No envy, old buddy. One day even you will find a companion and then you can copy us."  
Talon put him off.  
"Children and responsibility, no thanks, that's not for me. I'm more the type for pleasure without commitment."  
Dash responded: "I once thought just like you did, but then I got to know Nomi and everything changed for me. You'll feel the same way when the right woman crosses your path."  
At that moment, the babies cried for their breakfast.  
"I don't want to disturb your family idyll any longer."  
With these words Talon left our quarters. I could have been wrong, but somehow I thought I heard a slightly envious undertone.  
While I was nursing the babies I asked Dash: "Wouldn't this Salla Zend be an ideal companion for Talon?"  
He looked at me mischievously.  
"Maybe she would, but unfortunately Talon would be too late with his courtship. I think she and Shug are in love."  
I had to admit that I really didn't notice.

After feeding the triplets, we finally could eat something.  
When we entered the dining hall was there a big surprise waiting for us. My parents.  
Talon was the only outsider who knew where they had been hiding and had taken them to Nar Shaddaa. I hadn't seen them for a long time. Laughing and crying we fell into each other's arms. Dash was a little lost. When the first emotions had subsided, I took him by the hand.  
"This is Dash Rendar, my husband. We married on Endor."  
My father looked at him scrutinizing and what he saw seemed to please him.  
"I hope you make my daughter happy, Dash. Welcome in the family."  
My mother nodded benevolently to me.  
"You have made a good choice, my child. I was afraid you would marry some fellow who just happened along. A smuggler for example."  
Somehow I was tempted to annoy my mother.  
"When I first met Dash, he was a smuggler and mercenary, Mama."  
Oh, this shocked expression of hers.  
"At that time I was also a smuggler, so we fitted perfectly together. But before you get upset, Dash is with me in the Rogue Squadron of the Alliance now."  
You could see how relieved she was that she had got after all a decent son-in-law.

After breakfast we went together to our quarters.  
I hadn't told my parents about our triplets because I wanted to surprise them. As soon as my mother was in the room she had discovered the little ones sleeping peacefully in their container bed.  
"You are already a mother, Nomi? Have you been pregnant before your wedding? How old are the little ones? Was it a difficult birth?"  
Laughing, I interrupted her.  
"Yes, I'm a mother of triplets, as you see. Even if it shocks you, I was already in the 7th month when Dash and me have married. Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran are now two standard months old. The birth took place in hyperspace, when we were on the run from the Imps, who had attacked us in orbit of Corellia. It was a difficult birth, but Dash and his droid Leebo did a great job. By the next baby everything will be a little easier for me. Maybe I'll give birth to my fourth child in nine standard months."  
My mother looked at me a little irritated.  
"Is that supposed to mean that you are pregnant again?"  
I smiled at Dash pensive.  
"Oh, you never know. The last night was wonderful. It was almost as beautiful as our engagement night on Hoth, and our triplets were conceived that night. We very much hope that it will be this time a girl."  
My father also spoke up.  
"You can be proud of your children. Hey, Dash, how did you manage that to father three sons at once?"  
Dash grinned.  
"The Force was with me."  
My father got serious.  
"You're not joking with the Force, Dash."  
I looked at my father and responded instead of Dash.  
"This isn't a joke, Papa. Dash comes from a family where often Force sensitive were born. His grandfather was the Jedi Knight Halcyon Rendar. Dash and his father aren't Force sensitive, but our triplets are. Yes, father the triplets are potential Jedi. The babies were in the womb already very strong in the Force. They were so strong they could even protect me from Vader.  
But I will tell you this story on occasion."  
I noticed the glances my parents gave each other. Then my mother spoke up.  
"Dash is Halcyon Rendar's grandson? We knew Halcyon well. Your father hid him during the Great Purge, Nomi. But it was in vain. He was tracked down by a renegade Jedi who helped the Empire to hunt the Jedi. We heard later that Halcyon was executed on the orders of the Emperor. And now you have married his grandson. The circle is now complete. The ways of the Force are often unfathomable. Forgive me that I was so dismissive to you, Dash."  
That my mother apologized to someone rarely happened.

We had a lot to talk about all day long. Time flew by and in the evening we escorted them to the spaceport where the shuttle was already waiting to take them back to Tatooine.  
My father clapped Dash on the shoulder and said: "Take care of Nomi and make her happy, Dash."  
My mother hugged Dash.  
"I wish you all the luck of the universe. May the Force be with you."  
Then they walked up the ramp and disappeared inside the shuttle, which started shortly after.


	40. Nar Shaddaa

An uneventful week had passed when Dash and I were torn by a battle alarm from sleep.  
Hastily we dressed and ran to Talon.  
In the headquarters' command center, everything was in uproar. Talon came to meet us.  
"Nar Shaddaa is being attacked by the Imps, but we won't only watch, we'll fight. There are a few spare fighters. Are you willing to fight along us?"  
Of course we agreed. We just owed it to our friends from the Smuggler's Moon.  
Dash was already halfway out.  
"I take the Outrider!"  
Talon looked at me questioningly.  
"And you, Nomi? Do you fly with Dash or do you prefer a fighter? However, I can only offer you an Ugly or a Z-95 Headhunter."  
There wasn't much to think about.  
"I take the Headhunter, then we have one fighter more for defense. Dash will do fine without me. He still has Leebo who can support him."

Together with the other defenders we ran to the hangar.  
I hadn't flown a Headhunter for a long time. He isn't as agile as an X-wing in space combat, but it will do. When we took off with the Uglies and Headhunters, Dash was already in the air with the Outrider.  
We ascended into orbit above Nar Shaddaa. The attack formation was a little disorganized, but since they were mostly not military trained pilots, it looked quite passable.  
I switched my com to battle frequency.  
"Attention, enemy fighters approaching, 90 °."  
And then I saw them. 30 TIEs were approaching in close formation. I was sure that it wouldn't be easy. I searched for the Outrider wondering what Dash was up to. I couldn't see her anywhere. Then I discovered the familiar silhouette and could hardly believe my eyes. Dash headed straight for the Star Destroyers lurking in the background. I thought as a family man he would refrain from such crazy and daredevil things.  
But actually I wasn't much different than him. I thought briefly of my triplets, I had without much thinking left behind at the headquarters. How would they grow up without their parents, if we don't survive this fight?

The first attack wave of TIEs came inexorably closer.  
I tried to get the first in my targeting device, but the pilot was very good. He avoided me again and again with daring maneuvers and tried to hit me in turn. It was a deadly dance performed by us. Finally, I managed to get him into my crosshairs and I fired my laser cannons. The TIE vanished in a fireball.  
Suddenly I heard Talon's voice via comm.  
"Nomi, you're tailed by one!"  
I looked around and tried in vain an evasive maneuver.  
"Damn, Talon, I can't shake him!"  
Suddenly I heard Salla's voice.  
"Stay calm, Nomi, I'll have him soon."  
Behind me the TIE turned into space dust. I breathed a sigh of relief, that was a close call.  
"Thank you, Salla."  
Salla laughed.  
"You're welcome, Nomi. I wouldn't have liked it if your little ones had no mother anymore."  
The TIEs and our fighters were engaged in fierce single combats. We didn't have much to oppose the Imps and fell behind more and more.

Then I saw that Dash was almost into reach of the tractor beams of a Star Destroyer with the Outrider. I wondered what he was doing there. That was pure suicide.  
I switched my comm to the Outrider's frequency.  
"Dash! Veer, Dash! Have you gone mad? You've no chance against this Destroyer!"  
Finally he answered.  
"Calm down, Nomi. I know what I'm doing. Trust me."  
What happened next, I haven't really realized, because I was attacked by several TIEs. I had to concentrate fully on avoiding them and get them in front of my laser cannons.  
Around me drifted debris of TIEs, Uglies and Headhunters. Death had already held an abundant harvest.  
Suddenly my cockpit was illuminated by the glare of an explosion.  
The Star Destroyer that Dash had headed for was destroyed, and out of the rubble the Outrider flew straight to my position.  
"May I release you from your somewhat obtrusive admirers, Nomi?"  
Together we shot on the approaching TIEs and cleared a path.

After I switched back to the battle frequency, I heard Talon.  
"We can no longer hold our position. Begin retreat. The headquarters must be evacuated."  
Pursued by TIEs we flew towards the headquarters. In the atmosphere of Nar Shaddaa, the Headhunters were clearly in advantage over the TIEs. Thus we gained valuable minutes. When we arrived at the hangar, I ran into our quarters. The babies lay peacefully in their cot.  
Dash had now also arrived and helped me to bring them aboard the Outrider.  
We took off immediately and got into orbit unhindered. There we were received by several TIEs. Meanwhile, our smuggler friends were ready to fight again.  
We managed to shoot a gap in the attack line and jump into hyperspace.  
At the coordinates that had been established for such cases by Talon, the survivors gathered.  
The losses on our side were not as high as they seemed at first sight.

It was time for Dash and me to return to the Alliance.  
"Hey, Nomi, Dash. Thank you for your help. I owe you."  
"It's not worth talking about, Talon. What are you going to do now?"  
Karrde answered hesitantly.  
"Well I think we will look for a new location for our headquarters. I've got already an idea. I know a nice planet called Myrkr that might be suitable. There the Empire will not discover us so fast. And what are you doing?"  
"Oh, we will get in touch with the Alliance. They will definitely be pleased that we come back to them."

Shortly after Dash and me were in hyperspace on our way to Dagobah Base.


	41. Dagobah Base

After a quiet flight we finally landed on Dagobah.  
There, the Alliance, at Luke's suggestion, had set up a new base. When we walked down the Outrider's ramp with the triplets and Leebo, we were already expected by Luke.  
"Hey, Nomi, Dash. Nice that you are back with us. And so these are your children. When they are old enough, I will teach them the ways of the Force. They really have the potential to become great Jedi."  
Suddenly he looked at me in amazement.  
"I can be wrong, Nomi, but I feel in your body a presence in the Force, albeit weak. Can it be that you're pregnant again?"  
"Yes, it's possible, Luke. Dash wanted so much a daughter. Maybe I conceived during our stay on Nar Shaddaa."  
Luke concentrated and smiled after a while.  
"You are indeed pregnant, Nomi, I feel it now quite clear. You will give birth to a daughter and she too is a potential Jedi. With your children, the Jedi Order will be reborn."  
Dash had listened to the conversation in silence until then, but then his joy knew no limits.  
"Nomi, I love you. You fulfill my greatest wish. I can't tell how happy you make me, darling.  
And I already know a name for our daughter. How sounds the name Tasherit to you?"  
"It's a beautiful name, Dash. We'll name her Tasherit when she's born."

Luke was already walking toward the main building of the base and waved us to follow him. There, Leia and Han came to meet us. They too were happy to see us again. Leia looked at the triplets who were sleeping in their container.  
"You really have three pretty babies. I wish that I would once have such gorgeous children."  
Han poked her in the side and laughed.  
"I won't stand in the way, Leia."  
"Who says I want your children, Han?"  
Han looked at her in consternation.  
"Is there another man, Leia? You can't do this to me."  
Leia laughed and gave him a kiss.  
"You really don't understand much of women."  
Luke all the time couldn't help but grin.  
"Why are you grinning, Luke? Wait until you fall in love."  
Luke did not comment on Hans' remark, but asked: "Hey, Han, where's Chewie?"

At the same moment the Wookiee came around the corner and lunged at us with a howl that made the walls tremble. Chewie hugged me so hard that Dash was afraid the Wookiee could hurt me.  
"Chewie, don't crush my wife, I need her."  
Then Chewbaccca spotted the triplets. He carefully took Biggs out of the container and stroked lovingly over his head. He asked me in Shyriiwook: "Are these your children, Nomi?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, these are my and Dash's triplets, Chewie."  
Chewie also took Dash Jr. and Corran out of the container one after the other and looked at them carefully.  
"You can be proud of your children, Nomi. They will definitely become great warriors. If they're old enough, you can send them to me to Kashyyyk. I will teach them how to handle a bowcaster and survive in the jungle. I hope you accept my offer."  
"Of course, Chewie, but that still has time."  
Also Dash was pleased about Chewbacca's offer.  
"Thank you, Chewie. It is certainly not wrong for the triplets to learn a few other things besides the ways of the Force. If they are old enough, we will send them to your home planet."  
Luke interrupted our conversation.  
"I think it's time to show you your quarters. You're certainly tired from the long journey. Why are you already back from Nar Shaddaa?"  
I took on to answer his question.  
"We could not stay there any longer, Luke. The Imps attacked the Smuggler's Moon. We narrowly escaped. There were many losses on both sides."  
Luke looked at us worried.  
"Does that mean you fought with the smugglers against the Imps? See to it that Admiral Ackbar learns nothing about it. Have you forgotten the Mon Calamari's reservations against smugglers? If he finds out you've been working together with smugglers, you'll both be demoted or, worse, expelled of Rogue Squadron."  
We really hadn't thought about that when our friends were in danger.  
Dash vented his anger.  
"Damn it, Luke, we just couldn't let our friends down. How would it have looked like if we had simply entered the Outrider and said: 'We are sorry that you are being attacked by the Imps. Unfortunately, our Admiral has something against smugglers and if we help you we'll be demoted.' Would you had act this way, Luke?"  
Luke was a bit surprised by Dash's reaction. He probably remembered all too well Dash's behavior on Gall.  
"No, of course not, Dash. I probably would have acted just like you without thinking of the possible consequences."  
The triplets began to cry because they were hungry.  
Our friends went to the door.  
"We better leave you now. See you tomorrow."

I was nursing the babies when Wedge rushed into our quarters as usual without knocking. The hope that the man would someday learn to knock before entering a room, I had given up.  
"Hello Nomi and Dash."  
When he saw me with the infant at the breast, he blushed.  
"Oh, am I disturbing you?"  
Dash stood in front of him this way so Wedge couldn't look any longer at me.  
"Of course you disturb, Wedge, as you see. When Nomi nurses the children, she needs serenity and not a stranger's eyes looking at her breast. Is that clear, Wedge? And now go away!"  
I looked at Dash when I heard what he said. It was again this gratuitous jealousy that made him speak like that. Maybe I shouldn't have told him anything about Wedge's marriage proposal and his declaration of love.  
As calm as possible, I answered Dash: "I want that Wedge stays, Dash. Your jealousy is unbearable. I've told you several times that Wedge is just a very good friend of mine. And you forget that he's also your friend. Why do you hurt him? You're the only one I love, Dash. Would I otherwise expect another child from you? I would go with you to the end of the galaxy, but if you keep this up, this what you fear the most will happen. You'll lose me and the children. Don't lose your happiness through your gratuitous jealousy."  
I really didn't know where my husband's fears of loss came from. After I had Dash spoke my mind, he stretched out his hand to Wedge.  
"Sorry, Wedge. I don't know what came over me. You can stay, of course."  
Wedge took Dash's hand.  
"It's alright, Dash. Basically, you're right about your jealousy because I still love Nomi. Love can't just be turned on and off like a hyperdrive. But I'm trying to get over my hopeless love for Nomi. Your wife only loves you, I have never had a chance to win her heart. I hope that someday I meet a woman who I can love as I love Nomi now. I would like to have children with this woman. You both have wonderful sons, I wish they were mine."  
In the meantime I had finished nursing the triplets and put them in their container bed.

Comforting, I put my arm around Wedge.  
"I'm sure you'll find your great love, Wedge. And then you'll get the desired children. Look at us, Dash has longed for a daughter and now I'm actually pregnant with a girl. Luke told me recently."  
Wedge looked at me in surprise.  
"How could Luke tell you? How does he know?"  
I laughed at his lack of understanding.  
"You forget a Jedi can feel a Force sensitive. Yes, Wedge, also the daughter of mine and Dash will be a potential Jedi. We want to name her Tasherit."  
Wedge smiled.  
"A good choice. As far as I know, the name means 'the younger' in an almost forgotten language. By the way, I'll see to it that your triplets get a decent bed. After all, they aren't a load of spice that you simply pack in a container. But now I will leave you. I think you're tired and want to go to bed. See you tomorrow at the combat training."

When Wedge was gone, I realized that I was really tired.  
"C'mon, Dash, I think it's really better if we go to sleep now. Tomorrow we have to report in to Admiral Ackbar and General Madine. And then there's the combat training Wedge mentioned."  
We went to bed. I huddled up against Dash and fell asleep in his arms.


	42. Dagobah Base

Early in the morning, we reported in to Admiral Ackbar and General Madine.  
Both were very friendly to us. Apparently our adventure on the Smuggler's Moon had not gotten around to them. But that should be a delusion.  
When we wanted to leave the room, General Madine took me aside.  
"Lieutenant Darklighter, just a moment, please."  
"Yes, General?"  
He looked at me seriously.  
"I heard rumors about an incident at Nar Shaddaa. The Smuggler's Moon was attacked by Imps. When defending, the smugglers are said to have had support from two members of Rogue Squadron. You and your husband were, if I'm not mistaken, at the time in the Corellian sector?"  
I wondered how he had learned about this. Now only the truth helped.  
"Yes, my husband and I were in the Corellian sector. At the time of the Imperial attack on Nar Shaddaa, we were there. Through the birth of my children, I was very weak and it wasn't possible for us to return to Endor. We had found shelter with friends. As you know, Dash and I used to be smugglers ourselves before joining the Alliance. When the Imps attacked, it was a matter of honor for us to support our friends in the defense. Unfortunately, the Imps kept the upper hand, we barely escaped."  
Now it was out. I was pretty sure that Dash and I would be expelled from Rogue Squadron.  
"It is good that you have told the truth, Lieutenant Darklighter. The destruction of the Star Destroyer Empire's Fist carries Dash Rendar's thumbprint."  
Suddenly, a smile lit up his otherwise always serious face.  
"Even though you knew what was at stake for you, you held to your friends and didn't abandon them, as some would have done. I talked to Admiral Ackbar and he agrees with me that you and your husband should stay in Rogue Squadron. We are convinced that you both have the same loyalty to the Alliance as to your smuggler friends on Nar Shaddaa. Dismissed, Lieutenant Darklighter."

Dash was impatiently waiting for me in our quarters.  
"What did Madine want from you?"  
"Oh, he only wanted to talk about our little adventure on Nar Shaddaa."  
Dash jumped up.  
"And you say this so easily? Nomi is it clear to you that we could lose everything what we have built up?"  
"Calm down, darling, everything's all right. We stay in Rogue Squadron. Indirectly, we were even praised by General Madine and Admiral Ackbar for our behavior."  
Relieved, Dash dropped back onto the chair he had jumped up from.

There was a knock and Wedge came in. Had he actually have learned to knock?  
"Hi, Nomi and Dash, have you forgotten our combat practice?"  
I answered for both of us.  
"Of course we didn't forget it, Wedge. We were held up by General Madine and Admiral Ackbar."  
Wedge looked at me questioningly.  
"They heard about Nar Shaddaa and Madine wanted to talk to me about it."  
"You only talked about it? And I thought he talked to you about your promotion."  
I was speechless with amazement.  
"Don't look at me so astonished, Nomi. Yes, at the suggestion of Mon Mothma, Dash will be promoted to Lieutenant and you to Captain. Hopefully, this isn't obsolete after your Smuggler's Moon escapade. But now, we have to go."

The combat practice was routine and when it was over, we landed our X-wings in the base hangar.  
There we were expected by General Madine.  
"Lieutenant Rendar, Captain Darklighter. It is my special pleasure to congratulate you both on your promotion. I can say you really deserve it."  
Then Dash fell back into his old habits.  
"How many credits do we get more now? After all, we have to feed four children soon."  
Madine looked at him and frowned.  
"Have you ever heard of idealism, Lieutenant Rendar? And why four children? Is Captain Darklighter pregnant again? Can't you hold back? Now I know why we didn't have any women in the Imperial Forces."  
I noticed that my husband was about to lose his temper and I grabbed him soothingly by the arm.  
"Let me talk, Dash."  
I addressed then Madine.  
"You can't eat idealism, General. And as for my new pregnancy, so this is our private matter. As always, I will do my duty in Rogue Squadron as long as possible. Do I have to remind you that in the seventh month of my pregnancy I took part at the attack against the Death Star?"  
"No, of course not, I remember it very well. Your performance was remarkable. Please excuse my comment, I didn't mean to hurt you. Dismissed."

Back in our quarters Dash looked at me.  
"Why didn't you tell him you're going to give birth to a Force sensitive child again?"  
I sighed and lay down on the bed.  
"What would have had this for a benefit? No, darling, I think it's better that only our closest friends know about it."  
Dash came to me and gave me a kiss.  
"As you wish, Nomi. Of course you have to do what you think is right."

That was my problem, I didn't know what was right or wrong in this case.


	43. Aquarius

After 3 months filled with combat practicing, nursing the babies and changing diapers I finally participated in a mission.  
I should, much to the displeasure of Dash, fly with Wedge to Bakura, the now allied planet and get there spare parts for our X-wings.  
My husband had strictly refused to lend me the Outrider.  
"No, Nomi, I don't want Wedge to fly the Outrider. I'm pretty sure he can't handle her.“  
I didn't want to argue with my husband about Wedge again.  
"All right, then let's fly to Endor and get the Aquarius. You can bring us there in the Outrider.  
Then you have the opportunity to keep an eye on Wedge, so he doesn't come too close to me."  
Dash looked at me guiltily.  
"I didn't mean it like that, Nomi. But you really spend more time with Wedge than with me.  
I try to control my jealousy. By the way, who cares about the triplets when we're both gone?"  
I smiled at him.  
"Oh, Leia will do that. She's looking forward to it. So you'll bring us to Endor?"  
"Of course, darling."

After an uneventful flight we landed on Endor.  
Wedge and I transferred to the Aquarius while Dash flew back to Dagobah.  
"Hey, Nomi, you gave her a new paintwork?"  
I laughed.  
"What good is a falsified ship ID, if you can tell by the color, that it's not the Crash Run but the Aquarius? After all, we have to fly through areas that are still controlled by the Imps."  
These areas should prove a problem despite the falsified ship ID and new paintwork.

We had to make several hyperspace jumps before we came to the Bakura system. When we dropped back into normal space at Sluis Van, we landed right in front of a Star Destroyer.  
Over com came the voice of the Imperial Commander.  
"Unidentified Corellian freighter, identify yourself and state cargo and destination."  
Wedge and I had no clue what to do now. He looked at me.  
"We're done when they send a boarding party, Nomi."  
Then again the voice over com.  
"Unidentified Corellian freighter, if you don't answer in five standard seconds, we'll haul you on board with a tractor beam."  
Wedge pushed the button to send the falsified ship ID.  
"Let's see what the falsified ID is worth, Nomi, after all we've paid a lot of credits for it."  
"Corellian freighter Crash Run? According to our information this spaceship crashed on Fondor two standard days ago during the landing approach. There were no survivors. Prepare to be hauled on board."  
I looked anxiously at Wedge.  
"Wedge, I can't bear being prisoner of the Imps again. Promise me that you take your blaster and kill me if they board us. I ask you as my friend. Please do it. Better to die from your hand than be tortured by the Imps."  
Wedge shook me and yelled at me.  
"Nomi, I can't do that! Come to your senses! Don't forget, you are a Rogue! Do you realize what you are asking me to do? Don't you think about your children and Dash? I can't just kill you in cold blood! Then I really wouldn't be better than an Imp!"  
I had completely lost my nerve.  
"Please, Wedge, if you really love me then do it."  
Wedge looked at me very sad.  
"Yes, Nomi, I love you. But because I love you I can't do it."

Then we both felt the vibration as the freighter was caught by the tractor beam.  
Suddenly Wedge tapped his forehead.  
"That I didn't think of it right away. Nomi, do we have any junk on board?"  
I wondered why he was asking this.  
"Yes, lots of it in the garbage lock. But what do you intend to do?"  
He grinned at me.  
"You'll see it soon. Your husband once told me about it. I hope it wasn't only show-off and it works. When I say 'Now' you open the garbage lock."  
I still didn't know what it was all about, but I nodded. Wedge tried to release the Aquarius from the tractor beam. Finally, he succeeded through skillful maneuvering. Then came his command.  
"Now!"  
I pressed the triggers of the garbage lock and the junk drifted towards the Star Destroyer. The tractor beam caught the junk instead of the Aquarius. Wedge turned the freighter and gave full throttle. When we were far enough away from the Star Destroyer we jumped into hyperspace.  
Wedge breathed a sigh of relief.  
"This was a close call."  
I couldn't believe that we had escaped and hugged him.  
"It worked, Wedge."  
He pulled away from me.  
"Forget about it, Nomi. But I don't want to hear such nonsense as before, that I should shoot you. As you have seen, there is always a way out."  
I looked at him embarrassed.  
"Excuse me, but I just lost my nerve. The prospect of being in an Imperial prison cell again, the time as Vader's prisoner, all those memories came back to me."  
"How could I explain to Dash what happened, if I would have come back? I would never have been able to look him in the eye again if I had killed you, and with you, his unborn daughter, whom he's looking forward."  
"Dash would have understood."  
Wedge gave me an odd look.  
"I doubt this, Nomi. Speaking of Dash, the trick with the garbage was simply brilliant. The Commander of the Dominator will have been quite surprised."  
Astonished, I looked at Wedge.  
"This was the Dominator? I know the Commander. His name is Ral Orlans. We had com contact for some time. At that time I had the feeling that he was about to defect."  
"You had contact with an Imperial Commander? I thought only a dead Imp is a good Imp in your eyes."  
"Ral was somehow different from the Imps, which I knew so far. He was somehow nice."  
Wedge looked at me doubtfully, as I continued to speak.  
"He told me about his joyless childhood and how he finally came to the Imps. If at that time he had the opportunity to join the Alliance, maybe he would be with us."  
Wedge nodded thoughtfully.  
"Maybe. But the fact is that he is still with the Imps. But now get ready, we'll reach our destination soon."

The acquisition of the X-wing spare parts took place smoothly. Thankfully, we landed safely back on Dagobah. Wedge had suggested taking a different route back to Dagobah to avoid another encounter with the Dominator.

Dash was already standing in the hangar waiting for us.  
"Nomi! I'm so glad you're back, darling. Did everything go smoothly?"  
I winked at Wedge conspiratorially.  
"Of course, Dash, if Wedge is involved, nothing can go wrong."  
I decided that my husband didn't need to learn about the encounter with the Star Destroyer and my reaction to it. He would have been unnecessarily upset.

Arm in arm, we went to our quarters, where Leia waited with the triplets on us.  
"Hello, Leia, I hope the three didn't annoy you."  
Leia stood up and walked to the door.  
"No, you really have nice children, Nomi. I think I'd better leave you alone now."  
Dash embraced me.  
"Finally we're alone. I missed you so much, Nomi."  
"Hey, Dash, I was only four standard days away."  
He kissed me tenderly and put his hand on my belly.  
"It seemed to me like an eternity. How is our daughter?"  
"I think she's fine. She is much calmer than her brothers were at this time when I was pregnant with them. This pregnancy is very different from the previous one. No nausea and Tasherit doesn't kick like her brothers. But c'mon, Dash, I think it's better if we go to sleep now."  
Dash lay happy next to me and fell asleep.


	44. Dagobah Base

Life on the base went its regular course.  
Since everything was quiet, the Rogue Squadron wasn't needed. Leia, Luke and Han wanted to leave for Bespin to visit Lando. Luke said goodbye to us.  
"Goodbye, you two. It's nice that you finally have more time for your children. In addition I think that Nomi should no longer fly combat missions. She is now in the fourth month, and ..."  
I interrupted him.  
"It's very nice of you, but I don't need a nanny. I will fly combat missions, exactly as then, until the seventh month, if necessary. When I was pregnant with triplets, everything is gone well."  
Luke looked at my husband.  
"Your wife is still as stubborn as it was when I came to know her on Tatooine, Dash. I thought that had changed since she is married to you and has three children."  
Dash laughed.  
"I also hoped she would become calmer and less adventurous. Maybe when our daughter is born."  
Now Luke had to laugh too.  
"I think even with a dozen children Nomi wouldn't be placid. It must be in the blood of the Darklighter family. My friend Biggs was the same."  
I poked Dash in the side.  
"Hey, Dash, admit it, a woman who just stands in front the cooking unit wouldn't be the right one. You need a partner who is equal to you. Luke is right, even with a dozen of children I wouldn't become placid. Anyway, I think four children are enough."  
Dash looked at me a little disappointed.  
"But, Nomi,..."  
I interrupted him.  
"No, Dash, I don't want to be pregnant all the time. Too much is too much. Four children are really enough and don't try to change my mind again. This time you would bite on durasteel."  
Luke had left in the meantime.  
"But with Wedge, you would gladly have a dozen children."  
Now I grew really angry.  
"Damn it, Dash. I'm just waiting for you to finally leave to cheat on you with him. What do you think from me? Do you have so little faith?"  
My husband realized that he had gone too far.  
"Yes, I trust you, Nomi. But Wedge..."  
"There's no 'but'. Now listen carefully. Wedge is a dear friend who means a lot to me. But that doesn't mean that I want to go to bed with him."  
Dash came up to me and hugged me.  
"Please forgive me, darling. I didn't mean to hurt you, but I just can't control my jealousy.  
I don't want to lose you and the children. If I lose everything I've built up in my life again, I don't know what I'm doing."  
I kissed him tenderly.  
"You won't lose us, Dash. I swear that I will always stay with you. Only death can separate us."

At that moment the alarm siren blared.  
The pilots rushed to their fighters. Gavin came to meet us in the hangar.  
"Hi, Nomi. Everything alright, sis? Don't worry, that's certainly just a practice."  
Behind my brother, Wedge appeared.  
"It isn't a practice, unfortunately. There's something on our scopes. It could be an Imperial Star Destroyer. Let's take a closer look, Rogues. We get support from the A-wing and the Y-wing Squadron."  
In my X-wing I was already expected by my excitedly trilling R2-unit Fuzzy.  
"Everything all right, Fuzzy?"  
A confirming whistle and the corresponding translation appeared on the display.  
"Well, then we can start."  
Together with the A- and Y-wing we flew into the orbit of Dagobah.  
Over com came Wedge's voice: "Here Rogue Leader. Switch to combat frequency."  
One after another came the report of the individual pilots that they had switched and were ready.  
"Ok, Rogues. S-foils in attack position. Attack formation. We must prevent that the Star Destroyer escapes and report our base. They haven't noticed us yet. Ground control! Jam their transmissions."  
"Ground control to Rogue Leader. Receiving new signals. Enemy fighters are coming your way."

And there they came already. A TIE Fighter squadron, two TIE Interceptor squadrons and a TIE Bomber squadron. That didn't look good for us.  
"Here Rogue Leader. They seem to have noticed us. Rogue 2."  
"Copy, Rogue Leader."  
"Dash, you fly as my wingman. All other pairings as usual."  
That meant for me that I was the wingman for my brother Gavin. But, as we had fought together for a long time, it wasn't a big change.  
I hoped that Dash wouldn't do anything stupid as Wedge's wingman, since it would be the ideal opportunity to get rid of the rival.

The first TIEs came in range. They were damn fast and skillful.  
"Here Rogue 4. Nomi, take that on starboard. I'll cover you."  
"Ok, little brother, I'm on it."  
When the pilot noticed that I was targeting him, he tried to shake me off with a desperate corkscrew maneuver. But in vain. I managed to get him back in my crosshairs. Seconds later, only debris was left of the TIE.  
Dash's voice was to be heard.  
"Rogue 2 to Rogue 5. Splendid shot, darling. I couldn't have done better."  
"Here Rogue Leader. Cut the chatter, Rogue 2. You can pat each other on the back when everything is over."  
Next to and in front of us were the A- and the Y-wing squadron entangled in fierce single combats. Two A-wing had already returned to the base with severe damages and three Y-wing had been destroyed by enemy fighters.

Suddenly I noticed that Wedge was being attacked by a TIE Interceptor. I wondered why didn't he react and where Dash was.  
"Rogue 5 to Rogue Leader. Wedge you're tailed by a TIE."  
"I've no indication, I can't see it. Rogue 2? Damn, Dash, where are you?  
It looked like my husband wanted to send Wedge to his death in cold blood.  
We other Rogues were too far away to intervene. Suddenly there was a blazing explosion. The TIE Interceptor was vanished. Dash flew through the debris with his X-wing.  
"Thank you, Dash. This was in the last second."  
"Hey, I can't let my wife's best friend be vaporized by an Imp. Besides, a Rogue never let down another Rogue."

Over the Star Destroyer's surface ran the flashes of electrical discharges.  
"Rogues, here Rogue Leader. Let's end this fast. The Star Destroyer is incapacitated by multiple hits from our ion cannon. The A-wing and the Y-wing Squadron are in control of the remaining TIEs. Ground control, open a channel to the Destroyer."  
Shortly after, we heard Wedge ask the Destroyer's crew to surrender.  
"Imperial Star Destroyer Avenger II, this is Commander Wedge Antilles of the Alliance. Surrender. It's useless to resist. Your surviving TIE pilots have already defected to us. If you don't surrender, we will destroy you."  
This was followed by deathly silence. After a while came the answer.  
"This is Admiral Hogran Marsaskala. We don't negotiate with rebel scum. A surrender would be a betrayal to the Empire. We planted explosives all over the ship and set the timers on 5 standard minutes."  
"Admiral, be reasonable. You can't send 35,000 people senseless to their deaths."  
There was no answer.  
"Attention all units! Withdraw immediately from the Star Destroyer. It will explode soon. Move away as far as you can."  
We had hardly enough distance, when the first explosions ran through the Avenger II.

Then we saw some escape pods blasted off, then the star destroyer exploded like a supernova. The escape pods were caught in the aftermath of the explosion.  
Except the TIE pilots who had defected to us, no one had survived by the Imps.

The Alliance base on Dagobah was safe again for some time. But at what price?  
I couldn't be happy about this victory.


	45. Dagobah Base

Lando invited us to Cloud City, but we didn't want to leave the children alone again.  
Dash had gone with Wedge to drink a Corellian ale. Since the attack on the Avenger II, the two men got along. They finally settled their issues.

I'd just nursed the triplets and put them in the crib built by Wedge when I felt I was being watched. I drew my blaster and slowly turned. In front of me stood a shimmering figure in the robe of a Jedi Knight.  
Somehow I felt as if I had seen the man before. The apparition began to speak.  
"I am pleased that you are pregnant again, Nomi Darklighter."  
"Who are you?"  
The apparition laughed softly.  
"You've seen me on Endor before."  
Suddenly, the realization hit me like a kick in the teeth.  
"Darth Vader! What do you want from me? Didn't you torment me enough already? Go away!"  
Vader looked at me seriously.  
"There is still the same anger in you, Nomi. I'm not Darth Vader anymore. Since I have forsworn the dark side of the Force shortly before my death, my crimes have been forgiven. I became one with the Force and became again who I was once - Anakin Skywalker. My son has forgiven me, why can't you?"  
I looked daggers at him.  
"I can't forget what you have done to me and wanted to do. You and the Empire have destroyed my family and my husband's. You can't just wash off the blood on your hands."  
"Nomi, you must banish this hatred from your heart. It feeds the dark side of the Force in your daughter. You mustn't forget, but please, forgive me what I have done to you as Darth Vader. So I can finally find peace."  
I was still standing with drawn blaster before him.  
"Why should I forgive you? Have you ever shown mercy? You tortured your own daughter on the Death Star, and you nearly killed Luke in Cloud City. You killed Obi-Wan Kenobi and you turned your friend Halcyon Rendar in to the Emperor. Unmoved, you watched how he was tortured and murdered."  
Vader looked at me pleadingly.  
"Try to understand, Nomi, that wasn't me. Banish the hatred from your heart."  
Suddenly I heard another voice.  
"Yes, to Anakin's words listen. Think about the unborn child in your body you have. If you don't renounce hatred, easy prey to the dark side it will be."  
Next to Darth Vader, the shimmering figure of Yoda had appeared. I put the blaster away.  
"I can't, Master Yoda."  
He looked at me sadly.  
"Then won the dark side has. Your daughter Tasherit, a Dark Jedi she will be. You want that? Strong in the Force she is. If the light side she is steeped in, she can do much good. If the dark side wins in her, lost forever she is. Death and destruction will bring she to the galaxy. Only her brothers can then this stop. A life-and-death struggle flare up between siblings."  
Luke's father looked at me and nodded.  
"I also have seen the possible future of your daughter, Nomi. It's up to you how it's going to look like. If you continue to succumb to hatred, everything is lost for which you and your friends have fought and suffered."  
I had to come to a decision. The two looked at me expectantly.  
"I forgive you, Anakin Skywalker, even if it is very difficult for me. For Tasherit's sake, I will try to banish the hatred from my heart."  
Yoda snapped at me.  
"Not try, Nomi. Do or do not, there is no try."  
I looked at Anakin Skywalker and Yoda and suddenly I felt peace and quiet in me. I was so light-hearted, as I hadn't been for a long time. Suddenly I was sure that I would be able to banish the anger and hatred for Vader from my heart and mind. I owed that to my children.  
Anakin and Yoda seemed to feel what was going on in me.  
"A wise decision you have made."  
They both smiled before disappearing as suddenly as they had come.

As Dash entered our quarters, I was still standing thoughtfully beside the crib of the triplets who were sleeping peacefully.  
"Hey, Nomi, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost, darling. Are you alright?"  
"Yes, I'm alright. Don't worry, I'm fine."  
He lovingly looked first at his sleeping sons and then at me.  
"I hope our daughter will be as strong as her brothers and as pretty as her mother."  
For the first time I felt Tasherit's movements in my womb. Gently, I took Dash's hand and put it on my belly where he could feel the movements of his daughter. As in the case of the first noticeable movements of the triplets, he beamed with joy.  
"I feel that our daughter is a little fighter. Like her brothers she can't deny her parents. Tasherit will make us proud."  
Affectionate my husband pulled me close and kissed me full of longing. Then he carried me to the bed.  
"What if Wedge pops in here?"  
"Don't worry, darling, we will be completely undisturbed. I locked the door and secured it with a password. Nothing and no one can disturb us. Besides, Wedge is on his way to Cloud City."


	46. Dagobah Base

The next morning Dash stood with breakfast before our bed.  
"Good Morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well? Thank you for the wonderful night. I think you had as much pleasure as me. Or am I wrong?"  
I smiled at him.  
"You aren't wrong. I also enjoyed the night with you. You really understand how to give pleasure to your wife."  
My husband got again that certain twinkle in his eyes.  
"Do you really want to have breakfast?"  
Just as I was about to say something, Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran were crying. The products of our love needed fresh diapers. At least Dash was able to help me with this task. Then the three had to be breastfed. When I was nursing Corran, my husband came to me with a great idea.  
"What do you mean, Nomi, should we modify Leebo so that he can be nanny to the triplets? You would then be relieved and we would have more time for each other again. I immediately agreed enthusiastically.  
"That's a wonderful idea. But, what will Leebo say about that?"

At that moment the droid came in.  
"What will I say? I've nothing against to be reprogrammed. It makes no difference to me whether I take care of your children or your husband. It's all the same, Captain Darklighter."  
Dash wagged his finger at him and laughed.  
"Mind your words, Leebo, or you'll end up in a junkyard. You must really be programmed by a bad comedian."  
I looked at Dash's faithful droid.  
"Did you eavesdrop again, Leebo? How can a droid be so curious?"  
I opened the access panel and began to reprogram the droid. Then I gave Leebo my youngest son. Leebo carried Corran carefully to the cot and laid him next to his two brothers.

After breakfast we went to the small clearing where Yoda's hut stood. I loved this place, it radiated peace and quiet.  
Sometimes I thought I could feel the presence of Luke's old master.  
As a light drizzle began, we sought shelter under the dense trees. I laid my head in Dash's lap and he stroked my face tenderly.  
"Oh, Nomi, I wish it were always so quiet and peaceful as now. When will the time of war finally be over? During each combat mission I fear that one of us will not return alive."  
That's not how I knew Dash. So far I had always had the impression that no risk was too high for him.  
"Hey, Dash, why those black thoughts? Nothing will happen to us, trust me. The Force had been with us and it will continue to be."  
My husband sighed.  
"If only I had your faith in the future."  
The rain had stopped and we went back to the base.  
In our quarters Leebo came to us and announced proudly: "The triplets are fed and have clean diapers, Captain Darklighter. Your children are easier to care for than Lieutenant Rendar."  
Laughing, Dash called: "Nomi, bring the hydro spanner! I think our nanny has some loose screws!"  
Leebo left the room in a hurry.

In the afternoon, my husband and I were busy servicing our X-wings.  
Dash had made some modifications to his fighter. This time he had also accepted that I serviced my machine despite my pregnancy. As I crawled out of the maintenance tunnel of the machine, Dash laughed.  
"You and your beloved X-wing. As I can see, there is an intimate connection between you two."  
I stood in front of him daubed with oil. Dash tried to wipe the oil off and made it worse.  
"I think we both need a hot shower now, darling."  
My husband grinned at me.  
"Then I achieved what I wanted. I love to take a shower together with you. C'mon what are we waiting for?"

After we showered, we went to our children, who were sleeping peacefully in their crib.  
Dash looked at them thoughtfully.  
"These three were born on the run from the Imps in hyperspace. I wonder where our daughter will be born. It would be nice if at least Tasherit would be born on my or your home planet."  
Before I could say anything, Biggs cried.  
I picked him up and rocked him in my arms. Chortling he stuck his thumb in his mouth.  
Dash Jr. and Corran grew restless, apparently sensing that her brother was no longer with them. Dash picked up his two sons and began to rock them in his arms as well. He was rewarded for his efforts by the two and their mother with a beaming smile.  
"You really are the perfect husband and father, darling. When I met you, I wouldn't have expected that from you."  
My husband looked at me.  
"And why did you embark with me anyway?"  
"Maybe thirst for adventure? Perhaps we have been determined by the Force for each other, who knows?"  
"And I thought because you love me."  
I gave Dash a kiss.  
"Of course I love you."  
The triplets had fallen asleep in our arms and we gently put them back in their crib.


	47. Dagobah Base

Two weeks had passed in the meantime, in which apart from combat exercises nothing significant had happened.  
Our sons already showed a keen interest in their surroundings. Dash had built them a small mobile with X-wings, which hung over their cot. If it moved, the children followed it fascinated with the eyes. My husband said that they would surely become as good pilots as their parents.

Meanwhile Luke, Leia, Han and Wedge had returned from Cloud City. A new danger had arisen for the Alliance. A three-eyed mutant named Trioculus claimed to be the son of the Emperor. He owned the glove of Darth Vader. According to a prophecy of the Prophets of the Dark Side, the one wearing this glove should become the new Emperor.  
Luke wanted to leave for Yavin 4 to investigate something he had seen in a vision. I hoped he would come back healthy.  
Despite the danger that threatened the Alliance by the possible new Emperor, my husband and I have been exempted for a standard week from duty in the Rogue Squadron.

One morning, as usual, Dash stood with breakfast by the bed.  
"Good morning, Nomi. I have a wonderful idea. What do you think about leaving our sons in the care of Leebo and spending the week on Corellia? One week just you and I. Wouldn't that be lovely?"  
One week with Dash alone was a tempting idea. But just Corellia? He must have lost his mind.  
"Corellia? You must be crazy, Dash. Don't you remember the day our children were born? Corellia is still under Imperial control. Did you forget that my wanted poster is hanging on all Imperial worlds?"  
"I haven't forgotten, darling. I planned everything. We take neither the Outrider nor the Aquarius for the flight. Admiral Ackbar provides us the Imperial Shuttle, which was used for the assault team on Endor. With a falsified ship ID, landing on Corellia shouldn't be a problem. I thought also to use falsified ID cards for both of us. We will travel as the Imperial Commander Ors Raviul and his charming wife Xala. Besides, no one will pay much attention to a Commander of the Empire traveling with his pregnant wife. Please agree, honey."  
With horror I remembered the fiasco with the falsified ship ID for the Aquarius, that had cost almost Wedge's and my life. But, I had kept that secret from my husband. Now I couldn't tell him anymore, because he wouldn't understand that I had kept something so important to myself.  
"All right, Dash, let's fly to Corellia. When will we take off?"  
Dash jumped up.  
"Immediately. Leebo already got our luggage on board."  
"Hey, you couldn't know that I agree."  
My husband looked at me self-confident.  
"I knew you couldn't resist the prospect of an undisturbed week with the galaxy's best lover on a civilized planet."  
I laughed.  
"At the moment I see rather the biggest show-off of the galaxy in front of me. Sometimes you really fall back into your old habits."

After saying goodbye to Leebo and our children, we boarded the Lambda-class shuttle Tydirium that had been renamed in Berydium. Dash looked really good in his Imperial Commander uniform. I was sure that it wouldn't be difficult for him to impersonate an Imp through his training on Carida.  
On board the shuttle a surprise was waiting for me.  
"Look in the box on the right side of the cargo hold, darling. I think there's something in there for you."  
I found the box and opened it. It contained a beautiful sea green gown.  
"Oh Dash, it must have cost you a fortune."  
My husband smiled at me.  
"That's not important. What matters is that you are happy. It must look wonderful to your copper-red hair and green eyes. I hope it fits. The saleswoman has assured me that it fits well to the belly of a pregnant woman being in the fifth month. It would be nice if you dress it soon, sweetheart."  
He mustn't tell me this twice. When I dressed the gown and stood in front of the mirror, I was amazed. It was semi transparent.  
When I came in the cockpit my husband whistled. I bowed playfully and turned around so he could see me from all sides.  
"You look wonderful, my love. But now sit down in the copilot seat so we can take off."

Shortly after we ascended into the orbit of Dagobah and when we left the planet's gravitational shadow we jumped into hyperspace.


	48. Coronet City

After a quiet journey through hyperspace, we returned to normal space at the coordinates of Corellia.  
Around Corellia, several Star Destroyers were in orbit. As we headed for the planet, there was already a call over the com.  
"Shuttle Berydium state us cargo and destination."  
Dash answered promptly.  
"Here is Commander Ors Raviul. We have no cargo on board. I am accompanied by my wife Xala. Our destination is Coronet City. If you don't let us pass immediately, I will complain to your superior."  
"You must understand that we are careful, Commander. There have been several attacks by Rebels in recent times. Stay exactly in this approach sector."  
Dash grinned at me.  
"It works, darling."  
Then he spoke again via com.  
"It's about time to crush the Rebellion once and for all."  
My husband steered the shuttle to the coordinates they gave us.

Shortly after, we landed safely at the spaceport of Coronet City and walked down the ramp of the shuttle.  
In the spaceport building we had to show our ID cards. I was in a cold sweat when I spotted Hal Horn from CorSec in the hall. I was sure he could still remember me. Then he came over to us.  
"Are there problems with the IDs?"  
The officer looked at him.  
"No, sir, no problems at all."  
Horn looked at me carefully, before he handed Dash the ID cards over.  
"Commander Raviul I wish you and your wife Xala a pleasant stay on Corellia."  
He stressed my name oddly.

As we left the building, I had to talk to Dash about my suspicions.  
"The man was Hal Horn from CorSec. He certainly recognized me. We have to get away."  
Dash tried to calm me down.  
"You're certainly wrong. If he recognized you, we would already be in an Imperial prison cell."  
"But didn't you realize the odd look he gave me?"  
"I still believe that you're wrong. We take a taxi and go to our hotel."

At the hotel I had just unpacked our things, as the reception droid notified us about a visitor.  
My heart almost stopped when I heard the name. Hal Horn from CorSec.  
He had recognized me after all.  
When he entered our room, he saw in two blaster muzzles.  
"Good evening, Commander Raviul. Good evening, Mrs. Raviul. Or should I rather call you Nomi Darklighter? It's a long time since we met the last time. May I sit?"  
I wondered what Horn wanted and why he had come alone.  
"You're probably wondering why I'm here, Nomi."  
I startled when he spoke out my thought.  
"I recognized you right away, since I never forget a face. I don't want to talk about your smuggling in the Corellian sector. They are already time-barred. But now put the blasters away, please. If I had wanted to arrest you, I would have come with Stormtroopers."  
Dash and I put our blasters back in the holster.  
"What do you want from us, Horn?"  
"I wanted to warn you, Lieutenant Rendar. As you can see, I also know who you are. But don't worry, I won't betray you to the Imps. In a way, I sympathize with the Rebellion. My son Corran even wants to join the Alliance."  
My husband raised an eyebrow when the name Corran was mentioned and looked at me questioning. I hoped he wouldn't make a scene caused by jealousy right here in front of Horn. Hal Horn seemed to have noticed nothing and kept talking.  
"I see you're pregnant, Nomi. It would be a pity if your daughter wasn't born. Be careful and avoid the Imps."  
Horn got up and went to the door.  
"You and your husband have nothing to fear from me. May the Force be with you."  
When Horn left, Dash looked at me astonished.  
"How does he know that you're pregnant with a girl?"  
I shrugged.  
"I don't know. Maybe a good guess. But somehow I had a strange feeling. As if someone scans me. It was exactly the same feeling I had with Vader and Luke when they told me which gender my children have or that I am pregnant. But that can't be. The Jedi are all obliterated except for Luke. The only other Force sensitive people I know are Leia and our children."  
"Speaking of our children, how does it come that our youngest son has the same name as Hal Horn's son? Was Corran Horn your lover, Nomi? Is this the reason why Hal Horn remembers you so well?"  
And I thought he was going to let it go.  
"No, Corran Horn wasn't my lover. When I was dealing with his father, he was still a child. Do you want to be jealous of my past now? You knew that you weren't the first man for me. At the time I chose the name for our youngest, I was pressured by Vader. Originally, Corran should be named Obi-Wan. Because of this Vader almost strangled me out of anger. Corran was the only name that came to my mind at this moment. Since it was a Corellian name, I left it this way after the birth of the triplets. I wanted to make you happy."  
My husband looked at me guiltily.  
"No, darling, I'm not jealous of your past. And Corran is really a good old Corellian name. So our youngest son has a connection to my actual home planet. But now, let's go to the Treasure Ship Row."  
"Do you think that's wise after Horn's warning?"  
Dash laughed.  
"Why not? We can't hide forever, darling. There are so many people so we'll get lost in the shuffle.

The large open-air shopping mall located in the Blue Sector of Coronet City was teeming with humans and non-humans from all over the galaxy.  
The displays of the shops lured with various offers. In front of a jewelry store Dash took me by the hand and just pulled me inside. The shopkeeper, a small furry Drall, almost tripped over to serve us. Apparently he was very impressed by the Imperial uniform.  
"A trinket for your spouse, Commander? I think I've got something that will certainly please you."  
He turned to a waiting 3PO protocol droid.  
"Fetch the ring with the Corusca gem from the safe."  
Clattering, the droid went into the back room and came back with the desired item.  
I nudged Dash and whispered to him: "We can't afford that."  
He grinned at me and whispered back: "Let that be my concern."  
The ring looked gorgeous and fit like wax. Dash turned to the merchant.  
"How much is the ring?"  
The Drall wriggled like a Fleek-eel.  
"You have to consider this is a very rare jewel. Moreover flawless, Commander."  
" How much does it cost?"  
"Well, the ring costs 10,000 credits."  
My husband nodded.  
"Alright, we take it."  
"But Ors, so many credits."  
Dash looked at me.  
"You like it, Xala?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, but..."  
Dash interrupted me.  
"But me no buts. Nothing is too expensive for the mother of my children. We take the ring, period."  
With these words he took out his data pad and made the credit transfer to the merchants account. The Drall rubbed his hands because of the good bargain and accompanied us to the door.  
"Always at your service, Commander. Thank you, come again!"

Before I could say anything, Dash hugged me and closed my mouth with a long tender kiss.  
"And now we want to have dinner in the best restaurant in town. Do not look at me this way, darling, we can really afford it."  
After the very good meal we went back to our hotel. It preyed on my mind.  
"Where did you get so much credits from, Dash?"  
He grinned at me mischievously.  
"You forget that you're married to a brilliant Sabacc player, Nomi. It's the game win of three months. You just look glamorous in this gown and how the ring sparkles on your finger. If you weren't already my wife, I would marry you on the spot."  
I sat on his lap and hugged him.  
"You are the craziest man I've ever met. But that's why I love you so much."  
My husband picked me up and carried me to the bed.  
"I'll prove to you that I am not only the craziest man, but also the best you've ever met, my darling."


	49. Coronet City

The next morning we were awakened by heavy knocking on our door.  
Dash took his blaster and went to open the door. Outside stood Hal Horn.  
"You have to quickly get out of here. Your cover is blown. The Stormtroopers are already on their way to arrest you both."  
I jumped out of the bed, dressed quickly, and hastily packed our few belongings. Dash too had gotten dressed. Horn urged us to hurry.  
"Come on, there isn't much time left. Outside there is a speeder waiting that will take you to the spaceport."  
He accompanied us to the vehicle.  
"Get in quickly, my son will bring you safely to the spaceport."  
"Why are you doing this for us, Hal?"  
He smiled at me.  
"I do it for your daughter, Nomi. May the Force be with you."

It was a strange answer, but I had no time to think about it further. In a furious ride we went to the spaceport at the other end of the city. Corran Horn was really an excellent driver.  
"What does your dad meant when he said, he does it for my daughter, Corran?"  
"Father said, your daughter would be important for the galaxy. You know, Nomi, he often has feelings or premonitions regarding future events. Often, what he felt became true. I also have sometimes such premonitions, it is really scary to me."  
Meanwhile, we arrived at the spaceport and Corran Horn said goodbye.  
"Goodbye, Commander Raviul. Goodbye, Xala."  
He hugged me and whispered in my ear.  
"I hope we'll meet again soon, Captain Darklighter. I understand that the Alliance is always looking for good pilots. May the Force be with you."

In the spaceport building we were delayed.  
"Commander Raviul? I thought you and your wife wanted to stay on Corellia for a standard week."  
Dash shrugged.  
"I have received a message that my leave has been canceled. There have been reported increased rebel activity and I have to report in to my unit."  
The Stormtrooper Commander turned to a com unit.  
"I don't know about that. I will check that."  
He waved two Stormtroopers nearer who were coming toward us with drawn blasters rifles. Now it was time to act fast. With a quick motion I pulled my vibro knife and held it at the Commander's throat. Next to me, Dash drew his blaster and fired at the approaching Stormtroopers who fell mortally wounded to the ground.  
"Go! Nomi, run to the shuttle! This place is soon teeming with Stormtroopers!"  
Dash was right. Ten Stormtroopers with blaster rifles stormed towards us, firing at us immediately. Using their commander as a human shield, I retreated to the shuttle.  
"Stop shooting right now, you idiots! Do you want to kill me?"  
My husband kept firing at the Stormtroopers as he followed me to the shuttle. Most of them were either dead or taking cover.  
"C'mon, Nomi, run! Stop hugging that other guy! I give you covering fire! Hurry up!"  
I pushed the commander away from me. He fell to the ground and tried to crawl for cover when a random shot of his own people hit him.  
I drew my blaster and fired at the reinforcements that had arrived. Then I finally reached the shuttle.  
"Go in, Nomi and make her ready for takeoff! I can deal with them alone!"

I dropped into the pilot's seat and started the engines.  
"Close the hatch and then all energy to the shields."  
With a groan, Dash sat down next to me in the copilot's seat. A quick glance told me that he was apparently severely wounded.  
He had noticed my gaze.  
"Could be worse. Just a graze."  
He was barely audible. Then he lost consciousness.  
Outside, the shots bounced harmlessly off the shields of the shuttle. I gave full throttle and the Berydium ascended into the orbit of Corellia.

A short time later I came across the Imperial patrols.  
Apparently they had already received a message about our escape, because they dispatched TIEs. It didn't look good.  
Dash was still unconscious and ashen-faced. There was an ugly bullet hole in his chest. So much for just a graze. He seemed to breathe with difficulty, and I could do nothing for him now. I begged fervently that he doesn't die.  
Meanwhile, I was circled by the TIEs. I tried to dodge and get them simultaneously into my cross hairs. But a Lambda-class shuttle isn't an X-wing. It seemed only to be a matter of time before the shields would fail under prolonged fire.  
Although the shuttle has been modified to allow the pilot to fly and fire at the same time, this dual task was almost impossible. With difficulty I managed through various maneuvers to dodge a few shots, but wasn't able to fire back.  
But what was that? The TIE, who had fired at me from starboard exploded.  
"Alliance shuttle Berydium, looks like you need help."  
It was Wedge's voice. Ten X-wings and twelve Y-wings went for the TIEs that were attacking me. Again Wedge's voice.  
"Seems you're in big trouble. Corellia doesn't seem to bring you luck, Nomi."  
I answered: "See that I have a gap to make the jump into hyperspace, Wedge. Dash is severely injured, I think he dies."  
"We'll do our best, Nomi."  
They actually succeeded to force a way through the ranks of the attackers. The jump coordinates were fixed and I managed to jump into hyperspace.

I switched to autopilot and was finally able to take care of my seriously injured husband.  
He was still unconscious and his breath came intermittently. The blaster shot must have hit part of the lungs. A little further left and Dash would have been killed instantly.  
It was a mystery to me how he had managed to get into the shuttle with this injury. Carefully, I laid him on the floor of the cockpit and took the emergency medical equipment. With the contained breathing mask I tried to give him artificial respiration. The time until I reached the Dagobah system, felt like an eternity.

As soon as the shuttle dropped out of hyperspace, I set off an emergency call.  
"Alliance Base, here Shuttle Berydium. I have a severely injured with suspected lung shot on board. Requesting permission to land and immediate medical help."  
After a short while came the answer.  
"Landing permission granted, Berydium."  
When I had landed the shuttle in the hangar, 2-1B already stood ready to take care of Dash. With a repulsor stretcher he was carefully brought to the med bay and immediately put into a Bacta tank.  
I stood behind the transparisteel window separating the treatment room from the observation room, hoping that my husband would survive his severe injury.

Wedge had come in and put his hand gently on my shoulder.  
"Come, Nomi, you can't do anything for him now. Dash is strong, he will make it. You have to rest."  
At that moment, 2-1B came in.  
"Yes, Captain Darklighter, listen to Commander Antilles. He is right, you need rest. Think of the child you carry under your heart. Lieutenant Rendar responds well to the Bacta. If there are no complications, he will survive. However, it will take some time for the injured lung to regenerate."

Reluctantly, I let Wedge take me to my quarters. I couldn't do anything for Dash except wait and hope.


	50. Dagobah Base

After a week of repeated treatment in the bacta tank and artificial coma, Dash regained consciousness.  
The respirator was finally shut down. The mechanical breathing had frighteningly reminded me of Vader. My husband could, albeit with difficulty, breathe independently again.  
I hadn't found much sleep this week and just looked terrible. Wedge wanted to replace me at the bedside guard, but I mostly refused because I wanted to stay with Dash. He then sat down to me and kept me company.

Wedge was with me when my husband opened his eyes.  
"Hi, there you are again. You scared your wife and me, old buddy. To be honest, it looked bad. We thought you wouldn't make it."  
Dash tried to smile. Barely audible came his reply.  
"Hey, Wedge, ill weeds go apace."  
Then he looked at me.  
"Hi, Nomi, how are you and the children?"  
"We're fine. Leebo takes care of the triplets. You don't need to worry. That you are well again, is all that matters. We need you, Dash."  
2-1B came in.  
"Ah, I see, our patient is no longer unconscious. We did it, the injury heals well. Only a small scar will remain as a reminder."  
Then the medi droid looked at me.  
"You look bad, Captain Darklighter. Don't you want to rest, now that your husband is feeling better? This isn't of any help when you collapse."  
Dash had fallen asleep again. I nodded.  
"Yes, maybe it's really better if I take a little nap. I can hardly stand on my feet anymore. Are you so kind and go along with me, Wedge?"

Wedge took me to our quarters. At the door I turned.  
"I have a request to you, Wedge."  
He looked at me.  
"What is it? You know, I can hardly refuse a wish of you."  
"Please take care of Dash, he shouldn't be alone when he wakes up. Explain to him why I'm not with him."  
Wedge nodded.  
"Yes, I will do that. Your husband will certainly understand. But now go in and rest. You really need sleep."  
Hardly in the bedroom I fell exhausted on the bed and fell asleep.  
When I woke up, I had slept almost 24 standard hours.

The next day I took the kids and Leebo to the med bay.  
Wedge sat at Dash's bed, as he had promised. My husband just woke up and was happy to see his sons. Wedge had left us alone.  
"Hello Dash, how are you? Are you still in great pain?"  
He looked at me with a wry smile.  
"To be honest, there were days I felt better, honey. Thank you for bringing the children."  
Leebo forged ahead.  
"I am glad that you are fully functional again, Lieutenant Rendar."  
"Hey, Leebo, you old metal bucket. I wouldn't exactly call it functional, but I feel better now."  
Dash's voice was clear and strong again and breathing no longer was so hard for him. He told me what had happened on Corellia.  
"I was almost in the shuttle when I turned to fire back. In the process, I was hit by a Stormtrooper who wasn't such a bad shot as the others. Wedge told me what happened afterwards. I thank you for what you have done for me. Without you and your willpower, I wouldn't be alive anymore, Nomi. I don't know how to thank you. I'm deeply indebted to you."  
I kissed his forehead.  
"I couldn't just let you die. Damn, I love and need you. Without you, my life would be meaningless. Should I have watch how your life goes out like a candle? I fought for your life with all the means at my disposal and I won. I want no thanks from you, Dash."  
My husband smiled at me.  
"My brave little fighter. With your special strength you have defeated the death that had me already in his grasp. You are really a remarkable woman and I am glad and grateful that you are my wife. From what Wedge told me, I almost believe you may be a Jedi. But now give me my sons. For so long I haven't been able to hold them in my arms."

Carefully, I gave him Dash Jr., Biggs, and Corran one after the other. The three children squealed with delight as their father hugged them. When he caressed them enough, he handed them back to me and pointed to the edge of the bed.  
"Come, darling, sit here. I want to try if I can feel our daughter."  
Leebo took the triplets, and I sat down on the bed. Carefully put Dash his hand on my belly and indeed Tasherit began to move at this moment. Maybe she had felt her father's hand. And then my husband did something he had never done with his unborn sons. He spoke to his unborn daughter.  
"Hello, Princess. I'm really looking forward to you. Now it won't be long before I can finally hold you in my arms. You will certainly be very similar to your mother."  
Then my husband fell asleep. Our visit had been quite exhausting for him. I took his hand, which was still resting on my belly, and laid it carefully back on the blanket so as not to wake him up.

Quietly Leebo and I left the room with the triplets, who had also fallen asleep. Outside Wedge was waiting for me.  
"Didn't you exaggerate something in your story, Wedge? Dash now almost considers me being a Jedi."  
He looked at me seriously.  
"I haven't exaggerated, Nomi. 2-1B told me that Dash couldn't have survived 20 standard minutes with this injury. When you brought him to Dagobah, the healing process had already begun. Our medi droid was completely baffled. There is no explanation for this phenomenon. The healing progresses exceptionally fast. What did you do with Dash, Nomi?"  
I had no idea what happened.  
"Except to give Dash artificial respiration, I didn't do anything, Wedge. Maybe Tasherit? She's like her brothers a potential Jedi. Even the triplets were as unborn already very strong in the Force. Can it be that my daughter has kept her father alive?"  
Wedge looked at me in amazement.  
"I don't know, Nomi. I don't understand such things. If Luke were here, he could surely tell you if that is possible.

Back in our quarters, I pondered who or what had kept my husband alive. I came to no result. I had to wait for Luke to come back, because I hoped he could explain me what happened.


	51. Dagobah Base

Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the droids have arrived safely on Dagobah.  
They had to pass in the last time many adventures. The Emperor Trioculus didn't live anymore. The renewed threat to the Alliance was averted.

Dash was getting better and better. He was able to get up again and there was hardly anything left to see from the bullet wound. It was really amazing how quickly he has recovered from such a serious injury. When I visited him in the med bay, he already came to meet me.  
"Hi, Nomi. Will you finally get me out of here? I just can't stand it anymore. If I have to stay longer, I'll go crazy. I finally want to see something other than white walls."  
I kissed my husband.  
"Oh, Dash, how can you be so impatient?"  
He laughed.  
"You have to say that. You're the most impatient person I've ever met, darling."  
He was right, patience wasn't one of my main virtues.

At that moment Gavin came in joyfully.  
"Hello, brother in law! How is the tired warrior doing?"  
"Hey, Gavin, who do you mean with tired warrior? Let me just sit in my X-Wing again, then we'll see who's the tired warrior of both of us. But thank you for asking how I am, Gavin. I would be much better if your sister would finally get me out of here. Can't you convince her that it's best for me to be with her again?"  
Gavin looked at him amused.  
"You don't like it here? Here you have everything you need. Rest and recuperation. No excitement, no combat exercises, nice droids, what more do you want?"  
"What I want? I don't need rest, a proper fight would be much better to me than to sit idle. Nice droids? What do I have from droids? You can't even have a good talk with them. I finally want to fly again. I don't know if you understand, but I must fly. Flying is my life. And what the most important is for me, I want to wake up in the morning next to my wife. These morning solitude is the worst thing for me."

Before Gavin or I could say anything, 2-1B came in.  
"Well, we can remedy the morning solitude, Lieutenant Rendar. I don't mind if Captain Darklighter takes you home. It isn't necessary to keep you in the med bay. I hope I don't see you again so soon."  
Dash was beaming from ear to ear.  
"I hope so too, 2-1B."

My husband packed his things almost with light speed.  
Gavin accompanied us to our quarters, where he said goodbye to us.  
"I think it's better to leave you alone now. Finally, you had to do without each other for almost two weeks. I would only disturb."  
And with these words he was already gone.  
I thought, that it is nice to have an understanding brother who knows when he is superfluous.

When we came to our quarters Dash embraced me and gave me a deep kiss.  
"At last alone, darling. I missed you so much."  
At the same time tender and demanding his hands slid over my body. As his lips sought my mouth again, I glanced over his shoulder to the cot. I didn't believe my eyes. Above the bed, the X-wings of the mobile circled freely.  
Dash noticed that apparently something was wrong.  
"What do you have, my darling? You don't like it?"  
I pointed to the bed of the triplets and he turned. He was as amazed as I was.  
"It looks like our sons are testing their Force powers, Nomi. Apparently the gentle swinging back and forth of the X-wings in the air draft wasn't enough for them. Maybe I should build little TIEs for them, then they can practice space combat."  
"That you must always think of fighting, Dash."  
My husband looked at me.  
"The whole life is one big fight, Nomi. It's good if our children are prepared for it. But you're wrong, I don't always think about fighting. Right now I'm thinking on love and that with you. Come, darling, we have much to catch up."

In the afternoon I finally managed to meet Luke alone.  
"Can I ask you something, Luke?"  
He smiled at me.  
"Of course, Nomi. What's on your mind?"  
I hoped that I would finally get an answer to the question that occupied my mind for a while.  
"It's because of Dash or rather his wound. 2-1B said that my husband wouldn't normally have survived 20 standard minutes. When we arrived on Dagobah, the healing process, however, had already begun. How is this possible? You know that neither he nor I are Jedi. Is it possible that Tasherit has something to do with this phenomenon?"  
Luke looked at me thoughtfully.  
"It might be possible that your unborn daughter has something to do with it. But I'm not certain. There are so many things that I don't know yet. I couldn't complete my training with Master Yoda. I'm still a long way from knowing everything and being a Jedi Master. The ways of the Force were sometimes inscrutable even for Obi-Wan and Yoda. A Jedi is effectively a perpetual seeker of knowledge and insight. I think you should rejoice that Dash's alive and that he will recover."  
"Yeah, maybe I should, Luke. By the way, our triplets used their Force powers for the first time today. Me and my husband were amazed when suddenly the X-wings of the mobile circled freely in the room. It must have been fun for our children."  
Luke frowned.  
"I didn't think that they could make use of their abilities so early. After all, they can't even speak. Simply amazing. You must be very careful now, Nomi, that they don't get dangerously close to the dark side while playing. Dash and you bear a great responsibility now. Of course I will support you as far as I can. Together we'll make it."  
Suddenly all my fears were back.  
"I'm afraid of that responsibility, Luke. What if we fail and our children are seduced from the dark side? What happens if one of our sons becomes a second Darth Vader?"  
Luke seemed concerned.  
But if you're so afraid of responsibility, why did you consciously choose to conceive a fourth Force sensitive child?"  
"I didn't choose to have a fourth Force sensitive child. It may sound stupid and naïve, but I had hoped that this child would be normal. Unfortunately, it isn't so. I will have to live with this burden and responsibility, for better or worse. I wish it were different. Under these circumstances we will probably never be able to live a normal family life. The fear of the dangers of the dark side for our children will always dominate us."  
My childhood friend looked at me seriously.  
"You must not let fear overwhelm you. Fear, anger and aggressive feelings are part of the dark side. Try to handle the talent of your children as naturally as possible. The ability to understand and use the Force is a wonderful gift made to your children. If your children are old enough, I will teach them how to use the Force. I promise, Nomi."  
"Thank you, Luke."

After talking with Luke I went to my favorite place in the small clearing near Yoda's hut.  
I had a lot to think about. Slowly, the fog from the nearby swamp rose. As always, I felt a deep peace in this special place. All the fears left me.  
This clearing had become a place of refuge for me when I had to come to terms with myself and my feelings. I literally felt the life energy surrounding me.  
When I was at this place, my unborn daughter behaved more calmly in my belly. It was as if she didn't want to disturb her mother's inner peace.  
I must have fallen asleep in the clearing, then I woke with a start when I heard approaching footsteps. It was Dash looking for me.  
"I have guessed that I would find you here, Nomi. What's your problem?"  
"It's nothing, Dash."  
My husband shook his head.  
"I don't believe you. I know you, something bothers with you. Don't you want to tell me?"  
I then told him about my conversation with Luke. When I finished, Dash nodded.  
"Luke is right, Nomi. We shouldn't worry too much about our children. I know they will be able to resist the temptations of the dark side of the Force. After all, they are the children of their parents. But now come to the base, it's already late. One can barely see the hand in front of one's eyes."  
Arm in arm, we walked back to the base on the path that Dash had lit-up with a glow rod.

Arrived in our quarters we went straight to bed. The lonely nights were finally over for us.


	52. Dagobah Base

I was in the 6th month and became more misshapen. My movements had become quite sluggish.  
I got tired very quickly, sometimes I almost fell asleep standing up.

Our sons were 8 months old now and had already had their first teeth. We had a lot of fun with them. But it was also exhausting. All what was within their reach, they put into their mouths. There was no point in putting something out of reach. If they couldn't reach it with their little hands, they took it with help of the Force. Dash was busy stopping any objects on their trip to the triplets. Every time the children started to cry when their plans were thwarted by their father. They seemed to understand each other blindly and cooperate very purposefully when it came to achieving something.  
Sometimes our sons were directly scary to me. My husband, on the other hand, almost burst with pride at his children.  
Luke was a frequent guest in our quarters to watch the development of this new generation of Jedi.

One morning he was once more with us and was amazed to see what Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran were capable of.  
"Your sons are really very strong in the Force. We have to be careful that they develop as desired by us. It would be disastrous if they would serve the dark side with this Force potential."  
Then he looked at me and I felt the groping search of his mind in my body.  
"I feel that your daughter also has an exceptionally strong presence in the Force. She will be equal to her brothers. I'm looking forward to start training your children. Unfortunately, my sister Leia is still refusing to make use of her talent. She rejects it as a legacy of her hated father. I just can't understand her."  
Dash had left us alone since he had to get his X-wing ready for the next combat exercise.  
I sat down next to Luke and took his hand. It was his bionic hand, but I wasn't aware of it at that moment.  
"I can understand Leia, Luke. She never told you what happened on the Death Star?"  
Luke shook his head.  
"Vader, her own father, has brutal tortured her. He never knew how close he came to break her. A little longer and she would have told him everything he wanted to know. How can a father torture his own child, Luke? And you? He wanted to kill you. Through him you lost a hand."  
He withdrew his right hand and looked at it.  
"Your father has done you so much harm, Luke, it's only too understandable that Leia can't forgive. And I can understand that she's afraid of using the talent she inherited."  
Luke struggled to hold back tears as he spoke.  
"You are right from a certain point of view. Our father didn't know then on the first Death Star that Leia is his daughter. He found out about it only a few minutes before his death on the second Death Star. At that time he had read my thoughts that I couldn't hide from him. When he talked about converting Leia to the dark side, I lost my temper. The dark side whispered to me and I almost succumbed to her temptations. It gave me unimagined powers. Suddenly, I understood why my father had taken this dark path. I was about to become like him. In addition to that the tempting, wooing voice of the Emperor. You can't guess what seductive power was in that voice. It was not until my father lay beaten at my feet and I saw the stump of his severed right hand, with its wires hanging from it, that I realized how close I had come to the dark side. I looked at my own artificial hand, which I owed not only to him but also to my recklessness, and chose the light side of the Force. What followed I have already told you on Endor, Nomi."  
Luke had regained his composure at the end of his story. He sighed.  
"I envy you for your children, Nomi. Will I ever have a wife and children? Leia has Han - I have no one. I often feel very lonely, Nomi. Especially at night I realize my loneliness and the emptiness in my heart. Maybe that's the price I have to pay as a Jedi."  
His gaze went into the distance. He didn't seem to notice my presence as he spoke as if to himself.  
"Once I loved and desired Leia how only a man could desire a woman. Her kiss on Hoth was the greatest happiness for me, and I still had hope that we might become a couple. When Ben told me that Leia is my sister, I was glad that there had never been more than this one kiss."

I hadn't noticed that Luke was in love with Leia. I must have been blind. I wondered why everyone pour out their heart to me.  
"Why? Because you are a good listener. And you are above all close-mouthed."  
"Damn, Luke, don't do this to me!"  
He looked at me innocently.  
"What should I not do to you?"  
"What you have just done. You've read my mind. I don't want that. Promise me you'll never do that again."  
"Excuse me, Nomi, it happened unconsciously. I still can't master my skills so well. It will not happen again, I promise you."  
"I hope so."

At that moment, Dash came in with Wedge and Gavin.  
"Hey, Nomi, sis, have you forgotten that you too must take part in the combat exercise? Your pregnancy doesn't give you carte blanche to miss your duties. See that you come into your pilot gear."  
I made a face at Gavin.  
"You could have a little more respect for your big sister, little brother."  
Dash and Wedge laughed.  
"Gavin's right, sweetheart. You're really late. Hi, Luke. You're still here? Are my children so interesting to you? Why don't you get children of your own?"  
Luke got up and walked to the door.  
"I think it's better if I go now. See you tomorrow."  
My husband looked at me questioningly.  
"What does the boy have?"  
"You really have a soul like a Bantha, Dash."  
Wedge nodded.  
"Don't you notice what's going on with Luke, old buddy?"  
Dash shook his head.  
"No, what should I notice?"  
Wedge sighed.  
"You really have no sense of what's going on in other people. Luke longs for a wife. And then you tell him he should get own children. Did you have to rub salt into the wound? But now we have to go. Dash, Gavin, Nomi, ready for takeoff?"  
We nodded and walked together to the landing pad.

After hours of practice I slumped completely exhausted at Dash's side in our bed and fell asleep immediately.


	53. Dagobah Base

A few days later I was gone with the triplets to my favorite spot near Yoda's hut.  
I sat under a tall tree. Corran slept in my arms while Dash Jr. and Biggs crawling explored their surroundings. As always, I felt the deep peace of this place.

Suddenly I heard soft footsteps approaching slowly. I drew my blaster and aimed in the direction from which the footsteps were approaching. To my relief, I saw that it was Dash coming up from the thicket. I immediately lowered my Blaster, engaged the safety and put it back in the holster.  
"Hey, honey, you threaten your husband with a blaster?"  
He picked up his eldest son and sat down next to me. I laughed.  
"If you sneak up on an Alliance fighter, you must expect to be shot, Dash."  
He kissed me.  
"Yes, you're right, it was unreasonable of me. But I didn't think that you are so quickly at hand with the blaster on this peaceful planet."  
"If you want to survive, you should never relax your attention. You could have been a bounty hunter. Why are you here?"  
He untied an object from his belt and gave it to me.  
"Luke sends me. He asked me to give you this."  
I took the object. Carefully, I turned the object that was a lightsaber in my hands.  
"He said you would need it someday."  
The weapon felt good, it was perfectly balanced. As I pushed the switch, emanated an approx. one meter long ice-blue blade of pure energy from the hilt. The lightsaber hummed softly.  
"How does Luke get the idea that I need a lightsaber? I'm no Jedi, Dash."  
My husband looked at me thoughtfully.  
"I'm not sure. My survival thanks to your help..."  
I interrupted him.  
"Damn it, Dash, you're talking nonsense. I can give birth to children with Jedi potential, but I'm still no Jedi. Give Luke the saber back, I have no right to carry it. Tell him I don't want it."  
Dash looked at me puzzled.  
"I think you should better tell him yourself, Nomi. He will be disappointed that you reject his gift."  
I laid Corran on the ground and stood up.  
"Yes, I'll tell him myself. Where can I find Luke?"  
"Oh, I think in his quarters."  
"Good, see you later, Dash."  
My husband also stood up and took my arm.  
"Do me a favor, Nomi, please stay calm. Don't throw the poor boy the saber in front of the feet or against the head."  
"Hey, you know me."  
"That's why, sweetheart."

When I arrived at Luke's quarters, I knocked.  
"Come in, Nomi, I've been expecting you."  
I opened the door and entered. Luke was sitting cross legged on the floor. He stood up and came towards me.  
"You know why I come to you?"  
Luke nodded and pointed to the saber hanging from my belt.  
"Yes, Nomi, I know. You are come to me because of this weapon, my gift. You want to tell me that you aren't worthy to carry and use the weapon of the Jedi Knights. Well, you don't have to be a Jedi to handle a lightsaber. You are a very good knife fighter and therefore you should be able to handle the saber well. It is essential that you learn to handle it, Nomi."  
I looked at him questioningly.  
"Why, Luke? Do you have foreseen something? What is it? Is my family in danger? Tell me, please."  
Luke sighed.  
"You know, the future is always in motion. It's difficult to see it clearly. That's why I built this sword for you, because you may need it. As you've probably noticed, it's very similar to my own. It's a good weapon. Please, Nomi, listen to me and keep my gift. We can start training tomorrow, I already talked to Dash about it."  
"You withhold something from me. What is it, Luke?"  
Luke sighed again.  
"Don't ask, I - I can't tell you. Please trust me."  
I nodded.  
"You're my best friend and we both know each other from childhood - I trust you. I hope you don't disappoint my trust in you. Teach me how to fight with a lightsaber and I promise to be an eager pupil. See you tomorrow, Master Skywalker."  
Luke grinned at me.  
"Hey, Nomi, for you I'm still Luke - just Luke."  
I smiled at him.  
"Ok, see you tomorrow, Luke."

Dash was waiting for me in our quarters.  
"I see that you still have Luke's gift with you. I'm glad you keep it."  
"What did you discuss with Luke? And how did he manage to persuade you to give permission for lightsaber training?"  
My husband shrugged.  
"Luke told me it's necessary that you learn to handle the lightsaber. One doesn't contradict a Jedi. Luke will have had reasons for his decision to build you the weapon of a Jedi Knight."  
I slumped sluggish on a chair.  
"I'm afraid of the future, Dash. Luke doesn't tell me anything, and I'm afraid it's something terrible waiting for us. Didn't he tell you?"  
Dash shook his head.  
"No, darling, he didn't tell me what he saw in the future either. Promise me that you will learn to fight with the lightsaber. Maybe one day our life will depend on your abilities."

Somehow I had the feeling that also Dash was keeping something from me.


	54. Dagobah Base

The day I should start with the lightsaber training had come.  
Everything in me was reluctant. But I promised Luke and my husband.  
Luke had already expected me.  
"Come in, Nomi."  
He was dressed in black, as he had been on Endor back then.  
"We have no time to spare and start right now. Activate the lightsaber but be careful. A lightsaber can cut through everything except the blade of another lightsaber."  
Reluctantly, I pushed the switch. The blade appeared with a snap hiss that changed to a low humming sound.  
"You have to hold it with both hands. Look at me."  
He showed me on his lightsaber the correct posture of the hands.  
"Yes, that's properly, Nomi. You have to get a feel for the weapon. It has to become a part of yourself. The saber is an extension of your arm. You have a greater range than with your vibro knife and can keep the opponent at a distance. I will now show you the individual stances. Look closely and then copy them."  
He ignited his lightsaber and began to demonstrate the individual stances. Luke moved with the elegance of a dancer. Such light, flowing movements I had rarely seen in a man. Compared to him I found myself clumsy and awkward. Luke laughed.  
"That was not bad, Nomi."  
I looked at my teacher doubtfully.  
"Hey, I'm serious. You quickly understood the basics."  
"You don't want to offend my feelings, Luke. I'm too slow. My movements aren't as flowing as yours. I will never be able to handle a lightsaber like you. I have no right to carry this weapon, I am becoming more and more aware of it. Please take the lightsaber back and give it to Leia. Maybe you can teach her. She deserves the weapon more than I, because she is Force sensitive. I think it's better to stick to my blaster and the vibro knife."  
Luke shook his head.  
"You aren't too slow. Don't forget that you are pregnant. As a result, you are somewhat limited in your movements. When your daughter is born, your movements will be flowing and elegant again. Believe me. How often did I see you fight with the vibro knife. Every time I have admired your quickness and elegance. Don't give up this fast, Nomi. It may depend a lot on your ability to handle the lightsaber."  
I ignited the lightsaber again and went into a basic stance.  
"I'll try, Luke."  
"No, not try. Do or do not, there is no try. This was what Master Yoda always said to me."  
I nodded and went through each stance again and again. At the end, I was so exhausted that the lightsaber almost slipped from my hands. Luke finally had an understanding.  
"I think that's enough for today. Come sit down. You are completely exhausted. We'll continue tomorrow. You will practice the individual stances until they become second nature to you. The individual movements must be a given. If that's the case, we'll start practicing with a trainings remote."  
Luke went to the intercom.  
"I'll tell Dash to pick you up."  
He spoke in the com.  
"Dash? Please come and pick up your wife in my quarters. We're done with the training for today."  
He paused because Dash apparently asked him something.  
"No, she's fine. I just don't want to send her alone."  
Luke turned to me.  
"Dash will be here in a few minutes."

When my husband arrived, he stopped dead in he's tracks.  
"Luke, what did you do with Nomi? She's completely exhausted and there you say she's fine? You've probably completely forgotten that my wife is pregnant. Should she lose the child?  
I swear, if that happens, I'll kill you."  
Rarely had I seen Dash so upset and angry. I stood up and laid a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.  
"Please calm down, Dash. Me and the baby are doing really well. I'm just a little tired. Luke didn't demand too much of me. He is really a good teacher."  
Dash went to Luke and extended his hand.   
"Excuse me, Luke. I did not mean it that way."  
Luke took his hand.  
"Never mind, Dash. I probably would have reacted the same way as you did. But intensive training is important, only this way Nomi can get the necessary skills. You know what can depend on it."  
So I was right, both men kept a secret from me. But I was too tired to follow up on this. Dash came up to me and lifted me up in his arms.  
"Come, Nomi, I'll take you to our quarters. Goodbye, Luke, see you tomorrow."

I must have fallen asleep in Dash's arms, because I woke up when he put me gently on the bed. He started to take off my sweaty clothes.  
"I think it's better if you take a shower and then immediately go to bed, honey."  
I nodded and went to the small refresher. After I showered, I went to bed and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.


	55. Dagobah Base

The next morning Dash woke me up with a kiss. Carefully he laid his hand on my belly.  
"Good morning you two, how are you?"  
"Tasherit and I are fine."  
I pushed his hand away.  
"No, Dash, not now. I have to talk to you."  
He looked at me aghast.  
"Hey, what's wrong with you? I just wanted to see if I can feel my daughter. What do you want to talk about with me? Did I do something wrong? What's the matter?"  
I sat up.  
"Yes, you did something wrong, Dash. You lied to me. You know very well what Luke had foreseen. Why don't you tell me the truth?"  
Dash searched with an effort for words.  
"You're right, Nomi. I know what Luke foresaw as a possible future. I had to promise him that I won't tell you. Please understand, I am bound by this promise."  
"No, I don't understand that. Damn, I'm your wife and I have a right to know what could threaten our family. Apparently Luke believes that only I am able to protect us. But to protect us, I have to know what to expect."  
My husband looked at me sadly.  
"Please, Nomi, don't ask further. Don't make it that hard for me. Trust Luke and me. As you continue to train, you will be able to face the challenge that comes your way. Moreover, it isn't sure that what Luke saw will occur. I hope so. But c'mon, we have to get up now. Wedge has scheduled a combat exercise for this morning. Surely you want to eat something before and our children still have to be fed."  
I sighed and got up.  
"These constant combat exercises and now the lightsaber training, I have little time for our children. I'm afraid if this keeps up, they'll see Leebo as their mother. If only this war would be over. Sometimes I wish I had never heard of the rebellion against the Empire and would still sitting on my backwater planet being a smuggler."  
Dash grinned at me.  
"You would have died of boredom, sweetheart. And above all, you wouldn't have met me. You would have married some boring moisture farmer. No, Nomi Darklighter, you can't tell me that you long for such a life. I know you too well. You need the adventure and the challenge of the fight. Admit it."  
I nodded reluctantly. My husband was right, though I hated to admit it.

After we had showered and dressed we fed together with Leebo the triplets. Then we were also able to eat something.  
After the combat exercise, we also had to go to the simulators. When I saw the program, I could not believe my eyes. It simulated the attack on Coruscant or how the Imps called it, Imperial Center.  
I wondered what that meant. It was crazy to even think about attacking the Core Worlds.

I was right. At the end of the program, the Alliance forces were wiped out. Wedge was understandably not satisfied with this result.  
"If we attack Coruscant, I don't want to have a result like in the simulation. We got half a standard year by the High Command, to prepare for this operation. We will practice until this attack no more looks like a mass suicide. Understood, Rogues?"  
In unison came the affirmative answer.  
"I didn't expect anything else. Dismissed."

In the afternoon, I went to Luke to continue my lightsaber training. This time it was a little better.  
"If you continue like this, then we can practice with the training remote soon, Nomi. You learn very fast. I am very contented with you."  
At this praise from Luke, I blushed like a little girl. Although I had initially resisted, I now had to admit that I was pleased to be allowed to fight with this special weapon.


	56. Dagobah Base

After three weeks of intensive training in the basic terms of a lightsaber fight, the day had come for me to compete against the training remote for the first time.  
Dash wanted to accompany me this time. We were already expected by Luke in his quarters. In his hand he held a small silver sphere with sensors and small openings on the surface.  
"Hello, Dash. Want to see what progress Nomi has made?"  
My husband nodded.  
"Of course, Luke. When Nomi practices with the lightsaber, I'm never allowed to watch. I am very interested to see how my wife can handle this weapon. I hope you allow me to watch."  
"Of course, you can watch, Dash. I do not mind."  
Luke turned to me.  
"Today you will compete against this training remote, Nomi. It will try to hit you with small laser beams. Your task is to ward off these beams. You don't have to be afraid, it isn't dangerous. I have set the intensity so that a hit only causes a short unpleasant tingling sensation. Finally I had to take into consideration that you are in the seventh month of your pregnancy. I don't want to risk something happening to you or the child. Get ready, Nomi."

He threw the training remote into the air, where it hovered and silently hummed. I ignited the lightsaber and went into a combat stance. As soon as I activated my weapon, life came into the remote.  
Lightning fast, it came up to me and fired a beam in my direction. But the remote wasn't fast enough. With the certainty of a sleepwalker, I fended off the beam that was to strike me.  
From both men came an appreciative whistle. I didn't let myself be distracted, but went back to the basic stance and waited for the next attack. And I shouldn't wait long. This time the spiteful device attacked me from behind. In a flash, I turned and blocked this attack. Again and again, the training remote tried to penetrate my defense - without success.  
Then Luke deactivated the remote. He looked at me incredulously.  
"How did you do that, Nomi? When I first faced such a device under the supervision of Obi-Wan, I was hit more than once. And then I had also to endure Han's mockery."  
Also Dash looked at me aghast. I shrugged.  
"I don't know, Luke. Somehow I knew where the training remote would attack next. Maybe it's the instincts of an experienced fighter."  
Luke looked at me thoughtfully.  
"Yes, perhaps. Maybe it's something else. If you're not too tired, I would like to try something. I must have certainty."  
"No, I'm not tired."  
Luke went into his bedroom and came back with a helmet that had an opaque visor.  
"I want you to don this helmet."  
I shook my head.  
"But then I'm completely blind. I can't fight when wearing this helmet, Luke."  
"That's just what I want to find out. Just don the helmet, we'll see what happens."  
I reluctantly donned the helmet and activated my lightsaber. Immediately I heard the hum of the training remote. I wondered where it would try to attack. And then I saw it. I saw it clearly in front of me despite the opaque visor.  
It wanted to attack me from the left side. I turned in that direction and blocked the beam. No matter which direction the attack took place, I parried each attack successfully.  
"Enough for today, Nomi. I've seen enough."  
I deactivated my saber and doffed the helmet.  
"How did you do this?"  
"I don't know, Luke. It was as if I could almost see the remote. But that's nonsense, no one but a Jedi can do that. Maybe I could see the device through the Force abilities of my daughter. She didn't want her mother hurt and helped me. Yes, that's how it must have been."  
Luke shook his head.  
"I don't believe it this time. There was no reason for Tasherit to protect you. You weren't really in danger, Nomi. I would like to do a last test with you. There is a way to determine whether someone has the potential to become a Jedi. For that I have to penetrate your mind with my mind and find a specific point. It may not be quite pleasant, but I ask you to allow me to do this."  
I backed away from Luke.  
"No, Luke. Please leave me alone. I don't want that."

Dash had calmly listened to our conversation, and now he stood up and came to me.  
"Please, Nomi, let Luke do this test. I want to be sure. A long time I suspect that you are Force sensitive. I never really believed that I was the cause of our Force sensitive offspring."  
"All right then. Luke I'm ready for the test. Begin."  
Luke stood in front of me and focused. I felt his mind slowly enter my own mind. It wasn't as uncomfortable a feeling as it was then when Vader had read my mind.  
He carefully felt his way deeper and deeper, suddenly he gasped and staggered back. He almost fell, but he managed to prevent the drop. Dash hurried to him.  
"What is, Luke?"  
I also went to Luke.  
"I didn't do anything. What was that, Luke?"  
My childhood friend looked at me kindly.  
"Yes, Nomi, you didn't do anything. You now have certainty, Dash. Your wife has the potential to become a Jedi. When I found the point I was looking for, I was pushed back. It's like when two identical poles of magnets meet. We should use this potential of your wife, Dash."  
"Hey, you can't just decide on me. I don't want this and I'm not Force sensitive. You have to be wrong, Luke. There has never been Jedi in my family."  
He laughed.  
"Well, then you'll be the first."  
"It's not funny, Luke. As if I don't already have enough problems."  
Luke became serious again.  
"You shouldn't let your skills go unused, Nomi. With your talent, you could be of great use to the Alliance. I beg you, don't reject what was given to you. Think about it, I'm sure you'll make the right decision."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Luke, I'll think about it. Tomorrow I can tell you how I've decided."

When I got back to our quarters with Dash, he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. Then, after looking at me silently for a long time, he said something that I hadn't expected.  
"I thought it over carefully and I came to a decision, Nomi. It is better if we break up. No, don't say anything now. Let me finish. You will soon be a Jedi. I'm not Force sensitive despite my Jedi ancestors. You need a companion who is equal to you. I - I'm not worthy of you. You deserve better than me. When the breakup is done, I want you to come together with Luke. From this connection many powerful Jedi will arise. I hope you'll get happy with Luke, Nomi."  
I wondered if he had lost his mind.  
"Damn, Dash! Are you become totally crazy? Why are you talking about breaking up? And why should you not be worthy of me? There is nothing better for me than you. I love you more than my life, Dash. Don't throw this love away easily. Have you forgotten that you've fathered three wonderful sons with me? I carry your fourth child and she'll also have the potential to become a Jedi. Why should I come together with Luke? I don't love Luke. He's like a brother to me. You are equal to me in many ways. I don't care that you can't use the Force, Dash. I need you, your love and your strength. I don't want to lose you."

Crying, I hugged my husband, who hesitantly began to caress me. Gently and lovingly his hands slid over my body. When he kissed me in desperation, I noticed that his face was wet with tears. I could barely hear him as he whispered something in my ear.  
"I need you too, Nomi. Your love has always given me strength in these difficult years. I hope you'll never regret that you stayed with me. With you and the children, for the first time in my life, I have learned what happiness is. I love you more than I can say, Nomi."  
I tenderly took his face in my hands and kissed away his tears.  
"Come to bed, Dash. It was a tough day for both of us. We can continue talking tomorrow."


	57. Dagobah Base

The next morning I woke up late. Something was wrong.  
I felt for Dash. His side of the bed was empty and cold. I called him, but I didn't get an answer. He was gone.  
I went into the kitchen, where I found Leebo.  
"Where's my husband, Leebo?"  
The droid looked at me.  
"Is Lieutenant Rendar not there?"  
I had to try not to lose patience.  
"No, otherwise I wouldn't ask. He must be gone for hours. Didn't he tell you where he is going?"  
"No, Captain Darklighter."  
If he had Leebo left behind, he couldn't be far away. Suddenly I had an idea where Dash could be.  
"Leebo, please feed the little ones, I'll be back soon."

I went to the small clearing near Yoda's hut. There I found my husband sleeping under a tree.  
Quietly, I went to him and sat next to him. Apparently I was not quiet enough, because Dash woke up. He looked at me with sleepy eyes and smiled.  
"Good morning, sweetheart."  
"Good morning, Dash. Did you spend the whole night here?"  
Irritated, he looked around and then nodded.  
"Yes, I didn't want to disturb you. I couldn't sleep and tossed about in the bed. Surely I would have woken you up. You've told me so many times that this place helps you with your decisions, that's why I went here. I was hoping it would be the same with me."  
"Didn't you think that I'm worried about you after yesterday, when I wake up in the morning and you're not lying next to me?"  
He looked at me with a disarming smile.  
"No, to be honest."  
"And did you at least come to a decision?"  
He nodded.  
"Yes, Nomi. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter how long or short it is. What I said yesterday. I don't know why I said this. Maybe I was afraid that you would leave me and I wanted to preempt you. The break up wouldn't have hurt me so much. If you're a Jedi, you're so far above me..."  
I interrupted him.  
"You're talking nonsense again, Dash. Listen to me carefully, please. I am your wife and nothing can change this. Being a Jedi doesn't change my feelings for you. How many times should I tell you that I love you? For you I will always remain the Nomi who I am now. Did you finally understand that? You're more stubborn than all Banthas from Tatooine, Dash Rendar!"  
He pulled me close.  
"I love it when you're so angry, darling. Then you're even prettier than usual."  
My anger fumed away slowly. Dash could sometimes make me livid. I had to learn to control myself.  
"Come, Dash, let's go back. I'm sure you're hungry. I could eat half a Dewback at least."

After breakfast simulator exercises were scheduled.  
Again it was the planned offensive to liberate Coruscant. It ended just as disastrous as the first time. Wedge lost his temper during the subsequent debriefing.  
"What the hell's wrong with you? Are you Rogues or Jawas? You can't fight anymore. The long stay on this peaceful planet has made you fat, lazy and lethargic. If you continue like that, I'll have to put together a new Rogue Squadron after the next fight because you're all gone. I'll talk to Admiral Ackbar today, Rogue Squadron needs a new mission. Dismissed."

When we were back in our quarters, I finally could take care of my children. It was a pleasure to watch them discover their world. They were really three smart little guys. It was hard to believe how fast they could crawl to their destination. Everything was very interesting for them.  
At the age of nine months, understandable syllables were sometimes to be heard within their jabbering. Once Dash Jr. said the name Leebo. That gave me a pang. I had hoped that the first intelligible word of one of my children would be mama or papa. We had far too little time for our children.  
Dash sat next to me and couldn't get enough of his offspring. He picked Biggs up and tousled him lovingly through the brown curls.  
"Don't we have gorgeous sons, Nomi? I am constantly amazed at the little miracle that we have created in a cold night on Hoth. I'm sure they'll be able to walk soon."  
I laughed.  
"Oh, I think that will take a while, Dash."  
Biggs raised a vigorous protest. He wanted to join his brothers, who were busy by using the Force to let fly the X-wings and TIEs that Dash has built. I admired my children for their effortless use of the Force. The time with my children was much too short I had to go to Luke.

The practice session with the lightsaber was again a distress. Luke insisted that I wear the helmet with the opaque visor. I should use my skills in the Force. He was obsessed to make me a Jedi. As I sat completely exhausted next to him, I asked him the question that had been for a while in my mind.  
"Can I ask you something, Luke?"  
"Of course, Nomi."  
"Why didn't your father on Vjun realize that I'm Force sensitive? He said I had nothing of a Jedi except of my name."  
Luke thought about it and after a while he found an answer.  
"I think your sons have with their exceptionally strong presence in the Force, overlaid your weaker presence. You can be glad that that was the case. My father would have otherwise tried to convert you to the dark side. If he hadn't succeeded, he would have killed you."  
I knew all too well that Luke was right. That's what would have happened if Vader had noticed that I'm Force sensitive.


	58. Dagobah Base

I already trained four standard weeks with the lightsaber.  
Because I was now in the 8th month of my pregnancy, I was no longer allowed to fly in an X-wing. It must have been a strange sight when I wielded the saber despite my baby bump. But Luke and Dash insisted that I continue to do the exercises. I always had to fight with my visor closed. It was very tiring. Everything was so easy the first time. Now that I knew that I could use the Force, it was incredibly difficult for me.

Now there was again a day when nothing worked. Luke stood in front of me and shook his head uncomprehending.  
"I don't know what's wrong with you, Nomi. Do you not listen to what I tell you? You must surrender yourself completely to the Force. Don't think about what you are doing. Just follow your instincts."  
"You can talk, Luke. When I see how easy it is for the triplets to use the Force, I wonder why I don't succeed."  
"Your children are more unbiased, Nomi. For them it's natural to use the talent given to them.  
You just think too much and thus are blocking the flow of the Force. I would suggest we continue now."

I donned the helmet again, activated my lightsaber, and tried to open myself to the Force.  
Nothing. The beam of the training remote hit me on the left upper arm.  
"Nomi, you must let go. Give yourself to the Force."  
"Damn, Luke, I can't!"  
Slowly he made me angry. And then I felt the Force. I saw the spiteful sphere and struck.  
As I removed the helmet, I saw Luke standing shocked next to the two halves of the destroyed training remote.  
"Sorry, I didn't want to destroy the remote, Luke."  
He looked at me seriously.  
"Do you know what you just did, Nomi?"  
I shook my head.  
"You have opened yourself to the dark side of the Force."  
The saber slipped from my grasp and I covered my face with my hands. A chasm yawned. Unknowingly, I had made the first step on the dark path that was Luke's father's undoing.  
"Please, Luke, say that's not true. I don't want to be like your father. Never again do I want to wield a lightsaber or use the Force. I'm scared, Luke."  
He tried to calm me down.  
"Nomi, you don't have to be scared. If you keep calm and remain passive nothing can happen to you. Then you will be able to distinguish the light side from the dark side. Yoda once told me that a Jedi uses the Force only for knowledge and defense. He'll never use the Force for attack. Calm down. If you are so upset you harm Tasherit. You don't want her to be born too early like your sons."  
"Tell me the truth, Luke, have I harmed my daughter with the use of the dark side?"  
"I don't know, Nomi. The future must show whether this brief moment has had an impact. Come lay down for a while. Relax. You are completely tense. I'll tell Dash to pick you up."  
When he wanted to go to the intercom, I took him by the arm.  
"Please, Luke, don't tell Dash what just happened. He already has enough trouble coping with his wife being a Jedi."  
Luke nodded.  
"I won't tell your husband, Nomi. Don't worry. Although I think that you shouldn't bear the burden of knowing the possible effects on your daughter alone. Tomorrow I will teach you some relaxation techniques."  
Then he went to the intercom.  
"Dash? Here's Luke. Please pick Nomi up, she doesn't feel well."

When my husband entered Luke's quarters, his gaze fell on the debris of the training remote. He stared at me. I felt that he knew what had happened. He said nothing, but picked me up and carried me to our quarters after he said goodbye to Luke. There he laid me gently on the bed.  
"Tell me what happened, Nomi."  
I shook my head.  
"Please, darling, trust me. What happened? Why were there these rubble? Don't you remember that we promised each other to never have any secrets?"  
Sobbing I clung to him. Lovingly, he stroked my hair.  
"It's alright, Nomi. Now tell me what happened."  
Hesitantly I began to tell him, and when I finished, Dash looked at me thoughtfully.  
"I'll talk to Luke. It is better if you stop practicing with the lightsaber until the birth of our daughter. Surely there are exercises that are less dangerous. It might be better if you learn these Jedi relaxation techniques. Maybe it will make the birth easier for you. I remember with horror how much you suffered when the triplets were born. I don't know if I would endure the pain you endured. It almost broke my heart when I heard your screams and saw the pain in your eyes. And now you must go through this pain again soon."  
I wiped the tears from my face and smiled at Dash.  
"Yes, the pain was almost unbearable, but it were worth it. Look at our sons, Dash. Moreover Tasherit will be born here on Dagobah. The med bay is well equipped. Surely there is a way to ease the pain in childbirth, Dash. I'm not going to suffer the same way as when I gave birth to the triplets in hyperspace, I'm sure. Don't worry. I am happy to give birth to your children because I love you and our children are a part of you."  
Dash kissed me tenderly, then he stood up and walked to the door.  
"I'm going to Luke now and I'll tell him that you'll stop practicing with the lightsaber for now. It won't take long. Try to sleep."

I actually slept until the next morning.


	59. Dagobah Base

Luke had changed the training program. He taught the Jedi relaxation techniques to me now.  
With these techniques, it was much easier to open up to the Force.  
I did light levitation exercises like floating leaves and lifting small stones. Then there was another exercise that gave me a lot of pleasure. To shape sand figures with the help of the Force. I often took the triplets with me, who followed with wide eyes what their mother did. My husband watched me during my exercises if his duties in Rogue Squadron allowed it.

One day the whole family was around me when I did the exercise with the stones. Suddenly the stone moved steadily toward Corran and I couldn't get it back in the direction I wanted. When the stone was within reach, my youngest took it and smiled at me.  
"Mama, mine."  
With ten months, the first of my sons has said clearly understandable words. Dash didn't trust his ears.  
"Did I hear right? Corran speaks? Then it won't be long before Dash Jr. and Biggs speak."  
Luke sat next to it and was happy with us.

A little later, we all had to gather in the large meeting room because Admiral Ackbar wanted to speak to us.  
As he stepped in front of the assembled Alliance members, the general murmur fell silent. He looked briefly at our ranks and began to speak.  
"The High Command has decided to abandon the base on Dagobah. It is dangerous to stay permanently in one place unless the last remnant of the Empire is destroyed. In three standard days the base will be relocated on a planet in the Anoat system. We will begin loading the transport ships today. We will form a convoy. The fighters of Rogue Squadron, B-Wing squadron and Y-Wing squadron be employed as an escort. Tomorrow the coordinates will be stored in the navcomputer. That's all. Dismissed."

The excitement about this announcement was great.  
For me, that decision meant that my daughter wouldn't be born on Dagobah. In a baffled way I looked at my husband.  
"What shall we do now, Dash? In two standard weeks, I'll give birth to our daughter. In my condition I'm not allowed to fly an X-wing. But we can't stay here either."  
"I've an idea, Nomi. You aren't allowed to fly an X-wing, but you can still fly a freighter. We both have our space freighters here. One of it can be transported by a frigate and the other will be flown by you and Leebo. Unfortunately, I can't come with you, as I will certainly be assigned as escort for the transport ships. If you take one of our freighters, the problem of how our triplets are transported is also solved. Still trust yourself to do this, darling?"  
I nodded.  
"Of course, Dash. If Leebo is with me, nothing can happen to me. If I can choose, I want to take the Outrider. She has stronger shields and is heavier armed than my old Aquarius."  
Dash laughed.  
"You can have the Outrider, Nomi. Only the best for my wife. You never know what you meet on the way. Hello, Luke!"  
Luke came to us.  
"Hi, Nomi. Hi, Dash. Looks like all our planning is obsolete. Let's hope that we arrive at our destination without incident. We're assigned together to escort the transport ships, Dash. I'll fly with Nomi's X-wing. What is Nomi flying with?"  
Instead of Dash, I answered.  
"I take the Outrider with Leebo as a copilot, Luke. We can give the children a ride without any problems."  
Luke nodded.  
"Good. I must go now, there's still much to prepare. Don't forget to do your exercises, Nomi."  
I laughed.  
"No, Luke, I won't forget them, I promise."

Dash had to check his X-Wing and since I had nothing to do, I went to my favorite spot. I sat under the tree and closed my eyes. I would miss this place very much. Something similar I would probably find nowhere. It was hard for me to say goodbye to Dagobah.


	60. Dagobah Base

The last two days had been filled with busy activity. It hummed like in a piranha beetles nest.  
The entire equipment of the base had to be loaded into the transport ships.  
Due to my pregnancy, I could not participate in the work. I had to narrow down to packing our few possessions. Leebo helped me a lot. I was really very cumbersome and wasn't allowed to lift heavy objects. Unfortunately my skills in the Force weren't sufficient to lift large, heavy objects and to transport to another location. I had done my exercises, as I promised Luke, despite the atmosphere of departure. It was getting better and better. I now got very fast access to the Force, perhaps I was on the right track.  
I had barely seen Dash lately because he was constantly attending briefings for the fighter flying escort for the transport ships. When he came back to our quarters, I mostly already slept.

Then came the day of farewell to Dagobah.  
The Aquarius was loaded into the transport ship Rebel Dream. Leebo and Dash had carried the triplets in the Outrider and tucked them in bed in one of the bunks. Dash hugged me goodbye.  
"Take care of yourself and the children, Nomi. We'll meet again in the Anoat system. So, until then and may the Force be with you."  
"With you too, Dash."  
Then my husband went to his X-wing. I went back to my children and strapped them for the takeoff in their bed.  
"Come, Leebo, we must takeoff."  
The droid followed me into the cockpit. After the preflight check, we ascended into Dagobah's orbit. There we waited for the other spaceships that formed up slowly to a convoy. Around us the escort fighters were flying, I recognized my X-wing flown by Luke. He had put his faithful droid R2-D2 in the place that otherwise Fuzzy belonged in. My astromech made the flight on a transport ship. Then I heard Luke's voice via com.  
"Hello, Nomi. Everything all right with you and the triplets?"  
"Yes, here all is well. Hey, Luke, no scratches on my X-wing."  
Luke laughed.  
"I will try, after all, I don't want any trouble with you."  
Then Dash intruded.  
"Yes, if you have trouble with Nomi, that's not very pleasant. I'm talking from experience."  
I couldn't help laughing.  
"Hey, Dash, if you keep to belittle me, you're the one who'll have trouble with me. Just wait until we meet again in the Anoat system."  
Suddenly, an X-wing appeared next to me, flying a daring corkscrew maneuver.  
"Hi, sister. What do you say about my flying skills?"  
"Damn, Gavin, who taught you that? You're almost as crazy as your brother-in-law. Dash was that you?"  
Instead of Dash, Wedge answered.  
"No, Nomi, this time your husband is completely innocent. I taught him. Your little brother isn't a bad pilot. The talent for flying is probably in your family."  
Also my other comrades from the Rogue Squadron got in touch to me gradually.  
A particularly warm greeting came from the crew of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie roared so loud into the com that almost all the wires were blown. Then I heard Han's voice.  
"Hey, Chewie don't ruin our com. Hello, Nomi! Good flight and keep a stiff upper lip! Make sure that you this time give birth to your child on a planet."  
I laughed.  
"I'll try, Han. Is Leia with you?"  
"Yes, of course I am with Han, Nomi. I would also like to wish you a good flight. May the Force be with you."  
It was nice to be surrounded by my friends.

When all of the ships were in orbit, came from the Home One Admiral Ackbar's command to jump into hyperspace once we left the planet's gravitational shadow.  
I took one last look at Dagobah. Then we jumped into hyperspace.


	61. Somewhere in Hyperspace

After the jump into hyperspace, I gave Leebo control of the Outrider since I wanted to take care of the triplets.  
The little ones weren't, as I had hoped, peacefully in their bed. Somehow they had succeeded in loosening the belts with which they were strapped in. Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran crawled cheerfully on the bed, somehow trying to come down to explore the freighter.  
With their age of ten months, they had an uncanny urge to move. I was pretty sure that it won't be long before they would make their first steps.  
I sat down on the bed next to my three sons. Corran came immediately to me and tried to get on my lap. This turned out to be a bit difficult because my baby bump was in the way. He began to cry heartbreakingly.  
"Mama, arm."  
I gave my youngest a cuddle and he immediately stopped crying. Satisfied, he put his thumb in his mouth. Next came Dash Jr. and also wanted to cuddle with me. Demanding he stretched his little arms toward me and then my eldest spoke the first understandable words.  
"Mama, arm."  
Now Biggs didn't want to stand back and also crawled toward me. He cried at once, because it seemed to him that he couldn't cuddle with his mother. But Biggs was resourceful, somehow he managed to lay his little head on my lap. He looked at me with a satisfied expression and he too spoke his first understandable words.  
"Mama, kind."  
Then, like Corran, he put his thumb in his mouth.  
I regretted that my husband wasn't with us in this beautiful moment. He would have been very happy to witness how his sons speak the first words. Since I could rely on Leebo, I finally had enough time to look after my children. I played with them and then did my exercises, as Luke had asked me. The little ones looked at me with big eyes and tried to imitate the exercises.  
They were really talented. When they worked together, they managed to raise a small hydro spanner with the Force.  
It was really amazing what they were capable of at this tender age. When I finished my exercises, Biggs smiled at me.  
"Mama, story."  
Dash Jr. and Corran joined in.  
"Mama, story."  
I picked my children up one by one and put them to bed. Then I told them the story of Nomi Sunrider, the great Jedi, after whom I was named. When I reached the middle of the story, the three had fallen asleep.

I went to Leebo in the cockpit.  
"Is everything alright, Leebo?"  
The droid looked over at me.  
"Of course, Captain Darklighter. We are on the right track. In twelve standard hours we should have reached the Anoat system."  
Twelve standard hours, that meant I could rest for a while.  
"I'll sleep a little. Please wake me up when we come out of hyperspace."  
Leebo nodded.  
"Yes, Captain Darklighter."  
I looked at the droid.  
"Would you mind if you don't call me Captain Darklighter?"  
He looked at me irritated, as far as this is possible for a droid.  
"How should I call you, Captain Darklighter?"  
I smiled at him.  
"We've known each other for so long, Leebo, just call me Nomi."  
The droid nodded slowly.  
"As you wish, Captain Darklighter - er, Nomi."  
I went back to the bunk and lay down in the second bed. Dash Jr. was awake and looked at me with big brown eyes.  
"Mama, arm."  
I stood up and took my eldest son into bed with me. Satisfied, he curled up.  
"Papa?"  
I assumed that he wanted to know where Dash was.  
"Your Papa is out there in hyperspace. He takes care, along with your uncle Gavin and many other good women and men, that nothing happens to us."  
Suddenly the little guy reached out his hand and laid it carefully on my baby bump. He looked questioningly at me as he felt the movements of his unborn sister.  
"Yes, Dash, there's your little sister Tasherit in there. She will be born in two standard weeks. You and your brothers were also once in my belly and now you are so big. Your father and I are looking forward to the baby."  
Dash Jr. smiled.  
"Baby"  
Then he fell asleep. I carried him cautiously back to his brothers and lay down again.

"Nomi, wake up. We'll drop out of hyperspace soon."  
I heard Leebo's voice via intercom. I got up and went into the cockpit.  
"Shields up, Leebo. You never know what's waiting for you when dropping out of hyperspace."  
"I already did that. Dash always comes with the shields up out of hyperspace. An old habit from our time as smugglers."  
I had to laugh. Dash and I were really very similar.  
"Why are you laughing, Nomi?"  
Oh, no particular reason, Leebo."

Then the signal came and we fell back into normal space.  
Beside, in front of and behind us, the convoy's spaceships appeared. Right next to the Outrider was Dash's X-wing. He actually managed to stay close to us in hyperspace.  
"Hello Darling. Welcome to the Anoat system."  
We actually arrived safely at our destination.  
"Do you see this little planet, Nomi? There, the Alliance will set up its new base. But without us."  
I wondered what my husband meant by that.  
"Why without us, Dash? What is that supposed to mean? We are needed here. We can't just go away."  
"Don't bother, darling. It's all arranged with Admiral Ackbar and Wedge. You can't help here anyway. They agreed that we fly to Tatooine. Our daughter should be born there. Here the medical conditions can't be created as fast as you'll need them. Tatooine is safe. The Imperial garrison no longer exists. Everything will be fine this time. We will land on this little planet, say goodbye to our friends and leave for Tatooine. Just follow me."

After we landed on the planet, Dash came to me.  
"How are the triplets? And above all, how are you and Tasherit?"  
"We're all fine, Dash. Come, I've something to show you."  
I took him by the hand and pulled him to the bunk. Our sons had just woken up and nearly in unison came from them the word that conjured a smile on their father's face.  
"Papa"


	62. Anoat System

It wasn't going the way Dash had expected for our trip to Tatooine.  
Our medi droid insisted to examine me again. He shook his head.  
"No, Captain Darklighter, you can't make the trip to Tatooine anymore. As it stands, the birth will begin in a few hours. I'm sorry, your daughter will have to be born here."  
I looked at 2-1B bewildered.  
"But why? The calculated date of birth should be in two standard weeks."  
Dash stood by and didn't trust his ears.  
"This can't be true, 2-1B. Here can't be properly cared for Nomi. There is no med bay on this planet. What is the name anyway?"  
2-1B looked at us.  
"I can't tell you what the planet's name is. It seems your children are always in a hurry to be born. Captain Darklighter will receive the best medical attention, Lieutenant Rendar. Here in the medical frigate is everything that is necessary. Trust me, everything will be fine."  
"I hope so. I don't want my wife to have to suffer needlessly in childbirth. The birth of the triplets in hyperspace was hard enough. Nomi shouldn't have to suffer like that again."  
Lovingly my husband looked at me at these words.  
"It will not be so bad this time, I promise you. The fact that your wife has already given birth will make it much easier for her. Besides, it's just one child this time. Do you want to be there at the birth of your daughter, Lieutenant Rendar?"  
Dash nodded.  
"Of course I want to be there."  
Then my husband turned to me.  
"I'll be right back, darling, after I tell Leebo to take care of the triplets."

Two hours later I felt the first contractions and Dash accompanied me to the delivery room of the medical frigate. 2-1B was already waiting for us. My husband took him aside.  
"I have a request, 2-1B."  
"Yes, Lieutenant Rendar?"  
"I want to help my daughter to come in this galaxy. She shouldn't feel the gripper arms of a droid as the first impression of her new surroundings."  
The medi droid looked at him.  
"Well, that is a somewhat unusual request, but you did a good job of helping your wife during the birth of the triplets. There is nothing wrong with that. Besides, I'm there in case there are unexpected complications."

The contractions came in ever shorter intervals and my waters have broken. I sensed that Tasherit didn't quite agree with what was happening to her. She didn't want to leave the protection of my belly. But this was the point of no return. The contractions got more and more intense. Thanks to the Jedi relaxation techniques I hardly had pain. As if from a distance I heard Dash's voice.  
"You have to push, my love. Yes, that's good. I can already see the head of our daughter. You made it soon."  
Another fierce expulsive pain and our daughter slipped out of my womb into her father's hands. He picked up the baby and laid it on my belly. It was still connected by the umbilical cord with me. I tenderly stroked my daughters head.  
"Welcome, little Tasherit."  
Then 2-1B approached us and severed the umbilical cord. At that moment, our daughter made the first cry.  
"Congratulations, Captain Darklighter, you gave birth to a healthy daughter."  
Dash took his child and carried it to the small refresher to clean it. When he was done, he put our daughter in my arms. He kissed my sweaty face lovingly.  
"I thank you for the gift you made me, Nomi. You can't know what this child means to me."  
Dash took me back to my room, where I fell asleep exhausted.

When I woke up, my husband was sitting by my bed proudly holding our newborn daughter in his arms. Gently, he rocked the little girl and hummed softly to himself. I looked at him in astonishment. With the birth of our daughter, the last traces of the cynical, selfish mercenary and smuggler Dash Rendar disappeared. Tasherit was hungry and started crying. Dash gave Tasherit to me and I was nursing my child while he calmly and thoughtfully sat next to me.  
Suddenly tears ran down his face.  
"What is it, Dash? You should be happy."  
He wiped the tears away.  
"I'm happy. Excuse me, but I just had a memory of the past."  
I looked at him questioningly.  
"What bothers you, Dash? Don't you want to tell me?"  
First he shook his head and then he began to speak.  
"Didn't you ever wonder why I wanted to have a daughter with you?"  
"Sometimes, Dash. You were obsessed with this idea."  
"I never told you much about my past, Nomi. Therefore you can't know that I have once loved a woman as much as you. This woman, her name was Tasherit Goranan, was from Alderaan. She was beautiful. We fell in love and she became pregnant by me. She expected my daughter. One day, just in the sixth month of her pregnancy, stormtroopers invaded our house in search of Rebels. I was smuggling Spice from Kessel for Jabba and wasn't there to defend her. I - I should never see Tasherit again. Neighbors told me that the stormtroopers killed Tasherit when she couldn't tell them anything. With her my unborn daughter also died. All of a sudden all my desires and hopes were destroyed. I thought I would never be able to recover from this second heavy stroke of fate. Over time, I built a wall of indifference. Never again did I want to be vulnerable through my feelings. But then you crossed my path, Nomi.  
When our sons were born, I constantly had the image of my daughter in mind, who was never born. Please forgive me for naming our child after my dead love."  
I tenderly stroked his hand.  
"There's nothing to forgive, Dash. I'm not jealous of your past. Tasherit is a very beautiful name and our daughter will probably be just as pretty as the woman she's named after."

In the meantime our daughter had fallen asleep on my breast. I woke her with a gentle pat and she sucked noisily on. When she finished her meal, I could put her after a short time in her bed, which stood next to my bed.  
Dash stood up and gave me a kiss.  
"I thank you for everything, my love. Sleep well. Tomorrow I will come back and bring the triplets to meet their sister."


	63. Anoat

I was nursing my daughter when there was a knock.  
"Come in, Dash."  
But it wasn't my husband, it was Wedge. I hadn't expected him here so early in the morning.  
"Hello, Nomi. Well, how is the young mother? Does all went well? Dash had some fun yesterday with your brother, Luke, Han, Leia, Chewie, and me when celebrating the birth of your daughter. He'll be right there."  
I smiled at Wedge.  
"As you can see, I'm fine. The birth was much easier than with the triplets. Tasherit has a healthy appetite."  
Wedge laughed.  
"Yes, you can see it, and above all you can hear it."

At that moment my husband came in with the triplets and Leebo.  
"Good morning, darling. Hi, Wedge. So, my little ones, this is your sister Tasherit. Do you like her?"  
With big brown eyes my sons looked at the baby at my breast. Corran smiled and held out his small hands.  
"Baby"  
My other two sons began to whine in Dash's arms. They wanted to be on the bed.  
"Oh, let them come to me, Dash. Come, give them to me."  
My husband carefully placed our two eldest sons on the bed. Timidly, they reached out their little hands and clumsily stroked their sister. Dash Jr. looked at me questioningly.  
"Herit?"  
He had problems pronouncing the name of his sister.  
"Yes, that's your sister Tasherit."  
Corran vigorously demanded that Leebo put him on the bed to his siblings.  
"Leebo, bed."  
The droid has put my youngest next to his brothers. Slowly resembled my bed a besieged fortress.

When Luke came in he had to laugh.  
"Good morning, Nomi. You're lucky you don't have more children."  
He came closer and looked at Tasherit thoroughly.  
"So this is my fourth future pupil. She really is, just like her brothers, very strong in the Force."  
Tasherit was finally full and satisfied. I tuck her in the bed.  
Dash Jr. had apparently become bored on the bed. He crawled towards the edge of the bed and before I was able to catch hold of him, he had slipped down and stood on his wobbly legs. But not for long. He lost his balance and fell on his butt, which caused a deafening scream of him. My husband picked him up and comforted him.  
I didn't believe my eyes when Corran and Biggs followed their brother's example. However, with the same outcome.  
But I was convinced that with time they would be able to stand better. It won't be long before they would make the first tentative steps at the hands of their parents.

Wedge and Luke soon parted with us because they had to return to the planet.  
When they had left my little brother stormed in.  
"Hello, Nomi. Where's my little niece?"  
He went to Tasherit's bed.  
"Really a very pretty baby. You both did that well. May I lift her up?"  
Before I or Dash could answer, he had already lifted her from the bed. With a caution that I won't have expected of my somewhat wild brother, he held our daughter in his arms.  
"Hello, little girl. Welcome in this wonderful galaxy."  
He began to rock Tasherit gently in his arms. Our daughter seemed to like it. She chortled quietly and put her little thumb into her mouth.  
Gavin looked at me proudly.  
"You see, sis, she loves her uncle."  
I had to laugh.  
"I do not want to rob you of your illusions, brother, but Tasherit loves anyone who rocks her in the arms. But most of all, she loves me because I'm her food source. By the way, you can make yourself useful. It's time to change the diapers."  
His eyes were popping out of his head.  
"Who? I?"  
"Yes, of course you. It's time for you to learn that. Eventually you will have your own children sooner or later. Your future wife will one day be grateful to me."  
My little brother looked desperately at my husband.  
"But I can't do it. Say something, Dash. You can't leave your brother in law in the lurch."  
Dash shrugged and couldn't suppress a laugh.  
"Nomi's right, Gavin. This early practice only makes the master. So boy, start."  
I could no longer see my little brother suffering.  
"C'mon, hand over your niece, Gavin. I'll change her diapers."  
He was relieved and gave me the baby.  
While I changed Tasherit' diapers, my brother watched with interest.  
"Dash, I think our sons' diapers also need to be changed. Please be so nice. Leebo can help you."  
My husband, unlike his brother-in-law, set to work without grumbling. But eventually he had already many months of practice. When all our children were changed, my husband and brother took their leave of me. They had to attend the briefing which was to take place at 1500.  
They took the triplets and Leebo along and I was alone again with Tasherit.

The next morning I was able to leave the medical frigate with my newborn daughter. My husband picked us up with the Outrider to take us to Anoat.  
The planet on which the new base of the Alliance will be set up, gave the system its name. Hurriedly, the first buildings were erected.  
Dash was carrying his daughter in his arms and took me to a small house, which, like all buildings of the base, consisted of self-forming components.  
"Welcome, darling. I hope you like the house."  
Well, I've seen nicer houses, but I didn't want to dampen Dash's joy.  
"Yes, Dash, it is very nice. Come let's go in."  
Inside, I was eagerly awaited by my sons. They walked to me on very shaky legs. I knew that from now on nothing would be safe from them.  
They clung to my legs and I lifted them one at a time to kiss them.  
Biggs looked at me questioningly.  
"Mama, stays?"  
Lovingly, I stroked his brown curls.  
"Of course I will stay here now Biggs."  
Dash Jr. tugged at my pants leg. I bent down to him.  
"Mama, see baby."  
Dash had already tucked our daughter in her bed, that also Wedge had built. Also Corran started to tug at my pants leg.  
"Corran also see baby, Mama."  
I took the little guy in my arms and carried him with his brother Biggs to their sister's bed. My husband followed me with Dash Jr. in his arms. The triplets looked down at their sister.  
"Herit, sweet, Mama."  
Dash Jr. really had trouble pronouncing his sister's name correctly. I nodded in agreement.  
"Yes, Dash, your sister Tasherit is really a cute baby. But you three are also very cute. I love you all four."  
Then Leebo came in.  
"Welcome home, Nomi. I am glad that you're finally here again."  
"Hey, Leebo, you old bucket of bolts, how are you talking to my wife? For you it's still Captain Darklighter."  
I tapped my husband on the shoulder.  
"Uh, Dash. You're doing Leebo wrong. I've asked him on the flight hither to drop this form of address and to call me Nomi."  
Dash was flabbergasted.  
"You did what? Now this droid will act up with you, sweetheart."  
I laughed.  
"Well, we'll see. I don't think that he'll take advantage of that."  
"No, I won't, Nomi. Dash is wrong if he thinks that of me."  
The droid turned on his heel and disappeared into the kitchen.  
"I think you've offended Leebo, Dash."  
My husband shrugged.  
"Hey, what do you want? Leebo's just a droid, Nomi."

In the afternoon, Leia, Han and Chewie came to see our daughter. They had C-3PO with them, who immediately went to the kitchen to chat with Leebo.  
Han clapped Dash on the shoulder.  
"Dash, old buddy, I congratulate you on your princess. Is your family planning now complete or should more children follow?"  
Dash looked at me before he answered Han.  
"To be honest, Han, I would like to have more children. But Nomi doesn't want more. She has the opinion that four children are enough."  
Leia looked lovingly at my daughter, who was asleep in her bed.  
"I agree with Nomi. You have four beautiful children. You must consider that a pregnancy demands a lot from a woman's body. Let these four be enough for your wife's sake, Dash."  
Tasherit had woken up and chortled softly to herself.  
Leia picked her up and rocked her in her arms. Han looked lovingly at her.  
"I hope you will soon hold our own child so tenderly in your arms, Leia."  
"I don't have time for own children, Han. Besides, we aren't married yet."  
Han looked at her mischievously.  
"That one can change. Who says you have to be married to have children? If I remember correctly, it works without a marriage as well. Dash and Nomi weren't married when Nomi became pregnant."  
Leia glared at him.  
"You are impossible, Han. I shouldn't get involved with a scoundrel like you."  
Han grinned.  
"Hey, Your Worship, that's almost like in old times."  
Chewie stood by and laughed a roaring Wookiee laugh.  
"Laugh it up, fuzzball. You'll see, one day Leia will be the mother of my children."  
After Chewbacca had calmed down a bit, he asked me in Shyriiwook if he could take Tasherit in his arms.  
"Of course, Chewie."  
He stretched out his paws and Leia gave him our daughter. It was a strange feeling to see this little human being in the arms of a giant Wookiee. When he had looked at Tasherit for a while, he handed her back to me.  
"You have a pretty daughter, Nomi. She seems to come after you. If so, then she becomes a great warrior. I've heard that she, like your sons, has the potential to become a Jedi. You be also thought to be a potential Jedi. Is this true?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Chewie, it's true. Luke trains me to become a Jedi. If my children are old enough, he will also teach them the ways of the Force."  
"That's good, Nomi. The Galaxy urgently needs new Jedi who watch over peace and justice.  
I would like to suggest that you also send Tasherit to Kashyyyk when she is old enough. Together with her brothers, she can learn everything about survival in the jungle. I almost think that she'll be strong enough to handle a bowcaster."

The topic of our conversation started crying because she was hungry.  
Our friends and 3PO said goodbye to us. At the door, Leia turned and came back to me.  
"Do you have time tomorrow, Nomi? I have to speak to you alone."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Leia. Come tomorrow morning, then Dash has a combat exercise with Rogue Squadron. We can then talk undisturbed."

When everyone had left, I sat down in a chair and nursed my daughter. My husband played at my feet with his sons. I wondered what Leia wanted to talk about with me.


	64. Anoat Base

After he had breakfast with me Dash went to the landing pad to prepare his X-wing.  
I had just changed the diapers of my children when Leia came.  
"Good morning, Nomi. Are you alone?"  
I nodded.  
"Good morning, Leia. Yes, as you can see, apart from the children and Leebo, I am alone. What's so important that nobody else should hear?"  
"Send also Leebo away with the triplets."  
Leia was really very secretive.  
"Leebo!"  
The droid came out of an adjacent room.  
"Yes, Nomi?"  
"Go play with the triplets outside. But be careful that they don't run too far. I don't want to have to look for them somewhere in the forest, Leebo."  
Leebo grabbed Dash Jr. and Biggs and picked them up.  
"Of course, Nomi. C'mon, Corran, let's go play outside. Your Mama wants to be alone with Princess Leia."  
The droid went out and Corran hurried to keep path with the droid despite his short legs.  
I turned to Leia.  
"Please take a seat. What do you want to tell me, Leia?"  
It seemed difficult for her to get started.  
"C'mon, Leia, what is it?"  
"When we were with you yesterday, you said that Luke trains you as a Jedi."  
"Yes, that's right, Leia. But I do not know,..."  
Leia interrupted me, what was unusual for her.  
"Do you even know what you're getting into, Nomi? My brother isn't a Jedi Master. He can't teach you. He didn't complete his training with Master Yoda. Once a Jedi believed he could train another without being a master. This was a fatal error and the Jedi he wanted to train paid the price. You know who the Jedi was who's training failed. My father. If Obi-Wan didn't been so presumptuous... I don't want that happens to you as well, Nomi. When that happens, I could never forgive Luke. It's dangerous to use the Force. How easy is it to become a victim of the dark side. Once you have gone this dark path, there is no return. Please, stop the Jedi training. Think of your children and your husband, they need you."  
I took Leia's hand.  
"I know that you are afraid to use the talent that you inherited from your father, Leia. You fear that you could become just like him. Luke told me. I also initially resisted to accept that I have the talent to use the Force. You don't have to be afraid that I fall victim of the dark side. I'm strong and will be able to resist all temptations. Your brother may not be a Jedi Master yet, but he's a very good teacher. I've learned a lot from him. I can't just break off my training now, Leia. There is something else you don't know. Luke foresaw that something threatens my family. Only if I continue my training, I can protect and defend my family. I have no choice."  
Leia looked at me with a strange expression.  
"My brother tells you a lot. He seems to be closer to you than to me. But you both grew up together. It's true, I'm afraid to use my father's legacy. I hope for you that everything will be fine. Forgive me for bothering you with my misgivings."  
She withdrew her hand and wanted to leave. I held her back.  
"Please stay, Leia. You're right with your concerns. The question of whether Luke is capable to train me, I've often asked myself. You didn't bother me."

Tasherit woke up and cried because she was hungry again. I took her out of her bed and gave her the breast. Satisfied smacking she began to suck.  
Leia stood up and walked to the door.  
"I really don't want to disturb you any longer, Nomi. I hope you and my brother are doing the right thing."  
"I hope so too, Leia. Are you so kind and tell Leebo that he can come back with the triplets?"  
She laughed.  
"Of course, Nomi. He will be happy about it. It's certainly easier to guard a sack of Tatooinian sand fleas than three little Jedi."  
I sighed.  
"Tell me about it."  
Shortly after the droid came with the triplets in tow into the house. They looked as if they had taken part of a commando unit training.  
"Oh, Leebo! You ought to be careful that they don't roam around in the woods. Come, we have to see how we get the dirt off."

After nursing their little sister, I grabbed the three and put them in the shower. When they were clean and dry again, they sat happy on the couch in the living room.  
Biggs loudly demanded: "Mama, story!"  
His brothers chimed in enthusiastically.  
"Yes, Mama, story!"  
Luckily, I remembered many stories and legends that my mother had told me in my childhood. This time I told my offspring about the Sith Wars. I was just at the end of my story, when I got a visit from the other Skywalker twin.  
"Hello, Nomi. Isn't this story a bit too brutal for such young listeners?"  
I shook my head.  
"No, Luke, I heard this story for the first time at the same age. As you can see, it didn't harm me. But why are you here?"  
He put a bundle in front of me.  
"I wanted to bring you this. C'mon, unpack it, Nomi."  
I carefully untied the lacing. It came out black pants made of rough fabric, a black catsuit, a black belt with gold buckle and a pair of black undecorated boots. I looked at Luke in astonishment.  
"I want you to wear these clothes while training. They'll remind you how close the light side and the dark side of the Force each other are. Tomorrow we'll continue with the training. I already talked to Dash about it. He agrees that you practice again with the lightsaber. Provided you feel strong enough. After all, the birth of your daughter was only three standard days ago."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, I feel strong enough to continue training, Luke. But does it have to be the lightsaber?"  
He looked at me seriously.  
"Yes, Nomi. You have to overcome your aversion to the saber. As a Jedi, you must be able to handle it. Besides, you mustn't forget that your life and that of your family can depend on your abilities."  
"I'll not forget it, Luke. Tomorrow I'll be training with my lightsaber."  
Luke stood up and walked to the door.  
"Good. See you tomorrow, Nomi."

The day flew by.  
When I was nursing Tasherit in the evening, Dash finally came back. He leaned over me and kissed me.  
"Good evening, Nomi. Hello, princess."  
He stroked Tasherit's head lovingly.  
"Our sons are already asleep?"  
I nodded.  
"I've a surprise for you, sweetheart. Close your eyes."  
I obediently closed my eyes. I felt that Dash put something around my neck.  
"Now, open your eyes, Nomi."  
I touched my neck with one hand and felt a necklace with a big stone.  
"Please bring me a mirror, Dash."  
He took my little hand mirror from the bedroom and held it so that I could look at myself. What I saw made me for a moment speechless. The stone was a Corusca gem that matched the jewel in my ring that Dash bought on Corellia.  
"You have to be crazy, Dash. It must have cost you a fortune. You shall not make such expensive gifts to me. I didn't deserve that."  
My husband smiled at me.  
"You deserve much more than that, my darling. Do you like the necklace?"  
"Yes, she is beautiful. Thank you, Dash."  
"I thank you, Nomi. I thank you for staying with me and becoming my wife. And I thank you for our children. I love you, Nomi."  
Tasherit was finally full and I could put her to bed. I embraced my husband.  
"I love you too, Dash."  
Then I went into the bedroom and dressed in the sea green semi-transparent gown. The necklace with the Corusca gem just looked gorgeous to the gown.  
When I came back into the living room, I heard an appreciative whistle from my husband.  
He came up to me and kissed me tenderly.  
"You look fabulous. Come, let's have dinner. Leebo has already prepared everything."

During dinner he barely turned his eyes away from me and it seemed to me as if he didn't notice what he was eating.


	65. Anoat Base

The day had come when I, after a long time, should train with the lightsaber again.  
After I took care of my children, I took my daughter on my arm and went to Luke.  
I wore the black clothes as he asked me to do. The lightsaber was attached to my belt. With every step I took to get to Luke's quarters, the saber seemed to become heavier. Luke was already waiting at the door.  
"Good morning, Nomi. You took a long for this short way. Is it so hard for you to come to me?"  
I shook my head.  
"Come in. You can put Tasherit in my bed, then she can continue to sleep in peace."  
I took my daughter to Luke's bedroom and put her in his bed. Then I went back to him.  
"Luke, are you sure you know what you are doing?"  
He looked at me irritated.  
"What do you mean, Nomi?"  
"You aren't a Jedi Master, Luke. Your sister is of the opinion that you aren't ready for the task that you now face with my training. She's afraid that you and I will fail as Obi-Wan and your father did."  
Luke looked in my eyes.  
"I want and can train you, Nomi. Don't stop your training now. You can do it. You've already learned so much. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."  
I wanted to believe Luke.  
"I trust you, Luke. Can we start?"  
He smiled at me with relief.  
"Yes. It is best to go through the individual fighting stances again."  
My master watched me carefully as I wielded the lightsaber.  
"That was very good, Nomi. You haven't forgotten anything. I told you, when your daughter is born, your movements will be flowing and elegant again. Before you practice with the training remote, I want you to meditate. You will be calmer and more relaxed. It will help you to open yourself to the Force."  
I sat down cross legged on the floor. Luke was sitting opposite me.  
"Good, Nomi. Close your eyes. Don't let anything distract you. Free your mind of all questions. You will see things and other places. Now levitate the stool."  
I focused on levitating the stool with the Force.  
"Yes, Nomi. You do that very well."  
Suddenly, I saw something terrible and lost access to the Force. The stool fell to the floor, clattering. Luke sighed.  
"You must learn to control yourself, Nomi. You lose control too quickly."  
Tears came to my eyes.  
"Luke, I saw something terrible. My...my children. Oh, Luke, it was awful. A black clad figure wanted to take my children. Dash wanted to defend us, but he had no chance. The figure had a lightsaber with a green blade. Dash was killed by the black clad figure. When I screamed, the figure turned to me. There was no face. I activated my lightsaber and attacked the one who had killed my husband. We fought bitterly against each other. The figure severed my right hand. Then the figure took my children and left.  
The figure laughed and said in an eerie voice: 'Now the dark side has won. The reborn Emperor will be pleased. I will raise these four children to Dark Jedi. Then no one can stop us. Lord Vader has betrayed his master, but I will serve my Emperor faithfully to the death.'  
Please, Luke, tell me the truth. Is it the future that I have seen? Did you see that too? Do I have therefore to learn how to fight with a lightsaber and use the Force?"  
Luke looked at me and nodded.  
"Yes. I had this vision too. It is possible that it is the future that awaits you. But it's hard to see because the future, as you know, is always in motion.  
"Does Dash know about it?"  
"Yes, your husband knows it. I asked him not to tell you. I think it would be better if we put an end to today. You are too confused by what you have just seen."

In Luke's bedroom Tasherit woke up and cried hungry. I walked over to my child, picked it up and went to Luke.  
"Do you mind if I breastfeed Tasherit here?"  
"No of course not. Should I go?"  
"Just stay. I don't mind if you watch."  
I gave my daughter the breast and she greedily began to suck. Luke looked at me intently.  
"I feel your fear, Nomi. Believe me, I will do everything in my power to ensure that this future never becomes reality. I promise you."  
I shook my head.  
"Make no promise you can't keep, Luke."

After I nursed my daughter, I went back to our house with her. Dash was waiting for me. Just after I put Tasherit in her bed, I flung my arms around my husband's neck and cried.  
"What's wrong with you, darling?"  
"I now know what you and Luke have kept from me for so long. Oh Dash, I don't want to lose you. I'm so afraid that this future will become reality."  
My husband tried to calm me down. "Luke has said that what he has seen, doesn't have to happen. I firmly believe that we have many more years together, Nomi. Calm down. It's time to go to bed, the triplets are already asleep."

In bed, he held me tight in his arms to comfort me, but I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. I just couldn't get that vision out of my mind.


	66. Anoat Base

In the morning I had played with my children, but I was with my thoughts elsewhere.  
The triplets must have sensed that something was wrong with me. They were very restless and constantly arguing with each other. That had never happened before.  
Dash had to go to a combat exercise again. I wished that they would let me fly again. It would have distracted me from my problems.

It was time for my Jedi training and I got dressed for it.  
Biggs stood next to me and looked at me with wide eyes as I attached the saber to the belt. He pointed at the weapon.  
"Mama, what?"  
I took my son on the arm.  
"This is a lightsaber, Biggs. It's the weapon of a Jedi Knight."  
My son's eyes grew even wider. He knew the Jedi Knights from the stories I told them.  
"Mama, Jedi Knight?"  
I assumed he wanted to ask if I'm a Jedi Knight.  
"No, my little darling. I'm not a Jedi yet. I still have a lot to learn from Luke. But one day I will be a fully trained Jedi. But now I must go. Be nice and don't annoy Leebo too much, otherwise the poor droid will get a short circuit."  
I kissed my sons, took Tasherit out of her bed and set off.

Luke was already waiting for me at the door to his quarters.  
"I am glad that you continue your training, Nomi. You can put your daughter in my bed again."  
I took Tasherit to the bedroom and put her to bed.  
"I only come to continue my training because I have no choice, Luke. I lay awake and pondered half the night. I know that only as a trained Jedi I have a chance to save my family from mischief. That's why I'm here. I want to continue my training."  
Luke looked pleased.  
"You've made a wise decision, Nomi. Let's start."  
He had gotten a new training remote.  
"You will practice again with the training remote and the helmet with the opaque visor. But I have to warn you, this time the laser beams will not be so harmless. Finally, I must now take no more consideration of a pregnancy."  
I looked at him in horror.  
"You must be crazy, Luke."  
He laughed.  
"No, Nomi, I'm not crazy. Excuse me, it was a little joke."  
I couldn't laugh.  
"Damn it, Luke, I don't think that's funny."  
Luke realized he had made a mistake.  
"Forgive me, it will not happen again. But now let us really begin. Don the helmet and activate your lightsaber."  
I did what he asked me to do.  
"Concentrate, Nomi. Give yourself to the Force. I know you can. Yes, that's good."  
He had thrown the remote in the air. I was inwardly calm and then I felt the Force. The remote came up to me and fired. I deflected the beam. Again and again it tried to break my defense, but I already felt where it would try to attack me.  
"That's enough, Nomi. You've already learned a lot. Your control of the Force is already very good. Before you do the next exercise, you should meditate."  
Hesitating, I sat down cross legged on the floor. I was afraid to have a vision of the future again.  
"I feel that you're afraid, Nomi. You have no reason to. Relax and give yourself to the Force. Let yourself drift. Nothing can happen to you. Yes, you must let go. Free your mind of all questions. There's nothing but the Force. You're one with the Force. The Force is our ally, Nomi. Through it we are luminous beings. Use the Force."  
I felt so light and all fears left me. Around me, I felt the life energy of many beings. I felt especially strongly my teacher, my children and Leia's presence in the Force. I called Tasherit in the Force and she answered me. It was a wonderful feeling as our minds united in the Force.  
"Yes, Nomi, the talent of using the Force is a wonderful gift."  
He stood up.  
"Competing against the training remote is one thing, Nomi, against living people another. You'll fight against me."  
He activated his lightsaber. With a hiss came the green blade to life. I backed away. The blade was the same color as of the lightsaber blade the black clad, faceless figure wielded in my vision.  
"Please, Luke, let's put an end to today. I'm completely exhausted, I just can't anymore."  
He looked at me worriedly.  
"What do you have?"  
"Nothing, I'm just tired. Let us continue tomorrow. Besides, I have to go with Dash to Admiral Ackbar and General Madine."  
I went into Luke's bedroom and picked up Tasherit.  
"Good, Nomi, we will continue tomorrow."  
My leaving was almost like an escape.

After nursing our daughter, my husband and I went to see Admiral Ackbar and General Madine. Wedge had already arrived before us, so we couldn't speak with him before.  
The disclosure, which was made to us then met us completely unprepared.  
Admiral Ackbar pointed to two chairs in front of the table where he, General Madine, and Wedge sat.  
„Captain Darklighter, Lieutenant Rendar. Please take a seat."  
We sat down on the chairs and Admiral Ackbar continued.  
"You're probably wondering why we asked you to come here. As you know, the offensive for the liberation of Coruscant is planned for the next time. Rogue Squadron will be instrumental in it. You are both excellent pilots. Nevertheless, we have agreed that you will not take part in the offensive."  
I thought I couldn't believe my ears. By the look on Dash's face, I could tell that he was also baffled.  
"But, Admiral..."  
Wedge interrupted my husband.  
"Please, Dash, let me explain the decision."  
Dash jumped up.  
"There's nothing to explain, Commander Antilles!"  
General Madine intervened.  
"It would be fair if you could give us the possibility for an explanation, Lieutenant Rendar."  
My husband sat down again.  
"All right then. I'll listen to your rationale, General."  
The general gave Wedge the floor.  
"Commander Antilles"  
Our friend looked at us.  
"This decision wasn't easy for us. We don't like to lose you. You're both excellent fighters. But we can't take the responsibility that you take part in the offensive. You have four small children who need their parents. The odds Rogue Squadron to come through the attack on Coruscant without heavy losses are low to be honest. I don't want to hazard you. Moreover, Nomi should be able to fully concentrate on her training as a Jedi. She can't serve simultaneously in Rogue Squadron and train with Luke. We ask for your understanding of this decision."  
Dash had calmed down a bit.  
"We have to accept this decision, Wedge. It looks like we have no choice. Do you have already a replacement for us?"  
Wedge nodded.  
"Your substitutes will be Corran Horn and Tycho Celchu."  
I looked at him in astonishment.  
"Corran Horn? Are you speaking of Hal Horn's son?"  
"Yes, Corran is Hal Horn's son, Nomi. You know him?"  
I nodded.  
"He had helped us to escape from Corellia. If he and his father hadn't been, who knows what would have happened to us."  
General Madine took the floor.  
"The fact that you are no longer members of Rogue Squadron doesn't mean that you no longer have a task within the Alliance. We infiltrated an agent on Coruscant, the code name is Targeter. You and your husband are to serve as liaison officers to this agent. So despite everything, you will have a not entirely insignificant role in the liberation of Coruscant. We just keep you out of the line of fire. If the operation is successful, you may be able to retake your positions in Rogue Squadron."  
I knew immediately what that meant. We should close the gaps that would surely be torn in the ranks of the Squadron. I thought with horror that perhaps my brother could be killed and I or Dash would take his place.  
Into the middle of my thoughts I heard Admiral Ackbar's voice.  
"Captain Darklighter. Lieutenant Rendar. Dismissed."

When my husband and I were on our way to our quarters, Wedge caught up with us.  
"I'm sorry, but that's the way it works best. Believe me, it wasn't easy for me to make this decision. Of course you can practice in the simulators at any time and there will also be an X-wing with which you can participate in the combat exercises."  
Dash looked pleased.  
"Thank you, Wedge. Do Ackbar and Madine know about it?"  
Our friend laughed.  
"No, what I have offered you now is absolutely illegal. If they ever find out, my career in the Alliance will be over."  
My husband laughed too.  
"Well, then we'll see to it that they don't notice. Are you coming to us? We would be glad."  
"Yes, I'm happy to come and to see your children's progress."  
We sat together for a long time. Wedge promised to take me with him the next morning so I could talk to Corran Horn.

After nursing Tasherit and putting all the kids to bed, I also went to bed. Dash had contacted Lando in Cloud City before he also went to bed. He gave me a kiss and said with a wry smile: "They pretty much cut our wings today, Nomi."  
Somehow I had to agree with him.


	68. Anoat Base

The day of parting was there.  
Rogue Squadron set off for its new base. From there, the offensive for the liberation of Coruscant should be prepared.  
Dash and I had gone to the hangar with the kids to say good-bye to our former comrades and, above all, my brother, Corran and Wedge. What would I have given if I had been allowed to fly. If Luke had known that, he would have said: 'Nomi, a Jedi doesn't crave adventure.'  
But, after I lived so many years for fighting the Empire, it was really hard to stop suddenly.  
I tenderly cradled my daughter when I went to my brother.  
I was aware that he and the others would perhaps give their lives so that my children can live in peace and freedom. Tears came against my will. My little brother wiped lovingly the tears from my face.  
"Hey, why are you crying, Nomi? I'll come back, I promise. Nobody can stop a Darklighter."  
Dash slapped his brother-in-law on the shoulder.  
"Keep a stiff upper lip! And screw the Imps up, Gavin."  
My little brother laughed.  
"I will do so, Dash."  
Then he climbed in his X-wing. After he closed the hatch, he waved goodbye.

When we went to Wedge and Corran, Wedge was greeted with joy by the triplets. He had played often and willingly with them in his spare time. Biggs tugged at his pant leg and Wedge leaned down to him.  
"Well, Biggs, what do you want?"  
Yearning, the little guy stretched out his arms.  
"Go with you."  
The men laughed.  
"No, little one, you can't come with us. But if you're bigger, you can fly such an X-wing."  
Then Wedge turned to me.  
"Your sons can't deny that they are your offspring. The blood of the Rendar and the Darklighter has combined into an extraordinary mix. The triplets will become certainly great pilots. But now it's time. Let's make it short, long farewells have always been a pique to me."  
He hugged me and the triplets and gently stroked Tasherit's head, which showed the first delicate red hair fluff.  
My husband shook his hand in farewell.  
"Hey, Wedge, don't let the Imps fry you. Too bad I can't take care of you. I hope you can get along without me."  
"Oh, I will for sure. I'm not such a bad pilot, Dash."

Corran Horn stood beside us lost in thought. Maybe he was thinking of his dead father. When I talked to him, he flinched.  
"I wish you all the best, Corran. There's a difficult task ahead of you. The Imps are still not to be underestimated. Their new leader, Ysanne Isard, is said to be very power-hungry and a master in manipulating her vicinity. Come back in one piece and may the Force be with you, Corran."  
I gave him, to my husband's amazement a peck on his cheek. Somehow I had the feeling that there is something that connects us.  
Then Corran and Wedge climbed in their X-wings. Gradually, the pilots started their fighters and ascended to the orbit of Anoat.

It was time for me to go to Luke for my training.  
We went to our house because I had to change before. When we arrived, my husband embraced and kissed me.  
"Do you really have to go to Luke?"  
I nodded and eluded his embrace. He bottled me up.  
"Please stay, Nomi."  
"I would like to stay, but you know that Luke insists I come to the training on time. You don't want me to get in trouble with him."  
Dash shook his head.  
"Of course not, darling."  
I went to our little bedroom and dressed the black clothes. As I left the bedroom, I attached the lightsaber to my belt.  
My husband looked at me with a strange expression.  
"What's the matter, Dash?"  
He sighed.  
"I hope we made the right decision and Luke is really capable to train you to become a Jedi. If you stand in front of me in this dark clothes with the lightsaber on your belt, you are strange to me. I wonder if you're still the Nomi I used to know and love."  
"I'm still the same Nomi, Dash. But now I really have to go. Please keep an eye on the triplets. I try to be back as soon as possible."  
I gave him a quick farewell kiss, took Tasherit in my arms and went to Luke's quarters.

My Jedi Master was already waiting for me. After I put Tasherit on a blanket in front of the house, Luke and I sat down on the ground and meditated.  
I again had this horrible vision with the faceless, dark-clad figure. When I saw the figure kill my husband, I screamed. Luke looked at me in horror.  
"What's going on, Nomi? You're trembling all over."  
"I - I had this vision again. Please, tell me that this isn't the future. I don't want to lose Dash and my children, Luke."  
He looked at me sadly.  
"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. No one can predict exactly what the future will bring. When you have calmed down, we will start with the training. Use the relaxation techniques that I showed you. Yes, that's good. You feel deep peace. Nothing can disturb your peace."  
Slowly I calmed down and felt the Force surrounding me.  
"Yes, Nomi, that's better. You must learn to control your feelings. We will start the training now."

He pointed to a huge boulder about thirty paces from his house.  
"Levitate this boulder and place it in front of my house."  
I looked at him doubtfully.  
"I can't do this. It's too heavy. It's impossible. No one can do that."  
Luke sighed.  
"Oh, Nomi, everything is always impossible for you. I have the feeling that you aren't listening to me when I say something to you."  
"So far, I only levitated small stones and leaves. This boulder is something else, Luke."  
"No, Nomi. It's nothing else. You can levitate anything, no matter what size or weight it has. When you use the Force, all laws of nature are superseded. You must forget what you learned earlier."  
"All right, I'll try."  
"No, not try, Nomi. Do or do not. There is no try. As Master Yoda once said to me."  
I nodded and stood up. I reached out to the boulder and concentrated on lifting it. Then I felt the flow of the Force between me and the boulder. Slowly it started to lift. As it floated two inches above the ground, I slowly and carefully directed it toward the house. I let it sink to the ground next to Luke. Completely exhausted, I sat next to my master. This exercise had cost me a lot of strength.  
Luke looked pleased.  
"You see, you can do it, Nomi."  
I was only capable of a tired nod. Luke jumped up.  
"We will now fight with the lightsabers. C'mon, Nomi."  
With these words he activated his saber. I shook my head.  
"Damn it, Luke, I can't. Don't you see that I am completely exhausted after this exercise?"  
He looked at me.  
"No, I don't see that. What's wrong with you, Nomi? Whenever we want to practice with the saber, you have an excuse not to have to do it. Formerly you used to have more stamina. You walked for hours through the Jundland wastes and were armed only with a blaster rifle and your vibro knife. You've changed a lot, Nomi."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Luke, I've changed. I'm no longer the adventurous and reckless Nomi of our youth.  
I had to experience too much horrible. I'm tired of having to fight all the time. You don't know how much I long for peace. I want to finally come to rest and live somewhere with my family a normal life."  
He looked at me with understanding.  
"You'll live a normal life, Nomi. But only if you learn to use the given talent. I don't understand you. Why are you so reluctant to use the saber? At the beginning of our training I had the impression that you enjoy wielding this weapon."  
"Yes, I enjoyed it then. But I didn't know then that I'm Force sensitive and what may depend on my abilities. I'm afraid to fail and as once your father to be seduced by the dark side of the Force. Then there is this vision that haunts me until into my dreams. I'm so scared, Luke."  
He hugged me comforting.  
"You don't have to be scared, Nomi. Nothing bad will happen, if you continue your training. Trust me."  
I broke away from his embrace, stood up and activated my lightsaber. The ice-blue blade appeared with a hiss.  
"Well, let's start. Attack me, Luke. What are you waiting for?"  
He stood up and also activated his lightsaber. With a quick, flowing movement he attacked me. Sparking and accompanied by electrical discharges, our blades clashed. With all my strength I tried to push my opponent back and I succeeded. Gasping I stood in front of Luke and waited for the next attack. The attack came quickly but I saw where it was aimed. I managed effortlessly to block the blow and to lunge out for a counterattack.  
I felt that Luke didn't use the Force this time. He staggered under the momentum of the unexpected impact. I followed with swift sequenced blows. Finally, I managed to pierce through his defense. Just before I could seriously hurt him, I deactivated my saber. Completely exhausted from the fight, we faced each other.  
In a reflexive movement, Luke yanked his lightsaber up to salute.  
"You did very well, Nomi. An opponent who can't use the Force has no chance against you.  
Tomorrow we'll see how you hold your ground against an opponent who can also use the Force."

Tasherit had awakened and I went with her to Luke's house to nurse her. Luke followed me and sat down next to us. When Tasherit was full, Luke took the baby and I could also eat something. Luke stroked my daughter's head lovingly.  
After I ate, I said goodbye to Luke and went back to our house, where I was alreadyawaited by my sons. Immediately they demanded loudly to hear a story. Sometimes I wished that my mother would be with us and tell them the beloved stories. The three could be very demanding.

In the afternoon Dash stood in front of me excitedly. He seemed to me like a little boy. Yes, at that moment he was very much like his sons.  
"Come, Nomi, I've to show you something."  
He took me by the hand and went outside with me. There were two speeder bikes standing, as they were used by us for patrols.  
"That you want to show me? I know how speeder bikes look like. If you don't know, I drive it every day for patrol."  
He laughed.  
"Of course it aren't the speeder bikes I want to show you. C'mon, mount your bike and just follow me."  
He jumped on his bike and before I could react, he was already on the way.  
"Hey, wait for me, Dash!"  
I caught up with him quickly. After a standard hour he stopped in the woods. I wondered what he wanted to show me there. Again he took me by the hand and led me through a gap in the thicket.  
"I discovered this on my last patrol."  
I was speechless. In front of me was a crystal clear lake. The water was so clear that you could see to the bottom.  
"Do you like it, my darling?"  
"It's beautiful here, Dash."  
My husband started to take off his clothes.  
"Come, Nomi, we swim. Why are you hesitate? Take off your clothes and come into the water. There is no one here who could watch us."  
Swim? I stood on the shore and watched my husband as he moved effortlessly through the water.  
"C'mon, honey. The water is just wonderful."  
"Uh, Dash, I'm from Tatooine. A desert planet."  
He stood in the water in front of me and looked at me.  
"I know, Nomi."  
"But there's something you don't know, darling. I can't swim."  
He looked at me in amazement.  
"You can't swim? An elite fighter of the Alliance can't swim?"  
I shrugged.  
"I never had the opportunity to learn it, Dash."  
"Then you will learn it now, my love. Undress and come into the water. It would be strange if I couldn't teach you how to swim."  
I undressed reluctantly.  
"Come, Nomi, you don't have to be afraid. I'll hold you."  
My husband came to me and took me by the hand. Slowly he led me further and further into the lake and suddenly I felt no bottom under my feet. Dash held me as promised.  
"Move your arms and legs the way you saw it from me."  
He let go of me. I submerged and got water in my mouth. Coughing and spitting, I surfaced.  
Dash laughed as he held me again.  
"It's not funny, Dash. Do you want to drown me?"  
He couldn't stop laughing.  
"No, Nomi. Maybe next time I should warn you. So, from the beginning."  
I tried to imitate the movements I had seen by my husband.  
"You're doing very well, Nomi. I'll let go of you slowly now."  
He released his grip and I could hardly believe it - I swam.  
Dash swam around me and reached for me. But I kept elude him. Finally, we swam together to the lake shore. Hand in hand we got out of the water and lay down in the grass.  
My husband began to kiss and caress me tenderly.  
I briefly wondered if Luke could feel through the Force what we were doing, but then I forgot everything around me. There was only Dash and me. Then we lay exhausted and happy next to each other. Lovingly, Dash stroked my hair out of my face and gave me a kiss.  
"I think we should go back to base, Nomi. Tasherit will be hungry and our sons will certainly want to hear a story from you before they go to sleep."  
My husband and I once more went into the water and then got dressed after we had dried ourselves. Side by side we drove with the speeders through the forest back to the base.

When we arrived at our house, Leebo greeted us with the crying Tasherit in his arms. I almost thought to hear a reproachful tone, as he gave me my daughter.  
"Your daughter is already screaming half a standard hour, Nomi."  
I took Tasherit in my arms and sat down to breastfeed her. As I nursed their sister, the triplets sat at my feet and listened with wide eyes to the story I told them.

It was late and I could barely keep my eyes open. I went to bed and huddled up against Dash.  
The next day would be a hard day for me.


	69. Anoat Base

Dash stood with breakfast in front of the bed.  
"Good morning, darling. I hope you slept just as well as I did."  
I hadn't slept well, but why should I bother him with my nightmares?  
"Yes, I slept well, Dash."  
He bent down and kissed me.  
"That was the starter and now see what I brought you for breakfast."  
My husband put the tray on the bed.  
"Oh Dash, Blum fruits. How do you know that these are my favorite fruits?"  
He smiled at me.  
"Your little brother told me."  
I enjoyed the wonderful fruits. It had been a long time since I had eaten some. Dash looked at me and was glad that it tasted so good to me.  
The triplets stormed in and climbed on the bed. With their small hands, they also tried to get some of the fruits.  
"Hey, the fruits are for your Mama. Go to Leebo in the kitchen, there's your breakfast."  
Biggs made a face.  
"Stay Mama."  
With an age of a standard year, the triplets could be very stubborn. Dash Jr. stamped angrily with his foot.  
"Not kitchen. Herit Mama. Dash too."  
I tried to explain it to my sons.  
"Tasherit is always with me because she needs me. You're already big boys. Your sister can't eat or drink alone like you. She's still a baby and can only get full at my breasts."  
Corran reached out his arms for me.  
"Corran arm."  
I picked up my youngest and gave him a kiss. Then I turned to my husband.  
"Dash, I think it's better for the triplets to have breakfast with us. Otherwise they'll be jealous of their sister."  
Dash stood up and went to the kitchen to get the breakfast for the triplets.  
"You spoil our sons too much, Nomi."  
I took Tasherit out of her bed to feed her. Our daughter really had a healthy appetite.

After everyone was full and satisfied, it was time for me to go to Luke.  
When I wanted to change, Dash stopped me.  
"I want to come along today, Nomi."  
I looked at him in astonishment.  
"Why, Dash?"  
"Well, I want to know your progress. I also like watching when you're fighting. I love your elegant movements and your skills with deadly weapons."  
"All right, you can come along. But promise me that you won't be frightened when you see that I am doing something unusual."  
My husband nodded.  
When I had changed my clothes, my husband and I went with the baby to Luke.

As usual was Luke already waiting at the door.  
"Hello, Nomi. Oh, Dash, you accompany your wife today? Is there a specific reason for that?"  
Dash shook his head.  
I gave my husband our daughter and he sat down with her under the tree that stood next to Luke's house. Luke looked at me questioningly and then I heard his voice in my head.  
'Why did your husband come along today, Nomi?'  
I answered him in the Force.  
'I don't know, Luke. Maybe it's just curiosity.'  
'You know that you should fight me today if I use the Force?'  
I nodded and Dash looked at me in surprise.  
"Hey, what are you two doing?"  
I forgot that my husband isn't Force sensitive and I responded to him in the Force.  
'We only talk, Dash.'  
It was only when he asked me again that I realized that he hadn't discerned my response.  
"We talked in the Force, Dash."  
My husband seemed annoyed.  
"I don't want you to do that while I'm present."  
Luke ignored Dash's remark.  
"It's best if we start with the exercises. Bring the boulder back to its original location, Nomi. Here in front of my house he is a hindrance."  
I stretched out my hand towards the boulder and felt the Force between the stone and me. Slowly, the boulder lifted and I steered it this time effortlessly to its former position.  
My husband didn't believe his eyes.  
"I just don't believe that, Nomi. What you've just done is impossible."  
I smiled at him.  
"With the Force as an ally nothing is impossible, darling."  
He looked at me confused.  
"Will our children also be able to do that someday?"  
Luke nodded.  
"Of course, Dash. Your children will also learn to use the Force. It's time for the lightsaber duel, Nomi. Are you ready?"  
He activated his lightsaber and I did likewise with my own saber.  
"Yes, I'm ready, Luke."  
Dash jumped up.  
"Are you crazy? You can't practice with these dangerous weapons."  
It occurred to me that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to allow my husband to watch my training.  
"Calm down, Dash, I know what I'm doing. Nothing will happen to me or Luke. Trust us."  
As her father jumped up, Tasherit was startled from her peaceful slumber and screamed.  
Dash rocked her in his arms trying to calm her down.  
Finally, our daughter fell asleep again and we could start the fight.

I dropped in a fighting stance and Luke attacked me. He had blocked me in the Force, so I couldn't foresee where his attack was aimed. Only through my battle-hardened reflexes I managed to react in time and block the blow. I made a counterattack, but Luke easily ducked the blow. My attack came to nothing.  
I struggled to regain control of the Force.  
Luke laughed at my futile efforts.  
"I thought you're strong in the Force, Nomi. But apparently I'm stronger than you."  
"Please, Luke, stop taunting me. Don't you feel how I try?"  
Luke laughed again.  
"Yes, I feel your futile efforts."  
I tried to stay calm, but Luke should finally stop laughing. Slowly I got angry.  
I suddenly felt the Force stronger than ever and attacked my teacher with such force that he couldn't oppose. I drove him back with quick sequential blows. Suddenly he lost his balance and fell. Without thinking, I hauled off the mortal blow.  
Luke looked at me with eyes wide with fear. He had raised his right arm to ward off the blow.  
I savored my triumph until the scream of Dash snapped me out of my torpor.  
"Nomi! What are you doing?"  
I dropped the saber, which immediately deactivated.

Dash ran to me and grabbed me by the shoulders.  
"Nomi, have you gone insane? What's gotten into you? You almost killed Luke."  
Luke rose from the ground.  
"Leave her, Dash. It's my fault. I shouldn't have annoy your wife so much."  
He looked at me seriously.  
"Nomi, you really need to learn to keep your emotions under better control. The dark side otherwise takes possession of you easily. It's quickly available because it's constantly lurking in the background. It makes you invincible, but consider what price she demands from you."  
I felt tears come to my eyes. I had failed again and given in to the dark side.  
My husband embraced me and tried to comfort me.  
"It's alright, darling. Calm down."  
I pulled out of his embrace and went to our child who lay peacefully under the tree. Tasherit looked at me with bright green eyes and chuckled softly to herself. I realized that if I give in to the dark side, I would never see my children again. Dash would leave me inevitably and take the children.  
Luke had followed me and spoke to me in the Force.  
'Yes, Nomi, you will lose your children and your husband if you don't learn to control your emotions and open yourself only to the light side.'  
'Tell me, Luke, how do you manage to keep yourself under control?'  
He smiled.  
' I don't always make it. But I try to keep my passions and desires from gaining the upper hand. You're a very emotional person, Nomi. Maybe that's why it's so hard for you to control your emotions.'  
"I think we stop practicing today, Nomi."  
I wiped my tears and nodded.

On the way back Dash suddenly stopped and looked me straight in the eyes.  
"I have come to a decision, Nomi. You will end the Jedi training immediately, do you understand me? I'm serious about it. I don't want you to expose yourself to these dangers any longer. You be in over your head and the boy is overchallenged with your training. I'm worried about you and I don't want to lose you. And I will, if you carry on, I feel it."  
I returned his gaze.  
"I can understand your fears after the events of today, Dash. But I must carry on. You know what can depend on it. I sincerely hope that when I am prepared and master the Force, I can prevent the events of my vision. You shall live, Dash and our children are to grow up in peace and freedom. That's why I must continue to face the dangers of the Jedi training. Please don't try to change my mind."  
"You don't want to understand me!"  
Angrily my husband ditched me and went to the command center of the base to begin his service. Sad, I stayed behind with Tasherit and went to our house.

I racked my brain, what I should do. If we had still been on Dagobah, I could have taken retreat at my favorite spot. But on Anoat I had no such place. I was afraid that because of my Jedi training, there could be a serious rift between me and my husband.


	70. Anoat Base

Dash hadn't come home all night.  
I worried about him. Our children have been asking about their father all morning. Biggs stood in front of me and looked at me.  
"Papa?"  
I picked him up and put him on my lap. Lovingly, I stroked his brown curly hair.  
"I don't know where your father is, Biggs."  
I decided to look for my husband.  
"Leebo!"  
The droid didn't answer and I wondered where he was. A terrible suspicion awoke in me.

I took my children and went to Luke. He was already waiting for me at the door.  
"I felt your anxiety, Nomi. What happened?"  
"Dash is gone, Luke. His bed was untouched this morning. I have to look for him. Is it possible for me to leave the triplets with you? Leebo disappeared, too."  
Luke nodded.  
"Of course you can leave your sons with me, Nomi."  
"Thank you, Luke. Dash, Biggs, Corran, you stay with Luke. Be good children. I'll be back soon."

I walked with my daughter in my arms to the main hangar. There my fears came true. Where the Outrider had been, there was only an empty space left. My husband had left me, it couldn't be otherwise. Without a word of farewell, without an explanation, he was simply gone from my life. Shocked I stared at the place where yesterday the Outrider had stood. I felt tears running down my cheeks.  
"Captain Darklighter?"  
I was startled when General Rieekan approached me because I hadn't noticed his arrival. Hastily, I wiped away the tears and stood in attention, which was somewhat difficult with the baby in my arms.  
"What are you doing here, Captain Darklighter?"  
"I'm looking for my husband, General."  
The General looked at me.  
"You are looking for your husband? Lieutenant Rendar left for Coruscant last night. There he should get in touch with Targeter."  
"Why didn't he tell me, General?"  
"Your husband was not allowed to tell you. He had strict order to keep silence so as not to jeopardize the mission, Captain Darklighter."  
I nodded.  
"I understand, General. Why did the choice fall on my husband? I thought we should be kept out of the line of fire."  
"It was obvious to entrust your husband with this mission because he was born and raised on Coruscant. He knows his way around and has, as we know, good connections to the underworld. We expect him back in two standard days."  
I looked at General Rieekan with relief.  
"Thank you, General, for informing me."  
The General acknowledged my salute and smiled at me.

I went back to Luke to pick up my children.  
He was sitting with my sons on the ground outside his house and let them levitate small stones with the Force. When he saw me he stood up and came towards me. He spoke to me in the Force.  
'I feel that you are relieved, Nomi.'  
I nodded.  
'In a sense, Luke. Dash didn't leave me, as I secretly feared. He's on behalf of the Alliance on Coruscant. I've a bad feeling about this. He flew with the Outrider. I wonder why. The freighter is being sought by the Empire throughout the galaxy. I hope Dash doesn't get into trouble.'  
Luke grinned at me.  
'Hey, Nomi, you know Dash. No one can cope with him when he sits in his beloved Outrider. Besides, Leebo is also with him. He will come back safe and sound.'  
Somehow I couldn't share Luke's optimism.

In the afternoon I went to training.  
Everything went well, I was finally able to fully open myself to the Force. When we fought with the lightsabers, I managed to break the Force blockade he had erected against me. My master was very pleased with me.  
"You've done very well, Nomi. You've taken a giant step into a larger world. Before we end for today, you'll meditate."  
I sat down on the ground and opened up to the Force. I saw through the Force my children in the distant future as Jedi Knights champion for peace and justice in the Galaxy. Then the images changed.  
I saw Coruscant and my husband moving through the streets of the Southern Underground.  
He wore the armor of a stormtrooper. Hate-filled eyes followed him as he walked by humans and nonhumans. From the other direction a stormtrooper squad came towards him. Suddenly stormtroopers appeared behind him, too. He was encircled.  
"Set your weapons to stun mode. Iceheart wants the rebel scum alive."  
Dash fired at the approaching stormtroopers. The fight was short. My husband collapsed when a stunner beam hit him.  
Then I saw him sitting in an Imperial prison cell. The cell door opened.  
"Come on, rebel scum, Iceheart yearns for you."

They took him to an interrogation room. Dash was strapped to a device that I immediately recognized as a torture device. The room was soundproofed, so that one could not hear the cries of the victims outside.  
When my husband was strapped in, a woman entered the room. She had black hair with two white streaks and different colored eyes. The right one was blue and the left one was strangely enough red.  
She approached my husband and yanked his head up by the hair. He spat in her face. She wiped the saliva in disgust.  
"You will learn to have respect for me. Sooner or later every man licks my boots. You don't know who I am. Am I right? Well, you should know that you are at the mercy of Ysanne Isard and that there's a reason they call me Iceheart. When I'm done with you, you'll beg me on your bended knees to deliver you from your agony and kill you."  
She nodded shortly to the interrogation officers.  
"Begin the interrogation."  
It was horrible to see how Dash tried to withstand the torture and then screamed in pain.  
Finally, he lost consciousness.  
Iceheart looked furious at Dash and waved two stormtroopers.  
"Take him away!"

Luke had been watching me while I meditated. He looked at me knowingly.  
"You had a vision, Nomi."  
He didn't ask, he simply stated it.  
I nodded.  
"I have to go to Coruscant, Luke. Dash is in mortal danger, I have to help him. If I don't do it, he'll die."  
Luke looked at me.  
"You don't know that, Nomi. You can't leave. Think of your children. Should they lose father and mother? Coruscant is teeming with stormtroopers. Don't forget, it's still the heart of the Empire. What can you do alone? You will also be killed, Nomi."  
I didn't want to admit he was right.  
"I have to try, Luke. With the Force as an ally, I'll make it."

I stood up and went into the house to feed my daughter whom I had taken along as usual.  
Lovingly I looked at the little girl at my breast. I wondered if I would see my children on this day for the last time. My sons would stay with Luke and Tasherit would be looked after by Gista Topol, who herself had recently given birth to a child.  
Luke tried again to dissuade me from my plan. He wasted his breath.  
I was determined to do what have to be done.


	71. Aquarius

I was in hyperspace en route to Coruscant or how the Imps call it to Imperial Center.  
It was hard work getting permission from General Rieekan.  
He looked at me with pity.  
"Do you know what you get yourself into, Captain Darklighter? The chances that your husband is still alive are low. We have no more contact with him for hours. Even if he's still alive, how are you going to get into the detention block of the Imperial Palace? It's heavily guarded. There are elite units stationed, which are excellently trained. If you're on Coruscant, nobody will be able to help you. Then you are completely on your own."  
I nodded.  
"That I am aware, General Rieekan. But I could never forgive myself if I did not try everything to save my husband. If you've ever loved, you will understand me. The elite units do not scare me off. As you know, I received excellent training from the Alliance. As I have served in a commando unit, I am familiar with sabotage, explosives, combat techniques and all known weapons. Besides, I've been trained as a sniper. So I am not poorer trained than the Imperial elite units."  
With a shake of the head Rieekan shook my hand.  
"I hope you know what you're doing, Captain Darklighter. If you want, you can take off right away. May the Force be with you."

The signal that indicated to me that I would drop out of hyperspace sounded.  
I had planned stop over on Tatooine and to get me there a passage on a ship. I was aware that it would be too dangerous to land with the Aquarius on Coruscant.

After landing on Mos Eisley space port, I went into the small refresher of the Aquarius. There I prepared my disguise. With my vibro knife, I cut off my long hair that Dash had always liked so much. Then I took the color creepers out of their container and let them wander through my hair. Where they touched it, a dull brown showed. With matte lenses I dampened the bright green of my eyes to a pale gray-green. Then I dressed in the simple clothes of a Tatooinian moisture farmer.  
I now completely corresponded to what was stated in my falsified ID card. Now I was no longer Captain Nomi Darklighter but Yslana Sandworm, the widow of a moisture farmer who was killed in an assault by the Tusken Raiders.  
I managed to get a seat on the Queen of Empire, which would depart for Coruscant a standard hour later. I bridged the waiting time in Chalmun's Cantina where I sat unnoticed in a booth. Apparently I hadn't gone unnoticed, because Wuher the bartender came up to me.  
"Chalmun wants to speak to you."  
I faked surprise.  
"I don't know any Chalmun."  
He shrugged.  
"But he seems to know you. Please come with me."  
He led me into a back room where a giant Wookiee was waiting for me. It was my old friend Chalmun.  
After Wuher left, he came up to me and hugged me full of joy. He tousled my short brown hair.  
"What did you do with your beautiful copper-red hair, Nomi?"  
I answered with a counter question.  
"How did you recognize me, Chalmun? Is my disguise so bad? I cut off my hair. It will grow again."  
Chalmun laughed what made the walls tremble.  
"No, your disguise isn't bad. It's even excellent. Nobody, not even your closest friends or your own husband, will recognize you in this getup. We Wookiees have sensitive noses and every human or non-human has a distinctive odor. When I passed the booth where you sat, I recognized you right away. But why are you in this disguise?"  
With Chalmun I could talk openly. I was sure he wouldn't betray me.  
"I'm on my way to Coruscant. Dash is up to his neck in trouble. He was captured by the Imps and is in a detention block in the Imperial Palace. If I don't free him, they'll kill my husband."  
The Wookiee looked at me thoughtfully.  
"You want to go to Imperial Center and liberate your husband from a heavily guarded Imperial detention block? You're either braver than I thought or completely crazy, Nomi. Can I help you somehow?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes you can. Do you know someone on Coruscant who can get me weapons? I can't take any with me because otherwise I won't get past the security scanners."  
Chalmun thought for a moment.  
"There's an old Ho'Din who has a shop for plants in the Southern Underground. He knows people, from which you can get every weapon you want. Tell him I'm sending you. He owes me a favor and will certainly help you. Now you have to go, otherwise the Queen will fly without you."  
The hug that followed almost broke my ribs.  
"Good luck, Nomi. Be careful and may the Force be with you."

I went to docking bay 98, where the Queen of Empire was waiting for her passengers.  
Despite my lightsaber I passed the security scanner without any problems. Apparently it wasn't programmed for such a rare weapon.  
Soon I would be on Coruscant.


	72. Coruscant

The flight to Coruscant was uneventful.  
Nobody cared about the inconspicuous moisture farmer widow Yslana Sandworm. At the checkpoint my falsified ID was immediately accepted. The stormtrooper looked at me.  
"The purpose of your stay?"  
"I want to visit friends of my late husband."  
He pointed towards the exit.  
"Move along."

I cleared the first hurdle without problems. But that had been the simplest part of my plan.  
In my time as a smuggler I was often on Coruscant. So it wasn't hard for me to orient myself in this giant juggernaut.  
I soon found the access to the Southern Underground. The area had changed since my last visit. The lees of society seemed to be concentrated there. The stench that met me was indescribable. I didn't remember that this place was this ugly. Beggars pleadingly held out their hands, claws or whatever they had as prehensile organs. I couldn't help it, but I turned away in disgust. The sight of this misery was hard to bear. The Empire was responsible for that as well.  
Slowly I walked through the sparsely lit streets and alleys. I put my hand on my lightsaber, which I kept hidden under my cloak. Using the Force I built up an aura of aloofness, as I had learned by Luke.  
Unchallenged, I arrived at my destination. It was a small marketplace that was like an island in all this suffering and misery. The air was relatively clean and fresh. Around the market, many small shops clustered.  
It wasn't difficult to find the shop of the Ho'Din. I stepped in and stood in front of a 3-meter tall non human.  
"What can I do for you?"  
"Master Gardener Spero?"  
He nodded.  
"I bring you greetings from a mutual friend."  
Spero looked at me questioningly.  
"A mutual friend? Who should that be?"  
The Master Gardener looked at me closely and then he smiled.  
"You are from Tatooine."  
I nodded affirmatively.  
"Can we talk somewhere without anyone overhearing us, Master Gardener?"  
He went to the back room and beckoned me to follow him. The Ho'Din sat down and asked me with a gesture to sit down as well.  
"A mutual friend sent you? What's his name? And who are you?"  
I felt that I could trust him.  
"Chalmun sent me. He said that you could possibly help me. My name will mean nothing to you. I'm Nomi Darklighter. However, here I go for personal reasons under the name Yslana Sandworm."  
The non human laughed.  
"Your name should mean nothing to me? You're wrong Captain Darklighter. After all, your wanted poster hangs everywhere on this planet. However, you don't look much like the image on it. It was clever of you to create a false identity. I have great sympathy for the Rebellion. You see, I know the personal reasons why you go under a false name. And I know more. You are on Coruscant to rescue a rebel who is in the hands of Iceheart."  
I was amazed at his knowledge.  
"Yes, Master Gardener. I am here to rescue this rebel. He's my husband. Please help me. I need weapons. Chalmun told me that you can bring me together with the right people."  
He nodded.  
"Yes, I can do that. You must love your husband very much. You must be aware that the chances of rescuing him are very small and you can be killed in the attempt. Nevertheless you dare."  
Suddenly his eyes fell on my lap, where the outline of the lightsaber under the cloak was visible.  
"What are you hiding under your cloak, Captain Darklighter?"  
I took out the lightsaber and handed it to him. He looked at the weapon in astonishment.  
"That's a lightsaber, the weapon of a Jedi Knight, Captain Darklighter."  
I looked at him and felt joy in him, as he held the saber in his hands and the realization of what that meant came to him.  
"You are a Jedi. I thought the Jedi were extinct. And now a Jedi is sitting in front of me. This is one for the books! Tell me what you need. How can I help you?"  
I thought feverishly about what I would need for my rescue attempt.  
"I need a blaster, a blaster rifle, enough ammo and three thermal detonators. I also need information on how to get into the Imperial Palace. Can you ascertain if the Outrider is still in the spaceport and the droid Leebo is still on board? Of course, I'll pay you well for your services, Master Gardener."  
Spero smiled at me and shook his head.  
"I don't want any money from you. It is an honor to serve a Jedi. Come back in three standard hours and you'll have everything you need to save your husband."  
I stood up and went to the door.  
"Thank you, Master Gardener. My husband and I owe you."

Without incident, I arrived in the more civilized parts of Coruscant, where I rented a room in a small hotel. I had turned on the holonet news. My heart made a jump when I saw the image of Dash. The news anchor announced that the rebel Dash Rendar should be executed publicly tomorrow as a deterrent.  
Only one day. I knew that if I failed my husband would die.

After three standard hours I was back in Spero's shop in the Southern Underground.  
"Come, you are expected, Jedi."  
He led me to the back room and there was a surprise waiting for me.  
"Talon! What are you doing here?"  
Karrde looked at me with a grin.  
"Looks like we're trying to save Dash's butt, Nomi."  
With Talon, all our friends from the Smuggler's Moon had come.  
"You are here too, Salla?"  
She smiled at me.  
"Yes, I am here too. I have something against your children having to grow up with just one parent."  
I was glad that I wouldn't be alone in my attempt to rescue Dash.  
"How did you know that I'm here?"  
Jarres spoke up.  
"You will perhaps not believe it, but now and then we see the propaganda - er, holonet news of the Imps. We owe you for your help on Nar Shaddaa. When we landed here took us our first way to Spero, who told us that the wife of Dash, who's a Jedi, is already here. You are a Jedi, Nomi?"  
I nodded and showed them my lightsaber.

Suddenly a voice came from behind that I had not heard for some time, but recognized immediately.  
"May I join the party?"  
I turned to the speaker.  
"Lando!"  
He hurried up to me and hugged me.  
"Hi, Nomi. I thought you would need help when I heard about Dash. What's your plan?"  
I swallowed hard.  
"I've no plan, Lando."  
He looked at me in surprise.  
"You've no plan? You really thought you could simply march into the Imperial Palace?  
There elite units, commandos are stationed and I don't know what else. How did you want to get in and out alive?"  
I shrugged.  
"I don't know, Lando."  
He looked at me with confidence.  
"But I know. As you remember, I've been on Coruscant before. I know the sewers inside out. When I was here with Luke to rescue Leia from the clutches of Xizor, I noticed a branch channel leading directly to the Imperial Palace. The detention block is one level above. Entering through the sewers will be a walk in the park. Once we are in, we will see how to proceed."

Meanwhile, Spero had brought the weapons I needed.  
"Thank you, Master Gardener."  
The Ho'Din looked kindly down on me.  
"I liked to do it, Jedi. By the way, the Outrider is still here in the spaceport and the droid Leebo is on board. I wish you success at your venture. May the Force be with you."  
I turned to Lando and Talon.  
"Alright, we have the weapons. When can we leave?"  
I didn't like the answer I got from Karrde.  
"We leave tomorrow in the morning, Nomi. The execution is scheduled at noon. Until then we should Dash have got out of there."  
I wanted to object, but when I saw Lando's warning glance, I dropped it.

After I said goodbye to them, I went back to the hotel.  
There I sat in my room staring at the chrono set in the wall. It was midnight.  
I knew my husband would die in 12 standard hours if we didn't succeed in freeing him.


	73. Coruscant

Entering the Imperial Palace through the sewers was really a walk in the park.  
No one seemed to have expected an attack from this direction. The access to the Imperial Palace was indeed, as Lando supposed, at the branch channel. It was protected by a grid that didn't withstand my lightsaber for long.  
The guards there were completely surprised when they suddenly faced ten armed attackers. It was a short fight until the path to the detention block level was cleared.  
There we met with tougher resistance.  
The guards there, must have heard the noise of battle and were prepared. They immediately opened fire on us. Talon, Salla, Lando and Jarres took cover and fired at the stormtroopers.  
I stood with my activated lightsaber in the firing line and deflected the blaster bolts effortlessly. The ricochets zigzagged through the corridor. It was dangerous to stay there.  
I reached out my left hand.  
"Jarres, give me the thermal detonator. Hurry up! Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."  
Jarres gave me what I wanted. I set the detonator to a standard minute and threw it in the direction of a turbolift shaft from which came reinforcement for the defenders. The explosion was tremendous.  
"That should stop them for a while. Go, Nomi! We give you cover!"

The rest of the stormtroopers were quickly killed by my friends.  
I hurried down the corridor, searching for the cell Dash was sitting in. Eventually, I found the cell. I pushed the switch and the door opened with a hiss. The prisoner sitting in it tilted his head in the direction of the door.  
It was Dash.  
My husband looked at me with dead eyes. The Imps had blinded him.  
"Are you finally getting me to execution? You're just doing me a favor. I'll welcome death as a friend. Don't think that I'll beg for mercy."  
I slowly approached my husband.  
"What is? Why don't you say anything? Are you afraid of a blind man?"  
Then I stood in front of him. At the sight of him, tears came to my eyes. Dash's body was covered in bleeding wounds caused from the torture.  
"Oh, Dash, what did they do to you?"  
He raised his head, listening.  
"Nomi? What are you doing for a cruel game with me, Iceheart?"  
I knelt down in front of him and brought his hands to my face. Trembling, he felt it. Then he stroked my hair and pushed me away.  
"You're not my wife! Nomi has wonderful long hair. Who are you? Did Iceheart send you to torture me even in my last hours?"  
"Dash, I'm really Nomi, your wife. Please believe me."  
His reply was fierce.  
"I don't believe you! You lie!"  
How could I prove to him that I wasn't an impostor?  
"Don't make it so hard for me, Dash. We need to get out of here."  
He turned his head in the direction of my voice.  
"Prove to me that you are my wife. There is something that only we both know. If you're really Nomi, you can tell me."  
I thought feverishly about what he meant. Then it occurred to me.  
"You mean the forest lake on Anoat where you taught me how to swim. Nobody but us knows about it, Dash."  
A tentative smile lit his battered face.  
"It's really you, Nomi. What a mercy, that before my death I can hear your voice and feel you once again, Nomi."  
I wondered what he was talking about.  
"I came to save you, Dash. We're in a hurry."  
He shook his head.  
"No, Nomi, it's futile. What do you want with a blind man? I would only be a burden to you. Let me die here."  
He had given up completely. I yelled at him to tear him out of his lethargy.  
"I'll never give up on you, Dash! Do you think I fought my way to you, to leave you now?  
I will not stand by and watch them kill you! You are no burden to me, Dash! Don't give up ahead of schedule! When we got married on Endor, I swore I would always be with you. I won't break that oath, no matter what."  
My husband finally stood up.  
"You'll have to guide me, Nomi."  
I took his hand and led him slowly out of the cell. Fortunately, Dash couldn't see the horror of his friends about his condition. Talon spoke first.  
"We have to hurry, Nomi. Surely reinforcement is coming soon."  
I nodded.  
"This way! We should soon come to a turbolift."  
Because of Dash's blindness we advanced very slowly. He was very weakened by the torture and leaned heavily onto me. I spoke in my com.  
"Leebo!"  
Dash's faithful droid answered immediately.  
"Yes, Nomi?"  
"Everything alright?"  
"Yes, Nomi. Everything's quiet here."  
"Get the Outrider ready and take her to the landing platform of the Imperial Palace, as we discussed."

We arrived at the turbo lift. There a nasty surprise awaited us. A stormtrooper squad. The stormtroopers immediately opened fire on us. I dragged Dash to the ground.  
"Stay and don't move."  
I activated my lightsaber and stood in front of my husband in order to protect him. The stormtroopers fired at me, but I fended off the shots with the blade of my saber. They rebounded and hit the attackers. It was absolute chaos. The corridor was filled with noise of battle and the screams of the dying and wounded. Salla shouted something to me as she fired at the stormtroopers. I couldn't understand her because of the noise. When she repeated the words, I finally understood her.  
"Here's no getting through, Nomi! We've to try somewhere else!"  
I shook my head.  
"There's no other way, Salla! I blew up the second turbolift only just!"  
Jarres looked at me.  
"Didn't you say you know what you're doing? Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route, Nomi! We're trapped here like Womp rats."  
In the heat of battle, it was hard for me to think straight. Up to the landing platform of the palace there were 15 levels. There had to be another way than the turbolifts to get to the top.  
There came a thought to me.  
"This way! There must be stairs here!"  
I helped Dash to his feet. For my husband, it would be a problem to reach the 15th level with the landing platform. But first we had to reach the stairs.  
"Give me and Dash covering fire!"  
Slowly, I went with Dash along the walls and searched at the same time for a door behind which could hide stairs. At last I had found access to the stairwell.  
"Come over here!"  
While they fired volleys on the approaching stormtroopers my friends withdrew in my direction.  
There were dense clouds of smoke in the corridor. You could barely see the hand in front of your eyes. I hoped our opponents wouldn't immediately notice in which direction we had disappeared. When all were in the small access to the stairwell, I slammed the door and destroyed the lock with my lightsaber.  
"Well, hopefully it will stop them for a while."  
Dash was exhausted slumped on the steps. Our friends looked at each other. I pulled up my husband.   
"C'mon, Dash, we must move along. They'll soon find out where we've gone."  
My husband shook his head.  
"I can't, Nomi. Leave me here. Without me you can manage to get out alive. I am of no use for anything. The Alliance will have no use for a blind man."  
Lando took Dash's hand.  
"We won't leave you here, old buddy. We'll get you out of here and if we have to carry you."  
With that, he took my husband on his back and slowly began to climb the stairs.  
It was a painstaking climb. We carried Dash by turns on our backs.

Finally we had reached the level with the landing platform.  
I hoped that Leebo would be there with the Outrider. Carefully, I opened the door.  
I saw the Outrider and - stormtroopers. They had surrounded the freighter. In the freighter itself nothing moved. Talon tapped my shoulder and whispered in my ear.  
"And what are we doing now?"  
I smiled at him.  
"Improvising. Jarres, give me a thermal detonator."  
She looked at me as if I were a particularly interesting insect.  
"What are you up to?"  
"Like I said, improvising."  
I held the detonator in my left hand and the activated lightsaber in my right hand.  
Slowly I approached the stormtroopers who took a bead on me. Suddenly their commander gave them a signal and they lowered their blaster rifles. Apparently he had realized what I was holding in my left hand. I smiled broadly.  
"As you've probably realized, I am holding a small thermal detonator in my hand. You know what happens when such a thing explodes. I suggest therefore that you grant us free retreat."  
I suspected that the commander's eyes were going back and forth between the thermal detonator, my lightsaber, and my face. He saw that I had a do-or-die attitude.  
"If you activate the detonator, you and your friends will die as well."  
I shrugged. He pointed at my lightsaber.  
"You're a Jedi?"  
I nodded.  
"And I thought the Jedi were all eradicated by the Emperor and Lord Vader."  
The commander took off his helmet. We stood in silence, looking each other in the eye. Then the stormtrooper commander had come to a decision.  
"A Jedi once saved my mother's life. Go...I grant you and your friends free retreat."  
With a quick movement he shifted his blaster and fired on his troopers. He caught them by surprise and before they were able to react they lay dead on the floor.  
"Is the Rebellion in need of a good marksman in its ranks?"  
I nodded and beckoned my friends to come out of hiding. Slowly and carefully, they approached the freighter. They looked in astonishment at the stormtrooper commander who had just killed his subordinates.  
I spoke in my com.  
"Leebo, it's Nomi. Open the hatch and lower the ramp. Everything's alright."  
I turned to the commander.  
"You made the right decision, commander."  
Together we entered the Outrider.  
Our new ally went to the mid section, sat down on the bench and strapped in. Talon and Jarres immediately went into the cockpit, started the engines and took off. I went with Dash into the small bunk, where I led him carefully to the bed. My husband sank exhausted on the bed and sighed. I looked into his dead eyes as I spoke to him.  
"We almost made it, Dash. If all goes well, we'll be on our way to Anoat in a few standard minutes."

The voice of Talon came over the intercom.  
"Nomi, Dash. Hold on tight, we should soon meet their patrol ships and then it can get a little rough. It's difficult to maneuver through all the skyhooks, satellites and everything that's bustle about here."  
I gave Dash a kiss.  
"I'll be right back, darling."  
I went to get the emergency medi kit to cleanse the wounds and give my husband something against the pain. I heard Talon over the intercom.  
"Lando, Salla, you two go to the laser guns. Enemy fighters are coming our way. Damn, I didn't think our escape would be discovered so quickly."  
The freighter was shaken by the first hits, but the shields hold.  
I went to my husband, who lay apathetically on the bed. It hurt to see him lying there like that. Carefully I began to treat the wounds. Every time I touched the wounds, Dash cringed.  
I heard the sounds from the gun turrets as Salla and Lando fired at the TIEs.  
Dash took my hand and kissed it.  
"I'm grateful that you got me out of there, Nomi. Now I can die in freedom."  
I looked at him in horror.  
"Why are you talking about dying, Dash? We'll still live many happy years together."  
My husband shook his head.  
"No, Nomi. There is no happiness for me anymore. I can't stand being blind and rely on the help of others."  
I got scared. The Outrider still shuddered under the hits. I was sure if this went on, the shields wouldn't last much longer. Then we would all die.

Dash felt for the small cabinet next to the bed. He opened a drawer and pulled out his blaster.  
Before I could react, my husband held the blaster to his head and pulled the trigger.  
I cried out.  
"No!"  
Nothing happened. The blaster wasn't loaded.  
Dash broke down, sobbing. I cradled him in my arms like a little child.  
"You can't give up, Dash. There will be a possibility to help you. The medicine has already made such great progress. Believe me, you will certainly soon be able to see again."  
At that moment there was a jolt and cheers came from the cockpit and the gun turrets.  
Over the intercom I heard Jarres.  
"We just made the jump into hyperspace, Nomi. We'll be on Anoat soon."

We really made it. But the hardest fight was still ahead of me. I hoped that Dash could really be helped and his eyesight restored.


	74. Anoat Base

When we had landed on Anoat, our friends said goodbye to us. They wanted to fly to Tatooine with a transporter from the Alliance and from there with a ship to Coruscant to get their freighters left there. Since nobody could tie them to our escape, they would be able to do so without being in danger.  
An officer of Alliance Intelligence took the defected stormtrooper commander in charge to put him to the acid test.

Dash was immediately taken to the now established med bay and put into a Bacta tank.  
I stood in the observation station and watched as my husband floated in the healing liquid.  
2-1B came in and addressed me.  
"Captain Darklighter?"  
I turned to him.  
"Yes, 2-1B?"  
"The examination is complete, Captain Darklighter. The wounds caused by the torture will heal without scars. Lieutenant Rendar responds well to the Bacta."  
I asked the question that was of the utmost importance to me.  
"What about Dash's eyes? Will he be able to see again?"  
When I looked at the droid, I was afraid of the answer. I was almost sure I already knew it.  
"I'm sorry, Captain Darklighter, but the optic nerves are irreparably damaged. Lieutenant Rendar will never see again. We can't do anything for him."  
I pressed my hand against my mouth to not shout out my despair. My husband was blind forever. I had hoped so much that there would be a way to give him back the eyesight. It was clear to me that the diagnosis for Dash would be like a death sentence. I was aware that from now on I would have to constantly watch out for him so he wouldn't kill himself.

Desperate, I sat down on a chair and buried my head in my hands. Nobody should see my tears. 2-1B had left me alone and I could give vent to my feelings.  
I startled when Luke put his hand on my shoulder.  
"Excuse me, Nomi, I didn't mean to scare you."  
I hadn't heard that he had come in.  
"Why are you crying?"  
It was obvious that Luke didn't know what had happened.  
"Dash is blind, Luke. He will never see again. The Imps blinded him. 2-1B says there is no cure. If my husband learns the truth, he will try to kill himself. He already tried during flight.  
Dash can't stand to be helpless. He wants to die rather than be a burden to me. I don't know what to do, Luke."  
Luke took me in his arms and gently stroked my hair.  
"Calm down, Nomi. Your tears don't help Dash. When he wakes up, don't tell him about the diagnosis. Hide it from Dash for as long as possible. I think I have something that might help him. But at the moment I don't know where I have it. I start searching right now."  
I had new hope.

Dash had since been lifted out of the Bacta tank and placed in a bed.  
I went to him and sat down next to his bed. After a while he woke up. He felt for my hand.  
"Nomi?"  
I took his hand.  
"I'm here, Dash."  
Dash's eyes had welled up with tears.  
"I was hoping that it's all just a bad dream, Nomi. But unfortunately it's the truth. I'm blind.  
I will never be able to see you and the children again. I wish I were dead."  
I didn't know what to say.  
"Tell me the truth, Nomi. There is no cure for me, am I right?"  
I sought refuge in a lie.  
"The examinations are ongoing, Dash. You must be patient."  
My husband turned his face to me.  
"Why are you lying to me, Nomi? The examinations are complete and 2-1B has come to the conclusion that I have lost my eyesight forever. Why don't you tell me the truth?"  
Desperately, I searched for a way out.  
Then Luke came back. In his hand he held a blood red glowing crystal.  
"Luke has come, Dash."  
My husband turned to the wall.  
"Please go Luke, I want to be alone with Nomi."  
"Darling, please don't be so unapproachable. He said a few standard minutes ago that he has something that might help you."  
I look fascinated at the crystal in Luke's hand.  
"What is this strange crystal, Luke? It almost looks like it glows by itself."  
Luke held out the crystal.  
"That's the Kaiburr crystal, Nomi. It comes out of a temple on the planet Mimban. This crystal amplifies the Force. The priests of the temple could heal with its help. I experienced the healing power of the crystal myself when Leia was half dead after a fight with Vader. Maybe the crystal can give back your husband his eyesight."  
I looked at Luke doubtfully. A dead stone should be able to amplify the Force?  
"Take the crystal in your hand and open yourself to the Force. Yes, that's good. Now touch Dash's eyes with the crystal."  
The glow of the crystal intensified. The blood-red glow came out of the crystal and crept up to my elbow. I reached out with my right hand and touched Dash's eyes. As the red glow touched them, his previously dull eyes began to shine.  
My husband blinked and then he cried without restraints.  
"I can hardly believe it, I can see again, Nomi."  
I touched his wounds with the crystal and they too healed in fractions of a second.

When 2-1B came in and saw my husband standing healthy in front of him, the droid almost got a short circuit.  
"From the medical point of view, what I see here is impossible. Lieutenant Rendar was a hopeless case in terms of recovering the eyesight. What happened here contradicts all experience."  
The droid seemed confused and left the sickroom.  
Dash hugged and kissed me.  
"You saved me the second time, darling."  
I protested.  
"Don't thank me. If Luke hadn't had the crystal, there would have been no hope."  
Dash took Luke's hand.  
"Thank you, my friend."  
Luke smiled at my husband.  
"You're welcome, Dash."

Together with Luke we left the med bay and went to Gista Topol to pick up our daughter. Overjoyed, I cradled the baby, who snuggled up to me.  
When we arrived at Luke's house, our sons ran towards us on their short legs. Dash crouched down and caught the cheering children.  
"Mama! Papa!"  
Luke stood next to it laughing.  
"Don't crush your parents. Do you want to show them what you've learned from me?"  
The triplets nodded and lined up side by side. In front of them lay a fist-sized stone. They stretched out their little hands and closed their eyes.  
Slowly the stone lifted and floated a hand's breadth above the ground.  
What that meant, I knew immediately. Luke had already started the Jedi training of our sons.  
Slowly our children dropped the stone back to the ground and looked at us with big brown eyes.  
Dash hugged his sons.  
"You did very well. Your Mama and I are very proud of you."  
Luke took me aside.  
"I sensed that you used the Force when you rescued Dash. You're almost a fully trained Jedi."  
I looked at him.  
"Yes, I say almost, because you have to do one thing before you are really a Jedi."  
I wondered what that would be for a test. My master continued.  
"With rescuing Dash you already passed your biggest test, Nomi. The task that lies ahead of you is the construction of your own lightsaber. I'll give you a book in which everything important is explained."  
He went into the house, came back shortly afterwards and gave me the book in my hands.  
Carefully, I took it and sat down with the book and my daughter on the ground. I flipped through the pages and saw a variety of confusing circuit diagrams.  
It was a mystery to me how I should accomplish this task with three toddlers and a baby.  
Luke watched me.  
"I'm sure you can do it, Nomi."  
I couldn't share his optimism.


	75. Anoat Base

A few standard weeks later I had collected almost all components for my lightsaber.  
Now only a crystal was missing, which I needed to focus the plasma beam.  
I had no idea where and how to get one.  
Dash stood behind me and looked over my shoulder as I sorted the components.  
"I need a crystal Dash. Do you know where I can get one here?"  
He walked around the table and sat down opposite me.  
"That will be difficult. Unless you have a fusion furnace to produce it artificially."  
I shook my head.  
"Then you have only one option left, darling. You have to sacrifice your jewelry. Don't look at me so surprised. Did you forget that the Corusca gem is a crystal? Take the gem out of your ring, it should be the right size."  
"But Dash, I can't destroy your gift."  
He smiled at me.  
"You don't destroy my gift, you just change it a bit. I'll buy you a new ring on occasion. C'mon, what are you waiting for? Break the gem out of the ring. Or should I do it for you?"  
He held out his hand. I shook my head.  
"No, I'll break out the gem myself."  
When I finally broke the gem out of the ring, I put it in a small vise and began to cut it.  
I had to be very careful. An edge too much cut and it would be useless. Finally, I was done with the work. It fit perfectly in the holder. I slowly began to assemble the components of my lightsaber.  
Hour after hour passed and I just didn't succeed. The tangle of cables and wires had very little resemblance to the diagrams in the book. I had to disassemble everything and start over.  
It was enough to drive me to despair.  
How should I focus on a task when three little boys were standing next to you and wanted to play with you.  
Corran stood for the third time at my side.  
"Mama, play."  
I didn't know what to do and asked Dash to go somewhere with his sons to play.  
When I was about to mount the crystal holder in the hilt, Tasherit cried. She couldn't be hungry again because I had fed her just half a standard hour ago. I didn't want to interrupt my work and, without much thought, reached out with the Force to comfort my crying daughter.  
'Shh, Tasherit. Don't cry, sweetie, Mama's here. Be patient, little one. I'll come to you.'  
Immediately my daughter stopped crying and smacking sounds were heard. Tasherit had put a thumb in her mouth, as a quick side glance showed me.

When I finally wanted to seat the crystal holder in the hilt, I experienced a disappointment.  
It just didn't fit. I had to have done something wrong again.  
Luke had told me that at the time of the Clone Wars, some Jedi only needed one day to build a new lightsaber. Obviously, I didn't belong to these brilliant Jedi.  
I tried to stay calm, but I felt myself slowly but surely losing my calm and control.  
Ultimately, I lost patience and threw the half-finished lightsaber infuriated in a corner.

At the same time, I screamed in frustration.  
"Damn it, Luke, I can't do that! I'm not ready for this task! You want the impossible from me!"  
Then I felt how my master touched me in the Force. I could almost see his worried and disappointed face as he spoke to me in the Force.  
'What are you doing, Nomi? I felt a disturbance in the Force. You have given in to anger again. Why do you have always such a short temper? Whenever I think that you've finally understood what matters, you fail. You must learn to be patient, Nomi. If you don't understand this, you are easy prey for the dark side.'  
It was all very well for him. I wanted to see him with four children and a partner who also claimed his rights. Although Dash was very understanding, I didn't want our married life being damaged by my Jedi training.  
I answered Luke in the Force.  
'You ask to much of me, Luke. I'm not up to the task you gave me. Give me some more time.  
Maybe in half a year...'  
Luke contradicted me firmly.  
'No, Nomi, you are ready for this task. I feel it, Nomi. Don't lose your patience too fast.  
I wonder from whom you have this quick-tempered nature. If I remember correctly, your parents are the most peaceful and calm people I've ever met. Maybe it will be better if you stop working at your lightsaber for today. Take care of your little daughter, she needs all the love you can give her.'

Luke was right, I really had to learn to keep my temper. I went to Tasherit's bed and took out my daughter. Tenderly I cradled the baby, which cuddled up to me. I sat in a chair and gently rocked the little one in my arms. Suddenly came back into my mind what Luke had said about my short-tempered nature. I had never thought about it, but accepted it as a given that I very easily lose patience and control. It was true, in my impulsivity I was the opposite of my parents. They are always calm and balanced. Just like my brother Gavin, who is a bit wild, but has never lost his temper. At the thought of my little brother, I hesitated. When I'm Force sensitive, why not he too? I wondered where this ability could have come from, when both of my parents weren't Force sensitive.  
I had to get to the bottom of it.

When my husband came back with our sons, I had made a decision.  
"Dash, I have to go to Tatooine."  
He looked at me with astonishment.  
"What do you want on your home planet, darling? Is something wrong with your family?"  
I shook my head.  
"No, everything is alright. I just want to see my parents. It's been so long since I saw them the last time."  
Dash nodded.  
"Yes, we haven't seen them since Nar Shaddaa. We'll take the children with us. The triplets have grown since then and they doesn't know their youngest grandchild yet. They will definitely be pleased about our visit. And since Tatooine is no longer under imperial occupation, there will be no problems. However, I wonder if we can go that easy. We have to fulfill an important task here for Alliance."  
I hadn't thought of that. My husband had noticed my expression.  
"Cheer up, Nomi. It will certainly go, after all, we can also keep in contact with Targeter from Tatooine. Anyway, I have to report to General Madine and tell about my Coruscant mission. He already asked for it yesterday. When he has heard that I haven't survived the mission unhurt, he has taken patience. But one shouldn't overburden the patience of his superior officer. Also, I have important information for the attack planning. Before the Imps caught me, I was able to contact Targeter. I just want to know who betrayed me to the Imps. My disguise was perfect. If I ever catch that Devorian newt who betrayed me, you can scratch him off the walls. He will then wish to never have been born.  
It's best to go together with me to General Madine, sweetheart. Finally, you have made a decisive contribution to the success of the mission. And I'm pretty sure that the general knows this."

We went to General Madine, who was waiting for us.  
"Captain Darklighter, Lieutenant Rendar. Please take a seat."  
We both sat down in the chairs standing in front of his desk.  
"Thank you, General."  
Madine reached out his hand.  
"I think you should give me the data card that you received from Targeter, Lieutenant Rendar."  
My husband pulled the data card from his pocket and handed it to Madine. The general put the data card into a reader and studied it carefully. After a while he looked up and nodded.  
"That's very valuable information you brought with you. They are very important to our attack planning because they relate to the Coruscant defense system."  
Then the general looked at me.  
"I understand that, to a large extent, it is thanks to you that we have received this information, Captain Darklighter."  
My husband nodded and Madine smiled.  
"It is my special pleasure to inform you that you have both been promoted in consideration of your services to the Alliance. Major Darklighter, Captain Rendar, congratulations."

It was a good opportunity to ask General Madine because of our intended flight to Tatooine.  
Dash took the floor.  
"We have a request, sir."  
"Yes, Captain Rendar?"  
"My wife would like to fly with me to her home planet to visit her parents."  
Madine looked at me.  
"You're from Tatooine, aren't you, Major Darklighter?"  
I was astonished that he knew that.  
"You are surprised that I know that? Oh, I think a good superior should know as much as possible about his subordinates. However, you were already familiar to me when I was an officer in the Empire's service. So your destination is Tatooine. Well, there is a base of us.  
It shouldn't be a problem for you to fulfill your tasks there as well. Where you will stay on your home planet?"  
"We will live with my parents because my house in Mos Eisley was destroyed by the Imps and it hasn't been rebuilt yet. My parents have a small moisture farm in the Jundland Wastes."  
Madine stood up and we as well.  
"When will you be back?"  
I looked at my husband and Dash answered him.  
"We think in a standard week, sir."  
The general shook hands with both of us.  
"Upon arrival on Tatooine, please contact the local base immediately. I wish you a pleasant journey. Dismissed."

After we left Madine's office, my husband hugged me.  
"I look forward to spending an undisturbed week with you on your home planet, darling. It was easier than I thought to get the permission for our journey to Tatooine."  
I wasn't quite as euphoric as Dash, for me it wouldn't be a pleasure trip.


	76. Tatooine

We got up very early because there was still a lot to do before our departure.  
I packed with Leebo together everything we needed for a week's stay on Tatooine. When I also packed my lightsaber components, Dash looked at me in amazement.  
"Do you want to drag this also along?"  
I nodded. Perhaps I would in the relative solitude of the Jundland Wastes succeed to master my last task.

After everything was stowed aboard the Outrider we went to Luke to say goodbye.  
He was already standing in front of his house and looked at us expectantly.  
"Good morning, Nomi and Dash. Well, everything ready for the journey?"  
I laughed.  
"As ready as anything can be, Luke. Should we greet your old home from you? Why don't actually come with us?"  
Luke laughed too.  
"Yes, greets the most desolate planet of the entire Outer Rim of me. I would like to come, but I think I would only disturb you. Dash told me that this is your second honeymoon."  
My husband smiled.  
"I'm looking forward to this flight, Nomi."  
We soon said goodbye to Luke, who reminded me to don't forget my exercises.

A little later we went to the hangar where Leebo was already waiting for us at the Outrider.  
The children were already safe in their beds and we could take off immediately.  
After leaving the gravitational shadow of Anoat, we made the jump into hyperspace. Dash switched to autopilot as soon as we made the jump and we adjourned to the bunk.  
Some standard hours later we were woken up by the signal which indicated that we would soon drop out of hyperspace.  
Dash dressed and went into the cockpit. After I also dressed, I followed him. As I passed, I woke Leebo from standby mode.  
"So, Nomi, really - was it necessary to switch me off?"  
I nodded.  
"We wanted to be together undisturbed."  
Then I ditched the droid and went to the cockpit. I saw no reason to justify myself to Leebo for my actions.  
I sat in the copilot seat and my husband looked over at me.  
"How did you like it, my love?"  
I smiled at him.  
"It was incredibly satisfying, Dash."  
He leaned over to me and gave me a kiss.  
"That makes me happy."  
Dash looked at the display of the navcomputer.  
"Only one standard minute until we enter real space. Activate the deflector shields, Nomi."

The time had come and we fell back into normal space.  
In front of us my home world Tatooine appeared with its twin suns Tatoo I and Tatoo II.  
Although it had always been too boring for me on this barren planet, I was happy every time I saw again my home world.  
In the middle of my thoughts, the voice of Mos Eisley's ground control sounded over the com.  
"Corellian freighter Outrider, here's Mos Eisley ground control."  
The voice seemed vaguely familiar.  
"We have you on our screens and will now transfer the coordinates for the approach into your navcomputer. You were assigned the docking bay 84."  
Suddenly, I was absolutely sure who was talking to me.  
"Kustan? Are you that? What are you doing at ground control?"  
At the other end of the was silence, interrupted only by static.  
"Nomi? Nomi Darklighter? After all those years! Why are you coming back to your home planet?“  
"I want to visit my parents, Kustan. My husband and children are also on board."  
"You are married, Nomi? Hey, how long will you stay? Come with your family and visit us.  
My wife Iri'Ena will be happy to meet all of you. Just give me a call."  
"Yes, I will do that, Kustan."  
I could feel Dash's gaze and the unspoken question that lay behind it. I nodded.  
"Yes, Dash, this time you are right with your guess."  
"I didn't say anything, Nomi."  
"No, you said nothing, darling, but your looks have said enough without words."  
Dash kept silent and steered the Outrider to the docking bay.

In docking bay 84, we were already expected by my parents.  
They were very happy to meet us again after such a long time. My mother took Tasherit from me and cradled her granddaughter in her arms.  
"So that's our youngest grandchild. You can really be proud of your children. I can hardly believe that my little girl is already the mother of four children."  
"Mother, your little girl's long gone, I'm now an adult woman."  
My mother looked at me.  
"For me you'll always be my little girl, Nomi."  
My father talked meanwhile with Dash. I overheard a scrap of conversation that dealt with our fertility.  
"...and should more small Rendar populate the galaxy?"  
My husband shrugged.  
"Your daughter doesn't want more children, Jula. But if Nomi would become pregnant again, she would give birth to this child as well. We both agree that we don't poach on nature's territory."  
My mother kept talking to me. Suddenly she stopped talking as she noticed the lightsaber dangling from my belt.  
"You carry the weapon of a Jedi Knight, Nomi?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Mama. Luke gave me this weapon. Currently I'm building my own a lightsaber. I'm a Jedi, Mama."  
Even if she didn't show it, I sensed that my mother was startled by these words.  
"That's one of the reasons why I'm here. But I think it's better if we go to the farm. We can continue talking there."

The ride on the family landspeeder led us across the Jundland Wastes. Our sons saw with wide eyes at the endless sands. As we drove past a huge herd of wild Banthas, Biggs looked at me questioningly.  
"Yes, Biggs I know you've never seen something like this before. Those animals are called Banthas. They're very common here on Tatooine and are the mounts of the Sand People."  
Dash Jr. reached out his little hands and wanted to get on my lap.  
"Sand People?"  
"Yes, Junior, Sand People. Sometimes they are also called Tusken Raider, because they attacked Fort Tusken long ago. If you wish, I'll tell you the story this evening."  
This announcement was answered with cheers by our three sons. My parents were sitting silently in the front part of the speeder. Occasionally, they exchanged worried looks.  
I reached out with the Force and felt their concern and immense love for me.  
Finally we reached the farm. Nothing had changed there. Everything was still the way it had been in my childhood and early youth.

After taking care of the children and putting them to bed, my father came to me and asked me to come to his study. There were already my mother and Dash. My father pointed to a chair.  
"Please take a seat, Nomi."  
I had so many questions and now I didn't know where to begin.  
"Why am I a Jedi? Neither you nor Gavin are Force sensitive. Why is it possible for me to use the Force?"  
I looked at my parents expectantly.  
It seemed difficult for them to find a start. Finally, my father plucked up courage and began to speak.  
"Your mother and me were afraid for this moment to come, Nomi. But we were always aware that it will come someday. Nevertheless, we hoped..."  
He seemed to have to gather strength.  
"Nomi, you aren't my daughter."  
I looked at the man, whom I had for years thought of as my father.  
Dash came to me and put his hand reassuringly on my shoulder.  
"Please don't get upset, Nomi. You've become as pale as death."  
I looked at my husband sadly. My entire life so far had been a lie and there should I keep calm? Dash continued speaking.  
"Remember that your father has always cared for you as if you were his own child. You always told me how loving he was to you. A biological father couldn't have been better."  
I jumped up.  
"Why did you lie to me?"  
I felt tears come to my eyes.  
My mother came up to me and hugged me.  
"We wanted that you've a carefree childhood and youth, Nomi. You shouldn't be burdened with the past."  
I looked my mother in the eyes, who looked at me with love.  
"Please, tell me the truth, Mama, who was my father?"  
My mother looked pleadingly at my father, who began to speak reluctantly.  
"Your biological father was a Jedi, Nomi. His name was Ulic Bel-Baal. Silya. Your mother, loved him very much. When she got pregnant from him, they wanted to marry. Then the Clone Wars began. Your father had just the same restless blood as you, Nomi. He didn't want to stand idly by while others fought and died. He went to war. Your mother should never see him again. Ulic Bel-Baal was killed in action during an attack by Mandalorians on a base on Chandrila. Your father had left your mother in my care. I don't know if he sensed that he wouldn't survive this war.  
When your mother got word of his death, she was in despair. I arrived just in time to prevent that she committed suicide. I loved your mother since a long time, Nomi and I offered her to marry her. She and the child she carried would then be well provided for. Contrary to my expectations, your mother agreed. But she put a condition. I should renounce my conjugal rights. Under these conditions, we entered into the bond of marriage.  
Eight standard months later you were born. Immediately after birth, I adopted you. In the eyes of the law you were my daughter. When the Emperor came to power and the Jedi were hunted down, we felt it was safer not to tell you about your biological father.  
Over the years, your mother began to love me. In our first night of love I fathered your half brother Gavin. Now you know the whole story and now you know why you are a Jedi."

My mother looked at me pleadingly.  
"Forgive us for hiding the truth for so long, Nomi. We only wanted your best."  
Now many things became clear to me. I looked at my parents lovingly.  
"There's nothing to forgive. It's already late. I think it's better if we go to sleep. Good night, Mama and Papa."  
I kissed my parents and went with my husband to my former child's room, which served as our quarters for our stay.

For me, a whole universe had collapsed by the disclosure of my parents.  
My biological father was dead.  
I had never the chance to get to know him.  
Dash laid already in the bed and I slide to him under the blanket. He embraced me and in his arms I cried myself to sleep.


	77. Tatooine

I woke up late after a restless night.  
Dash was no longer next to me. He must have gotten up early to report to the Alliance base in Bestine.  
I heard from the kitchen the voices of my sons, who asked their grandmother innumerable curious questions. Spontaneous, I had to smile, remembering once standing next to my mother as a little girl, and also pestering her with questions.  
I went to Tasherit and took her from the cradle where I and my brother had been lying even then as babies. It was time for my daughter's breakfast. When I nursed the baby, there was a knock on the door and my adoptive father came in when called upon to do so.  
"Can I talk to you for a moment, Nomi?"  
I nodded.  
"Of course, Papa. Please take a seat."  
He gave me a delighted look as I addressed him as usual with Papa.  
"I know that what we told you yesterday must have hurt you very much. But believe me, Nomi, it wasn't easy for your mother and me to live with this lie all these years. One thing you should know, I love you as if you were my own child. I hope you always felt that."  
I was too moved by the words of my adoptive father to speak and just nodded.  
He kept talking and it seemed as the dam has broken.  
"Ulic, your father, was a good friend of mine. Silya fell in love with him and he returned her love. It was only natural that she preferred the handsome, tall Jedi.  
At the beginning it hurt a lot to see them both so happy together because I also fell in love with your mother. When your father learned from her that she was pregnant, he told me with joy about this. A short time later he came to me and asked me to take care of Silya and his unborn child. Like many Jedi Knights, he went into battle to retain peace and freedom in the galaxy. On Chandrila, he and his troops were ambushed. The Mandalorians knew that on the side of the Old Republic, Jedi Knights would fight and have taken precautions. They had brought Ysalamiri which create a void in the Force. So they managed to surprise and annihilate your father's unit. Without their Force capabilities, the Jedi couldn't withstand the onslaught of the enemies. They were all, despite brave resistance, killed.  
It was a massacre.  
You inherited the restless blood of your father, Nomi. Just like him, you have always gone your own way.  
When you joined the Rebel Alliance, we were afraid for you. We feared that one day you would be captured by the Imps and be interrogated by Vader. The Dark Lord would have noticed that you are Force sensitive. I don't dare to imagine what would have happen to you then."  
My adoptive father looked at Tasherit.  
"It's not surprising that Dash and you have children with such great Force potential."  
He stood up and went to the door.  
"I'll leave you alone now because I have to look after the evaporators."

When I had fed my daughter and put her back in her cradle, I continued building my lightsaber.  
Somehow, the circuit diagrams were still a closed book to me. I began to meditate because I hoped thereby to get clarity. And it actually helped. Suddenly, I saw clearly how the individual components had to be connected. I set to work immediately.  
After two standard hours the work was done.  
Before me lay my own lightsaber.

I took the weapon and went in front of the house with it because I was not sure if I had really done everything right.  
The lightsaber lay well in the hand and was perfectly balanced. I hesitated to push the switch to activate the weapon. What if it explodes? I took a deep breath and pushed the switch.  
With a hiss arose from the hilt an approximately 1m long blood red blade of pure energy.  
I was startled, the same color had had the blade of Darth Vader's lightsaber.  
Nevertheless, I was pleased about my successful work.  
I had actually made it and built my own lightsaber.  
I held the saber proudly in the glaring brightness of the beginning of the day.

At that moment, Dash came back.  
When he saw me with the activated sword in the shimmering heat of the Jundland Wastes, he looked at me in astonishment.  
"You managed it, darling?"  
I nodded.  
"I didn't think you could do it that fast. You're really an extraordinary woman, Nomi."  
I deactivated the lightsaber and approached my husband.  
"I'm a Jedi. Now I can really say it quite rightly. The construction of this lightsaber was my last test for the time being."  
My husband hugged and kissed me.  
"I'm very proud of you, sweetheart. I hope you never have to use this weapon in combat."  
Secretly, I hoped so too. I remembered the vision with the faceless figure, but I pushed the thought to the back of my mind.  
"What have you learned at base?"  
Dash looked at me seriously.  
"I know now that there's a traitor in Rogue Squadron. He must be an Imperial agent. Everyone suspects it's Tycho."  
Tycho Celchu an Imperial agent? I couldn't imagine that. Well, he used to be an Imp, but there were many in the ranks of the Alliance.  
Dash kept talking.  
"This traitor is also responsible for my capture on Coruscant. If it's really Tycho, he should be wary of me."  
Hot anger blazed from Dash's eyes. I took him by the arm reassuringly.  
"Please, Dash, don't be so hasty. Even if Tycho betrayed you to the Imps, he deserves a fair trial. You can't just kill him. Besides, I don't think Tycho's a traitor."  
My husband looked at me in surprise.  
"And why not? Don't tell me that this is a Jedi inkling."  
I shook my head.  
"No, not exactly. But when we said goodbye to Rogue Squadron, I was standing near Tycho.  
I felt no betrayal."  
Dash looked at me doubtfully.  
"C'mon, Nomi, you don't want to claim that with your barely developed Jedi senses you can sense if anyone is planning betrayal. Perhaps Luke can do it, but you don't, Nomi. Don't give me a scowl. I believe you can someday."  
It annoyed me that my husband doubted my abilities. I reached out with the Force and began to read his mind.  
"You're scared of my abilities, Dash, and that's why you deny them. At the same time, you are grateful to me that these very abilities, which you don't want to acknowledge, have saved you several times. Without my Jedi skills, I would not have been able to save you on Coruscant and give you the eyesight back. And now you're wondering how I know your thoughts."  
Dash looked at me in surprise and at the same time angrily.  
"Damn, Nomi, stop that. Yes, I admit, you have the skills of a Jedi. But I don't want you to invade my thoughts. You also don't want Luke to read your mind."  
"You're right. I promise you that I won't read your mind in the future. But come now, it's time to eat. You're going to be hungry and thirsty after the long drive through the desert."  
Dash laughed.  
"Yes, I could eat a whole dewback and a cool Corellian ale would be fine."  
Arm in arm we went into the house.

After lunch, my husband helped my father with the evaporators while I was practicing with my new lightsaber.  
The triplets watched fascinated. When I finished practicing, I deactivated the saber and wanted to attach it to my belt. Corran reached out his small hands to the weapon.  
"Mama, give."  
I shook my head.  
"No, Corran. This is a dangerous weapon and no toy."  
My youngest son stamped his foot angrily.  
"Want this, Mama!"  
Suddenly I felt an invisible hand pull at the lightsaber. That couldn't be true. My son tried to wrench the weapon from me with help of the Force. I made an attempt to convince him to let go.  
"Please let go, Corran."  
It didn't help. We fiercely struggled for possession of the lightsaber. It was incredible how strong the little boy already could use the Force. Except for the one lesson with Luke, the triplets were still completely untrained.  
"Damn, Corran, let go! Can't you listen to what I tell you? If you don't stop immediately, I won't tell you a story today."  
The pull at the lightsaber finally stopped. This play I had won.  
Corran began to cry and his two brothers cried with him in solidarity. I knelt down and took the three into my arms.  
"Okay, okay. Now stop crying. If I forbid you something, there's always a reason. I don't do that to annoy you. A lightsaber is really not a toy for little boys. You could easily hurt yourself or others with it. Promise me that you let your fingers from the weapon."  
My sons nodded.  
"C'mon, let's go inside. It's much too hot out here in the afternoon."  
After we entered the house I sat down at a chair and told them one of their beloved stories.


	78. Anoat Base

The week on Tatooine had passed quickly.  
As promised, we spent an evening with Kustan and his family. He now had a very large family with seven children and his wife Iri'Ena was pregnant again. To be honest, I was glad that we had broke up then.

The next morning we were on our way back to Anoat Base. My parents were sad when they had to say goodbye to us. The time had been too short. They brought us with the family landspeeder to Mos Eisley spaceport.  
My mother embraced me.  
"Take care of you, Nomi."  
I smile at my parents and enter together with my children and Dash the Outrider. Shortly after we made the jump into hyperspace.

It was an uneventful journey. My husband looked at the chrono and stood up.  
"We will reach Anoat soon. I think it's better if we take a shower and get dressed."  
As soon as we were done, the signal sounded, indicating that we were returning to real space.  
We went in the cockpit and strapped in.  
"Activate the deflector shields, my love."  
When we dropped out of hyperspace, we saw Anoat in front of us. It was a beautiful sight.  
I turned on the com.  
"Ground control, this is the Outrider. Requesting landing permission."  
It took a moment before the answer came.  
"Ground control to Outrider, landing permission granted. Welcome back."

After the long journey we were safe and sound landed on the base.  
There Dash surprised me with a gift. He must have bought it secretly on Tatooine.  
"Close your eyes, Nomi. I've a surprise for you."  
He stuck a ring on my finger.  
"Now open your eyes, my love."  
It was a ring with a Corusca gem that looked even nicer than the one I had used to build my lightsaber.  
My husband hugged and kissed me.  
"I hope you like it."  
I smiled at him.  
"The ring looks wonderful. Thank you, darling."  
Dash grinned.  
"Only the best for my beloved wife."

The next morning Luke came to us.  
I was feeding Tasherit and Dash was playing with our sons.  
"Good morning, Nomi and Dash. Hello, you three."  
When Luke looked at my sons and greeted them, I felt a slight disturbance in the Force. I felt envy. I spoke to Luke in the Force.  
'What's the matter, Luke?'  
He shook his head ever so slightly when he answered me in the Force.  
'Ask me another time. You know, your husband doesn't like us talking in the Force, Nomi.'  
Luke had regained control and the Force flowed again in harmony.  
"It's nice that you're back. I hope you had a good trip and the time in hyperspace hasn't been too long for you."  
Dash answered him instead of me.  
"It was a good stay with my parents-in-law. And our travel home was uneventful."

Tasherit was now full and satisfied. I went with her to the bed, and put her in. Lovingly I looked at the little person that Dash and I had fathered on Nar Shaddaa. I dwelled on thoughts.  
Hopefully, our children would grow up in a better universe without violence, hatred and wars.  
They would also, unlike me, know from the beginning who their father is.  
Luke looked at me questioningly. He seemed to sense my conflicting feelings.  
"What's the matter, Nomi? What's on your mind?"  
Since he was my Jedi Master, I had to tell him.  
"There was a reason why we flew to Tatooine, Luke."  
"I thought so, Nomi. And what was the reason?"  
"I had thought about what you said about my impatience and lack of control. And suddenly I've wondered where my Force sensitivity comes from, when my whole family is non Force sensitive."  
Luke nodded.  
"I understand. And that's why you flew to your home planet. You've learned something that has confused you. Am I right?"  
"Yes, Luke."  
"Do you want to tell me what it is?"  
I hesitated.  
"It is... Jula Darklighter isn't my father, Luke.  
My childhood friend looked at me in amazement.  
"You aren't Jula's daughter? But who's your father?"  
"My father is or rather was a Jedi. His name was Ulic Bel-Baal. He was killed during the Clone Wars in an ambush by the Mandalorians. Jula Darklighter was his friend and married my mother, who was pregnant with me, after my father's death. He adopted me right after my birth. From my biological father I seem to have inherited my ability to use the Force."  
Luke frowned.  
"Ulic Bel-Baal you say? I think I carried away a book from the Lost City of the Jedi where something's written about your father. If you come to training, I've certainly found it. Well, I'll go better now. See you, Nomi. Goodbye, Dash."  
I wondered what would be written in the book about my father.

In the afternoon I went to Luke with Tasherit.  
I attached my newly built lightsaber to my belt. I also took the lightsaber he had given me, because I wanted to give it back to him.  
Luke was waiting for me, as always, at the door. He pointed to the lightsaber dangling from my belt.  
"I see you've constructed your own lightsaber, Nomi. You managed it in a surprisingly short time."  
He reached out and I gave him the weapon. Luke looked at it from all sides, then pressed the switch to activate it. With a hiss, the blood-red blade arose from the hilt. He wielded the activated lightsaber to test it. Then he nodded, satisfied.  
"Good job, Nomi. Which crystal did you use? So far I've only seen such a red blade with my father's lightsaber."  
"It's a Corusca gem."  
He deactivated the saber and handed it back to me. I attached the weapon on my belt. Then I handed him the lightsaber gifted by him.  
"Please take it back, Luke. Now that I have my own saber, I don't need it anymore."  
Luke shook his head.  
"No, please keep it and give it to Tasherit when she's old enough. But now come into the house. I found the book that contains your father's story."  
He hesitated.  
"You have to be strong, Nomi. I've already read it and it isn't pleasing what you'll learn."  
Luke hesitated again.  
"Your father's alive, Nomi."  
I wondered why that shouldn't be pleasing.

After reading the story in the book from the Jedi Lost City of the Jedi, I understood what Luke meant. I understood it all too well.  
Ulic Bel-Baal, my father wasn't killed during the Clone Wars. He had faked his death.  
He had become a Dark Jedi.  
Vader had seduced him to the dark side of the Force. Together they have committed unimaginable atrocities. Other Jedi had joined forces to put an end to my father's and Vader's activities. They had actually succeeded in capturing my father on Chandrila. Vader had escaped them. They condemned my father to never be able again to use the Force.  
When they tried to execute the verdict of Force blinding on him, they were attacked by Mandalorians allied with my father. All Jedi except one who could hide were slaughtered mercilessly. Ameno Pacem, the surviving Jedi, wrote down my father's story in this book.

Luke stood behind me.  
"You know what that means, Nomi."  
He didn't ask me a question, just stated it.  
"Your father will feel your growing in the Force and that of your children. As my father once felt it in my case. He will try to convert you or your children to the dark side. When that happens, you'll have to face a life and death fight, Nomi."  
I turned to Luke.  
"I can't kill my own father."  
Luke sighed.  
"The same answer I gave Obi-Wan on Dagobah when I learned that I would have to face Darth Vader again to become a full-fledged Jedi."  
"I can't do it, Luke."  
He looked at me with sympathy because he knew from experience what I was going through.  
"You'll have to do it, Nomi. One can't escape ones fate. We'll continue the training tomorrow. You're too excited today. Even the relaxation techniques would probably not help you now."

When I got home, Dash looked at me in horror.  
"What's wrong with you, darling? You look terrible."  
He took me lovingly in his arms.  
"Does it have anything to do with the book Luke had talked about? What was the content that has such an impact on you?"  
I knew it would be pointless to keep it from my husband. He would find out anyway sooner or later. The words were heavy on my lips.  
"My biological father's alive, Dash."  
I hesitated.  
"He's a Dark Jedi."

My husband looked at me aghast. He too knew what that meant to us.  
"We'll have to think about how to protect you and the children from him, Nomi."  
I didn't want to frustrate him, but I was sure there would be no protection from a Dark Jedi.


	79. Anoat Base

A few days later came the news that Coruscant was liberated by Alliance troops.  
Although it should be avoided, there had been casualties among the civilian population during the battle.  
At that time, a plague was also raging on the planet from which only non-humans were affected. The Empire spread the rumor that the Alliance was responsible. There was only one cure for this disease: Bacta.  
But the Bacta supplies were running low. There were too many patients to treat.  
Ysanne Isard had escaped during the liberation of Coruscant. Nobody knew whereto she had fled.  
And worst of all was, that my brother Gavin was severely wounded and Corran Horn was missing. For several standard days there was no piece of intelligence of Corran. I hoped he hadn't fallen into the hands of the Imps.  
The memory of what Iceheart had done to my husband was still fresh.

I made good progress with my Jedi training.  
Also the triplets were now trained intensively by Luke. I asked him why he started so early with their training.  
He looked at me seriously.  
"It will be easier if they become familiar with the Force at this young age. They are also better prepared if their grandfather wants to convert them to the dark side. Their power of resistance will be greater, Nomi."  
I looked at my Jedi Master doubtfully.  
"What should toddlers do against a Dark Jedi, Luke?"  
"You forget that even as unborn babies they could protect you from my father. Your triplets are strong in the Force. But you should better continue to practice."  
I nodded and opened myself to the Force.  
"Yes, Nomi. Feel the Force that surrounds you. You are one with all living beings. Feel their presence. Now, levitate the stone. Good, Nomi. You're doing really well. And now look. I'll show you something and you'll copy what I'm doing."  
I didn't believe my eyes. Luke levitated himself. He floated three meters above the ground in front of me in the air.  
"Now it's your turn, Nomi. Come, join me. It's a bit lonely up here."  
I laughed.  
"Okay, I'm coming. I don't want you to die of boredom up there. But I think if Dash see how we both float in the air, he will doubt his sanity."  
Luke laughed too.  
"Yes I believe that too. Luckily he isn't here. C'mon, Nomi. I know you can do it."  
I gave myself completely to the Force and felt how it carried me slowly upwards. Finally, I hovered at the same level as Luke. He smiled at me.  
"You've really learned a lot. Your mastery of the Force is perfect. You are no longer plagued by self-doubt. For a long time I haven't heard from you that you something can't do. I feel that you become stronger in the Force with each passing day."

He shouldn't have said that, because at once my father came to mind, who would certainly felt also how I grew in the Force. Luke once told me that a Jedi who has learned to use the Force is like a bright light in the universe. The more he gains knowledge and experience, the brighter this light shines. Once this process has begun, it's unstoppable.  
I slowly lowered myself to the ground. Luke followed my example and let himself sink down next to me.  
"What's the matter, Nomi? I feel fear and worry. You mustn't give in to this fear. Remember that fear can also be part of the dark side."  
He put his arm around me.  
"Tell me what troubles you, Nomi. Maybe I can help you. Back then on Tatooine we had no secrets from each other."  
I leaned against him.  
"I'm afraid that my father, wherever he may be, can also feel the progress I make. He'll also be able to feel the presence of the triplets in the Force. Maybe even my daughter. I feel that the day of the confrontation isn't far off and I don't know if I can stand against him. What if I succumb to him or give in to the dark side?"  
Luke looked at me confidently.  
"I know you can do it, Nomi. You've become very strong. If you fully trust the Force, you will emerge victorious from the battle."  
He stood up.  
"We'll stop training for today. Do you want to come into the house?"  
I nodded.  
"With pleasure, Luke. I've to feed Tasherit anyway. It's time for her lunch."

In Luke's house I sat down in a chair and began to feed my daughter. Tasherit sucked so eagerly, as if she were afraid that the source could run dry early.  
My husband came to pick us up.  
"Hello, Luke. Are you coming, Nomi?"  
"Yes, Dash, when I've fed our daughter. It may take a while. Take a seat."  
I felt it. Something was wrong with my husband.  
"What's the matter, Dash?"  
He avoided my gaze.  
"Nothing, darling."  
"You're a bad liar, Dash. I feel that something depresses you."  
"You scare me with your Jedi skills. I can't hide anything from you. Alright, if you really want to know. I'm still thinking about how to protect ourselves from your father. Maybe you know some advice, Luke."  
Luke looked at him.  
"I'm sorry, Dash, but I can't give you any advice. Nothing and no one could stop Nomi's father if he wants to get her and his grandchildren. No matter where we hide Nomi and the children, Ulic Bel-Baal would seek them out with the Force. Even I couldn't prevent him from approaching them. When that happens, your wife will have to fight her father. I can only see to it that Nomi's strong enough in the Force to resist the Dark Jedi, who is her father."  
Dash looked at Luke seriously.  
"Promise me that you teach Nomi the ways of the Force as well as possible. I couldn't stand losing her or the children, Luke."  
"I promise, Dash, that I'll do everything to protect Nomi and your children from harm."


	80. Anoat Base

Luke had intensified the training.  
He was obsessed with the idea of making me a perfect Jedi. Some days he chased me through the undergrowth until I collapsed from exhaustion. Then he allowed me no rest and I had to fight him with the lightsaber. There was no point in complaining to him. He was relentless.  
"Nomi, I can't leave you alone. Try to understand, only as a fully trained Jedi you will survive a fight against your father."  
I envied my sons. With them he wasn't so relentless. For them, learning how to use the Force was just another interesting game. The little ones had made great progress, their mastery of the Force was almost perfect. Effortlessly, they levitated huge boulders and ignited fire with the Force. Dash shook his head in disbelief when his sons practiced. If they hadn't been too young, Luke would have shown them how to handle a lightsaber.

One day I was feeding my daughter when I sensed Dash was at the door and hesitated to enter the room.  
"Come in, Dash. We are almost done."  
It was indeed my husband, I wasn't mistaken. He bend down to me and gave me a kiss.  
"How did you knew it's me when the door is closed, darling?"  
I laughed.  
"You forget that I am a Jedi, my love."  
He stroked his little daughter's head. The infant wasn't bothered by the touch while sucking.  
"Our daughter has grown quite a bit. Let me guess, Nomi, special Jedi milk?"  
I laughed because of my husband's funny idea.  
"No, Dash, I think there is really no difference. Say, shouldn't you be in the command center?"  
Dash grinned at me.  
"No, not today, sweetheart. I have good news for you, your brother's getting better. He is slowly recovering from his severe wound. I knew that a Darklighter wouldn't be killed so fast.  
Unfortunately we still have no news concerning Corran Horn. He's still untraceable. Nobody knows anything about him. I hope he's still alive."  
I sighed.  
"Yes, I hope so too, Dash."

Tasherit was now full and satisfied. After a while I put her in her bed. The triplets were with Leebo in the kitchen and would be busy there for a while. I tenderly embraced my husband, who looked at me in amazement.  
"Hey, Nomi, do you want to seduce me? What about your training with Luke?"  
Instead of answering, I kissed him and pulled him with me.  
"Come, Dash, we drive to the forest lake."  
My husband hesitated.  
"But Luke..."  
"What do I care about Luke? I want to swim and to have fun with you. The triplets and Tasherit are in good hands with Leebo. C'mon, Dash."  
Finally, Dash willingly let himself pull outside, where I had the speeder bikes ready.

After a standard hour we arrived our destination. Dash lifted me off my speeder bike and kissed me full of tenderness.  
"Now show me if you haven't forgotten anything. Let's swim."  
I nodded and began to undress slowly, while my husband did the same. We waded hand in hand in the cool water. And then I showed him that I had nothing forgotten of what he had taught me.  
My husband smiled at me.  
"Do you know how proud I am of you, my love?"  
I swam toward him and kissed him.  
"We should go out of the water. I'm cold, Dash."  
Dash grinned mischievous.  
"I know a way how to warm you quickly."  
He lifted me out of the water and took me in his arms. Then he waded to the shore, laid me on the blanket and himself close to me. Dash began to dry me and to cuddle with me.  
Suddenly I felt danger.  
Dash noticed that something was wrong with me and paused in his caresses.  
"What's the matter, darling? Is there something wrong? Or did I something wrong?"  
I sat up.  
"I don't know, Dash. There was a disturbance in the Force somehow. I felt cold, death."  
I reached out with the Force to touch my children.  
No, that couldn't be true. I felt nothing. My children were vanished.  
My husband looked worried at me.  
"What's wrong with you, Nomi? You're become deathly pale."  
"We have to go back immediately, Dash. Our children are gone. I can't feel their presence anymore."  
Hastily we dressed and raced with the speeder bikes back to base.

Before the speeder bike had stopped properly, I jumped down and ran into the house.  
"Corran! Dash! Biggs!"  
There was no answer.  
I hurried into the bedroom to Tasherit's bed.  
It was empty.  
Dash had followed me in the meantime and went to the kitchen.  
"Nomi!"  
I followed his call and found him standing next to Leebo, who was deactivated and had a retaining bolt attached to his chest. Dash activated the droid and removed the retaining bolt.  
"Thanks the maker, you're back."  
My husband shook his droid.  
"What happened, Leebo? Where are our children?"  
Leebo looked around.  
"They aren't here?"  
"No, Leebo! So, what happened here?"  
The droid seemed to have to remember.  
"There was a tall man. I had never seen him before. He wore a black Mandalorian armor with a black hooded cloak. I couldn't see his face because he wore a black helmet with a mask. From his belt hung a lightsaber. Then I don't know anything anymore. He must have deactivated me."  
Dash and I looked at each other in horror.  
A Mandalorian armor and a lightsaber, that could only mean one thing, my father had found us and kidnapped the children.

Our worst fears had come true.  
I blamed myself. If only we hadn't driven to the forest lake. Maybe I could have prevented the kidnapping of my children by the Dark Jedi. I had to find our children at all costs. Nobody, not even my father, was allowed to take them from us.

I went to our bedroom. There I dressed in my Jedi clothes, and attached the lightsaber to my belt. My husband followed me.  
"What are you doing, Nomi?"  
"I'll reclaim our children, Dash."  
Dash looked at me seriously.  
"Where do you want to go in order to reclaim them? You don't know where they are. Where do you want to look for them in this vast galaxy?"  
I answered him more confidently than I felt.  
"The Force will guide me."  
I wanted to leave, but he held me back.  
"Wait, Nomi, I come with you. It's too dangerous for you to go alone."  
At that moment, Luke came in. I felt that he already knew what had happened.  
"I felt a disturbance in the Force, Nomi. Ulic Bel-Baal has found you and kidnapped the children. But he doesn't just want the children, but also you, Nomi. He wants his daughter, that he can convert her to the dark side. Therefore, he will allow you to find his whereabouts. If you are in his reach, I can't do anything for you, Nomi. In this fight you're on your own."  
Dash stepped behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.  
"My wife won't be alone. I'll accompany her and do everything in my power to protect her."  
Luke looked at him with pity.  
"You won't be able to do much against a Dark Jedi, Dash. Your attempt to protect Nomi can cost you your life."  
My husband nodded.  
"I'm aware of that, Luke, but I swore back then on Endor to stick by her. I'm serious about this vow and I'll keep it, even if it should cost me my life. Without Nomi and the children, life would be pointless to me anyway."  
Luke sighed.  
"Of course it's your decision what you're doing, Dash. I hope you succeed. May the Force be with you."

After we had informed General Madine, we were with the Outrider en route to...  
Where to? This was the question.  
Our children didn't respond to my calls in the Force.


	81. Orus Sector

We were already wandering round the galaxy for a standard week looking for our children. Still no trace. It was as if they had vanished in thin air. The only thing we knew was that they were still alive. If they had been killed, I would have felt it even over long distances.

We were in the Orus sector and I reached out with the Force.  
'Dash? Corran? Biggs? Tasherit? Where are you?'  
There was no answer.  
Suddenly, I heard an unfamiliar voice in my head. It was a man's voice.  
'Did you finally find the way to your father? You kept me waiting for a long time, daughter. But now we will be together at last.'  
I had no doubt that it was really Ulic Bel-Baal who was speaking to me in the Force.  
'Give me my children back! You have no right to them, father!'  
He laughed.  
'That's what you think. You want that them be taught the heresy of Luke Skywalker and Yoda. I must and will prevent that, daughter. I know that you are also a follower of this heresy, which hampers your development to your true greatness. Come to me, daughter and I will show you the true nature of the Force. It is the only way for you. Give in to the dark side of the Force. Become my apprentice and you will see your children again.'  
'Where are you, father?'  
Ulic Bel-Baal laughed again.  
'Oh, I'm not far away, daughter. You can find me in my fortress on the planet Algarian. I will wait for you there.'

Dash had been watching me all the time. He had noticed that something was going on.  
"What's the matter, Nomi?"  
I felt like I was awakening from a deep trance.  
"My father talked to me. He wants to convert me to the dark side of the Force. We have to go to Algarian."  
My husband looked at me in horror.  
"Algarian? This is still Imperial territory, Nomi."  
"Our children are there, Dash."  
He looked at me doubtfully.  
"Are you sure, darling?"  
I shook my head.  
"No, but I'll be sure when we're in the Dufilvan sector. If they aren't there, we still have enough time to disappear. For our children's sake, we must take the risk, Dash."  
My husband nodded.  
"All right, I'm setting a course for the Dufilvan sector."


	82. Dufilvan Sector

We had reached the Dufilvan sector without significant incidents.  
I reached out with the Force and vaguely felt the presences of our children. They were overlaid by a stronger dark presence. My husband looked at me expectantly.  
"Well?"  
I nodded.  
"Yes, our children are here and also my father. They're on the planet right in front of us."  
Dash searched in the star charts.  
"Ah, yes, here we have it. It's indeed Algarian. This is really a planet fit for a Dark Jedi."

We initiated the landing approach.  
After we entered the planet's atmosphere, I focused again on the presences of our children.  
"We have to go to the northern continent of the planet. They're there."  
Below us we saw the rugged planetary surface. The individual land masses were separated by deep black seas and the plains showed only sparse vegetation.  
When we reached the northern continent, we saw a fortress right in front of us situated at the shore. It was not unlike that of Darth Vader on Vjun. Halfway up the fortress was a landing platform. Dash steered the Outrider there and landed it.  
As soon as we landed, the freighter was surrounded by stormtroopers.  
My husband looked at me after he cut the engines.  
"And what are we going to do now, Nomi?"  
I shrug.  
"First of all, we leave the ship."  
I lowered the ramp and opened the hatch. When we were walking down the ramp we saw at the foot of the ramp a tall, slender figure in a black hooded cloak standing. I couldn't see a face in the depths of the hood as the figure wore a black helmet with a mask. My gaze slid to the activated lightsaber, which held the figure in the hand. I was shocked.  
The lightsaber had a green blade.  
My own father, not Luke, was the enemy I saw in my vision.

Ulic Bel-Baal deactivated his lightsaber and approached me.  
When he stood in front of me he removed his hood and took off his helmet with the mask.  
I had expected to look in a disfigured face. Instead, I looked into the most attractive face I've ever seen at a man. My father had regular facial features with high cheekbones. His lips spoke of a certain hardness and cruelty. And then his eyes. They were of a bright green, which was very similar to the color of my own eyes. I couldn't deny it, this man was my father. There was no doubt for me. His hair was of a deep blackness with gray strands.  
It was no wonder my mother had fallen in love with this man at the time.  
Ulic Bel-Baal had to be nearly 65 years old Standard according to my calculations, but he looked as if he was only 50.

He gave a nod to the stormtroopers and they retreated into the fortress.  
Now my husband and I were alone with my father.  
"I welcome you, daughter. Finally comes together, what belongs together. I will show you things that you can't even slightly imagine. You will become a powerful Dark Jedi, my child.  
Together, we will resurrect the Empire. Together we will rule the galaxy as father and daughter and your children will follow us on the throne. I will lead the galaxy to glorious times together with you."  
I shook my head.  
"No, father. I'll never belong to the dark side."  
Then I used the Jedi mind control, as I had learned by Luke.  
'You will give me my children and grant me and my husband free withdrawal, father.'  
Ulic Bel-Baal laughed.  
"Nice try, daughter, but you can't do anything to me with your poorly trained skills."

I suddenly saw my children standing at a window. Longingly, they stretched out their arms to me and called for me in the Force.  
'Mama!'  
"Give me my children, father."  
"Give in to the dark side of the Force and you will get your children back."  
Dash had been holding back all this time, but now he was at an end with his patience. He drew his blaster and shot at my father.  
But my father parried off the shot with his hands and wrenched the weapon from my husband with the Force. My husband was now defenseless, but that wasn't enough for my father.  
He reached out his hands toward Dash, and from his fingertips came pure destructive energy of the dark side. The blue Force lightning hit my husband right in the middle of the chest and flickered all over his body from there. Dash collapsed with a scream. My father continued to attack my husband with Force lightning. Dash doubled over in pain and reached out his hands toward me seeking help. His voice was only a whisper.  
"Nomi, please help me. I'm dying."  
My father laughed and continued his attack.  
"Nomi!"  
A last tormented outcry, then Dash had lost consciousness.

I looked from my unconscious husband to my father.  
"Why, father?"  
He didn't answer my question. Instead, he held out his hand to me.  
"Come to me, daughter. Your place is by my side. As you have seen, it is useless to resist."  
He pointed to Dash, who laid motionless on the ground.  
"Your husband, this weakling, can't help you. He is no Jedi and no match for the dark side of the Force. He will die, just like you, if you don't give in to the dark side. I gave you your life and I can take it from you, daughter."  
I felt that Dash was still alive. But I knew he wouldn't survive if he didn't get help. His breathing was labored. I tried to get in my husband's mind to give him relief.  
'Dash, can you hear me? Stay calm and try to breathe as deeply as possible. You are in no pain. Everything will be fine, darling.'  
My husband's breathing normalized a bit.  
"Very impressive, daughter, but in vain. You can't save him from death. You just delayed his death."  
My father looked at me with cold eyes. My father, the man who had once fathered me, no longer existed.  
I tried to fight the growing anger in me with a Jedi relaxation technique.  
"Yes, that's good. I feel your anger and hatred, daughter. Take your Jedi weapon and attack me."  
Finally I had myself under control again. I looked at Bel-Baal and decided not to attack him.  
If he wanted to fight with me, he would have to take the first step. I sent soothing thoughts to my children and to my husband through the Force.  
'Hang in there, Dash. Please, don't die. There is no death, Dash, there is the Force. Trust the Force.'

I faced the man who was once my father.  
"I tell you again, father. I'll never join the dark side, I'll rather die."  
Bel-Baal glared at me full of hatred.  
"As you wish, daughter. "  
The same instant he had activated his lightsaber and attacked me.  
At the last moment I was able to ward off his blow aimed at my neck. As our blades clashed, sparks flew and the air crackled with the electrical discharges. Thrust after thrust, feint after feint came in quick succession. We fought bitterly against each other. Bel-Baal was physically stronger than me, but I still managed to defend myself against him.  
Suddenly, I wasn't just exposed to his lightsaber attacks. Using the Force he let countless small stones pelt down on me.  
I tried to ward them off. But my focus on the lightsaber battle against my father faltered by doing this. My opponent managed to knock the lightsaber out of my hand. The saber immediately deactivated and fell to the ground. I reached out my right hand and summoned my lightsaber with the Force. I activated it just in time to fend off a huge blow that would otherwise had cleaved my head open.  
The shower of stones became more violent. I had already suffered countless little wounds that hurt terribly. Suddenly Corran spoke with me in the Force.  
'Help, Mama.'  
I could hardly believe it, but the shower of stones stopped as fast as it had come.  
Bel-Baal swore and drove me back with quick successive strikes. Unstoppable, we approached the edge of the landing platform and the yawning abyss. I frantically tried to escape the deadly danger.  
With a huge leap I jumped over my attacker and came to a halt behind him. My father turned.  
I jabbed out with my lightsaber and Bel-Baal tried to fend off the thrust. In vain.  
The red blade bore through his chest.  
Ulic Bel-Baal was dead.  
Exhausted from the fight I stood in front of the corpse. I had fulfilled my destiny and killed my own father.

I reached out with the Force and influenced the minds of the stormtroopers. Then I invaded the fortress to pick up my children.  
I found my children in a small room on the same level as the landing platform. When I opened the door they came running towards me.  
"Mama, home?"  
I went to the cradle that stood in one corner of the room and took out my daughter.  
"Yes, my little ones, we're going home now. Come."

Obediently, my sons followed me to the landing platform. I went with them in the Outrider and strapped them in.  
Then I took care of Dash, who was still lying motionless on the ground. Using the Force I levitated my husband in the freighter and let him slowly sank down on his bed.  
I went into the cockpit, made the pre-flight check and started the engines. Slowly, the Outrider ascended into orbit of Algarian. When I left the gravitational shadow of the planet, I jumped into hyperspace.

I switched to autopilot and went to the rear to take care of my husband.  
Using the Force I treated his injuries he had sustained by the negative energies of the dark side. I touched every single vessel, every single fiber with the Force. The injured organs began to heal under my touch. I smiled.  
I was sure that my husband, contrary to Bel-Baal's prediction, would live.


	83. Hyperspace

We were already two standard days in hyperspace when Dash woke up from his deep unconsciousness. He looked around irritated.  
"Where am I, Nomi?"  
I smiled at him.  
"You're where you belong to, Dash. Aboard the Outrider."  
When he tried to sit up, he fell with a groan back into the pillows.  
"Oh, damn, Nomi. It hurts so bad. I feel as if my whole body had been crushed."  
Then he remembered why we were on the way.  
"The children, Nomi, where are the children?"  
He tried to sit up again, but I gently pushed him back into the pillows.  
"You mustn't churn, Dash. By the Force lightning you've suffered serious injuries that are slow to heal."  
He pushed my hand away impatiently.  
"What about our children?"  
"They're on board, darling, and all four are well."  
Dash gave me a constrained smile.  
"We saved our children."  
He groaned in pain again.  
"Wait, Dash, I'll get you some painkillers."  
I brought him a strong painkiller which took effect in seconds. My husband smiled at me gratefully.  
"What about your... father?"  
I had suspected that he would ask this question soon.  
"Bel-Baal is dead."  
I was unable to bring myself to call the Dark Jedi father who had kidnapped my children and tried to kill me when I didn't convert to the dark side. Dash looked at me questioningly.  
"Have you killed him, Nomi?"  
I avoided his eye and nodded.  
"You killed your own father?"  
I turned my face to him. Dash looked at me in horror.  
"Don't look at me like that! I... I had no choice. I didn't want to kill him, Dash, believe me."  
He raised slowly his hand and stroked my cheek which were wet from tears.  
"Calm down, darling. I didn't want to torment you with my question."

At that moment the triplets came rushing in and tried to swoop down on their father.  
"No, Biggs, Corran, Dash. You can't go to your father on the bed now. He's very ill and needs to rest."  
Corran looked at me and noticed my tears.  
"Mama cries."  
Then Biggs asked a question that scared me.  
"Mama? Papa dies?"  
I wondered how such a little child could know anything about death. What had Bel-Baal done with them in the one week my children were with him? And I wondered if I would ever learn that. At the same time I was afraid to find out.  
"No, Biggs, your Papa doesn't die. He just needs a lot of rest so that he can get well again."  
I hugged and squeezed my children.  
"You have been very brave, my little ones. I thank you that you have stopped this shower of stones. You've already learned a lot from Luke."  
All three beamed with joy at the praise.

The painkiller had now become fully effective and Dash had fallen asleep.  
"Come, children, your father is sleeping now. He must sleep a lot, so that he will recover."  
I heard Tasherit cry. She was hungry.  
Carefully, I took my little daughter from her bed and began to nurse her. Her brothers watched attentively. Dash Jr. pulled at my sleeve.  
"Mama, black man, grandfather?"  
Had Bel-Baal told the triplets that he was their grandfather? I told them the truth. They shouldn't grow up like me with a lie.  
"Yes, the black man was your grandfather. He was my father."  
I could literally see how their little brains were processing the information. Until now, they had reckoned Jula Darklighter to be my father and their grandfather. Maybe they had assumed that Bel-Baal was Dash's father. But my husband's parents were long dead.

A few standard hours later, our children laid peacefully in their beds. I went a last time to Dash before going to sleep to make sure everything was okay with him. I was glad when I saw that he was asleep and didn't seem to have any pain. The strong painkiller I had given him seemed to have still its effect.  
Finally I was able to get some rest. The constant watch on my husband's bed had taken its toll on me. I was at the end of my tether.  
But I shouldn't find rest. As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the terrible images when Bel-Baal attacked my husband with Force lightning. Those images were followed by images of the lightsaber duel and of the moment when my red blade bore through Bel-Baal's chest.  
I didn't know if I would ever cope with this guilt.


	84. Anoat Base

After a long journey through hyperspace we finally landed on Anoat.  
Dash was feeling a little better now, though he still was in pain. Maybe it got him bad because he wasn't a Jedi and couldn't resist the destructive energies of the dark side. But how could I have protected my husband when Bel-Baal attacked him?

Dash wanted to leave the freighter on his own feet. On this point, he was almost as stubborn as his sons.  
"No, Nomi, I don't want you to levitate me out of the Outrider. How would this look like?"  
I knew from years of experience that it wouldn't make sense to discuss with Dash.  
I sighed.  
"All right, if you really want to walk, then walk."  
But that wasn't all he wanted.  
"And I don't want to be taken to the medbay."  
All that was missing was that he stamped his foot like Corran.  
"Shouldn't we leave the decision to 2-1B?"  
My husband shook his head, which brought him an exacerbation of pain, as I could see from his expression.

When we left the Outrider with the children, Dash leaned heavily on me. Luke was already waiting for us at the foot of the ramp. He looked at me knowingly.  
"You killed Bel-Baal, Nomi. I felt it in the Force when he died."  
He looked at Dash as he continued.  
"Your father almost killed your husband. You were lucky that you've survived this attack, Dash.  
I know how you feel now. I felt the same way then when the Emperor attacked me in the same way."  
Then he turned to me again.  
"Was there no way to bring your father back to the light side, Nomi?"  
I shook my head.  
"I felt that everything that was once good in him was completely obliterated. He was too deep entangled in the dark side. It wasn't possible to bring him back to the light, Luke."  
"That's unfortunate."  
Then I spoke to him about my biggest fear.  
"Tell me, Luke, did I take the first step on my way to the dark side by killing Bel-Baal?"  
My Jedi Master looked at me kindly.  
"No, Nomi. You did everything right and used the Force only for defense. You didn't want to kill your father. The moment he died, there was no hatred in you."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, I only defended myself when he attacked me."  
My childhood friend looked at me seriously.  
"The Force was with you, Nomi. If your father hadn't been killed, he would have killed you. Nothing could have prevented this and your children would become servants of evil. You're not to blame for what has happened, Nomi. You must try to get over it and forget. Even if you want it so much, you can't undo it."

Forget? I wondered how to forget when every night the image of my dying father haunted me in my dreams.


	85. Anoat Base

Dash has awakened me in the middle of the night.  
"What's wrong with you, Nomi? You screamed in your sleep."  
I looked at my husband irritated.  
"Did you dream of your father?"  
I nodded.  
Dash took me gently in his arms.  
"You have changed a lot since the death of your father. I hardly recognize you. You must finally free yourself from your feelings of guilt. Would you prefer if you were dead in his place?"  
I shook my head.  
"No, Dash, but it's so ineffable hard to live with this guilt."  
"Why do you always talk of guilt, Nomi? Damn, he attacked you. You aren't to blame for your father's death. Face it."  
He kissed me.  
"Try to sleep, darling. Everything will be alright."  
In my mind, I knew it was inevitable. But my feeling told me it wasn't right what I had done.  
I shouldn't have fought Bel-Baal. But if I hadn't fought against him, I would have been slain by him and my children would serve the dark side and bring disaster to the entire galaxy. Nevertheless I had trouble dealing with the fact that I killed the man who once gave me my life.

The next morning Dash wanted to come along to simulator training.  
"I don't know if that's a good idea, Dash. Your injuries haven't healed yet. You need rest and not the simulator's vibrations."  
He turned towards me, but what he wanted to reply to me, was replaced by a loud cry of pain.  
My husband looked at me. His face was contorted with pain.  
"I think you're right, Nomi. Damn, that hurts. Your father has done a great job. Will I never get rid of this pain?"  
I caressed his cheek.  
"Oh, Dash. You're too impatient. I already do everything that is in my power. Maybe you should have gone to the med bay after all. The Bacta tanks..."  
He didn't let me finish.  
" Wild Banthas couldn't drag me there. To be treated by you is much more pleasant. When you gently stroke my body with your small, tender hands and let the Force flow. Oh, my darling, it's a wonderful feeling. Bacta, on the other hand, is sticky and you don't get the smell out of your nose for weeks."  
I sighed.  
"Do you know how exhausting it is for me to focus the Force on your injuries? I had hoped that the Kaiburr crystal could help. But Luke says it has no effect on injuries caused by the dark side of the Force."  
"Did I just hear my name? Good morning, Nomi. Good morning, Dash."

The triplets rushed toward their teacher.  
"Hello, Luke!"  
He bent down to our sons.  
"Well, you three? Did you do your exercises?"  
Dash Jr., Biggs and Corran nodded eagerly.  
"Yeah? Then show me what you can. It's a bit cold in your parents' quarters, make sure that it gets warmer. This is your turn, Corran. Think of what I have taught you."  
Corran closed his eyes and concentrated. I could feel him drawing at the Force. He managed to gain access to the Force without much difficulty.  
We all felt the room getting noticeably warmer.  
My youngest son opened his eyes and looked at me and Dash proudly. I stroked him lovingly through the brown curls.  
"You've done very well, sweetie."  
I suddenly felt a disturbance in the Force that emanated from my other two sons. They were jealous of their younger brother.  
I didn't believe my eyes when a smaller stone flew straight toward Corran. When I looked at Dash Jr. and Biggs, I saw that they had reached out with their little hands and steered the stone directly onto their brother's head. They wanted to hurt him.  
I focused on the stone and distracted its trajectory so that it bounced against the wall.  
My sons responded to the thwarting of their plan with a burst of temper.  
I was so shocked by their action that I shouted at them.  
"Dash! Biggs! Do you know what you just wanted to do? Damn, do you realize that you used the dark side? Never do that again! Do you understand me? You have no reason whatsoever to be jealous of Corran!"  
My husband stood by and listened to my outburst. Dash didn't know how to handle the skills of his children. He was unable to cope with them.

Since the triplets were prisoners of their grandfather, such incidents became more frequent.  
In this one standard week Bel-Baal had managed to inflict great damage.  
The usually so calm and gentle Corran had already tried to hurt his brothers using the Force, if something didn't go according to his will.  
I didn't know what to do so that our children wouldn't become victims of the dark side.  
Luke looked at me in surprise. He had never witnessed that I lose my temper like this.  
'Nomi'  
He addressed me in the Force.  
'You've to stay calm. With yelling, you won't help your sons. They're children, even very young children. They don't know what they're doing yet, Nomi. They aren't yet aware that they're doing something evil. It looks like your father had a bad influence on them. But I also learned something from these events. Future Jedi must be systematically shielded from harmful influences. Don't be afraid, Nomi, I will see to it that your sons remain on the path of light. I promise.'  
I nodded.  
'Thank you, Luke. Thankfully, Bel-Baal couldn't influence Tasherit. She was much too young for his purposes.'  
My childhood friend looked at me in astonishment.  
'You always say Bel-Baal, when you speak of your father. Why? Can't you accept that he was your father?'  
My reply was fierce.  
"My father is Jula Darklighter, Luke!"  
Luke flinched and Dash looked at me stunned. My husband hadn't heard our conversation in the Force and was therefore completely surprised by my fierce reaction to Luke's question.  
My Jedi Master shook his head.  
"Nomi, there's no point in denying the truth."  
My reply was even more fierce than before.  
"You don't get it, Luke!"  
He looked me straight in the eyes.  
"More than you think, Nomi. When Vader told me in Cloud City that he was my father, I didn't want to believe it. It took a long time until I could really accept this awful truth for me.  
But believe me, it was a hard and difficult fight with myself until I was capable of it."  
Dash came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.  
"Luke is right, Nomi. You must finally accept the truth that Ulic Bel-Baal was your father and that you aren't to blame for his death. Nobody knows why he once walked the dark path, where there was no return for him. Perhaps he had no choice and was secretly hoping that he could come back to the light again when he has fulfilled his task."  
I shook my head.  
"Inside him was only darkness, Dash. All what was good in my father was completely obliterated. He was completely consumed by the dark side."  
Tears came to my eyes. Long time after the events on Algarian I cried for my dead father.  
I hadn't been able to save him from the dark side. Dash held me in his arms as I was shaken by crying fits.  
The triplets stood by and didn't know what to do.  
Biggs looked at Luke.  
"Mama crying because us?"  
"No, your mother cries for her father, who fell victim to the dark side of the Force. I hope she never has to cry for you."  
My husband gently wiped the tears from my face.  
"Yes, crying will help you, darling. Now that you have finally accepted that Ulic Bel-Baal was your father, your terrible nightmares maybe will end."  
I eluded his embrace and wiped the tears with the back of my hand.  
"I have to go, Dash. The simulator training is waiting for me. I'm already late. See you this afternoon, Luke."  
I hoped that I wouldn't think about the whole mess during training.

When I got out of the simulator General Madine stoodin front of it.  
"Major Darklighter, may I speak to you for a moment?"  
I saluted and stood then in attention.  
"Of course, General."  
He smiled at me.  
"So overcorrect, Major Darklighter? That's not how I know you. Well, we are all getting older and more mature. There is not much left of the young enthusiastic woman who once wanted to join the Alliance at all costs."  
I could vividly imagine that he remembered it. General Madine was the one who had recruited me for the Alliance. When he told me that they can need me, I almost flung my arms around his neck.  
The general continued talking.  
"I understand that you are making good progress on your Jedi training with Master Skywalker."  
I blushed.  
"You must ask Master Skywalker, sir. I can't allow me to judge that."  
Crix Madine nodded.  
"Well, be that as it may, your results in the simulator are still above average. I even think that your Jedi skills have increased your military capabilities. Well, to cut a long story short, Major, we want to offer you command of your own squadron. You will then be promoted to Commander and command our best pilots."  
I was speechless. An own squadron and promotion to Commander. My greatest wish would come true.  
"The Squadron, like Rogue Squadron, would be in the front line. But you are accustomed to that, Major."  
In the front line. This was the moment when I woke up from my dreams.  
With a husband and four children, I couldn't possibly agree to the offer.  
Suddenly it was as if I heard Luke's voice.  
'A Jedi doesn't crave for adventures and battles, Nomi.'  
I nodded.  
"You accept, Major?"  
I startled.  
"No, sir. I must reject your offer, as tempting as it is for me. Please don't get me wrong, but I can't. I have a family that needs me. My children, my husband... it's not like before."  
General Madine nodded.  
"I understand, Major, and I accept your decision. There is something else. The base will be disbanded and all personnel will be relocated to Coruscant. We will leave in two standard days. Dismissed, Major Darklighter."  
I saluted again, turned and went back to my quarters.

Dash was waiting for me.  
He immediately noticed that I pondered about something. In the years we had been together, he'd learned to read my face like an open book, even without the abilities of a Jedi. He hugged me and gave me a long, tender kiss.  
"What's the matter, darling? What are you thinking about?"  
"General Madine has offered me command of a squadron, Dash."  
He looked at me questioningly.  
"And what did you answer him?"  
"I refused."  
My husband breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I was afraid that you agreed. Did he also tell you that the base is being dissolved and we all need to go to Coruscant?"  
I nodded. He pulled me close.  
"It is a pity, my love. This decision means saying goodbye to our forest lake. What do you think? Shouldn't we... "  
He didn't continue to talk, but kissed me passionately.  
"You still haven't recovered from your injuries, Dash."  
My husband kissed me again. Then he whispered in my ear.  
"I feel much better. Let's drive to the lake."  
"No, Dash."  
He looked at me disappointed.  
"A pity, who knows if we will find such an idyllic spot on Coruscant."  
I looked at the chrono set in the wall.  
"I have to go to Luke for training, Dash."

The training was as usual very exhausting and I fell in the evening, when I had taken care of the children, dead tired next to my husband into bed.  
After a short time I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep for the first time after a long time.


	86. Anoat Base

The whole base was filled with a frenzy of activity. It was a lot to organize. After all, it was no small thing to relocate the equipment and the entire staff of a base of this size.  
The news we got from Coruscant didn't sound good. I knew that we would come to a pestilential and partially destroyed planet. The non-human inhabitants of Coruscant died by the thousands on the Krytos plague. The Bacta supplies weren't enough to treat all patients.  
New Bacta was hard to come by.  
There were already voices on Coruscant saying that the non-humans under the Empire were better off.  
Ysanne Isard was still untraceable. No one knew in which Womprat hole she had hidden.  
Also from Corran Horn was still missing any trace. Dash and I hoped very much that our friend was still alive.

For the time being I had to abandon my training with Luke. I wondered if we would be able to resume it on Coruscant.  
Luke gave me a friendly look as I said goodbye.  
"You'll make it, Nomi. I taught you everything I know. You are strong in the Force and will be able to resist the dark side, wherever you'll meet it. I'll go to Coruscant later."  
He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.  
"May the Force be with you and your family, Nomi."

My husband and I decided to make the trip to Coruscant with the Outrider, and not a troop transport. As a result, we also had one more ship for escort. The Aquarius was brought to the docking bay of a Nebulon B frigate.  
Slowly I wondered if it wouldn't be better to sell the good old Aquarius. What should we do with two freighters in our restless way of life? When I spoke to Dash about this, he looked at me aghast.  
"You want to sell the Aquarius? Do you actually know how many credits it cost me that time to buy the old hunk of junk? I thought you're attached to the ship."  
Slowly, I believed that it wasn't a good idea to talk to my husband about my plan.  
"Yes, I'm attached to the old girl. But what shall we do with two ships?"  
I knew the look on his face too well.  
"What shall we do with two ships? You don't ask that seriously, right? Nomi, it won't be forever war and then we need a means of existence. The Alliance will no longer need our services. We can establish a small transport company with the two freighters."  
That didn't sound like the Dash Rendar I knew and loved. Besides, I wasn't sure that the Alliance wouldn't need our services in the future. At least the Alliance would need my Jedi skills.  
Dash was still looking at me with that expression and I relented.  
"All right, darling, I think again about this."  
My husband breathed a sigh of relief and went into the small bedroom of our quarters to take our daughter.

He was no longer in pain and his injuries he sustained on Algarian during my father's attack on him were almost healed. Dash only occasionally felt a slight sting or a traction when he made a wrong move. After everything was loaded, Dash and I went aboard the Outrider with the triplets and Leebo.  
The droid looked at me and he actually managed to look almost worried.  
"I'm scared to ask, Nomi, but will you deactivate me again?"  
A droid who's afraid? A strange idea. I couldn't help laughing.  
"No, Leebo, not this time. After all, it isn't a pleasure trip."  
Dash appeared and sat in the pilot's seat.  
"Well, unfortunately, Nomi's right. That's a pity. It would be an opportunity to see if I'm completely recovered. It's only a pleasure deferred! We can also do the test on Coruscant."  
"I know what you want to test, my love."  
I laughed and Dash blushed.  
Leebo looked first at me and then at my husband.  
"Sometimes I really don't understand human's behaviors."  
Then he walked into the rear of the Outrider.

Dash looked over at me.  
"Ready for takeoff, darling?"  
I strapped in and nodded.  
"Ready for takeoff."  
"Let's go then. Full power on the repulsors."  
The freighter rose slowly.  
"And now full thrust. Let's leave this nice planet."  
We ascended in Anoat's orbit and joined the rest of the fleet. After all the ships were in orbit, General Madine gave order to jump into hyperspace.

During the long journey in hyperspace we finally had the opportunity to extensively take care of our children. I practiced with our sons their Jedi exercises while Dash cradled Tasherit in his arms and hummed happily to himself.  
Since the last incident with the stone that Dash Jr. and Biggs wanted to direct with the Force toward Corran in order to hurt him, peace has returned. The triplets took to heart what I told them back then. Luke also had a serious word with them.  
Tasherit started screaming. My husband gave me the infant.  
Our daughter had already grown a lot and has also increased. I tenderly stroked her copper-red hair while I nursed her. She still sucked very eager, as if she was afraid to miss out.  
I looked very proud at my husband. When I met him the first time on Tatooine I never thought that he'll be such a good father.


	87. Coruscant

After several standard days in hyperspace we fell back into real space near Coruscant.  
In front of us laid the planet, which, as always, sparkled like a Corusca gem. As we approached Coruscant's orbit, we had to maneuver carefully. Around us, drifted the debris of the past battle for the heart of the Empire. We saw with horror how many must have payed for the liberation of Coruscant with their lives.  
On our port side, the burnt-out skeleton of an Imperial Star Destroyer appeared, while on the starboard side, the torn-off wings of an X-wing drifted through the vacuum of space.  
I searched anxiously for a marker to determine whether it was a part of Gavin's X-wing.  
Since the attack on Imperial Center, how the Imps had called Coruscant, I hadn't received any news from my brother.  
Dash looked at me from the side.  
"What's the matter, Nomi? You worry for your brother, right? You're afraid that he didn't survive the battle."  
I nodded.  
"Believe me, if he had been killed, we would have learned about it."  
In the chaos that followed the liberation, I wasn't so sure about this. They certainly had better things to do than notify relatives of those killed in action.  
"Chin up, Nomi. You would surely have felt with your Jedi senses if something had happened to him."  
I wasn't so sure, after all, my senses weren't as perfect trained as Luke's. Even though my old friend and master claimed otherwise. I was still very uncertain when it came to my abilities.  
Via com came a call.  
"Ground control for Outrider. We've you on our screens now. Stay on target. As you can see, some debris fly around here. Surely you don't want to collide with one of these chunks. You were assigned landing platform 237 Coruscant Spaceport."  
I answered.  
"Copy this, ground control. Staying on target. Outrider out."

When we landed, a surprise was waiting for us.  
"Gavin! Wedge!"  
I ran to my brother, who hugged me laughing. He veered me around and kissed me.  
"I'm so glad to see you again, sis."  
Then he put me back on my feet.  
"I was so scared for you, Gavin."  
My little brother smiled at me.  
"It's nice to hear that there is someone who worries about me, Nomi. But as you know, can nobody stop a Darklighter."  
Wedge had held back, apparently he didn't want to disturb our reunion.  
I went up to him and hugged him. I felt that he was reluctant to return my hug, but then he hugged me tightly.  
"I'm glad too to see you again, Nomi."  
My husband had come to us with the children. The triplets ran toward Wedge hugging his knees cheering. He bent down to them and tousled their brown curls.  
"Hello, you three. Nice to see you all again."  
He stand up again and our eyes met.  
"It's nice to have healthy, vibrant children around, after one sees everywhere on this planet only death and destruction."  
Dash shook Wedge's hand.  
"Is it so bad, Wedge?"  
Wedge shrugged.  
"Bad is an understatement, Dash. The Imps have provided us with a dying planet. They are probably sitting somewhere and die of laughter. We are on the verge of a revolt. The calls for a return of the Imps are getting louder."  
I looked at our friend, dumbfounded.  
"You're kidding, Wedge. Nobody who still has a little mind will want the Empire back."  
"I wish it was like that. Somehow the rumor has been spread that the Alliance has caused the Krytos plague. Many non-human residents of Coruscant say that the Empire has treated them badly, but at least didn't let die a wretched death. If doesn't happens something soon, we won't be able to hold Coruscant for the Alliance. But now come with me. After the long journey, you will be tired. I've got you quarters in the Imperial Palace. There you are safe for the time being."  
I shivered at the idea of living in the rooms where the dark presence of the Emperor would certainly be felt.

Wedge accompanied us on the way to the Imperial Palace.  
As I looked through the Speeder's windshield, I saw anti-Alliance slogans all over the walls.  
I didn't believe my eyes. Had they all forgotten how they had suffered under the Empire?  
I asked the question that had occupied me since our arrival.  
"Say, Wedge, is there anything new from Corran Horn?"  
I gave Wedge a start since he was lost in thought.  
"Yes, Nomi. We found his Z-95 headhunter in the rubble of a house. The fighter was completely burned out. Corran... didn't survive the crash."  
That just couldn't be true. No, not our friend Corran. Wedge kept talking.  
"His body wasn't found. But as the wreck looked like that's no wonder. But that's not all, Tycho is accused of treason and murder of Corran."  
Dash's triumphant gaze spoke volumes. He had suspected since being captured by the Imps on Coruscant that Tycho is the traitor in the ranks of Rogue Squadron.  
"I can't believe that Tycho Celchu's a traitor, Wedge."  
"Frankly, I don't either, Nomi. I have come to appreciate him as a good comrade and outstanding pilot, and I will do anything to prove his innocence."  
We adults spent the rest of the ride in silence because everyone dwelled on thoughts.  
The children, on the other hand, looked out the window and expressed their astonishment at the huge buildings and urban canyons of Coruscant.  
So far, they only had gotten to know the swamps of Dagobah, the forests of Anoat, and the deserts of Tatooine.  
It was an overwhelming experience for them and I couldn't only see their emotions, but also felt through the Force. Excited, they babbled to themselves and nudged each other if they had discovered something new. Tasherit wasn't disturbed by the excitement surrounding her. She had put her thumb in her mouth and slept blissfully in her father's arms.

After a standard hour's drive, we arrived at the Imperial Palace.  
Although I already knew it, I was impressed by its size again. For the first time I entered the huge building through the front entrance. When I was here last, I came through the sewers to free my husband from Iceheart's clutches.  
The sight of the interior was simply overwhelming. Such splendor I hadn't seen in my entire life. The walls were covered with the finest wood from distant planets. There were golden ornaments everywhere. There were exotic plants in every corner. In the largest corridor, to the right and to the left, stood rows of Ch'hala trees that seemed to explode in different shades of red with every touch. The triplets would have preferred to stop and to play with it.  
"Come, children, or we'll lose you in this maze of hallways."  
Reluctantly, they followed their father's call.

After a march that seemed like an eternity, we finally arrived at our intended quarters.  
Wedge opened the old-fashioned, heavy wooden doors.  
"Well here we are. I hope you enjoy this modest accommodation."  
Modest accommodation? It was a huge suite. I was sure that our little family would have plenty of space. Wedge went to the door.  
"If you need something, tell me. I have my quarters right next door."  
I ran after him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
"Thank you, Wedge."  
He blushed and looked at me sheepishly.  
"You're welcome, Nomi."  
Then he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Dash had begun to inspect the rooms.  
The entire furnishing must have cost the Emperor a fortune. Only the finest woods had been used for the furniture and thick handmade carpets covered the floor. My husband was already inspecting the bedroom while the triplets looked around in the room designated to them.  
"Nomi! Darling, come, you have to look at that!"  
I followed his call and stood stunned in the bedroom. I had never seen such splendor before.  
The floor was covered with a black carpet in which my feet sank ankle-deep, and the walls were covered with night-black shimmer silk embroidered with silver threads. It looked like a night sky.  
The whole large room was dominated by a huge bed. Above the bed was a black baldachin embroidered with silver stars. Dash came up to me and put his arm around my shoulders.  
"This is a surprise, isn't it, darling?"  
I just nodded.  
"The bed is so huge, Nomi, that I'll probably need a sensor pack to find you."  
I looked up at him and laughed.  
"Oh, I think if you want something from me, you'll find me in this bed without a sensor pack, Dash."  
I stood on tiptoe and kissed him.  
"We'll see tonight how good your sense of direction is, darling."  
He pulled me close and returned my kiss with abandon and whispered in my ear.  
"Why don't we test that right now, darling? The children are busy with Leebo in their own room and won't bother us. Is this a good idea?"  
Instead of answering, I went to the door and locked it.


	88. Imperial Palace

I woke up at night because I felt that something was wrong.  
Half asleep, I felt for the other side of the bed.  
"Dash?"  
There was no answer. I sat up and switched on the light with the Force. Dash's side of the bed was empty. I ran my hand over the mattress, which was still warm from his body. This was a sign that my husband couldn't be gone long before. Maybe he had just gone to the refresher.  
Because I didn't want to wake the children by shouting, I went to look. The refresher was empty. I wondered where Dash could be. I reached out with the Force and searched for my husband's presence. After a while, I felt his presence clear enough to find him. I quickly got dressed and went to my children to see if they were all right. The triplets and Tasherit were sleeping peacefully in their beds.

I carefully opened the door and grabbed my lightsaber, which was laying on the small table near the door. After I activated the saber, the glow of its blood-red blade lit my path.  
Slowly I walked down the corridor in the direction of the big hallway.  
The faint glow of the lightsaber blade cast eerie shadows on the walls. It was eerily quiet and I felt the aftermath of the late Emperor's evil presence. I had reached the big hallway with its Ch'hala trees. As I passed, I brushed one of them, causing an explosion of various shades of red on its bark.  
Then I felt Dash's presence very clearly. I was sure I would find him in the Emperor's throne room. I opened one side of the large double door and slipped inside.  
The throne room was shrouded in complete darkness except for the light of my lightsaber.  
I was almost overwhelmed by the dark emotions that still existed as shadows here in this hotbed of evil. Even after the Emperor's death, they were still very strong.  
I headed in the direction where I suspected the throne.  
"Dash?"  
It came no answer. Instead, I heard a soft sob. It came from a spot right in front of me. By now I was sure that it was Dash crying there. I could feel his presence clearly in front of me, despite it was overlaid by the dark shadow presence. I approached slowly so as not to scare my husband. The red light illuminated the steps leading up to the throne and a figure kneeling in front of it. It was Dash, my feeling hadn't deceived me.  
"Dash"  
He turned his tearful face to me and looked at me in disbelief.  
"Nomi? How did you find me?"  
I smiled and deactivated my lightsaber.  
"You forget that I'm a Jedi. What are you doing here?"  
He quickly wiped his tears, but there were always new. He couldn't stop crying. I knelt down on the ground and held him tight as he cumbersome groped for words. I gently stroked his hair.  
"It's ok, darling. You don't need to tell me anything. I now know what you're doing here. You mourn the loss of your grandfather, who was tortured and murdered here by order of the Emperor. I haven't forgotten what you told me about it at the time. Just cry, Dash. Before me, you need not be ashamed of your tears. I know it can only be a small consolation to you, but your grandfather Halcyon, when he died, became one with the Force. He didn't give in to the dark side of the Force to save his life. Ultimately, he triumphed over Palpatine in death."  
Slowly the tears of my husband dried up, he stood up and his voice was trembling when he spoke.  
"I never thought that I would ever be able to stand where my grandfather had to die many years ago, because a cruel tyrant wanted it. His only crime was to be a Jedi. It seemed impossible to me that the Empire would cease to exist, Nomi. That's why I laughed at you when you joined the Alliance. It all seemed so pointless to me. Forgive me, please, I have wronged you."  
I also stood up from the cold marble floor and hugged my husband lovingly.  
"There's nothing to forgive, Dash. Come, let's go back to our quarters. It's cold here and the walls are steeped in the shadows of the past. I don't feel comfortable because I can feel everywhere the presence of evil, that was embodied in the Emperor."

I activated my lightsaber again and in its faint blood red glow we went back to our quarters.  
When we got back there, I looked after our children, then I followed Dash into the bedroom. We went to bed and I huddled up against my husband and fell asleep soon.


	89. Imperial Palace

We received the information that the trial of Tycho Celchu should take place in a few days.  
I couldn't understand this haste. Apparently, they didn't want to make it look as if there were double standards for humans and non-humans.  
I still didn't believe he was a traitor and had murdered Corran Horn. Wedge was still feverishly searching for evidence of Celchu's innocence. Unfortunately, it didn't look good for Tycho. I was sure he would be convicted of treason and murder unless a miracle happened.  
And for these crimes, there was only one possibility of punishment even in the Alliance - death.

I couldn't discuss with Dash about this. When I started on it two days before the trial, he looked at me with a look that would have melted durasteel.  
"I don't know what you want, Nomi. He's guilty, that's for sure. Don't forget that I was Iceheart's prisoner because of him and what she did to me. He deserves death. When the firing squad is put together, I'm going to volunteer. He shall die for his betrayal and murder of Corran by my hand."  
I had never seen such hatred in my husband's eyes. I felt as if I had a stranger in front of me.  
"Dash, you scare me."  
"I scare you? You should be scared of traitors like Tycho, Nomi. As long as people like him live, you and our children will never be safe."  
I looked up and straight in his eyes.  
"There is no evidence of Tycho's guilt, Dash. Corran's body was never found. What if he's still alive and held captive? Wouldn't it be terrible if it turned out after the execution that Tycho was innocent? Think about it, Dash, you can't just condemn a man to death when everything rests purely on circumstantial evidence. If we do that, we're not much better than the Empire."  
My husband couldn't stand my gaze anymore and avoided it. I pointed to the seat next to me on the couch.  
"Come, Dash, sit down and think again. What evidence is there for Tycho's guilt?"  
Oh, it took a while for my husband to weigh all the points that spoke for and against Tycho's guilt.  
"Well?"  
My husband shook his head.  
"There's no evidence, Nomi. I'm not sure any longer that he betrayed me to the Imps. Only General Rieekan and Targeter knew about my mission. These two, however, are beyond any doubt. If Tycho isn't the traitor, it must be someone else."  
Dash looked at me horrified when he realized what that could mean.  
"That means that the traitor could still be in the ranks of Rogue Squadron and our comrades would be in grave danger. I need to talk to Wedge immediately."  
He jumped up and ran out of the room.

By the loud slamming of the door, the triplets were startled and came running into the living room. I felt their concern as they looked at me with their big brown eyes. Biggs put his little hand on my arm.  
"Why was Papa so angry, Mama?"  
Astonished, I looked at my son. He had spoken, albeit slurred, his first complete sentence.  
I ran my hand through his unruly curls.  
"You know, Biggs, sometimes your father can't deny that he has been hanging around smugglers and mercenaries for almost half his life. If you want to survive in such company, you have to be like that."  
Involuntarily, I had to smile as I remembered how he came in my life in Chalmun's cantina.  
He thought he had an easy job of it to intimidate me until a look into the muzzle of my blaster convinced him of the contrary. Oh yes, we were cast in the same mold. I knew how to defend myself vigorously. Anyone who had once tangled with me didn't try it for the second time. But this Corellian smuggler was unlike any men I met before him. Somehow he managed to impress me. When he kissed me shortly after, I fell in love with him.  
Lovingly I looked at our sons.  
"No, your father wasn't really angry, my little ones. He's just worried about us and our comrades from Rogue Squadron."  
Dash Jr. climbed onto my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck.  
"Papa mustn't worry about us, Mama. We are Jedi."  
Biggs and Corran took my hands.  
"We're Jedi, Mama."  
I cradled my children.  
"Yes, you're Jedi, but you've still much to learn before you can quite rightly call yourselves Jedi Knights."  
I wondered why my husband was almost never there when his children took another step in their progress.


	90. Imperial Palace

The last day of the trial against Tycho Celchu was there.  
My husband went to the court to be there when the verdict will be announced. He no longer had any doubt that Tycho would be convicted.  
During the process sequence, no one could say something in mitigation. I waited anxiously for Dash's return. Somehow, I felt that an innocent man would be sentenced to death.

When he finally came back, I looked at Dash expectantly. What would he tell me?  
"What was the verdict, Dash? Please put me out of my misery."  
"Didn't you hear it in the holonet news yet?"  
I shook my head.  
"Tycho had the best witness for the defense you can imagine, Nomi."  
I looked questioningly at my husband. He seemed to be talking to me in riddles.  
"Yes, Nomi. The victim himself testified for him."  
I still didn't understand what he meant.  
"Did they find Corran's corpse, Dash?"  
My husband laughed.  
"No, not Corran's corpse. The murdered himself has appeared in the courtroom. Yes, Corran Horn is alive, Nomi. He looked rather worse for wear, but otherwise he is healthy. Corran was Iceheart's prisoner on the Lusankya. However, he can't say exactly where this Imperial Super Star Destroyer is located.  
We now know who the traitor in the ranks of Rogue Squadron is."  
Did he always have to do it so suspenseful?  
"It's Erisi Dlarit from Thyferra Bacta Syndicate. She works with Ysanne Isard. After Corran's escape from the Lusankya, Isard started the Destroyer. According to Corran, there are many Alliance members on the ship whom we believed that they were killed in action. The remnants of Rogue Squadron want to hunt down Isard and Dlarit. You know that they suffered heavy casualties in the battle for Coruscant. However, they want to do this mission unofficially. It isn't an Alliance mission."  
I shook my head.  
"The Rogues want to fight an opponent who is a hundred times superior to them?"  
Dash nudged me in the side.  
"Hey, Nomi, did you do something different in your best time? Rogue Squadron is known for never giving up, even if the odds are 100:1."  
My husband laughed.  
"Everything will be alright, darling."  
I was nevertheless afraid for my little brother. He had often been very daring in battle and often owed it only to me that he didn't have to pay his bravado with his life. I tried to suppress the fear and smiled at my husband.  
"Yes, I hope the Force will be with them."  
He gave me a kiss.  
"It will, Nomi, I'm sure. How are the children?"  
"Ask them yourself, my love. They're in their room."  
When my husband disappeared in the children's room, I heard loud cursing.  
Great, and that in front of the children.  
"Sithspawn! Do you always have to leave everything lying around? I just stepped into your cookie jar. Damn, Nomi! Can't you teach your children a little more tidiness?"  
He seemed to have forgotten that they're also his children. I smiled broadly.


	91. Coruscant

Rogue Squadron had left for their mission some time ago and we had no news yet about the mission's success or failure. The non-human population of Coruscant was still carried off by the Krytos plague.

I couldn't stand to sit idly in the Imperial Palace all day long.  
I hadn't entered the throne room since the night Dash had mourned for his grandfather. Already when I came near it, I became uncomfortable. The shadows of the Emperor's dark presence were too strong at this place.

My husband came back from a tour of the city.  
"What's the situation, Dash?"  
He shook his head.  
"The situation is bad, Nomi. The non-humans die by the thousands. If we don't get Bacta soon to treat them... I don't know what's going to happen."  
During his absence, I had made a decision.  
"Dash, I want to go out into the city. Maybe I can help."  
My husband looked at me with an expression of consternation.  
"No, Nomi, this is far too dangerous."  
"Why should it be dangerous? The Krytos virus afflicts only non-humans. I can't get infected."  
"You've no idea what's going on out there, sweetheart. The mood can change at any moment and it will be dangerous for any Alliance member. I don't want you to get caught between the fronts."  
"Please, Dash, let me go. I feel that I'm needed out there."  
He looked at me skeptically.  
"Don't say that this is one of your crazy Jedi ideas."  
I nodded.  
"Yes, Dash, it's one of my crazy Jedi ideas. As a Jedi, I take responsibility for others. I can't shirk responsibility."  
Dash shrugged.  
"All right then. Go, if you have to."  
I stood up and went to change my clothes. When I came out of the bedroom, I attached the lightsaber to my belt.  
"Don't you want to take a blaster?"  
"No, Dash. A Jedi only needs the lightsaber as a weapon. Don't be so afraid for me. Nothing will happen to me. The Force is with me, have you forgotten that?"  
"No"  
He pulled me close and gave me a kiss.  
"Can I accompany you?"  
I shook my head.  
"I have to go alone. Me as a Jedi they will trust. They would distrust me when an officer of the Alliance accompanies me. Take care of our children until I get back."  
My husband tenderly stroked my cheek.  
"Come back soon, Nomi. I would really prefer if I would accompany you."

The misery in the streets of Coruscant was unimaginable. Many houses were vacant, in which the Krytos plague had killed the inhabitants. Slowly I came to the realization that I couldn't help with my weak Jedi abilities. Only a fully trained Jedi healer would have been able to. Suddenly I sensed danger.  
Carefully I looked around. Even though they tried to hide it, I was pursued by a dozen men in hooded black cloaks. I went into a side street and found myself in a dead end. There was no way out when my pursuers approached. I was fallen in a trap.  
"Go on, grab the woman. Be careful since she carries a lightsaber. Set your blasters to stun mode. Lord Bel-Baal wants her alive."  
I thought I had misheard. Lord Bel-Baal? It couldn't be. My father was dead. I myself had seen him die. I didn't have much time to think about it. I activated my lightsaber and went into a fighting stance. At the same time, I reached out with the Force to sense the intentions of my opponents.  
The first was getting ready to fire at me. I sensed that he was trying to hit me on the left side.  
Without hesitating, I raised my saber to ward off the shot. Not a moment too soon. The next one tried it a fraction of a second later on my right side. Without success.  
The shots followed at ever shorter intervals, and the men moved closer. Slowly I had trouble to respond to them. I began to regret that in the past few weeks I hadn't trained as often as Luke had recommended. Now I should apparently get my comeuppance. I kept backing away until I literally stood with my back to the wall.  
"C'mon, let's put an end to it. Fire on her at the same time. We'll see if she still can ward off the shots."  
I couldn't do it. The last thing I perceived before I lost consciousness was the leader's boot tips as he kicked my ribs.  
"She'll be all right, Lord Bel-Baal will be satisfied."  
Then deep darkness enveloped me.

When I came to, I felt blood on my lips and with every movement the ribs ached. Carefully I palpated them. Nothing seemed to be broken. I tried to sit up, but there was a piercing pain. My right leg hurt terribly. I looked at my leg and froze. The leg was strangely twisted. It was broken. With an effort I pushed myself up and looked around. What I saw was only too familiar. I was in an Imperial prison cell. Judging by the vibrations it was in a ship.  
I wondered where they would take me. Or was I already at the destination? I reached out with the Force. Seeking I let my Jedi senses roam the ship. I felt thousands of minds. I realized that I was on a Star Destroyer. There was no doubt.  
Suddenly, I felt an icy cold and a disturbance in the Force. My father?  
Could it really be that he had survived? But Luke had also felt that my father had died.  
I had to ascertain, if was really him and continued to feel after the dark presence. But suddenly I could not feel it anymore. Maybe I had just fancied everything.  
Carefully, I touched my face. I didn't dare to imagine what I looked like, because it felt awful.  
The leader of the group that had caught me hadn't only attended to my ribs. Also my bloody lips testified that they had mistreated me. I didn't dare to imagine what they might have done to me while I was unconscious. I laboriously limped to the refresher and washed the blood from my face. The throbbing pain in my leg was unbearable.  
I resorted to a Jedi relaxation technique, as Luke had taught me to relieve the pain. Finally, the pain subsided somewhat. I had to keep a clear head and not let my physical discomfort distract me. When I finished, I hobbled back to the cot and lay down again.

Despite the pain, I must have fallen asleep because I woke up by the hissing sound of the cell door that opened. In front of me stood the leader of the men who had kidnapped me. He now wore a stormtrooper armor, but he held the helmet casual in his hand.  
I clenched my teeth as I sat up, otherwise I would have screamed in pain.  
"C'mon, rebel scum, get up and come along. Lord Bel-Baal wants to see you."  
When I didn't follow his orders, he came up to me and slapped me.  
"C'mon! The Lord doesn't like to wait!"  
I had turned my face away because I felt tears come to my eyes. I didn't want to grant my tormentor this triumph. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. With a malicious twinkle in his eyes, he hissed at me.  
"I hope Lord Bel-Baal will leave you to me when he's done with you. It has been a long time since I was with a woman. Ah, I see, you understood what I mean. Believe me, we'll both have a lot of fun together. But now get up! The sooner we are with my superior, the sooner I'll have my pleasure with you."  
He grabbed me with a firm grip and pulled me up. I almost fell when the broken leg gave way under my weight. The stormtrooper grabbed me and pushed me forward.  
"Move!"  
I hobbled laboriously by his side as he pulled me with him. He had no regard my injured leg. The stormtrooper knew very well that it was broken.

After a march that seemed endless, we finally arrived on the bridge. I was almost overwhelmed when I felt the dark emotions. In vain I tried to shield myself against it.  
In front of the bridge viewport stood a tall figure, who turned its back on me. Slowly, the figure turned to me and fold back the hood that had covered its face.  
"Welcome on the Ulic's Revenge, my daughter."  
The stormtrooper, who was still standing next to me, turned pale and began to stammer.  
"L... Lord B... B... Bel-B... Baals d... d...aughter."  
He fell to his knees in front of my father.  
"Mercy, my lord. I didn't know that this rebel is your daughter."  
My father looked at me.  
"What about your leg, daughter? And the wounds in your face, it was him? Yes, it was him. You don't need to tell me anything."  
He clenched his right hand into a fist and I could feel my father drawing on the Force. Somehow it felt different. Then I realized that he was going to use the dark side.  
"No, father!"  
The stormtrooper suddenly grabbed his throat and wheezed. My father tightened his grip and continued to Force choke the stormtrooper.  
"You have disregarded my orders. She shouldn't be harmed. You will die for what you have done. I don't tolerate my orders not to be executed."  
Desperately, the stormtrooper tried to resist the iron grip. He had fallen to the ground, his hands clawed on his throat to get rid of the invisible hands choking him.  
My father turned his fist slightly and then I heard a crack. His victim fell forward and went limp. Bel-Baal had broken the stormtrooper's nape of the neck.  
He beckoned two other stormtroopers standing beside him.  
"Take this away! This will happen to anyone who disregards my orders. And call the medi droid."

My father went to a console on which my lightsaber laid. He picked it up and came towards me.  
"At last we meet again, my daughter."  
As he turned the weapon in his hands and looked at it from all sides, he continued talking.  
"You're wondering how I survived the severe wound I owed to you."  
He laughed.  
"Didn't tell you your so-called Jedi Master you should never underestimate the dark side? When you left me on Algarian I was closer to death than to life. I will tell you how I survived. I absorbed the life energy of the stormtroopers, who were stationed there, in my dying body. They died so I could live on. There was once a Dark Lord of the Sith, Exar Kun, who used the same method being on the fourth moon of the planet Yavin to ensure his survival. Oh yes, the Massassi served him well."  
Horrified, I looked at my father.  
"You're a monster!"  
He laughed.  
"Don't look at me this way, daughter. They are here to serve me."  
He activated my lightsaber and wielded it.  
"You built the weapon by yourself. Your skills are remarkable. Nevertheless, you still have much to learn. I'm looking forward to complete your training. With me you're going to learn things that are beyond your imagination, my child. But first your injuries have to heal."  
I looked him straight in the eye.  
"Who tells you that you can turn me to the dark side? I have resisted you once and I will resist you again, father. I already told you then that I would rather die than give in to the dark side."  
My father deactivated my lightsaber and laughed again.  
"We will see, my daughter."  
By now the medi droid had arrived. It was the usual 2-1B unit.  
"Sit down in the chair, Lady Bel-Baal, so I can examine you."  
"Damn, my name isn't Lady Bel-Baal! It's Major Darklighter for you! And now begin!"  
My father looked at me irritated and angry at the same time.  
"As long as you are on my ship, you will answer to the name of Lady Bel-Baal. Everyone should know that you are my biological daughter."  
I didn't want to upset him and nodded.  
"As you wish, father."  
2-1B splinted the fracture. After this I got painkillers.  
My father beckoned to the stormtroopers, who had come back in the meantime.  
"Bring Lady Bel-Baal back to her cell."

Then I sat in the cell again and thought about my situation. I was sure that Dash would already be looking for me in the streets of Coruscant.


	92. Ulic's Revenge

I was awakened by a throbbing pain in my broken leg. The effect of the painkiller had apparently subsided. Carefully I sat up and hobbled, after I stood up, to the refresher.  
I wondered why my injuries weren't treated with Bacta. Maybe they didn't have enough.  
Since the outbreak of the Krytos plague on Coruscant, Bacta had become scarce and expensive.  
I mitigated my pain with the help of a Jedi relaxation technique, but as soon as I was no longer focused on the pain control with the Force, the pain was immediately there again.  
That was bad, because I knew that I wouldn't have my entire Force potential available should it come to a fight with my father. Suddenly the realization hit me like a blaster shot.  
It was intentional. My injuries shouldn't heal quickly, otherwise I could use my Jedi skills without limit. I wondered if my father was afraid to be no match for me in a fight.  
Then I had an idea. If I was able to heal Dash when he was hurt by my father with Force lightning, why shouldn't I be able to heal myself?  
I limped back to my cot and sat down. Carefully, I ran my hands over my injured leg and focused the Force on the broken bone. I felt the two parts of the bone grew together slowly.  
However, it would take a while for the fracture to heal completely. But I knew that the time of healing would be much shorter than expected by my father.

After that I thought about how Dash could find out where and by whom I was being held captive. Maybe through our triplets. They had often proved that they responded to my calls in the Force. But never at such a great distance. I just had to try and trust it would work.  
I reached out with the Force until I touched my sons' minds.  
'Dash, Biggs, Corran. Can you hear me?'  
I smiled as I felt my youngest son touch my mind and answered me in the Force.  
'Mama?'  
My smile faded and gave way to desperation as the connection broke off and I heard instead my father's voice in my head.  
'You call in vain, my daughter. I will not let them find you. I'll finish your training and make you into a powerful Dark Jedi. It is useless to hope for escape. Even if your husband finds us, he won't be able to save you. If he opposes me and my plans with you, he will die. Even you won't be able to save him this time. There are 8,000 Stormtrooper aboard this Star Destroyer, my child. What can a single man do against such superior numbers if he isn't a Jedi?'  
He was right. The odds that Dash would succeed with a rescue attempt were bad. But as a Corellian, Dash wouldn't care about the odds.  
The next attempt I would get in touch with Luke. He as a Jedi Master would certainly capable, even if our connection should be short, to determine my whereabouts.  
My father wouldn't make me an instrument of evil.

I must have fallen asleep because I was awakened by the pain in my leg.  
With great difficulty I pushed myself up and limped slowly to the refresher. I looked in the mirror and ran my fingers over the wounds on my face. They healed and the way it looked, no scars would remain.  
Suddenly I felt an icy tinge. I turned around and saw my father standing in my cell.  
"Don't worry, my daughter, your face won't be disfigured forever."  
"I hope so, father. I don't want my children to run away screaming when seeing me. And my husband..."  
My father interrupted me.  
"You will never see your husband again! He is not worthy of you! The daughter of Lord Bel-Baal deserves a better man than this weakling!"  
Angrily, he glared at me with his green eyes.  
"Dash isn't a weakling, father. I love him and I have four wonderful children with him. Nothing and no one can separate me from him."  
My father smiled at me, but there was no warmth in that smile.  
"We'll see, my daughter."  
He pointed to my broken leg.  
"You treat it with the Force. That's smart of you. However, it would heal faster if you could bring yourself to use the dark side of the Force. Come, give it a try. You'll see how easy everything is."  
He reached out for me, but I backed away from him.  
"No, father, you don't turn me to the dark side. If it's this powerful, why didn't Lord Vader heal his burned body with its help?"  
With this question, I seemed to have touched a point that my father didn't like.  
"Lord Vader, my mentor, couldn't heal himself because he was not completely devoted to the dark side. This weakness was later his undoing."  
I shook my head.  
"No, father, not his undoing, but his way back to the light. When he died, he finally renounced the dark side and became one with the Force. The love for his son was stronger than the dark side and the Emperor, father. You too can leave the dark path you walked so long. It isn't too late yet. Anakin Skywalker has shown that it's possible."  
My father looked at me with a strange expression. It almost seemed to me that he would think about my words. Carefully, I began to probe his mind. What was that? There was a bright spot in the deep blackness of his mind. Hard to see, but undoubtedly there. I kept probing and was suddenly blocked and pushed back.  
My father stood quivering with rage before me and yelled at me.  
"Do not try that again, daughter!"  
He turned abruptly and left my cell.

I limped to my cot and laid down again. The bright spot I had found preyed on my mind.  
I wondered if there was anything good left in my father and if there was still a chance to save him. What irritated me was that this bright spot wasn't there when we first met. At that time I felt only darkness inside my father. Should our meeting have initiated a change in my father?  
If I wanted to save my father from the dark side, I had to stay with him. I didn't know, what I should do.  
'Mama!'  
Suddenly it seemed to me as if my sons were calling for me. Again this call.  
'Mama!'  
So I hadn't deluded myself. I wondered if I could dare to respond. I reached out with the Force and touched Corran's mind.  
'Corran, listen to me. I'm being held captive on the Star Destroyer Ulic's Revenge. Tell your father that Lord Bel-Baal wants to take me to his fortress on Algarian. If he ever wants to see me again, he must prevent that. Luke and your father will know what to do. Did you understand all that, Corran?'  
It was amazing, I could talk with my child without my father prevented it. Was he so sure of me that he had lessen his watchfulness? There came Corran's answer.  
'Yes, Mama.'  
I reached out again with the Force and touched the mind of my little daughter. The baby cried.  
'Don't cry, sweetie. Your mama will be back soon.'  
I hoped that I wasn't too optimistic. Then I felt for my husband's mind. It was clear to me that I couldn't communicate to him through the Force, but I would be able to read his mind and feel his emotions. Carefully, I felt myself in his mind. I almost cried out.  
Dash's mind was filled with grief, pain, despair and suicidal thoughts. He thought I was dead because they had found bloody clothes from which he thought that they belonged to me. Without me he no longer wanted to live. Should they lose their father, too?  
He was hesitating, but he seemed to be holding the blaster already in his hand.  
Suddenly I felt a new emotion besides despair - love.  
Infinite love for his youngest son. Corran had really understood my message. In my husband's mind I felt first disbelief and then hope. There were no more suicidal thoughts.  
Oh no, quite the contrary. He would find and free me, even if he had to search the entire galaxy for Ulic's Revenge.

Before I retreated from his mind, I touched it again gently. Maybe he could feel some of that contact, despite he wasn't Force sensitive.  
"You have done very well, my daughter."  
I became frightened when my father spoke to me. Why hadn't I noticed that he had entered my cell?  
"You lured your husband and Luke Skywalker into a trap from which there will be no escape for them. They will both die. If Skywalker is dead, the Empire will rise again with me as its Emperor. You will sit by my side and one day succeed me. Together we will destroy the Rebellion and restore order in the galaxy. I have everything planned, my child. I deliberately allowed you to contact your children to lure Skywalker here. Your husband is actually for me irrelevant, but he also deserves to die because he has dared to enter into the bond of marriage with you. Luckily, at least he was able to father Force sensitive offspring."  
I looked at him angrily.  
"Yes, that's good, my daughter, give free rein to your rage. Here, take your weapon and attack me. With your anger and hatred you can defeat me."  
Inviting he held out my lightsaber.  
"No, father, I won't fight with you."  
"Why not? I can feel how much you hate me."  
I shook my head.  
"No, father, I don't hate you. I only pity you."  
He looked at me without understanding.  
"Yes, I pity you because you were so weak to let yourself be seduced by Vader to the dark side. You've lost everything that ever meant anything to you. And you will lose me too. You must be aware, I'll never belong to the dark side. You'll have to kill me, because I and my children would always be a threat to your claim to power."  
I tried to manipulate him with a Jedi mind trick.  
'You don't want to kill me and you'll let me go now, father. Give your people the order to provide me with a shuttle.'  
He only laughed.  
"Have you still not understood that you can't achieve anything with these tricks? I'm not so weak-minded as you think, daughter. No, I won't let you go. One day I will turn you and then you will be a servant of the dark side. But first, Skywalker and your husband have to die."  
Then he left me alone again.

I sat down on my cot and treated my leg with the Force.  
It looked better, but it would take at least another standard day before I could put weight onto it again.  
Slowly I came to the realization that my father would never let me go. I had to get away before Luke and Dash would walk into the trap.


	93. Ulic's Revenge

During the night I had thought about an escape plan, and I hoped it would work.  
I couldn't influence my father with a Jedi mind trick, but with stormtroopers it would work.

Carefully, I stood up and put weight onto my injured leg. I gritted my teeth as I perceived a stinging pain. When I found that the leg was hurting but carrying my weight, I smiled. Yes, it could work that way.  
In front of my cell two stormtroopers had been posted by my father, on whose minds I focused. On Algarian I had already manipulated several minds at one time. So why shouldn't work this at these two?  
'You are tired from being on sentry duty and want to rest a little. Come into the cell, there you can lay down.'  
The cell door opened with a hiss. I could have been dancing for joy. It worked. But I couldn't let myself be distracted by my joy, or I would lose the stormtroopers.  
'Yes, you're terribly tired and want only one thing - sleep.'  
Both troopers approached my cot and then they actually lay down side by side.  
I slipped out and locked the cell door behind me. I hoped that no one would notice my disappearance. And if it did, then not this fast. Slowly I moved towards my destination, the Star Destroyer's main hangar.

I succeeded in influencing the minds of the crew members, who met me, so that they didn't notice me. My leg ached violently, but it wasn't the time to take care about it.  
Then I had finally reached the main hangar. Freedom was within my reach when I felt danger.  
I turned and faced my father, who was standing with activated lightsaber in front of me.  
"You can't escape me so easily, my daughter. You will have to fight for your freedom. If you can defeat me in combat, then I will let you go."  
Amazed, I looked at him as he tossed me my lightsaber.  
"You could have killed me, father. Why didn't you do it?"  
"I am a warrior, not a cowardly murderer, Nomi."  
For the first time my father had addressed me by my name. I wondered what that meant.  
"Come on, Nomi, show me what you have learned from your so-called Jedi Master."  
He attacked me, but I parried it and counter-attacked. With ease my father jumped over me and landed behind me.  
As fast as lightning, I turned around and warded off the blow.  
"You have learned a lot, Nomi."  
I didn't reply and continued to fight for my freedom, and thus for Luke's life and that of my husband. With quick successive blows, I had cornered my father. I had managed to get the edge on him.  
"Let me go, father."  
He shook his head and attacked me again. The pain in my leg became more and more intense, but I couldn't and wouldn't give up. The air around us crackled from the electrical discharges when our blades clashed.  
I wondered why my father didn't use the dark side to defeat me, as he had done on Algarian.  
We stood now so close that no one could strike a blow against the other. My father was breathing heavily.  
"Surrender and let me go."  
"Never"  
He kicked me, my injured leg gave way under me and I fell.  
"Stand up, Nomi and fight. You're not going to give up that fast."  
I struggled to get to my feet. My broken leg hurt even more now, but I clenched my teeth and attacked my father with a huge blow. Effortlessly he warded off the blow and counter-attacked.  
Slowly my strength subsided. My father was merciless. My defense was getting slower and to attack was almost unthinkable. My father's blows came in quick succession.  
Then came an announcement over the intercom.  
"Lord Bel-Baal, Corellian freighter approaching. It's identified as the Outrider. What are your orders?"

My father was distracted for a moment, and that brief moment was suffice for me. I kicked him. He stumbled and fell. His lightsaber flew in a wide arc and deactivated immediately.  
I stood over him, holding the tip of my blade to his throat.  
"You will see to it that the Outrider can land here in the main hangar. And you will grant me, my husband and Luke free withdrawal."  
I had felt Luke's presence aboard the Outrider.  
My father looked at me.  
"You defeated me, Nomi. My life is in your hands. I will release you and you can go wherever you want with your husband and Skywalker."  
I felt that my father didn't want to fight me anymore. He was defeated once and for all.  
I deactivated my lightsaber and helped him stand up. After he stood up, my father went to the main hangar's comm unit.  
"Grant the Outrider landing permission, Commander Xale. My son-in-law wants to pick up his wife."  
The commander seemed slightly irritated as he confirmed the order.  
"Grant landing permission. As you wish, Lord Bel-Baal."  
My father stood across from me, looking at me with a smile.  
"Your lightsaber skills are very good, Nomi. Skywalker taught you very well. I have been thinking about your words for a long time. Maybe it's not too late for me yet. Please help me to turn from the dark side, my child."

I left the main hangar together with my father when the Outrider approached. When the YT-2400 landed, the access ramp lowered and Dash came out of the freighter with drawn blaster. Behind him I could see Luke, who glanced around.  
My father wanted to approach them, but I stopped him.  
"Please wait. Let me first talk to Dash, he is out of sorts with you for understandable reasons."  
Slowly I entered the main hangar and limped towards my husband. I read horror on his face as he looked at me. Then Luke whispered something to him and he put his blaster in the holster and ran towards me. He gently touched the wounds in my face.  
"What have they done to you, darling? When they brought me bloodstained clothing, I thought it was yours and you were dead. I became almost mad with grief and wanted to shoot myself because I thought I had lost you. I already had the blaster in my hand, but lacked the courage to pull the trigger. Then Corran suddenly stood before me and told me that he had spoken with you. At first I didn't want to believe him, but then I remembered that you both had often talked in the Force with each other. When the little one told me that you're being held captive by your father, I didn't believe my ears. I thought your father is dead. Well, if he isn't dead now, then he'll be soon, because I'll kill him."  
I shook my head.  
"No, Dash, you won't kill anyone. My father turned away from the dark side. I've forgiven him and I want you to do it too."  
Dash looked at me with a gaze that would have melted durasteel.  
"Damn, Nomi, do you know what you ask me for? Your father almost killed me on Algarian. And there shall I forgive him? Do you know how many people Lord Ulic Bel-Baal has killed? For how many tears and misery is he responsible? Remember the Chandrila massacre, Nomi. No, darling, I can't forgive your father. But I promise, I won't kill him on the spot. He should get a fair trial. I will bend to the decision of the judges."  
I carefully stood on tiptoe without putting weight onto my right leg and gave my husband a kiss.  
"Thank you, Dash."  
Then I beckoned my father, who approached us slowly. He looked into my husband's eyes and held out his hand.  
"I want to ask your forgiveness for what I did to you and your family, Dash."  
But Dash was unforgiving.  
"You can be glad I promised Nomi not to kill you."  
Then he turned and walked onboard the Outrider.  
Luke approached my father.  
"We'll take you to Coruscant, Lord Bel-Baal. There, the judges will decide your fate."  
My father lowered his head.  
"They will condemn me to death, Skywalker. I have committed too many crimes. They can let me live."  
Luke shook his head.  
"This isn't sure, Lord Bel-Baal. I'll see what I can do for you. What should happen to your people and your ship?"  
My father shrugged.  
"I think most will be glad not to have to fight for a long lost cause anymore. They will want to join the Alliance. As for the Star Destroyer, my daughter Nomi will get it."  
He looked at me.  
"You will know what to do with it if you do not want to keep it."  
I looked at him in surprise.  
"Thank you, father. But it shouldn't be named Ulic's Revenge anymore, I'll name it Jedi Hope."

The crew almost completely joined the Alliance. Those who had opted against the Alliance, were taken to the nearest inhabited planet and deposed there.  
Then we jumped into hyperspace and flew with the Outrider as escort to Coruscant.


	94. Jedi Hope

Along with Luke I had stayed with my father on the Jedi Hope during the flight to Coruscant.  
Me and my father had long and very intensive discussions with each other.  
My father told me how it came that he was seduced by Vader to the dark side. Even if I had wanted to, I couldn't condemn him for his weakness. When my father had taken the first step on the dark path, he was unable to come back. Deeper and deeper, this path led him into the depths of the dark side.  
At the beginning, there was still regret about his lost love and the child, who would never know its father. But then there was only hunger for power, wealth, glory and influence.  
He was ready to give everything, including his soul.  
When he felt that I had discovered my Jedi powers and grew in the Force through the training with Luke, he saw his chance. Together with me, after the death of the Emperor and Vader, he wanted to fulfill his dream of all-embracing power. He wanted to sit as the new Emperor on the throne. But after almost dying because of the wound he sustained on Algarian during our lightsaber duel he has undergone a slow but steady change.  
Suddenly he was plagued by doubts and there was something else that irritated him, a feeling that he hadn't felt in a long time - love.  
Love for me, his daughter, who had become very strong in the Force. He wanted to hate me for almost killing him, but somehow he could not. My kidnapping from Coruscant was a last-ditch attempt to make his ambitious plans come true.  
He really didn't want that somebody hurt me. When he saw what the stormtrooper had done to me, his anger knew no limits. It was the last time he used the dark side.  
All that followed was his attempt to see if I'm strong enough to save him from the dark side.

When my father had finished his story, he looked at me and smiled.  
"I'm very proud of you, Nomi. Forgive me for what I said about your husband back then. You two have four gorgeous children. I wish I could see them grow up."  
I put my hand on his arm.  
"You'll see them grow up, father."  
But he shook his head.  
"No, my child. I foresaw that they will sentence me to death for my crimes."  
"You can't know that, father. Luke told me that no one can see the future clearly, because it's always in motion. We'll find a way out. From a certain point of view you weren't responsible for your deeds. Luke will do everything to prevent a death sentence. Trust him, father."  
He nodded.  
"Yes, I trust Skywalker."

Then we dropped back in real space and approached the orbit of Coruscant. A shuttle came to meet us and landed in the main hangar of the Jedi Hope.  
On board were several members of the Alliance Security Service, who took my father in their midst and wanted to shackle him. I intervened.  
"Please don't do that to my father. It would also be pointless because he could free himself from these shackles at any time."  
Commander Felgon, an Alderaanian I knew from my time with the commando unit, nodded.  
"All right, Major Darklighter, we won't shackle your father if you guarantee that he will make no attempt to escape."  
"Yes, I vouch for him, Commander Felgon, as an Alliance officer and Jedi. Is this enough?"  
Instead of answering, he turned and gave his men the order.  
"Bring the prisoner on board the shuttle. It isn't necessary to shackle him. Major Darklighter vouches for him."

The shuttle landed together with the Outrider on the landing platform of the Imperial Palace.  
My father should be taken to the detention block immediately. He hugged me goodbye and looked at me pleadingly.  
"Please make sure that your mother never learns that I'm still alive, Nomi. Promise me."  
He lovingly stroked my hair as I leaned against him, crying.  
"You don't have to cry for me. It would be easier for me if I knew that the peace your mother found with my friend Jula isn't disturbed."  
At last I had caught myself so far that I could speak.  
"I promise. Mother won't learn that you're still alive, father."  
Then he was taken away.

Dash came to me and put his arm around my shoulders.  
"Stop crying, darling. He didn't deserve your tears."  
I disengaged from him and wanted to run away. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my broken leg and fell.  
"Nomi!"  
My husband knelt beside me.  
"I didn't want that, darling. I didn't want to hurt you with my words."  
"But you did, Dash. He's despite everything my father."  
Gently my husband picked me up and carried me in his arms to our quarters. There he sat me down on the couch and went to our bedroom. He came back with Tasherit, who he put in my arms.  
"I think our daughter is hungry, sweetheart."  
I gave the baby the breast at which it began to suck greedily.  
At that moment, our sons came rushing in.  
How much I had missed my children. They huddled against me and I stroked them with my free hand through the unruly brown curls. Biggs looked at me questioningly.  
"Why is grandfather not with us, Mama? We feel he's here."  
Warningly, I looked at my husband, who looked as if he wanted to tell brutally honest our sons the truth. I didn't want our sons to learn that their grandfather was likely to be sentenced to death and executed.  
"Your grandfather can't be with us because he was arrested. He's in the detention block."  
With big eyes our sons looked at me. In unison came the question that I had secretly feared.  
"Why, Mama?"  
I took a deep breath.  
"He has done wrong and is waiting for his trial."  
Fortunately, the triplets were content with this answer for the time being and went back to their room.  
Dash sat down beside me and gently stroked his daughter's head. Then he leaned toward me and gave me a tender kiss.  
"I'm so glad I have you back, Nomi. Forgive me what I said earlier. It's hard for me to forgive your father for what he did to us."  
Tasherit was full and Dash stretched his hands out to her.  
"Come, Nomi, give me our little princess."  
He put Tasherit to bed after she burped. Then he sat down again next to me and put his arm around me.  
"We will get through this together."  
I leaned against him, hoping that I really could prevent that my mother would learn that my father was still alive.


	95. Imperial Palace

A standard week had passed in which nothing significant had happened.  
But then the events started happening very fast.  
Rogue Squadron actually succeeded to corner Ysanne Isard and Erisi Dlarit and to defeat them. Both were killed.  
The Lusankya fell into the hands of the Alliance and the prisoners on it were released.  
As a result that we had free access to Bacta again, the Krytos plague was finally subsiding. There were no new infections.  
The foundation of the New Republic nothing stood in the way now. It seemed like we had finally attained the goal of our years of struggle.  
But the best part for me was that my father would be free.  
On the occasion of the foundation of the New Republic an amnesty had been issued.

With my children, I went to the detention block to pick up my father.  
I hadn't been allowed to see him the whole time. My attempts to contact him through the Force were blocked by him. I couldn't imagine why he had done that.  
Dash stubbornly refused to come along. He still couldn't forgive my father.  
"No, Nomi, you can't ask me to do that. I'm sorry, but I just can't forgive and forget and just pretend as if nothing had happened. He almost killed me, Nomi."  
I hoped that one day he would be able to reconcile with my father. At least my husband had allowed me to take along the children.  
When I entered the detention block, a lieutenant came to meet me and took me aside.  
"Major Darklighter? Just a moment please."  
I felt that he was about to tell me bad news.  
"Yes?"  
He looked at me sympathetically.  
"I'm sorry, Major Darklighter, your father is dying. We can do nothing for him. He seems to have no will to live anymore."  
Tears came to my eyes.  
"Take me to him, Lieutenant."  
Slowly I followed him through the dimly lit corridors to my father's cell. I had left the triplets in the guardroom, only taking Tasherit with me. The Lieutenant pushed a switch and the cell door hissed open.  
The room had the usual features of an Imperial prison cell. Hesitantly, I entered it because the memories of my own stays in those cells overwhelmed me. On the cot I could see a figure.  
The lieutenant spoke to my father.  
"Lord Bel-Baal. Your daughter is here."  
There was no visible reaction to his words, but I felt a slight tremble in the Force. I went with the baby in my arms to my father and sat down next to him. Then I turned to my companion.  
"Please leave us alone, Lieutenant."  
Without objection he left the cell.  
I took my father's hand. He opened his eyes and looked at me. In his eyes all sparkle was defunct. He spoke to me in the Force. Apparently he didn't want anyone to eavesdrop on us.  
'That I can see you once again, Nomi.'  
I couldn't hold back my tears.  
'No, don't cry, my child. You have always been so strong, my darling. In that respect you are very similar to your mother. Silya... What would I give if I could undo everything. I loved your mother very much, Nomi. But my love was not strong enough to stand against the influence of the dark side.'  
My father raised his hand and stroked Tasherit tenderly through the copper-red hair.  
'You must have looked just like your daughter at that age. Now I will not see your children growing up.'  
He sighed.  
'You must not die, father. We need you.'  
He shook his head.  
'No, Nomi, you don't need me. And your husband? You know he hates me, even if he tries to hide it from you. From a certain point of view, I can understand him. Believe me, it is better that I leave this world, my child. I hope that I will find peace.'  
The last words were barely audible.  
He was silent for a moment, as if trying to gather strength.  
'Nomi'  
I had to concentrate very much. The presence of my father in the Force seemed to wane.  
'Yes, father?'  
'You have brought light into the darkness of my heart. Never succumb to the temptations of the dark side, my child. Promise me.'  
I could only nod.  
'You weren't wrong about me, Nomi.'  
He sighed deeply once again and then there was silence, interrupted only by my sobbing.  
My father was dead.  
I still held his hand. But then my father's body disappeared. Only his clothes remained on the cot. He had become one with the Force. Lord Bel-Baal, my father had really turned away from the dark side and found the way back to the light.  
Despite my grief, I smiled.  
In front of me, I saw the shimmering figure of my father, as I had once seen on Endor, on the day of my marriage and the Alliance's victory, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda.

The lieutenant came in and didn't believe his eyes when he didn't find my father anymore.  
"Where is he, Major Darklighter?"  
I turned my tear-stained face to him.  
"My father has just died and became one with the Force. Didn't you know he was a Jedi, Lieutenant?"  
He shook his head.  
"I'll have to make a report, Major."  
I stood up and went to the door.  
"Yes, do that, Lieutenant."

I went back with him to the guardroom, where the triplets approached me.  
Corran looked at me seriously. Too serious for his age.  
"Grandpa is dead, Mama. We have felt it when he died."  
I nodded.  
Biggs embraced my legs and looked up at me.  
"Don't cry, Mama. Grandfather is fine where he is now."  
I looked at Dash Jr., who stood in a corner and silently wept.  
"Come Dash, let's go home. Your father's already waiting for us."  
On the way to our quarters, I wondered how Dash would react to the death of his father-in-law.

When I entered our quarters in the Imperial Palace, my husband looked at me in astonishment.  
"Where's your father, Nomi? Why are you crying? What happened, darling?"  
He came towards me and took me in his arms. Crying, I leaned against him.  
"My father's dead, Dash. I was with him when he died."  
He gently stroked my hair.  
"Just cry, sweetheart. I know how you feel. Believe me, I know what's going on in you now. It couldn't been easy for you to watch how your father died. You feel so helpless if you have to watch how life goes out like a candle."  
I raised my head and looked him in the eye.  
"It almost sounds like you be sorry for his death, Dash."  
He nodded.  
"Yes, Nomi. I'm sorry for his death. Despite everything, your father was a great man. I wanted to hate him for what he did to us and especially to you, but now I can't do it anymore."  
I looked at him doubtfully.  
"Is that true, Dash?"  
Suddenly I saw behind my husband the shimmering figure of my father standing. He nodded and spoke to me.  
'Yes, Nomi, it's true what your husband says. There is no longer hate against me in his heart. Now I can really go in peace, my child. I wish you all the luck of the universe. One day, we both will be united in the Force. May the Force be with you and your family, Nomi.'  
I reached out to him.  
"Father, please stay! Don't leave me!"  
My father smiled at me one last time and disappeared.  
Dash looked behind him, but he could not see what I saw. He looked at me without understanding.  
"Come, my darling, it was all a bit much for you. It's better if you go to bed now."  
He picked me up and carried me to our bedroom, where he laid me gently on the bed.  
I stood up again, took off my uniform and went to the small refresher. It was as if a stranger looked at me in the mirror. I did not know how long I had stood looking at my face in the mirror when Dash stepped behind me and gently put his hand on my shoulder.  
"You should sleep, Nomi, it's already late."  
I nodded and followed him slowly into the bedroom, where I fell exhausted next to him in the bed and still for a long time should find no sleep.


	96. Imperial Palace

Since the death of my father, a standard week had passed and life went back to normal.  
To my shame, I had to admit to myself that my grief had subsided quickly after his death.  
Maybe it was because I had barely known him and we never had a chance to build up a real relationship with each other.

One day Luke had come to me early in the morning.  
"Good morning, Nomi. What do you think? Should we resume our Jedi training? I think you have neglected your exercises for far too long. Your leg is healed. So there is no reason for you to be idle any longer."  
I nodded and placed Corran, whom I had just held in my arms, on the floor.  
"Yes, Luke, let's practice again. I definitely need it. "However, we have to take the children with us because Dash and Leebo aren't there."  
Luke laughed.  
"Your offspring won't bother us. Moreover, it's also time that I continue training the triplets. I've already found the ideal place for training - the Emperor's throne room."  
Horrified I looked at my Jedi Master.  
"You aren't serious, Luke. Didn't you feel the shadows of the dark side lurking there?"  
My childhood friend nodded.  
"Yes, I felt it, Nomi. As I said, it's the ideal place for our training."  
I slowly but surely began to doubt Luke's sanity.  
"But Luke..."  
"But me no buts, Nomi. We'll train in the throne room. It's the opportunity to see if you can resist the dark side."  
I mulled over. I might be able to resist the temptations of the dark side, but what about my children? They would be with us in this cursed place.  
"Why are you hesitating, Nomi? Change clothes and come with me."  
Hesitantly, I went into the bedroom and slowly changed clothes. When I left the bedroom, I attached the lightsaber to my belt. I called my sons and took Tasherit out of her bed. Luke came to meet me and stretched out his hands.  
"Give me your little princess, Nomi."  
Lovingly and tenderly, he held the baby and went out. Slowly and reluctantly I followed him with the triplets in the direction of the throne room. Luke stopped at the door.  
"Open the door, Nomi."  
I opened one side of the large double door and my sons pushed past me into the huge throne room. Luke and I followed with Tasherit.

As once before, I was almost overwhelmed by the shadows of the Emperor's dark emotions.  
An unbearable pain pounded in my head.  
I looked at my children and Luke. They didn't seem to notice anything. Completely impartial, the triplets clambered around on the Emperor's throne. My Jedi Master looked at me.  
"You have to shield your mind, Nomi. Use the techniques that I've taught you. Follow your sons' example."  
He laid my daughter on the floor and came to me.  
"Have you forgotten everything I taught you, Nomi?"  
I shook my head.  
"No, Luke. I'll try to shield myself."  
Oh, oh, I shouldn't have said that.  
"Don't try, Nomi! Do or do not! There is no try! What's wrong with you? I feel that you're afraid."  
Spiteful, I looked into his blue eyes.  
"Damn, Luke, I am not afraid! I fear nothing and no one!"  
Corran came running to me and looked at me with wide eyes.  
"Mama, why are you so angry with Luke?"  
I pushed my youngest son to the side.  
"Leave me alone, Corran, and go to your siblings!"  
Luke grabbed my arm.  
"What are you doing, Nomi?"  
The pain in my head became more unbearable and then I suddenly heard that voice in my mind. Calm and enticing. There was an eerie fascination in this voice.  
'Yes, my apprentice, that's good. Give in to your anger. It makes you powerful and strong.  
No one can defeat you. You will kill the son of the traitor Skywalker. The day of revenge has finally come. When Luke Skywalker lays dead at your feet, the Empire will rise again to new power and greatness.'  
And then I saw him. His face, eaten away by the use of the dark side, floated before my eyes.  
He looked at me viciously.  
'You will be the instrument of my revenge, Nomi Darklighter.'  
Then he laughed.  
'Never!'  
'I think you do, Nomi. You will serve me the way your father once served me. There is no escape. You will bow down to me and avenge my death by killing Skywalker. Take your lightsaber and attack him.'  
In vain I tried to shield myself from the whisperings of the Emperor's appearance. He was already dead so long. Nevertheless, he apparently understood it masterfully to manipulate me with the dark side.  
My children, Luke and my husband later told me what happened next. I myself had no memory of it and the few I remember was vaguely and blurred.

Luke hadn't noticed what was going on and so was completely surprised when I activated my lightsaber and attacked him. At the last moment he jumped to the side, otherwise I would have cleft him.  
He jumped on the steps that led down from the throne and activated his lightsaber.  
"Don't give in to the dark side, Nomi."  
I laughed and walked slowly down the steps.  
"The dark side? What do you know about the dark side? Nothing! Because you are too cowardly to exploit the full potential of the Force. If you only knew the power of the dark side. Our fathers knew it, Luke. But they too were weak at the end of their lives and betrayed the true teaching."  
Luke backed away from me and continued going down the steps.  
Listen to reason, Nomi! Something or someone is manipulating you."  
I laughed again.  
"Oh, I'm reasonable, my little Jedi. You are the one who is unreasonable. Therefore I'll kill you."  
My sons were standing in front of the throne, paralyzed with fear, watching the scene unfolding at their feet.  
Luke and I had reached the end of the steps. He still shirked from fighting.  
"Come on, Jedi Master, fight!"  
I ran to the door of the throne room and locked it.  
"Now you can't escape me, Luke. Get ready to face the Force."  
Luke approached me with activated lightsaber.  
'You won't kill me, Nomi.'  
I laughed at the miserable attempt to manipulate me with a Jedi mind trick.  
"Oh yes, I'll do it, Luke. You can't escape your destiny. Be a man and fight."

Something made me hesitate, but then I jabbed out with the lightsaber. At the same time Luke yanked his green blade up to parry my blow. I jumped up, somersaulted and wielded my saber in a wide arc. Sparks sprayed as the blades met.  
Only superhuman fast reflexes allowed Luke to escape the full effect of the blow. He looked at me in surprise. I felt fear rose up in him. That was good, that was actually very good.  
But then Luke regained his composure and reached for the Force. I could feel it.  
His lightsaber whizzed down. I dodged the blow. He attacked again and again I parried.  
We continued with the duel.  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Biggs running down the steps to the throne and running for the door. He opened it and ran out. I could have stopped him, but it didn't matter. It was unimportant. I was sure that Luke Skywalker would be lying dead at my feet in a few minutes.  
I was constantly attacking now.  
Luke had to use all his strength and skills to defend himself. Attack was out of the question for him. The dark side had made me strong and powerful. I struck, and Luke yanked up his lightsaber to parry again. At the last moment I changed the direction of my blow. The tip of the energy blade twitched over his center of the body, cutting through his Jedi robe, leaving a burn mark across his body. The sweetish smell of his burned flesh hung in the air.  
A strange excitement took hold of me when I saw him flinch in pain and briefly press his hand against the wound. He looked at me in fear.  
I didn't give him a pause for breath, but continued to attack relentlessly. Again a complicated attack form. This time I grazed his right upper arm. Luke was getting slower. It was only a matter of time before the Emperor's death would be avenged.  
He reached for the Force and suppressed the pain with a Jedi relaxation technique. Luke wielded the lightsaber with renewed vigor. The boy was stronger than I expected.  
I fend off his blow and stepped forward to strike again. Although he was able to parry the blow, it was so powerful that Luke fell to the ground and went head over heels.  
I followed him relentlessly as he tried to crawl away and to get back on his feet. My lightsaber drew a long burn mark on the back of his right leg.  
Nevertheless, he managed to jump up again. He limped away from me. I followed him and threatened him with feints, which he tried to fend off. His resistance waned noticeably.  
Again my lightsaber found its aim and grazed his chest.  
"You're weak, Luke. Fight!"  
He stood panting in front of me.  
"Please, Nomi..."  
I attacked him again. With difficulty he warded off the blow.

At the same moment the door was flung open and Dash stormed in, blaster drawn.  
"Nomi! What are you doing? Do you want to kill the boy?"  
I turned my head slightly in his direction kept my eyes glued to Luke, who tried to retreat to the door.  
"Keep out of this, Dash, if you love your life!"  
My husband was still pointing the blaster at me.  
"Nomi, darling, be reasonable. You can't kill Luke. Think of Biggs and what you've sworn after he was killed in action when he attacked the first Death Star. You can't have forgotten everything."  
I clenched my fist and summoned the dark side to unleash its destructive energies on my husband.  
"You asked for it, Dash!"  
My sons cried out.  
"No, Mama, don't do it!"  
Even Tasherit, who had hitherto quietly slept in spite of the battle noise, screamed suddenly.  
I was distracted for a moment, but that was enough for Dash to act.  
With a shot from his blaster he stunned me and I collapsed unconscious.

When I came to myself, I lay in our bed.  
My husband sat on the edge of the bed and looked worried at me.  
"What happened, Dash?"  
He hesitated to answer. But then he told me the whole story.  
Tears came to my eyes. I had failed again and given in to the dark side.  
"How is Luke?"  
"Not very good, Nomi. You've badly injured him. He'll probably have to spend a few days in the medbay."  
I started to get up, but Dash pushed me gently back into the pillows.  
"Why did you want to kill Luke? What's gotten into you?"  
Suddenly I remembered what had happened before the fight.  
"The Emperor - he ordered me to kill Luke to avenge his death."  
My husband looked at me and frowned.  
"The Emperor? But he's long dead, Nomi. How can a dead man give you orders?"  
I sighed.  
"Never underestimate the dark side of the Force, Dash."  
He jumped up and paced the room.  
"If it's true that the Emperor's ghost has influence over you, then we must get out of here as soon as possible, Nomi. I could never forgive myself if something happened to you, the children or Luke. We'll leave today, darling. Somewhere we'll find a place where we can live a quiet life. Maybe we should go to Tatooine."  
I shook my head.  
"No, Dash. I can't just run away from the problems, I have to face them."  
Dash leaned toward me and gave me a kiss.  
"As you wish, Nomi. You have to do what you think is right."  
I hoped that it was really the right decision to stay on Coruscant and in the Imperial Palace.


	97. Imperial Palace

I woke up after a restless sleep.  
Dash lay next to me and I listened to his regular breathing. Carefully, I rose to avoid waking him. I wanted to go to Luke. No one can even imagine how guilty I felt.  
I almost killed my Jedi Master and childhood friend.

Apparently I wasn't quiet enough, because Dash opened his eyes and looked at me with sleepy eyes. "What are you doing, Nomi? Where do you want to go so early in the morning?"  
I could have influenced him with a Jedi mind trick, but it wouldn't have been fair to him. He loved me despite everything, and he stuck to me, although I had threatened even him in the throne room. I just didn't know what was right or wrong. My father's legacy had become a curse for me.  
My husband got up and came towards me. He took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes.  
"Why don't you answer my question?"  
My husband jolted me out of my thoughts.  
"Excuse me, Dash, I want to go to Luke."  
He looked at me questioningly.  
"Why, Nomi? Haven't you already harmed the boy enough? I doubt that he wants to see you. Besides, he's feeling very bad. A visit from you would only upset him."  
"Please, Dash, I must go to him. I have to explain to him why it happened."  
I looked at him pleadingly. Finally he nodded.  
"All right, but I'll come with you. Wait, I just have to get dressed quickly."  
I shook my head.  
"No, Dash, I have to go to him alone."  
"I can't allow that, Nomi. You've tried to kill him. Who guarantees that the Emperor's ghost won't take possession of you again and you try again?"  
"Trust me, Dash."  
He hesitated a moment, leaned toward me and gave me a gentle kiss.  
"Yes, darling, I trust you."  
Before my husband could change his mind, I hurried to the door.  
"Hey, Nomi, you can't in a nightgown..."  
I didn't hear the rest anymore.

On my way to the med bay nobody came across me in the sparsely lit corridors.  
Once there, I opened the door and went quietly to the bed. I was shocked when I saw Luke. What had I done to him? His complexion was of a pale pallor. Luke breathed fitfully. He had to be in terrible pain for although using a Jedi technique to mitigate them, he groaned.  
His presence in the Force flickered as if he was about to die. It was the same when my father died. Desperately, I sank to my knees in front of his sickbed.  
"Luke, please, don't die. Believe me, I didn't want that. How am I supposed to complete my training when you are no longer with me to teach me? Except of you, there is no Jedi Master in the entire galaxy. My children, who should show them the ways of the Force, if not you? The new Jedi order... It can't all be over before it has begun."  
Suddenly, I felt the gentle touch of his hand stroking my hair. It trembled slightly. I looked up and met the gaze of his blue eyes.  
He moved his lips, but I couldn't understand his words. I leaned close to him and then I understood what he was saying. It was only a whisper.  
"You're not to blame, Nomi. I should have listened to you."  
He paused and continued after a while. Master Yoda taught me never to underestimate the dark side. I won't die, my time hasn't come yet, Nomi. Get the Kaiburr crystal from my quarters."  
I jumped up. The Kaiburr crystal. That I hadn't thought of it. As fast as my feet carried me, I ran into Luke's quarters to fetch the crystal. When I opened the door, I recoiled in horror. Before me stood the Emperor's shadowy apparition. Again I was stricken by these unbearable headaches, but this time they didn't hit me unprepared.  
'You have failed, Nomi. Skywalker is still alive. You have to fulfill your task.'  
I looked into the face, eaten away by hate and the use of the dark side.  
"You have no influence on me anymore. I'll never serve the dark side."  
He laughed.  
'Well, we will see. You gave in to the dark side several times. I'm sure one day there will be no return from this dark path for you.'  
The apparition approached me.  
'Skywalker will die, Nomi. There is another one who will avenge me. If you fail again, she will take your place.'  
Then the apparition laughed and vanished.  
I had no time to think about the late Emperor's words. I quickly took the crystal out of its container and headed back to the med bay.  
Once there I directed it on Luke's wounds. The red glow of the crystal intensified. The glow enveloped Luke's body and the wounds began to close. At the same time, I felt his presence in the Force grow stronger. I smiled. My Jedi Master would live.

Feeling reassured, I returned to my quarters, where my husband was already waiting for me.  
He had our daughter in his arms and came towards me.  
"You look happy, darling."  
I nodded and took the baby.  
„Yes, I'm happy, Dash. Luke will live. The Emperor hasn't achieved his goal."  
I sat down on the couch and gave our daughter the breast. My husband sat down next to me and watched as his little darling sucked eagerly. Dash leaned toward me and gave me a gentle kiss. He lovingly stroked Tasherit's head. My husband sighed.  
"It's been four months since I first held our daughter in my arms. I've fond memories of her birth. It was a wonderful experience for me. Quite different than the birth of the triplets."  
I smiled as I remembered how easy Tasherit's birth was. The relaxation techniques that Luke taught me, had spared me the horrible pain I had when the triplets were born.  
Dash tenderly stroked my hand with which I supported Tasherit's head.  
"That's the way it should always be, my love. Only you, me and our children."

Yes, that would be nice, but unfortunately were in the galaxy still the scattered remnants of Palpatine's Empire. As long as the warlords were fighting each other, there was no danger for the New Republic. But should one of them succeed in uniting the warring factions...  
But I didn't want to think about that at the moment. I hoped that once in my life I would be able to be truly happy.


	98. Imperial Palace

I woke up early after a quiet night and had just breastfed Tasherit when Dash sat down on the couch next to me. My husband gave me a tender kiss and stroked his little daughter.  
"Good morning, you two. Have you slept well, Nomi?“  
I nodded.  
"Are our sons still sleeping?"  
I reached out with the Force and felt for the triplets' presences. In the children's room, I felt the smooth and quiet flow of the Force. I smiled.  
"Yes, darling, our sons are still sleeping soundly. Leebo!"  
Astonishingly, the droid came immediately.  
"Yes, Nomi?"  
I held out the baby to him.  
"Please be so kind and take Tasherit, Leebo. She needs fresh diapers."  
"Of course, Nomi. Come, little one, we're going to the children's room now."

After giving our daughter Leebo, I went to the refresher to take a shower. When I had undressed and stood in the shower, my husband joined me. He kissed me tenderly and then he soaped my back.  
Suddenly Leebo pounded on the door.  
"Nomi! Captain Rendar!"  
Dash let go of me and looked slightly annoyed to the door.  
"Isn't it possible to be undisturbed? What's going on, Leebo? I hope for you that it's important!"  
Dash wrapped a towel around his hips and opened the door.  
"Damn..."  
Then he fell silent. In the meantime, I had put on my bathrobe and had also walked to the door. The droid stood on the doorstep, holding Biggs in his arms. The child was bleeding from a wound on the forehead and whimpered softly. Dash took his son in his arms and examined the injury.  
"That's an incised wound, Nomi. How could that happen, Leebo? Anyway, you can tell us later. We bring Biggs to the med bay."  
I reached out with the Force to look for my other children. When I reached for Dash Jr. with the Force, I felt dark emotions. I wondered if he was responsible for Biggs' injury.

Immediately I went to the children's room while Dash went with the whimpering Biggs to the med bay. Conscious of guilt, my eldest son looked at me. The dark emotions were gone, but he still held the vibro knife in his hand.  
"Why did you hurt your brother, Junior?"  
He looked at me with his big brown eyes and dropped the knife.  
"There was a man, Mama."  
This pricked up my ears. I knelt down to my child.  
"What man, Dash? How should he have got in here?"  
Corran put his little hand on my shoulder and nodded affirmatively.  
"Yes, Mama, a very old man. I saw him too. He looked kind of odd. The man wore black clothes and his face was half hidden by a hood. His eyes had a strange color. They were almost yellow."  
Corran grabbed my hand.  
"What's wrong with you, Mama? You're suddenly so pale."  
I shook my head.  
"Nothing, my little ones. Tell me more. Did the man talk to you?"  
Dash Jr. began to cry.  
"He wanted me to hurt Biggs to punish you for failing, Mama. I couldn't resist that voice in my head. Suddenly I held the knife in my hand and Biggs bleed profusely."  
I pulled my eldest in my arms and stroked his unruly curls to calm him down.  
"It's all good, Dash, it's certainly not as bad as it looked. Your father went with Biggs to 2-1B."  
Dash Jr. wiped his tears on his sleeve and sniveled. I took a handkerchief, wiped his nose, and gave him a kiss. He looked at me hopefully.  
"You're not angry with me, Mama?"  
I hugged him.  
"No, Dash, I'm not angry with you. It wasn't your fault, darling. I underestimated the dark side. From a certain point of view, what has happened is my fault."  
My sons looked at me questioningly.

At that moment my husband came back with Biggs. The wound on his forehead had been covered with synth flesh and bandaged.  
"It wasn't as bad as it looked, Nomi. However, there will be a scar left."  
I stood up and he gave me the child.  
"When he grows up, the scar on his forehead will increase his chances with women. Females love scoundrels and he'll look so daring with that scar that everybody will think he's a scoundrel."  
I sat Biggs on the ground and grabbed my husband's arm.  
"Please come, Dash, I've to talk to you."  
I pulled him into the living room and went with him to the couch. He looked at me in astonishment.  
"Did I say something wrong, Nomi?"  
I took his hand.  
"I and the children have to leave here, Dash."  
"Why?"  
I wondered how to explain it to my husband.  
"The late Emperor influences our sons. He got Dash Jr. to hurt Biggs with the vibro knife to punish me because I failed him."  
Doubtingly my husband looked at me.  
"The Emperor?"  
I nodded.  
"First you and now our sons. Where do you want to go?"  
"I'm going to Hoth, Dash. Echo Base has been re-established. The New Republic operates a research station there. A friend of mine, Naala Dareia, works there. I can certainly find shelter with her."  
Dash jumped up.  
"You want to go to Hoth with the children? Why Hoth? You could go to our friends on Nar Shaddaa. Shug and Salla would be happy."  
"No, Nar Shaddaa isn't the right place, Dash. I need a place that is totally isolated and where the danger that the dark side is influencing me or our children is the lowest."  
"I think it's better if you talk to Luke about it. He can tell you, as your Jedi Master, what to do in this case."

Dash was right that I should talk to Luke about it. But first I had to go to X-wing training.  
I was absent-minded and when I got out of the simulator, Wedge stood in front of it shaking his head.  
"What's biting you, Nomi? As bad as today, you haven't flown in a long time. And your strike rate..."  
"Don't ask, Wedge, I can't tell you. You won't understand."  
He looked at me hurt.  
"Hey, Nomi, we had always been able to talk about everything."  
I shook my head.  
"Not this time, Wedge. I think only Luke can help me in this case."  
Wedge turned away sadly.  
"I understand."  
He sighed.  
"You've changed a lot since you know you're a Jedi, Nomi."  
I put my hand on his arm.  
"Please, Wedge, let's talk about it another time."  
He took my hand from his arm.  
"It's alright, Nomi. It's probably better if I go to my X-wing now."  
Without another word, he turned around, went to his fighter and launched. I felt his grief through the Force and it hurt me.  
Thoughtfully, I left the hangar and went to the med bay.

Arrived at the med bay, I took a deep breath when I stood in front of the door to Luke's room.  
Through the closed door I heard his voice.  
"Come in, Nomi! I already expected you!"  
I opened the door and entered. Luke sat shirtless on the floor. He had apparently been meditating. There was no sign of the wound I had inflicted on him. It was healed, as was the wound on his upper arm, without leaving a scar. I sat down on the floor in front of him and crossed my legs. Luke spoke to me in the Force.  
'What's wrong with you, Nomi? I feel that you're afraid.'  
I told him what had happened to my sons. Luke had listened attentively all the time without interrupting me.  
'That's why I want to go to Hoth with my children, Luke.'  
My Jedi Master shook his head.  
'Fleeing is no solution, Nomi. There's no point in running away. The dark side is part of us. You can't escape. There is good and evil in each of us and you have to decide for yourself which side you want to serve. No, Nomi, you have to stay here on Coruscant and face this challenge.'  
Thoughtfully, I looked at him.  
'But my children, Luke, I can't protect them. The Emperor is even in death very powerful.  
I could never forgive myself if something happens to my children.'  
Luke stood up and helped me stand up.  
'Come, Nomi.'  
He put his arm around my shoulders and walked with me to the small sitting area in the corner of the hospital room.  
'Sit down please.'  
I followed his request. Luke took my hand and I looked at him expectantly.  
'Your children are, just like you, very strong in the Force, Nomi. I want to train them when I'm healthy again. But I can't do that if you're on Hoth, because my responsibilities to the New Republic hold me here. And you're not a Jedi Master yet and therefore can't train your children.'  
'But I've already learned so much from you, Luke. I feel the Force and I can use it.'  
Luke smiled.  
'Yes, but that's not enough. You are too soft because you adore your children. I'm not sure if you would intervene with the necessary consequence if they experiment with the dark side.'  
I realized that he was right. It would do more harm to my children if I would run away with them to Hoth as if we would stay on Coruscant. I stood up and smiled at Luke.  
'You've helped me a lot, Luke, now I see more clearly and can make the right decision. I'll stay on Coruscant and you shall continue to show me and my children the ways of the Force.'  
Luke also stood up and accompanied me to the door.  
'You've made a wise decision, Nomi. The Force will be with you and your family.'

In our quarters my husband was already waiting for me. He rocked our daughter in his arms and looked at me expectantly.  
"Should I make the Outrider ready, honey?"  
I shook my head and walked towards him.  
"No, Dash, that's not necessary. We will stay here on Coruscant."  
Baffled, he looked at me.  
"But you wanted to get away from here as soon as possible, Nomi."  
I took Tasherit out of his arms and put her in her bed.  
"Luke convinced me that it's better to stay."  
While he took off his clothes, he continued to talk to me.  
"I hope you and the boy know what you two are doing."  
I approached my husband and hugged him. I tenderly traced the scar left by his severe wound on Corellia. He leaned down to give me a gentle kiss and whispered rough in my ear as he unzipped my uniform.  
"Shall we continue where we were interrupted by Leebo?"  
Instead of answering, I took him by the hand and we walked together to the refresher where Dash locked the door.  
This time no one disturbed us.


	99. Imperial Palace

In the middle of the night I woke up and saw the shimmering figure of Ulic Bel-Baal standing in front of the bed.  
I gently thrust aside my husband's hand, which was resting on my chest and stood up. Groaning, Dash turned to the other side, he seemed to have nightmares again.  
The apparition of my father said no word and beckoned to me to follow. I quickly slipped my hooded cloak on, grabbed my lightsaber and followed him out of our quarters.

My father led me through countless passages and innumerable stairs until we finally reached the roof of the palace. He sat down on the balustrade and indicated to me to do the same. My father looked at me with a worried expression before he started to speak.  
'I've been watching you, Nomi and I'm very worried about you. You've given in to the dark side and your Jedi Master seriously injured.'  
I wanted to say something, but he demanded of me with a wave of his hand to say nothing.  
'You are strong in the Force, my child and you have learned a lot from Luke Skywalker. Don't make the same mistake as I did. Your husband, your children - you would lose everything you fought and suffered for.'  
My father sighed.  
'I would love to help you, my child, but I can't. Tonight you have seen me for the last time. You will have to go your own way. I love you, my daughter.'  
He smiled at me and my father's apparition began to fade.

Long after his disappearance, I still sat on the balustrade and looked into the gaping abyss. The sun was just rising when Dash came to me on the roof. He stopped abruptly when he saw me sitting on the balustrade.  
Slowly and carefully, he approached me. I felt concern in him.  
"Please, Nomi, don't do it."  
Astonished, I looked at him. Only a few centimeters separated us and my husband held out his hand to me. He looked pleadingly at me.  
"Don't jump, Nomi."  
He thought that I wanted to commit suicide. I wondered how he came up with this idea. I held out my hand, he took it and pulled me close. He clutched me like a drowning man, crying without restrained. I gently wiped his tears.  
"Oh, Dash, how can you think that I would do this? I would never abandon you and the children."  
His beautiful green eyes were wet with tears as he looked at me.  
"I had a terrible nightmare, Nomi. When I awoke from it I felt for you, but my hand grasped at nothing. When I called you came no answer and I went to the children's room. Corran was awake and he told me where I can find you. The little one told me that besides your presence there was another one that feels kind of weird. I was afraid that the late Emperor would have you in his clutches again. When I saw you on the balustrade..."  
I closed his mouth with a kiss.  
"All's well, darling. The other presence that Corran felt was my father. He didn't want to harm me, he only wanted to say goodbye to me."  
My husband breathed a sigh of relief.

At that moment, Luke appeared behind him.  
"Good morning, Nomi and Dash."  
I was very happy to see him alive and well.  
"Good morning, Luke. You're well again?"  
Luke laughed.  
"As you can see."  
He turned to me.  
"We'll continue training today, Nomi. I see you have your lightsaber here, so we might as well begin."  
My husband looked at him in astonishment.  
"You can't be serious, Luke."  
My Jedi Master grinned widely.  
"But of course I'm serious, Dash. There is an old Tatooinian proverb. The early Womp rat finds the most waste."  
I couldn't help laughing because I had never heard of this proverb.  
"You may indeed be right, Luke, but I wear under my cloak nothing but a thin nightgown."  
Luke looked at me with a sheepish expression.  
"Oh, I think that's really not the right outfit for our training. We'll postpone it to this afternoon. So, at 1500 here on the roof of the palace. I think it will be better to leave you alone now."  
He turned and walked toward the door to the stairwell, opened it and went inside. Hissing the door closed behind him.

I was alone with my husband on the roof again. Dash looked at the door behind which Luke had disappeared.  
"What's wrong with him? He was suddenly in a hurry to get out of here."  
I also looked to the door and shrugged.  
"I don't know. Maybe a meeting he must attend."  
Dash kissed me tenderly.  
"We should go back, my love."  
Laughing, he picked me up and carried me to our quarters, where we were already expected by Leebo and the children.

The afternoon training on the roof of the Imperial Palace went smoothly.  
I hoped that the late Emperor would finally leave me and my children alone.


	100. Coruscant

It seemed the late Emperor had given up on influencing me or my children.  
Since the incident in the throne room, which would have ended almost fatal to Luke two weeks had passed in which nothing important had happened.  
I had made great progress in my Jedi training. Luke was very pleased with me. Through the daily meditation exercises I was so calm and balanced, as never before in my life.

Han and Leia, after some misunderstandings and difficulties, finally tied the knot.  
It was a very beautiful and touching ceremony. Leia looked gorgeous in her white gown. When Han and Leia joined hands for their marriage vow, my husband nudged me and whispered in my ear.  
"Would you've like to had such a beautiful wedding, honey?"  
I whispered back.  
"Oh, Dash, our wedding ceremony on Endor was beautiful."  
Dash smiled at me. I put an arm around his waist and leaned my head against his shoulder. While Han and Leia were saying the marriage vow one after another, Dash caressed my hand resting on his hip, quietly repeating the words. I thought that back then for me and my husband it wasn't a meaningless formula which we simply repeated. In the relatively short time of our marriage, we had both been put to the test, whether we were serious about our vow.  
My husband bent over to me and whispered tenderly in my ear.  
"I love you, Nomi."  
I looked into his eyes and smiled at him.  
"I know."

Following the ceremony, a grand reception was held at the Alderaanian embassy.  
Much to my surprise, I spotted my old friend Tarik among the guests. After the Battle of Endor our ways had separated. Laughing, I ran up to the tall winged non-human.  
"Tarik!"  
Some guests looked at me irritated. Tarik spread his arms and flapped his short wings excitedly, causing some wind. I heard his chirping laugh when he caught me.  
"Nomi! How nice to see you again. How are your husband and your sons?"  
I laughed.  
"Dash and the boys are fine, Tarik. Since five months we have another family member."  
Tarik looked questioningly at me with his big dark eyes.  
"Yes, Dash and I've got a daughter. Her name's Tasherit."  
"But you didn't want any more children before the end of the war, Nomi."  
I nodded.  
"You're right, but Dash literally wrested that child from me on Nar Shaddaa. You know him and his stubbornness."  
My friend laughed his chirping laugh.  
"You must have changed a lot, Nomi, if you gave in to your husband so quickly."  
He held me at arm's length and looked at me closely. As his eyes fell on my lightsaber, which hung from my belt, he looked at me in astonishment.  
"You're a Jedi?"  
Dash meanwhile had stepped behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.  
"Yes, Tarik, my wife's a Jedi."  
He bent forward and brushed my shoulder with his lips.  
"And I'm very proud of her. But why are you here, Tarik? I can't imagine you only came for the wedding."  
I had already asked myself the same question. Tarik had never been so close to Han and Leia.  
He had been only a lieutenant of the Alliance and had taken his leave shortly after the Battle of Endor, to return to his home world in the Outer Rim. Tarik looked at us proudly.  
"I'm the new ambassador of Sitti'cus'a IV at the New Republic."  
Now it was our turn to be surprised.  
We talked that night for a long time with our old friend.

When we were back in our quarters, it was very late.  
I had already gone to bed. Dash came out of the refresher into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.  
"Isn't it amazing what has become of all of us, honey? You're a Jedi, Tarik an ambassador..."  
He had come to the bed. I took hold of his arms and pulled him in the bed. My husband made no resistance and fell laughing next to me into the soft pillows.  
I kissed him.  
"And you've become a wonderful husband and father, Dash."


	101. Jedi Hope

I woke up very late and was nursing my daughter when there was a knock on the door of our quarters. Without further thought, I reached out with the Force to determine who it is. It was Luke.  
"Come in, Luke, it isn't locked!"  
My Jedi Master entered and walked toward me.  
"Good morning, Nomi."  
He sat down next to me on the couch and held out his hand to stroke Tasherit. His eyes gleamed with happiness as he stroked my daughter through the copper-red hair. She wasn't disturbed by Luke's touch while drinking. Loudly, she sucked at my breast. Lovingly I looked at my youngest child. I looked up and our eyes met. I read so much love and tenderness for my child in Luke's eyes as if it were his own.  
After a while I put my daughter back in her bed.  
"Why are you here, Luke?"  
I looked expectantly at my childhood friend. At that moment, Dash entered our quarters.  
"Yes, I would like to know that too. Good morning, Luke."  
He came up to me and gave me a kiss.  
"Good morning, darling. Did you have a good sleep?"  
I smile at my husband.  
"Yes, Dash. Yesterday it was very late, when we came home."  
Dash laughed.  
"I think we were together with Tarik the last guests who disappeared from the reception, Nomi. Han and Leia left far earlier. But we'd better hear why Luke is here. Well?"  
Luke smiled at us.  
"I just wanted to tell your wife that the Jedi Hope is in Coruscant's orbit. Commander Xale would like to talk to you, Nomi."  
My husband looked at Luke.  
"Why doesn't he come here? I don't trust this Imp and I don't want my wife to go on the Star Destroyer."  
Reassuring I took him by the arm.  
"Hey, Dash, you forget that I'm a Jedi."  
Luke made a proposal to defuse the situation.  
"You could go along to make sure that nothing happens to Nomi, Dash."  
"And our children? Leebo would be unable to cope with the four little ones."  
Luke laughed.  
"Then you take them with you. Your sons will find it very interesting on a Star Destroyer."  
Doubtfully, I looked at Luke.  
"Do you think that's a good idea?"  
"Yes, Nomi. Why do you hesitate? Commander Xale has taken an oath to the New Republic.  
Believe me, you can trust him."  
My husband shook his head.  
"I don't know, Luke. He has been an Imp and continues to be an Imp."  
I touched him lightly.  
"Hey, Dash, if you hadn't been cast out of the academy you would have become an Imp."  
He looked at me in consternation.  
"Then my brother's accidental death had at least something good."  
He stood up, went to the small dresser near the bedroom door, and took out his blaster. Dash checked the weapon and put it in the holster.  
"Just in case Commander Xale works both sides of the street. Junior! Corran! Biggs! Come, children, we make a little pleasure trip!"  
As fast as their little feet carried them, our sons came running out of their room. They jumped around cheering, while I took their sister out of her bed.  
Dash went to the door.  
"Let's go. We'll take the Outrider. Will you come with us, Luke?"  
My Jedi Master shook his head.  
"No, I have to go to my sister."

Together we walked through the large hallway lined with Ch'hala trees. Halfway, Luke said goodbye to us and went to his sister's quarters.  
We continued our way to the hangar where the Outrider stood.  
Dash was carrying our daughter in his arms. Suddenly he stopped and turned to me.  
"Do you really want to go on the Jedi Hope?"  
I nodded.  
"All right then. I hope you know what you're doing, Nomi."  
Finally we reached the hangar where Dash's Outrider and my Aquarius stood side by side.  
"Are you taking Tasherit, please?"  
Inviting he held out to me the infant. After I took our daughter from him, he entered the access code for the freighter. Slowly the ramp lowered. With a slight bow and a sweeping gesture, he showed me the way into the ship.  
"After you, my love. You know the way."  
Laughing, I walked into the freighter, followed by our sons. After I've strapped in our children, I went in the cockpit and sat down in the copilot seat and also strapped in. Dash had already made the pre-flight checks and let the engine warm up. With half repulsor power we left the hangar of the Imperial palace.

Carefully, my husband maneuvered the Outrider through the sky hooks and debris of the battle that surrounded Coruscant.  
Finally the huge Star Destroyer appeared before us. The Jedi Hope was a breathtaking sight.  
"All energy on the front deflectors, Nomi. Just in case."  
I did his bidding, though I found this precaution needless. I reached out with the Force and felt for the minds of the Jedi Hope crew. There was no hostility.  
Relieved, I leaned back in the copilot seat. Dash slowly steered the Outrider into the Star Destroyer's hangar bay. There we were already expected.  
From the assembled crew of the Jedi Hope stood out the 1.93 m tall figure of her commander.  
As I left the freighter with my husband and our sons, the crew stood in attention while Commander Xale approached us with a smile on his face.  
"Welcome, Major Darklighter, Captain Rendar. I'm glad you came."  
He bent down to our sons, who looked at him curiously.  
"Hello, boys. Do you remember me?"  
Dash Jr. nodded while Biggs and Corran went away from him and sought refuge with their father.  
The commander took me aside and spoke silently with me.  
"Can I speak to you alone, Major Darklighter?"  
I nodded and wanted to follow him to his quarters when Dash obstructed our path with drawn blaster.  
"Where do you want to go with my wife, Commander?"  
"Put the weapon down, Dash."  
Through my Jedi senses, I felt upcoming hostility in the minds of the crew. I moved away from the commander and approached my husband.  
"Please, Dash, the commander just wants a private conversation with me."  
Dash finally lowered his blaster and nodded.  
"All right, Nomi, go with him. But if you're not back here in twenty standard minutes, I'll get you."

I followed Commander Xale through the hallways and corridors of the Star Destroyer to his quarters. The door opened with a hiss and revealed a sparsely furnished room.  
"Go ahead, please, Major Darklighter."  
Without hesitation, I entered. I glanced around as the commander closed the door after he had also entered. Now I was alone with the man who had served my father and the Empire for so many years.  
"Please take a seat, Major. Can I get you a drink? I have excellent Corellian brandy."  
I shook my head smiling.  
"No, thank you, Commander. What would you like to discuss with me? I think you should finally come down to business. My time is limited. You heard what Captain Rendar said."  
Commander Xale laughed.  
"Your husband is very concerned about you, Major. He ought to know that a Jedi can take care of himself."  
He went to the small seating area.  
"Don't you want to sit down? It's easier then to talk."  
I followed him and sat down on a chair. Relieved, he sat down opposite me.  
"I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to you that you averted the court martial against me and my people. You gave us the opportunity for a new life. Please don't get me wrong, Major, but you have much of your father. He was always fair to us. How is he?"  
I swallowed hard.  
"My father is dead, Commander. He died in the Imperial palace's detention block. Lord Bel-Baal had no will to live anymore."  
The commander looked at me sad.  
"Excuse me, I didn't know that. I didn't want to reopen old sores."  
At that moment there was a knock on the door and I heard my husband calling.  
"Nomi!"  
I quickly stood up and walked to the door to open it before Dash came up with odd ideas.  
I pressed the door opener and Dash stood with his fist raised in front of me, as he was about to knock again. Embarrassed, my husband looked at me.  
"I want to apologize to Commander Xale, Nomi."  
The commander had stand up and had joined us.  
"It's all right, Captain Rendar. If I had been in your place, I probably would have behaved the same way. It is difficult to understand that a man with my past can change so completely. But believe me, I won't break the oath I made to the New Republic. Major Darklighter trusts me, I ask you to do that as well. Let bygones be bygones."  
Commander Xale put out his hand and my husband seized it.  
"Yes, let bygones be bygones. I hope you never disappoint my wife's confidence in you. Are you coming, Nomi?"  
He took my hand and we left the commander's quarters after we said goodbye.

On the way to the hangar bay, Dash told me what he had learned about the next mission of the Jedi Hope.  
"The Jedi Hope should invade Imperial territory and deploy two X-wing Squadrons there to destroy an Imperial base. One of the would-be Emperors has gathered all his forces there. Commander Xale volunteered, although he knows the odds of surviving the attack are bad."  
I couldn't help but smile.  
"He's Corellian, Dash."  
We arrived in the hangar bay, where our sons were already waiting for us. From the Outrider, the hungry screaming of Tasherit could be heard loud and clear. Quickly I went into the small bedroom to nurse my child, while Dash went into the cockpit with our sons.  
I felt the freighter slowly fly out of the Star Destroyer's hangar bay.

When we landed in the hangar of the palace, Dash kissed me.  
"I hope Commander Xale won't disappoint our, and above all, your trust."  
"He won't, darling, I'm sure."


	102. Imperial Palace

Dash was standing in front of me with breakfast.  
"Good morning, Nomi."  
After putting the tray down, he bent over and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss passionately.  
"I love you, Dash."  
He get clear from me and stood up.  
"I know, Nomi."  
I looked at him in astonishment. There was such a strange undertone in his voice.  
"What's the matter? Something's wrong with you, darling."  
He looked at me with embarrassment.  
"It's..."  
He hesitated.  
"C'mon, Dash, come out with it."  
"I volunteered for the Jedi Hope mission. They assigned me to Nerf Squadron."  
I thought I had misheard.  
"You have what?"  
"I volunteered..."  
I jumped out of bed and slapped him in my helplessness.  
"Are you crazy? You've four little children! Should they grow up without a father? You must have lost your mind!"  
My husband stood in front of me and rubbed his aching cheek.  
"Please, understand me, Nomi, I can't live this way. I need an assignment."  
"No, I don't understand that! You've a family, Dash! We need you! Yesterday you said that the chances of a successful mission are very bad!"  
He tried to calm me down, but I shook off his hand.  
"Don't touch me!"  
He backed away scared.  
"Nomi, please."

Due to the loud argument, our sons had awakened and were suddenly standing drowsy in the bedroom. Our youngest tugged at his father's pants.  
"Papa, why is Mama so angry with you?"  
Dash took Corran on his arm and stroked lovingly through his brown curls.  
"Your Mama doesn't agree with a decision I made, little one."  
There was a knock on the door of our quarters and I heard Luke's voice.  
"Nomi! Dash!"  
My husband went with Corran on the arm to the door and opened it. I had followed him slowly. Luke looked seriously into my face that was flushed with anger.  
"You must learn to control your feelings, Nomi."  
Behind Luke stood Corran Horn and Wedge.  
It seemed to be embarrassing to them that they had gotten into the middle of a marital quarrel.  
They turned to go.  
"Wedge, Corran, please stay. I want to hear your opinion."  
Wedge entered the living room followed by Corran. My former Commander looked questioningly at me.  
"You want to hear our opinion, Nomi?"  
"I want to know what you think of a man who abandons his family to seek adventures!"  
I had lost my temper again. Luke put his hand reassuringly on my arm.  
"Please, Nomi, calm down and tell calmly and objective why you're so upset."  
I started to talk and when I finished, I looked expectantly at my friends.  
Wedge cleared his throat and then he began to speak.  
"Don't you think you reacted a little too fiercely, Nomi? Dash is an experienced pilot and he knows what he's doing. The upcoming mission of the Jedi Hope isn't an adventure. Your husband would never knowingly put himself in danger."  
I wanted to say something, but he demanded me with a wave of his hand to be silent.  
"No, let me finish, Nomi. Dash has certainly told you that two X-wing squadrons will be involved in the attack."  
He grinned widely.  
"Well, Rogue Squadron is one of them. I asked for Dash to be assigned to Rogue Squadron instead of Nerf Squadron. Finally, you two are still officially members of my unit. Your brother Gavin is Dash's wingman."

At the mention of Rogue Squadron I got shining eyes.  
Luke must have felt my emotions because he spoke to me in the Force.  
'Nomi, a Jedi doesn't crave adventures. You have just address reproaches to Dash and now you want to fly in combat yourself? I think I'll never understand you. It seems you've really much of your father in you.'  
I answered him in the Force.  
'Damn, Luke, you wanted to do it never again!'  
My Jedi Master looked at me innocently.  
'I didn't do it, Nomi. But your emotions were felt even without great effort.'  
"... and that's why I wanted to ask you if you join in, Nomi."  
Wedge touched me lightly.  
"Hey, Nomi, you've been listening to me at all?"  
I shook my head.  
"Excuse me, Wedge, what did you just say?"  
He smiled at me.  
"I asked you if you participate in the mission. It would be as it used to be."  
The offer was tempting. Finally flying an X-wing again. I was so tired of simulator exercises.  
My husband, Corran Horn and Wedge looked at me expectantly, while my Jedi Master shook his head slightly. Again, I heard his voice in my head.  
'Nomi, you should think of your children.'  
I looked to my youngest son who cuddled with his father. Then I turned back to Luke.  
'I think of my children, Luke. They should grow up in peace and freedom. Therefore, the last remnants of the Empire must be destroyed. My decision is firm, I will fly in combat with my comrades from Rogue Squadron.'  
Luke looked at me sad and disappointed.  
'I can neither understand nor approve your decision, Nomi. But you have to do what you think is right.'  
I nodded and looked at my husband and friends.  
"I'm coming with you."


	103. Jedi Hope

I gave our sons in the care of Luke and our daughter was looked after by Gista Topol.  
My Jedi Master tried again to talk me out of my plan. But I was adamant. Shrugging, he let me go eventually.  
"Knock yourself out, Nomi! May the Force be with you."

A shuttle brought those who participated in the mission aboard the Jedi Hope.  
Commander Xale was waiting for us in the hangar bay. Smiling, he came to meet us.  
"I didn't think that we will meet again so soon. Major Darklighter, Captain Rendar."  
My husband smiled and shook the commander's hand.  
"Well, we're full of surprises, Commander."  
Xale accompanied us to our quarters.  
"When you made yourself at home, come to the briefing. It's scheduled for 0900."  
Hissing, the door closed behind the commander.  
My husband sat down on one of the cots and looked at his chrono.  
"One standard hour until the briefing, darling."  
Expectantly Dash looked at me and opened his arms.  
"Come, Nomi."  
Slowly I approached my husband and sat on his lap. I gently ran my fingers through his thick red hair as I kissed him. Dash returned my kiss full of tenderness. In an intimate embrace, we fell on the cot, while the Jedi Hope made the jump to hyperspace.

In the briefing a nasty surprise was waiting for us.  
The holoprojection in front of us showed the planet Lip'a'rii II, which was partially surrounded by a planetary shield.  
Commander Xale continued.  
"Therefore a direct orbital bombardment of the Imperial base isn't possible. Grand Admiral Strombol is a capable strategist. It would be fatal to underestimate his skills. So how do we want to proceed? I'm open to any suggestion."  
Wedge stood up.  
"Yes, Commander Antilles?"  
Wedge went to the holoprojection.  
"As you can see, there are almost the same conditions as then in the Battle of Endor. Before we can bomb the base, the shield must be deactivated. Therefore, a commando unit must land on Lip'a'rii II and, bypassing the sensors, locate and destroy the shield generator. I'm aware that this won't be an easy task. We don't know how many troopers are stationed in the garrison and what equipment they have. Our Bothan spies couldn't provide us with any intel about that."  
Wedge sat down again and Commander Xale nodded thoughtful.  
"Does anyone else have a suggestion on how we want to proceed?"  
Nobody piped up.  
"Good. I think we should proceed as Commander Antilles has proposed. Commander Antilles, the ball's in your court."  
He gave Wedge the floor again and our friend stood up. He glanced over our ranks.  
"I'll lead the commando unit. It won't be easy and I don't want to detail anyone to do it. The decision to participate is voluntary. However, only fighters are eligible who have an appropriate training."  
As his eyes met mine, I felt his unspoken question and raised my hand.  
"I'm in, Commander."  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dash turn pale. I could feel that he was afraid for me.  
I took his hand and squeezed it.  
"Trust me, Dash. I'll come back. I promise."

Besides me, Tycho Celchu and Corran Horn volunteered for the commando mission on the planet's surface. Four Rogues versus an entire Imperial garrison. The odds could have been worse.


	104. Lip'a'rii System

In the Lip'a'rii system, we dropped from hyperspace to real space.  
Our small commando unit had gathered with the fighter pilots, who were to conduct the bombing mission, in the hangar bay of the Jedi Hope. Wedge stood in front of his X-wing and started talking to the pilots.  
"So we proceed as we discussed this morning. As soon as the shield generator is destroyed, Nerf Squadron and Rogue Squadron attack the base."  
He looked at Wes Janson.  
"Wes, you're Rogue Leader during my absence. You know that you must attack immediately when the shield's down. We'll get away in time. Alright, all on their stations and may the Force be with us."

I went, followed by Dash to my X-wing, in which my faithful R2 unit Fuzzy was already in its socket. At the sight of me it gave a cheerful whistle. We hadn't met in a long time, but it still remembered me.  
As I wanted to climb the ladder to my X-wing, my husband held me back and pulled me into his arms. He hold me tight as if he didn't want to let me go. He lovingly kissed me goodbye.  
"May the Force be with you, Nomi."  
I smiled at him and gently pulled away from him.  
"With you too, Dash."  
Then I climbed up the ladder, donned my helmet and closed the canopy. My husband waved to me one last time before retreating behind the hangar gate.  
Fuzzy had already warmed up the engine and I quickly made the pre-flight check.  
One by one we left the Jedi Hope in our X-wings in direction of Lip'a'rii II.

We managed to land unnoticed outside the range of their sensors on the planet's night side. After pulling the camouflage net over our X-wings, Wedge pointed northwest. In the dim light of the double moons of Lip'a'rii II, jagged mountain peaks loomed.  
"The garrison is in this direction. There should also likely be the shield generator located. We've to cross the mountains on foot. It would be too risky to march by day, so we're only at night on the move. This planet is teeming with imperial patrols. So we've to be very careful."  
He looked at us scrutinizingly and then his eyes remained on me.  
"You can't be serious, Nomi to perform this mission armed only with your lightsaber."  
I nodded.  
"Of course, Wedge. I'm a Jedi and I don't need another weapon."  
He came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders.  
"Nomi, please be reasonable and at least take a blaster."  
I shrugged.  
"If it reliefs you, Wedge."  
He breathed a sigh of relief.  
"Yes, it reliefs me, Nomi. Your husband would never forgive me if I didn't bring you back from this mission in one piece."  
Tycho had meanwhile packed the delayed-action detonators in a backpack and shouldered it.  
"Let's go, Rogues."

With difficulty we made our way through the dense undergrowth. The air was filled with the nocturnal calls of unknown animals. I opened up to the Force and could feel how every single being, every plant, every stone was a part of it. It was a wonderful feeling.  
Although I opened a way with my lightsaber again and again, we made very slow advance.  
Wedge was about to step out into a clearing when Corran pulled him back and sent him flying.  
"What..."  
Corran kept shut Wedge's mouth and whispered:  
"Imperial scouts, right in front of us."  
Astonished, I looked at the two and wondered how Corran wanted to know that. There was no one to be seen. I reached out with the Force and actually felt the minds of four other humans.  
I looked questioningly at Wedge and crawled slowly and carefully towards him.  
"And what are we doing now?"  
He sighed.  
"I don't know. We can't bypass them, that would take too much time and we do not have time, Nomi."  
I nodded and rose.  
"Hey, where are you going?"  
"Let me see to that, Wedge. When I give you a signal, you must run as fast as you can."  
The three men nodded and watched as I walked toward the clearing.  
I reached with the Force for the scouts' minds. This way I made sure that they wouldn't perceive that four Rogues are passing their post.  
I beckoned my comrades and they ran past me over the clearing and took cover on the opposite forest edge. I quickly followed them. When I reached them, I couldn't suppress a triumphant grin.

We were still marching several kilometers until the day was dawning.  
In the dense undergrowth we set up a camp. After eating the unflavored protein bars, I sat down next to Corran.  
"Why did you know that there were scouts at the clearing?"  
He shrugged.  
"I don't know. Somehow, I sensed danger, Nomi."  
"Can it be that you're Force sensitive?"  
He looked at me in astonishment.  
"What makes you think that? To be honest, since my escape from the Lusankya, I've also suspected that I could be Force sensitive."  
Unconsciously, he reached for the coin with the image of a Jedi which he wore on a necklace.  
"Maybe you should talk about it after our return with Commander Skywalker."  
He nodded and curled up under his blanket.  
"Yes, maybe I should do that."  
Then he fell asleep from exhaustion. Tycho had also gone to sleep when Wedge came to me.  
He sat down next to me.  
"Don't you want to sleep, Nomi? It was a long march and the heaviest part of the way is still ahead."  
I shook my head.  
"I'm not tired yet, Wedge and one of us should be on sentry duty."  
He get closer to me and looked me in the eyes.  
"I know that I shouldn't ask that, Nomi..."  
He hesitated.  
"C'mon, Wedge, spit it out. What do you want to know?"  
He seemed to have to muster all his courage.  
"Are you happy with Dash?"  
I wondered why he asked me that question.  
"Yes, Wedge, I'm happy with Dash. Although sometimes it isn't easy to live with him. You know his obsessional jealousy."  
Wedge sighed.  
"Sometimes I wonder, if we would have become a couple, in case Dash hadn't come back, Nomi."  
I knew that my answer would hurt him, but I didn't want to lie to him.  
"No, Wedge. I would never be able to feel for you, what I felt for Dash and still feel. I'm so sorry. I've always seen only a very good friend and comrade in you."

As ever, I could feel his heartache through the Force and I was unable to help him.


	105. Lip'a'rii II

When Tycho stood sentinel, I lay down to sleep for a few more hours and woke up when evening dawned.  
To my amazement, Wedge was, in spite of our conversation, laying right next to me. Carefully I pushed his hand, that was resting on my arm, aside. He slept very restless and his face... It looked kind of pained. Suddenly he cried out.  
"Biggs!"  
Now I knew what haunted him. He experienced in his dream once more my cousin's death.  
It was so long ago and he still couldn't forget. I touched his shoulder to wake him up.  
He woke with a start and looked around sleepily.  
"What..."  
I put my hand over his mouth.  
"Psst! Quiet, Wedge. You had a nightmare."  
He looked at me and sighed.  
"It's always the same dream, Nomi. I could have prevented the death of your cousin if I had stayed in the trench."  
In his eyes were tears. In front of me was no longer the tough Commander of Rogue Squadron, but a man who blamed himself for the death of his best friend. I shook my head  
"No, Wedge, you wouldn't have had a chance. The TIE pilot who killed Biggs was Vader."  
Wedge looked at me in surprise.  
"How do you know, Nomi?"  
"The Dark Lord told me himself when I was his prisoner on Vjun. If you had stayed in the trench, not only would my cousin be dead, you would have been killed as well."  
I looked to the sky where the twin moons rose.  
"I think we should leave."  
Wedge nodded and rose. Corran and Tycho were ready to march. They had just been waiting for us.

After three standard hours we had reached the first spurs of the rugged mountain range. It was clear to us that it would be hard to hide from imperial patrols in this area. Slowly and carefully, we started the climb. It was just a narrow path that was almost overgrown by unknown plants. The light of the twin moons was barely enough to see the way. But we couldn't risk using glow rods or my lightsaber to illuminate the path. I reached out with the Force and stopped shocked.  
Wedge almost crashed into me, when I stopped so abruptly.  
"What is it, Nomi? Do you feel danger?"  
I shook my head.  
"I'm not sure, Wedge. Somehow I feel a disturbance in the Force. But it feels different. As if...  
We have to go over there."  
Before us lay a small plateau on which I, followed by the men, purposefully headed for. From there came the strange disturbance in the Force that I had felt.  
Before us we saw a settlement or rather what was left of it. There were only the deep in the ground situated foundations of the houses to be seen. Wedge stepped next to me and pointed to the remains, some of which had burn marks.  
"Do you know what happened here?"  
I was about to shake my head and answer him when I saw in a vision of the past what had happened here. It was horrible. Jedi had lived here, hoping to escape the persecution by the Emperor's henchmen on this remote planet. But there was no escape.  
One day a Star Destroyer entered the Lip'a'rii system with Lord Vader and my father onboard.  
They traced the Jedi and annihilated them in a firestorm unleashed by the dark side of Force. Nobody escaped.  
Wedge touched my shoulder.  
"What is it, Nomi? You're become very pale."  
I couldn't answer.  
Corran looked up at the sky.  
"We must be going."  
Wedge shouldered the backpack with the shells.  
"Corran's right. Let's go on."  
I still stood like numbed in front of the remnants of the Jedi settlement that had been destroyed by my and Luke's father.  
"C'mon, Nomi. We must go."  
At last I broke free of my numbness and followed the men back to the path to continue the climb.

The morning dawned and we looked for a sheltered place to get some sleep there. After we had eaten our rations, I sat down a little aloof on the rocky ground to meditate. But I couldn't concentrate. Somehow I didn't feel well. I couldn't shake off the images of the blazing inferno unleashed by my father and Vader, in which so many Jedi died. Wedge came to me.  
„What's wrong with you, Nomi? You look so pale."  
"It's nothing, Wedge."  
"You can't expect me to believe that! I know you too well and too long."  
I stood up and left him.  
"Please leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it."  
But he stuck to his guns.  
"It has something to do with the destroyed settlement, isn't that so?"  
I reacted sharply to his question.  
"Blast it, yes! My father and Vader destroyed it! The inhabitants were Jedi! Are you satisfied now?"  
Sobbing, I ran up the mountain. I just wanted to go away. I heard footfalls behind me, but it was not Wedge who had followed me, but Tycho. He grabbed my arm hard.  
"Let me go, Tycho!"  
He pressed his free hand on my mouth while he tightened his grip on my arm.  
"Quiet, Nomi. Should the Imps become aware of us?"  
I shook my head and he loosened his grip. He smiled in relief and finally released me.  
"That's better, Nomi. Let's go back to the others."  
I followed him and was grateful that he asked no further questions. Wedge and Corran came halfway to meet us.  
"Is everything all right, Nomi?"  
I nodded.  
"Good. Tonight we'll reach the garrison. It's better if we go to sleep now. Tycho."  
"Yes, Wedge?"  
"You're the first on sentry duty."


	106. Lip'a'rii II

Wedge woke us up as the evening dawned.  
"C'mon, we have to leave. The longer we need for our mission, the greater the danger that the Jedi Hope will be detected."  
Silently we continued the climb. Again and again I reached out with the Force to check if the coast is clear. Finally we reached the summit.  
Wedge took out his binoculars and crawled cautiously to the edge of the abyss. He made a soft whistle.  
"What is it, Wedge?"  
Instead of answering, he handed me the binoculars and then I saw it. Before us in the valley stretched the Imperial garrison. It was much bigger than we all suspected. And then I saw the goal of our mission. The shield generator was located in the center of the vast complex.  
Wedge looked at us.  
"Any suggestions on how we want to proceed?"  
Tycho and Corran looked at each other clueless. I looked at Corran.  
"When we descend into the valley, we'll be within sensor range. I see no way how we can approach unnoticed."  
I nodded in agreement. I just wanted to say that I had no idea either when I saw them.  
"Scouts, right in front of us."  
Wedge laughed quietly.  
"Do you also think what I'm thinking right now?"  
As if on command, we nodded.  
"Let's go then."  
We drew our blasters. Unsuspecting, the scouts approached our position.  
"Kill them this way we can still use the armor."  
Wedge whispered. Corran answered him with a wry grin.  
"Hey, Wedge, it's not the first commando mission we're doing."  
The scouts were only a few meters apart from us, when Wedge gave the command to attack. We jumped up and killed the completely surprised scouts fast.  
"Good job, guys. Hurry!"  
We put on the scouts' armors and went to the spot where we suspected their speeder bikes. When we actually found them there we breathed a sigh of relief. It would have been hard to explain in the garrison why we come back without our equipment.  
Before I donned my helmet, Wedge scrutinized me.  
"Is everything alright with you? You look pale."  
"Yes, I'm fine, Wedge. I'm just a little dizzy."  
He looked at me questioningly.  
"Will you make it?"  
"Of course, Wedge."  
"Let's go and put our heads in the rancor's mouth."  
We jumped on the speeder bikes and drove off.

After a standard hour we had reached the garrison.  
Without difficulty, we passed the guard at the entrance gate and slowly approached the shield generator. I could hear Wedge's voice over the helmet's built-in com.  
"Nomi, can you influence the guards in front of the shield generator?"  
Instead of answering, I nodded and reached with the Force for the minds of the stormtroopers. I smiled when I felt that I was in their minds. Then I signaled my comrades.  
Tycho cursed as he tampered with the lock.  
"Damn, the lock has been secured with another as one of the Imperial standard codes."  
I moved him aside and activated my lightsaber. With a blow I destroyed the lock and the door opened with a hiss.  
Before the technicians and stormtroopers in the room behind the door could react, we attacked. Tycho ran into the back of the room, where the shield generator's energy supply was, to place the delayed-action shells. Meanwhile, Wedge and Corran were engaged in a fierce firefight with the advancing Imps. Wedge glanced at Tycho.  
"Come on, Tycho, now come on!"  
I stood with my activated lightsaber right in the line of fire and fended off the blaster shots that were aimed at me. Tycho rushed toward us while he fired ceaseless at the Imps.  
"Let's get out of here!"  
As fast as we could we ran out of the building and directly into the firing line of the stormtroopers alarmed by the fighting noise. Protective, I stood in front of my comrades and fend off the shots with the lightsaber, directing them back on the attackers. It was absolute chaos. The air was filled with the screams of the wounded and orders.  
Finally we reached the speeder bikes. We jumped up and in a furious drive we approached the closing gate.  
Behind us the shield generator blew up and the attack of the Jedi Hope supported by Nerf Squadron and Rogue Squadron could begin. Just before the gate closed, we drove through and were safe.

With the speeder bikes we were quickly back to our X-wings.  
We removed the camouflage net and jumped in our fighters to join in the attack.  
"Fuzzy, full of energy on the shields!"  
My R2 unit gave a quick whistle and the display showed that the shields were by 100%.  
Via com I heard Wedge.  
"Let's go, guys. Wes and the others may need some help."  
Full throttle we flew back to the garrison.  
"Switch to combat frequency. Hello, Rogue Leader, do you guys need help?"  
I heard a laugh before Wes Janson answered.  
"No, Wedge, the Imps have just surrendered. Where have you been this long?"  
Wedge laughed too.  
"I'll tell you when we are back on the Jedi Hope where we drink a good Corellian brandy."  
The garrison was a smoldering heap of ruins. Our forces had done a great job.  
The X-wings of Rogue Squadron and Nerf Squadron ascended to the orbit of Lip'a'rii II and flew towards the Jedi Hope. When we landed in the hangar bay, my husband ran to my X-wing. I had barely reached the hangar floor when he already hugged me and kissed me passionately. I blushed when I noticed that everyone in the hangar looked with prying eyes at us.  
"Please, Dash, let me go."  
He laughed.  
"They should all know that I love you and that I'm very proud of you, Nomi. You and the others did a good job down there."

In the evening, a small victory celebration took place on the Jedi Hope, during which, among other things, Dash was promoted to Major and I, despite my protest, was promoted to Commander.  
Wedge made an epic out of our commando mission when suddenly music sounded. It was a waltz that I often danced on Tatooine in my youth. I took my husband's hand and wanted to drag him to the area where several couples were already moving to the rhythm of the music.  
Startled, he looked at me.  
"You want me to dance with you, sweetheart?"  
I nodded and Dash blushed with embarrassment.  
"Nomi, I've never danced in my life. I never had the opportunity."  
Laughing, I hugged him and gave him a kiss.  
"Then you'll learn it. C'mon."  
Reluctantly, he let me pull him onto the dance floor, where I showed him the steps. My husband quickly understood, and although he stepped violently on my feet several times, this waltz was the most beautiful I've ever danced.  
When we sat down again, Dash looked at me over the rim of his wine glass and smiled.  
"Do you know what day is today, Nomi?"  
"Yes, a day when we have again achieved a victory over the Empire."  
"Not only, honey. It's the day we met and fell in love."  
"That you thought of it, Dash."  
My husband chuckled.  
"How could I ever forget our first encounter?"  
He took my hand and kissed it.  
"I was very impressed by the small, sassy, red-haired smuggler who wasn't intimidated by me. Now close your eyes and put out your hand."  
I followed his request and held out my hand. He then put something in it.  
"Open your eyes, my love."  
In my palm were the most beautiful earrings I've ever seen. My husband beamed with happiness when he saw my joy over his gift.  
"It's an Alderaanian filigree, Nomi."  
I bent to him and gave him a kiss.  
"I don't know how to thank you."  
Dash looked at me with a longing glance.  
"I've already an idea. Let's go to our quarters."


	107. Coruscant

After several hyperspace jumps, the Jedi Hope had reached the orbit of Coruscant.  
My husband and I flew the first shuttle to the planet's surface.  
When we left the spaceport, Dash took me by the hand and pulled me with him.  
"Come, Nomi, I want to show you where I was born and raised."  
"Must that be now, Dash? Wouldn't it be better if we first go to our children?"  
He laughed and gave me a kiss.  
"Our children are in good hands with Luke and Gista. C'mon, it's not far."  
"All right, Dash."  
After 15 standard minutes we stood in front of a large pyramid-shaped building. The front door still showed the Imperial seal that had been affixed after the banishment of the family.  
The name Rendar was barely decipherable.  
Almost awestruck, I stood in front of the house where my husband was born.  
"Well, Nomi, how do you like it?"  
"It's huge. Your family must have been very rich."  
My husband nodded.  
"Yes, we were one of the richest families of Coruscant until the Emperor took everything from us. But that is the past, honey. Come, our children are already waiting for us."  
First we went to Gista Topol to pick up Tasherit. Dash took his little darling in his arms and kissed her lovingly. The baby snuggled up to his proud father. After we said goodbye to Gista, we took a taxi and drove to the Imperial palace.  
At the large entrance gate we were already expected by Luke and our sons. Cheering, the little ones came running towards us. I bent down to them and hugged them. Then I heard Luke's voice in my head.  
'I need to talk to you, Nomi.'  
Annoyed, I looked up.  
'Must that be now, Luke?'  
My Jedi Master looked at me with a piercing glance.  
'Yes, it has to be.'  
I took Dash Jr. in my arms and stood up.  
'Well, all right, Luke. But first I bring along with Dash the children in our quarters.'  
Luke nodded.  
'Well, I expect you in 20 standard minutes in my quarters.'

After putting Tasherit in her bed, I went into the living room where my husband was sitting on the floor playing with our sons. When I went to the door, he looked up.  
"Where are you going, darling?"  
I turned to him.  
"I have to go to Luke, Dash. He asked me earlier."  
My husband looked at me angrily.  
"I would like it if Luke and you, when I am around, would talk like normal people with each other. Our children are also already starting to do that."  
He sighed.  
"It's really not easy to be the only non-Force sensitive in the family."  
I went up to him, kissed him and gently stroked his neck.  
"You've other talents. But I really have to go now. My Jedi Master values punctuality."

Luke had already waiting for me at the door of his quarters.  
"Come in, Nomi."  
He put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the small couch that stood in his living room.  
"Sit down please."  
I followed his request and he sat down opposite me in an armchair.  
"I must talk to you, Nomi. It doesn't go on like this. If you keep this up, you'll fall victim to the dark side. During the mission on Lip'a'rii II you used the Force to attack. Haven't you been listening to me? A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. If you don't stick to what I teach, you'll have the same fate as our fathers. Do you want that, Nomi?"  
"No, of course not, Luke."  
My childhood friend stood up.  
"From tomorrow we'll intensify your training and you'll refrain from such adventures like the Jedi Hope mission in the future. Do you get it?"  
"Yes, but I'm a commander of the Alliance."  
"But me no buts. First and foremost, you are a Jedi and you must abide by the orders of your Jedi Master."  
I stood up as well and bowed slightly.  
"Yes, Master Skywalker."  
Luke accompanied me to the door.  
"Come tomorrow morning after breakfast with your sons to me."  
"I'll do so, Luke."  
Then I walked back to our quarters.


	108. Imperial Palace

At the morning my husband stood with breakfast in front of the bed.  
"Good morning, darling. Did you sleep well?"  
He set the tray down and leaned down to me to give me a kiss.  
At that moment our sons came out of their room and stormed our wide bed as if it were a fortress. My husband straightened himself and looked at me disappointed.  
"Too bad, Nomi. Maybe we should make a little trip into hyperspace in the near future. Just you and me."  
I laughed and hugged Biggs, who had sat down next to me and helped himself to the breakfast. His little face was smudged because he couldn't get along with the Blum fruit.  
"With four children, it isn't easy for a couple to be alone. Until now you have still found time and opportunity to be alone with me."  
My husband smiled dreamily. Apparently he was remembering the previous night when we both hadn't got much sleep. He picked up Biggs and wiped his sticky face, while Dash Jr. and Corran regaled themselves with my breakfast. Dash laughed when he saw how his offspring the bed gradually decorated with sticky Blum fruit juice.  
"Hey, Dash, Corran, leave something over for your mama!"  
As if on command, the two little ones stuck out their sticky hands, on which lay the sad remnants of the Blum fruits. The fondness for this fruit, which is indigenous on the forest moon of Endor, they seemed to have inherited from me. When I was pregnant with them I had eaten it very often. I smiled.  
"Enjoy your meal! I'm glad if it tastes good for you."  
Dash sat down on the edge of the bed and put Biggs back on the bed, reaching for the plate of Corellian stew. I grabbed a sandwich and took a bite. This superb breakfast was something quite different than the protein bars that were our food during combat missions.  
I had to hurry because I was sure that our youngest family member would wake up soon and demand its right. Right on cue, Tasherit's loud screaming was to be heard.  
I was about to get up when my husband gently pushed me back into the pillows.  
"I'll bring you the little one, Nomi."

Shortly thereafter, he came back with our little daughter in his arms and gave her to me after he had kissed her on the forehead.  
"Yes, my little darling, now you'll get your breakfast."  
He went into the kitchen and came back with the bottle. I gave it to our daughter and she started sucking while her three brothers watched with interest. My husband happily watched as our daughter drank. He leaned toward me and gave me a kiss.  
"I'm the happiest man of the galaxy, Nomi. Our children and you mean more to me than all the lost wealth of the Rendar family. My only regret is that my parents doesn't live to see it all."

After putting Tasherit in her bed, I went to the refresher for a shower. I had to hurry because it was time for my training with Luke. Then our sons were showering. Laughing, I found that there was almost no spot on their little bodies that wasn't smeared with Blum fruit juice.  
After I washed our sons I got dressed for the training. On the way out, I attached the lightsaber to my belt. Dash came to meet me.  
"Should I come along?"  
"No, that's not necessary. We no longer train in the throne room. So nothing can go wrong.  
C'mon children, we need to hurry, our Jedi Master really dislike to wait."  
Our sons rushed to me and we made our way to Luke's quarters after saying goodbye to their father.

Of course, my sons didn't pass the Ch'hala trees in the large hallway without playing with them. Each color change was greeted with loud cheers, which earned us slightly disapproving glances from the various ambassadors assembled there.  
"C'mon children, we really need to hurry now."  
All three pulled a face and stubbornly refused to finish their game. Finally it went too far for me and I grabbed the little gang despite their protest. The ambassadors standing around laughed when I took the flailing Corran and the weeping Dash Jr. under my the arms. Biggs followed by choice when he saw how his mama dealt with his brothers.

Finally we arrived at Luke.  
He was already waiting for us and when he saw me arrive with my burden, he couldn't suppress a grin.  
"No reason to grin. Wait until you have children of your own, Luke. It isn't this simple to cope with them."  
Luke bent down to Biggs and picked him up.  
"Come in."  
I released Dash Jr. and Corran and they hurried after Luke. My Jedi Master had put Biggs on the floor where there was a small pile of sand.  
"Sit down, Nomi, I'll start with your sons. Rest for a spell. Do you want something to drink?"  
I sat down in the armchair that Luke had pushed over to me.  
"Yes, a cup of tea would be nice."  
Luke went to the small cooking unit to make the tea. After a short while he came back with a cup of tea and handed it to me. Then he turned to the triplets.  
"I think you should show your mama what you've learned from me."  
My sons nodded eagerly. Each of them took a handful of sand and strewed it on the ground.  
Full of concentration, they looked at the sand in front of them and I could feel them reaching for the Force. Fascinated, I watched how the children with the power of their minds formed out of the sand the faces of their parents and their little sister.  
When they finished their work, they proudly looked over at me. Luke laughed.  
"Wait, Nomi, there's more to come. That's not all they're able to do."  
With their small hands, they pushed the sand to a pile and then with the help of the Force they formed a three-dimensional image of their grandfather, Lord Bel-Baal.  
I stood up and stroked my sons lovingly through the brown curls. To my great joy, they didn't lose their concentration and their artwork lasted. Luke smiled at his young pupils.  
"I think, you three gave your mama a great pleasure with your grandfather's picture."  
He threw a small orb into the air and, before it could touch the ground, the triplets stopped its fall with help of the Force, while their grandfather's three-dimensional sandy image still hovered before them. Luke leaned back satisfied in the armchair he had just sat down.  
"It's the first time they've accomplished that, Nomi. Your sons are really very strong in the Force. They'll once become great Jedi. You and Dash can really be proud of them. It is regrettable that you don't want more children."  
He stood up and walked over to the triplets before I could reply.  
"That's enough. Now I'll show you something new."  
I felt my Jedi Master reaching for the Force and saw the little stool, which stood in front of my armchair as a footstool, rise into the air. Slowly, Luke lowered it to the floor again.  
"It's your turn, Dash."  
My firstborn stood up and stretched out his little hand in the stool's direction. I saw clearly the effort on his little face as he tried to lift the stool with help of the Force. It didn't work and he started to cry. Finally he ran to me and hid his head in my lap.  
"I can't do that, Mama."  
Comforting, I stroked his head.  
"On the contrary, my little darling, you too will be able to do that someday. You don't have to give up that fast, Dash."  
Full of hope, he looked up at me while he sniffled softly.  
"Really, Mama?"  
I smiled at my eldest.  
"But of course."  
One after another, my younger sons also tried it. With the same devastating outcome. Both of them, like their older brother, came running to me being in tears and I had to comfort them.  
Luke stroked the heads of the triplets and smiled.  
"I think we'll finish for today. We'll continue practicing tomorrow. Nomi."  
I looked up.  
"Time for your lightsaber training. We will practice on the roof of the palace."

Together with my children I followed Luke to the roof of the palace.  
The triplets sat down under a small canopy and began to play. Luke activated his lightsaber and the green blade stood out clearly against the dark clouds that hung over Coruscant.  
"C'mon, Nomi, what are you waiting for?"  
He came slowly towards me and I dropped into a fighting stance. When he was at arm's length, I activated my lightsaber and awaited his attack. It came quick. With a vast blow he aimed at my right shoulder. I yanked up my lightsaber and fended off his attack. I turned and thrusted my saber down. But Luke had expected this and fended off my attack. Sparks flew as the energy blades clashed. My Jedi Master laughed.  
"That was very good, Nomi. Give in to the Force."  
I felt the curious glances of my sons when they interrupted their game to watch our training fight. The fight continued and neither Luke nor I backed down.  
Finally, I lowered the weapon and stood breathing hard in front of my Jedi Master.  
"Let's put an end to today. I'm totally exhausted."  
Luke smiled.  
"Yes, I think that's enough for today. You're extremely skilled with the lightsaber, and your use of the Force is perfect. I'm afraid I can't teach you anything anymore. My task will now be to make sure that you do not succumb to the temptations of the dark side and to teach your children. I'm very proud of you, Nomi."  
When Luke praised me so much, I blushed.  
"Without you, I wouldn't have made it, Luke. You were a very good teacher and I would like to continue training with you."  
Meanwhile Corran had come to us and tugged at my pant leg.  
"Mama?"  
I bent down to him.  
"Yes, darling?"  
"Will I be able to do that someday?"  
Luke stroked his brown curls and answered in my place.  
"Yes, you and your siblings will one day learn how to use the lightsaber. But you're too young yet, Corran."  
He sighed.  
"If my sister could finally decide to train with me to become a Jedi. She still stubbornly refuses to use her inherited abilities."  
"Leave her time, Luke. One day she'll ask you to teach her."  
"I hope you're right. The New Republic in desperate need of Jedi who protect and preserve the hard-won freedom."

When I returned with the triplets from Luke's training, I was already expected by Dash, who was giving Tasherit the bottle.  
"Well, how did it go?"  
I gave him a kiss and stroked our daughter's head.  
"Very good, Dash. We had no problems and Luke is very satisfied with the progress of our sons."  
My husband smiled at me, stood up, and put our daughter in her bed.  
"I expected nothing else since they having us as parents."  
I nudged him and laughed.  
"Hey, this is where the old Dash Rendar reappears."  
He looked at me.  
"Uh, how did you mean that?"  
I stepped behind him and put my hands on his chest while I kissed his neck.  
"I mean your boastfulness, my love."  
My husband moaned softly.  
"Please, Nomi, stop it."  
"With what should I stop?"  
Slowly I began to unbutton his shirt while I didn't stop kissing him. Tenderly, I let my hands roam his bare chest. Dash held my hands and turned his face to me. A smile played around his half-open lips as he looked deep into my eyes. His voice was hoarsely as he whispered to me.  
"I love you, Nomi."  
I couldn't resist this alluring mouth. Voluptuously, Dash returned my kiss and pulled me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my husband stood up and carried me into our bedroom.


	109. Imperial Palace

A few standard weeks later our little daughter had made use of their skills for the first time.  
I thought I couldn't believe my eyes, as Dash nudged me and pointed to Tasherit's bed.  
Her favorite toy, a small X-wing model, was fallen out of bed and instead of crying, she reached out with the Force to regain it.  
Slowly but unstoppable, the model fighter flew towards the little hand of our youngest.  
But then our girl lost access to the Force and the X-wing fell to the ground, which caused Tasherit to cry heartbreaking. My husband went to her and picked up the toy to give it to her.  
Eagerly, his little darling grabbed the X-wing model and rewarded him with a radiant smile.  
Carefully, he took Tasherit out of her bed and laid her on the floor.  
Immediately, she dropped the X-wing and began to crawl to explore her surroundings.  
Dash laughed.  
"Our daughter really starts early to be interested in her environment, darling. She'll might become a great researcher."  
I shook my head and went after my daughter who crawled straight for Leebo.  
"First and foremost, she'll become a Jedi, Dash. Now that she's starting to discover her Force abilities, we'll have to make sure, like the triplets, that she doesn't accidentally give in to the dark side. Sometimes I really wonder why I gave birth to four potential Jedi."  
My husband shrugged.  
"Perhaps it has been so determined by the Force that you so much believe in, sweetheart."  
Astonished, I looked at Dash.  
"Don't you believe in the Force? You're from an old Jedi family..."  
Dash stopped me with a wave of his hand.  
"The Force couldn't help my grandfather when he was murdered. Don't you think that one can lose faith when something happens like this, Nomi? And what about your own father?"

Meanwhile, Tasherit had reached Leebo and tried to draw herself up to her full height at his legs. The droid looked down at the little human child and then at me.  
"Isn't your daughter too small to be able to stand, Nomi?"  
At that moment, our daughter fell over and began to cry again. I took her on my arm and tried to calm her, but she didn't stop crying. Dash came to me and held out his hands to our child.  
"Come, Nomi, give me our little princess."  
As soon as Tasherit lay in her father's arms, she stopped crying and put satisfied her thumb in her mouth. My husband looked at me proudly.  
"See, honey, that's the way to do it."  
I laughed and gave him a kiss.  
"I see, from you a fourfold mother can still learn much about children."  
An intercom call disturbed this family idyll.  
"Major Rendar, come immediately to General Madine."  
Dash confirmed that he had received the order and looked at me questioningly.  
"What does the general want from me, Nomi?"  
I shrugged, hoping he wouldn't send my husband on a dangerous mission again. So much for, that he would keep us out of the line of fire because of the children.

It was a long time until Dash returned from the meeting.  
The children were already in bed and I wanted also to go to sleep.  
"What did Madine want from you?"  
Dash sat down on the small couch and stretched out his legs.  
"Tell me, Nomi, have you ever heard of a guy named Kyle Katarn?"  
I thought hard. Finally I remembered where I had heard that name before. I nodded and sat down next to Dash.  
"Yes, my love. Kyle Katarn is the man who stole the plans of the first Death Star. Why?"  
My husband laughed.  
"Oh, that's why Madine kicked up a fuss because of this guy. So he's a hero of the Alliance. Now I understand."  
Astonished, I looked at my husband for his somewhat weird hilarity.  
"What do you understand?"  
Again become serious he answered me.  
"It seems as if this man is in very big trouble. Madine wants me to get Katarn out of there. His last message reached Coruscant three standard weeks ago. He was at the time just before the jump to hyperspace when the connection suddenly broke off. Since then there's no sign of life from him."  
I stood up.  
"Do you know where Katarn was when the connection broke off so suddenly?"  
Dash nodded.  
"Yes, he was near Sullust."  
"Sullust? But this planet is part of the New Republic. I can't imagine that there are Imperial units."  
My husband looked at me in astonishment.  
"Haven't you heard that Imperial Star Destroyers repeatedly have been in this part of the galaxy for a few standard months? Hey, Nomi, you're usually always informed about everything."  
I sighed.  
"You know, Dash, since I've been more involved with Jedi training and raising our children than with my duties as a commander, it's hard for me to stay in the loop."  
My husband laughed.  
"You exaggerate, sweetheart."  
I shrugged.  
"Does anyone know who of the would-be Emperors there shows his manpower?"  
Dash went to the small dresser to take out his blaster.  
"General Madine suspects it's Grand Admiral Strombol. As you remember, we burnt out his troops on Lip'a'rii II. But apparently, contrary to our information, he hadn't massed his main forces there. So much for the skills of our Bothan spies. Maybe they should focus less on political quarrels and trading political offices but more on their main task. Borsk Fey'lya of course washes his hands of responsibility. Whatever, it can't be changed."  
My husband interrupted his flow of speech and looked at me thoughtfully.  
"What do you think, Nomi, is it possible that Katarn was caught by Strombol?"  
I thought about it, while Dash continued to pack his gear, which he would need for the mission.  
"This could be it. This Grand Admiral won't acknowledge defeat. With Katarn in his clutches, he has a bargaining chip in his hands when it comes to negotiations with the New Republic, Dash. Tell me, wasn't there a girlfriend of Katarn?"  
My husband looked at me.  
"A girlfriend? How should I know that, Nomi? Until recently I had never heard of the man and now I should know if he has a girlfriend? What's the point of that? She'll hardly be able to help us."  
I went up to my husband, looked him in the eyes and smiled.  
"You should know what a woman who loves, is capable of. Moreover it just occurred to me, that Kyle Katarn has a girlfriend. Her name's Jan Ors and she's pilot of the Moldy Crow.  
Oh yes, darling, as far as I know, Jan Ors is an outstanding pilot. It's certainly not wrong if we get in touch with her."  
Dash went to the door.  
"Good, darling, I'll see if I can find this Jan Ors. Maybe General Madine can help me along."

When he opened the door, stood a slim, dark blonde woman with bright green eyes in front of him.  
"My name is Jan Ors. General Madine told me that you want to help in the search for Kyle, Major Rendar."  
My husband nodded.  
"Yes that's right. Come in, please."  
When she entered the room, she walked up to me and shook my hand.  
"Commander Darklighter, I've heard a lot about you. Will you also participate in the search?"  
I looked questioningly at Dash. He smiled at me and nodded slightly.  
"Yes, I'll participate, Jan."  
A relieved smile crossed the woman's face when she heard my answer.  
"Please take a seat."  
Jan Ors followed the request and sat down on the small couch in our living room.  
"Last, I received a com call from Kyle, telling me that he's near Sullust. Since then, I have heard only once again from him."  
This information made my husband and me sit up and take notice. Madine had only said that Katarn's last message came from Sullust.  
"Where did the message come from?"  
Jan looked at my husband.  
"It was difficult to understand, but it sounded like Romegan system."  
Dash looked over at me.  
"The Romegan system? Oh, oh, that's much worse than I had thought. In the middle of the Imperial sphere of influence."  
I shrugged.  
"Hey, Dash, we've already been in worse places."  
My husband nodded and smiled.  
"All right, Jan, when do you want to leave?"  
Jan Ors stood up and walked to the door.  
"If possible right away. The Moldy Crow is ready to go. How about you?"  
"We just have to accommodate our children, then we can start."  
Dash called to the kitchen.  
"Leebo!"  
The droid came in with a lot of noise. I wondered if we should check him out thoroughly after we were back from the mission.  
"Leebo, go to the hangar and prepare the Outrider for takeoff. We'll leave today."  
Amazingly, the droid set itself in motion without contradiction.

After the children's accommodation was organized by Luke and my friend Gista we went to the hangar. The search for Kyle Katarn, the hero of the Alliance, began.


	110. Romegan System

After several hyperspace jumps we finally arrived in the Romegan system.  
Next to us, the Moldy Crow dropped out of hyperspace. Via com came a call by Jan Ors.  
"Any trace of Kyle?"  
I reached out with the Force and searched for a presence. Nothing. Dash looked at me expectantly. I shook my head and reached for the switch for the com.  
"No. If he should be here, then he must be in a place where I can't feel him."  
Jan sighed.  
"I was hoping it would be easier to find him if I have a Jedi with me."  
Dash looked at me uncomprehending and spoke softly to me.  
"What does this woman expect? After all, you can't just conjure this Kyle."  
I laughed.  
"You know, Dash, sometimes the ordinary people of Jedi expect miracles. Who knows what Jan has experienced with Katarn, which makes her believe in such miracles."  
I looked at the data that came in through the sensors.  
"There is only one planet suitable for humanoid life forms. We'll go below the usual sensor range. Just in case."  
My husband nodded.  
"Alright, darling. I'll send the coordinates to Jan."

Slowly we approached the planet's surface. Finally, I could recognize first details. The planet was very similar to Dagobah. It was traversed by large swamps and in the distance was a huge shield generator to be seen. Whoever have had retired here put no value to visitors.  
Dash looked at me questioningly.  
"What do you think, Nomi, could that be the hiding place of Strombol?"  
I shrugged.  
"No idea, darling."  
Finally, we had found a suitable landing site and landed the Outrider on the small peninsula in the middle of the swamp. Via com we heard Jan's voice.  
"Hey, you haven't left me much room for the Moldy Crow."  
Dash could not help grinning as he reached for the com and answered.  
"This is the special test of the New Republic. If you manage to land your ship on this narrow spot, you will get a free ticket for the public transport of Coruscant."  
Instead of an answer Jan landed the Moldy Crow on the peninsula half a standard meter next to the Outrider. Dash whistled admiringly through his teeth.  
"Not a bad pilot. Not as good as me, but still."  
I unstrapped and stood up.  
"When you're done with your competition, who's the better pilot of the two of you, we can get out."  
Dash stood up too, walked over to me and kissed me.  
"Hey, it was just a harmless joke."  
Tenderly, I stroked his cheek.  
"You'll never change. But c'mon, Jan will be waiting for us. Leebo!"  
The droid came slowly into the cockpit.  
"Yes, Nomi?"  
"You'll stand sentinel over the ship."

Slowly and cautiously my husband and I left the freighter.  
Jan Ors was already waiting for us at the foot of the access ramp.  
"And what are we going to do now?"  
She looked questioningly at us.  
"We'll be on our way soon."  
My husband shouldered his backpack and headed for the forest on the edge of the swamp.  
Hastily, Jan grabbed her gear and followed him while I reached out with the Force again.  
Again nothing. But suddenly I had a strange feeling. At a point in northwestern direction,  
I felt... I didn't know how to describe what I felt. There were nothing. Absolute nothing.  
I wondered if it could be a vacuum in the Force. But what should have created this vacuum? Some kind of danger lurked there. I was sure of that. And I suspected that we would find Katarn at this strange place. Dash had turned to me.  
"What is, Nomi? Come!"  
I pointed in the direction that these strange sensations had caused in me.  
"We've to go there."  
The two looked at me questioningly.  
"Are you sure, darling?"  
I shrugged.  
"Not sure, but something feels strange there. I... I can't feel anything there."  
Astonished, my husband looked at me.  
"What do you mean by that? I don't understand that."  
"There's nothing, Dash, absolute nothing. I can feel neither animals nor plants. It's like a blind spot in the Force."  
Jan had come to us and looked at me in disbelief.  
"Are you sure, Nomi?"  
I nodded.  
"Then we have to go there. Kyle is certainly there."

I didn't know what made Jan so sure, but I followed her as she headed for the indicated direction.


	111. Romegan

After several days of strenuous march we finally reached our destination.  
Again and again we had to circumvent large swamp areas, which had cost us a lot of valuable time. A bunker loomed ahead of us, undoubtedly of Imperial design. Dash whispered in my ear.  
"What do you mean, Nomi, whether there Katarn is in?"  
I cringed because I hadn't noticed his approach.  
"Hey, darling, what's wrong with you?"  
I looked at him with a pained expression.  
"I lost access to the Force, Dash. It's as if I were blind. A terrible feeling."  
My husband looked at me and frowned.  
"Seems the cards are stacked against us. Alright, we'll handle that. After all, even when you didn't know anything about your abilities, we fought always successful."  
Jan had joined us again in the meantime after she had explored the area. When she saw my pale face, she looked questioningly at me.  
"What's wrong with you, Nomi?"  
Dash replied instead of me.  
"My wife has lost access to the Force, Jan."  
I had expected dismay, but instead the woman smiled.  
"Then Kyle is here. A Jedi can only be held if prevented from gaining access to the Force."  
Dash nodded.  
"Perhaps they've a Jedi cage."  
Jan shook her head.  
"No, Dash, the effect of the Jedi cage wouldn't also extend to Nomi. It must be something else with the same effect."  
Dash shrugged.  
"I can't imagine what..."

Suddenly the bunker door opened and a squadron Stormtrooper with a prisoner in the middle stepped out.  
I grabbed my macrobinocular to take a closer look. The man was bound hand and foot. With difficulty he moved forward. The Imps must have tortured him, for his clothes hung in tatters from him and he bleed from numerous wounds on his body.  
Jan tapped my shoulder.  
"What do you see, Nomi?"  
Without a word, I handed her the macrobinocular. With great difficulty Jan suppressed an outcry.  
"It's Kyle. What have they done to him?"  
Dash muttered silently:  
"The usual. A miracle that the man's still alive. Nine times out of ten the Imps make short work of Rebels. I wonder where they bring Katarn."  
I stood up.  
"We'll follow them to find out."

It wasn't hard to follow the stormtroopers with their prisoner. Katarn was very weakened by the torture and could barely stand let alone walk. Again and again he fell and had to laboriously rise under the blows and kicks of his guards.  
I looked at Jan. Her face had a hard expression. Between clenched teeth she mumbled:  
"They'll pay for this."

During the march, I looked into the treetops. There I saw strange-looking animals that I didn't know. I nudged Dash and pointed at the animals in the treetops. My husband looked up and turned pale.  
"You know these animals, Dash?"  
He nodded.  
"Yes, we heard about of them on the Imperial Academy on Carida. Actually, they're only found on the planet Myrkr. They're Ysalamiri. It's beginning to add up, Nomi. It's said that they can create a vacuum in the Force. These animals need only ten standard minutes of sleep, and only in this short period of time is the negative effect on the Force repealed. Let's hope that this time is soon, because I fear that we'll be in dire need of your abilities."  
I nodded, knowing that without access to the Force, it would be difficult if not impossible to rescue Katarn.

It was a long march, but then they had apparently arrived at their destination.  
In front of us a large clearing spread with a large, deep mud hole. In the middle of the mud hole was pole made of durasteel. The group moved towards the shore, where was a small skiff at the edge.  
Shortly before reaching the shore Katarn fell down again. The stormtroopers, flanking him wrenched him up and dragged him to the edge of the mud hole. Finally, the two stormtroopers, followed by their commander, dragged him onto the skiff. The rest of the stormtroopers stood on the shore. The skiff's engines howled, it rose on its repulsors and was steered in the pole's direction. Once there, they cut off the engines.  
The commander pulled up the semi-unconscious Katarn and pushed him toward the pole. Finally, he chained him there.  
It was deathly quiet so that we could understand some words as the stormtrooper commander planted himself in front of Katarn and spoke to him.  
"Now we will see what your Jedi skills are worth, Rebel scum."  
Katarn responded, but his words couldn't be understood even with the greatest effort. Laughing, the commander turned away from Katarn.  
"We will see what the Makana will leave over from you."  
Then the skiff started and approached the shore at high speed. When they reached the shore, the commander jumped off the skiff and turned to one of the stormtroopers there. Because of the noise of the engines, we couldn't understand what he said. Then he jumped back onto the skiff and it set off in the direction of the bunker, while the rest of the stormtroopers were slowly getting ready to leave.  
When they had finally gone, Jan jumped up and ran, followed by us, to the mud hole.  
Katarn seemed to have lost consciousness. Suddenly, on the surface, I noticed bubbles rapidly approaching the chained Jedi at the pole. Jan cried out in horror.  
"What's this?"  
Dash drew his blaster and fired in the direction of the bubbles. An angry roar was the reaction.  
The speed at which the bubbles approached the pole doubled. Jan looked at me desperate.  
"Do something, Nomi. What's coming there will kill Kyle if you do nothing."  
Meanwhile, Dash kept firing his blaster. But the approaching creature couldn't be stopped. On the contrary, it was getting faster and faster. It was clear to me that it wouldn't be long before it would reach Katarn.  
"Damn, Dash, stop it! Do you want to put the Imps onto us? They hear that!"  
My husband looked at me and put his blaster back in the holster.  
"Sorry, Nomi, I hadn't thought of."  
I thought feverishly. Suddenly it hit me like a thunderbolt. I felt the Force. I could feel it clearly. The Ysalamiri must have fallen asleep. I remembered what Dash said. Ten standard minutes. A damnably short time to levitate to the middle of the mud hole, to free Katarn from his shackles and return to the shore with him. If I wanted to do it, I wasn't allowed to hesitate a moment longer. I reached for the Force and smiled slightly as I sensed the familiar feeling. Slowly I lost contact with the ground as I began to levitate with help of the Force.  
The approaching bubbles had almost reached Katarn. From afar I heard my husband calling.  
"Nomi, hurry up! You've only a little time left!"  
I reached my destination at the same time like the Makana. Out of the murky waters of the swamp showed up groping tentacles and a large, eyeless head covered with corneous plates.  
I had no time to spare. Determined, I activated my lightsaber and severed the chains. I focused my whole thinking on the hungry swamp creature, and put the idea in its brain that there is better prey some distance away.  
Although I had learned this Jedi technique only recently by Luke, it worked. The Makana veered and moved at high speed in the opposite direction.  
"There are only two standard minutes left, Nomi!"

With Katarn in my arms I levitated towards the shore where Dash and Jan were waiting.  
Only a few meters were left before we would reach the shore when I lost access to the Force again. The Ysalamiri were awake. I fell with Katarn into the swamp.  
Jan and my husband cried out.  
"No!"  
Holding Katarn still tight in my arms, I sank deeper and deeper into the swamp.  
"Don't move, darling!"  
Dash ran to the edge of the forest and came back with a long branch after a few standard minutes. Meanwhile stood Katarn and me, although I had avoided any movement, the swampy water up to our necks. Jan took a long rope from her backpack and wrapped it around Dash's waist.  
With careful movements, my husband came to the spot where Katarn and I slowly sank into the swamp, while Jan secured him with the rope. Finally, we were only two meters apart.  
Dash pushed the branch toward me.  
"Cling on tight, Nomi!"  
I reached for the branch with one hand while still clutching Katarn with the other. Dash pulled with all his strength and with a smacking sound the swamp released us.  
After a few standard minutes we finally reached the shore. Jan immediately rushed to us and took the unconscious Katarn from my arms. Gently she let him slide to the ground and knelt beside him.  
Dash hugged me and gave me a kiss. Then he switched on his comlink.  
"I think it's time we get out of here. Leebo!"  
Quietly, I heard the droid's familiar voice.  
"Yes, Major Rendar?"  
"Bring the Outrider to the following coordinates..."

I turned away and went to Jan and Katarn. The latter had meanwhile regained consciousness. Jan smiled at me.  
"Thank you for what you've done, Nomi. Thanks to your help, my child doesn't have to grow up without a father."  
Only then I realized the little bulge of her belly. Jan had noticed my glance and laughed.  
"It's a boy."  
Katarn smiled at his pregnant girlfriend, then he looked at me.  
"I also have to thank you, Nomi. Without your help I would be dead now."  
From afar we heard the distinctive engine sounds of the Outrider. Leebo had managed to fly her to the specified coordinates without incident. The droid landed the freighter on the clearing. We went aboard and flew back to the Moldy Crow. There Katarn and Jan said goodbye.  
Without problems we left the gravitational shadow of the planet a little later and jumped into hyperspace.


	112. Imperial Palace & Epilogue

Without incident, we reached Coruscant.  
We were already expected by Luke and the children on the landing platform of the Imperial palace. Cheering the triplets were running towards us on their short legs.  
"Papa! Mama!"  
Laughing, Dash caught Corran as he plunged into his outstretched arms. Our two older sons embraced my legs and looked up at me. Smiling, I knelt down to them.  
"Well, what were you doing when we were away?"  
Luke had followed the scene in front of his eyes with serenity, holding Tasherit in his arms.  
"Old man.."  
I was shocked to hear these words in the hubbub. I glanced questioningly at my Jedi Master. Luke nodded.  
"Yes, Nomi, the late Emperor has shown himself again."  
Horrified, I hugged and squeezed my sons.  
"Does that never stop?"  
Dash came to me, placing Corran on the floor next to his brothers, and took Tasherit out of Luke's arms. My childhood friend shook his head.  
"I'm afraid no, Nomi. The late Emperor won't rest until he has brought your children over to the dark side of the Force. It's a dangerous time for the triplets now. They're very strong in the Force, but open for influence."  
He looked from me to Dash, who had been listening calmly.  
"You've to decide what you want to do. I think it would be best to leave Coruscant with the children."  
Dash took my hand and squeezed it.  
"We'll think about it, Luke."  
Luke nodded and left us alone.

When we arrived at our quarters, Dash sent the children with Leebo to their room and sat down on the sofa. Inviting he tapped on the soft upholstery.  
"Come here, Nomi, I have to talk to you."  
Willingly I followed his request. As soon as I sat down beside him, he began to speak.  
"I thought about Luke's words on the way here, darling. He may be right when he says that we have to leave Coruscant. But, we would lose everything that we have so laboriously built up in many years of struggle. Is it worth it?"  
Speechless, I looked at my husband.  
"I mean, it's not at all certain that the late Emperor has influence on our children."  
I jumped up and glared at him.  
"And the knife attack on Biggs? Dash, the Emperor will keep trying to influence our sons. As long as they aren't yet solidified on the light side of the Force, there is a danger that they'll get out of control. I can't and don't want to take that risk. I don't want to lose our children, Dash."  
"But..."  
"But me no buts, Dash. We'll leave Coruscant as soon as possible before more happens."  
My husband stood up and paced restlessly the room. Finally, he turned to me and sighed.  
"All right, we'll leave in two standard days. Now the only question is where will we go, sweetheart."  
In my mind's eye, a clearing appeared near a swamp, at the edge of which stood a small, half-ruined hut. I smiled. There I had spent my happiest time. The place was a good choice.  
"We'll go to Dagobah. Believe me, Dash, there we'll be safe from the late Emperor."  
My husband nodded.  
"Yes, this place is probably really far enough away. So our destination is Dagobah. I'll tell our children." 

\- Epilogue -

We were on our way to Dagobah.  
Luke agreed with our choice of exile when we told him about our plan.  
On the day of our departure, he accompanied us to the landing platform. Before I walked up the access ramp of the Outrider, he hugged and squeezed me.  
"I'll resume train your children when the time's ripe for it, Nomi. I promise. The farewell to you is very hard for me. Over the years, you've become family to me."  
Tears glistened in my eyes as I looked into his face.  
"I'll miss you too, Luke."  
Slowly I went away from him and walked up the ramp to the freighter. Dash was waiting for me at the hatch.  
"C'mon, darling, we have to go. In two standard minutes, our launch window opens."  
Before I entered the freighter, Luke called me in the Force.  
'Nomi!'  
I turned around.  
'Always remember, the Force will be with you. In everything you do.'  
I nodded, turned and disappeared inside the Outrider. There I dropped into the copilot seat next to Dash. He looked over at me and saw tears in my eyes.  
"Hey, Nomi, no reason to cry. One day we'll come back. Let's go."  
I nodded, wiped my tears and focused on the pre-flight check after I strapped in.  
Shortly after we made the jump to hyperspace.

I hoped that we would finally find peace and quiet on Dagobah.

 

\- The End -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish to thank my readers for their patience.   
> Don't miss the sequel "The New Adventures of Nomi Darklighter", if you enjoyed reading the war diary.


End file.
